Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:19 pm

Hi y'all,
10 year sub user here. Before that heroin for 5-6 years.. Before that oxy for a couple years.. So I guess I been a junkie for awhile now:). Anyway, I'm working on changing that.. Currently 3 weeks into a taper.. I'm @ 1.75 mg per day (from 3.
I've only had a couple real icky days so far.. And I felt like it took awhile to stabilize at 2 (roughly 9 days)

The last few years on sub I've been very depressed.. Functioning in the sense that I work and earn $ and provide for my family but I had no desire to do anything ever... I was a serious hermit with no desire for human interaction.
Drove my wife nuts..
I just didn't think it was the sub..
It's kinda funny.. Roughly 3 years in on the sub I started feeling similar depression... I started taking testosterone (which helped mask the depression for a few years).. Anyway now I'm hooked on sub and test..
One thing at a time for now tho.
Anyway, my vision has gone blurry that last 2 days.. Kinda worried about this as I've never had vision issues before (I've read on here of other people experiencing this).. Hopefully it corrects itself eventually.
I've had some physical symptoms but generally feel happier and more alive mentally than I have in awhile...
Even if my legs are twitchy and I'm not sleeping great.
I had some trouble registering but I'm good now., I've been reading threads on here for a few months..
So super glad I found this place... I was getting to pretty seriously considering swallowing some buckshot.. Not anymore I'm feeling more hopeful than I have in many years. I'm gonna kick this bullshit..
Last edited by nomojo3479 on Thu Jul 06, 2017 6:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:23 pm

Sorry that was pretty rambly.. I just started feeling sick from my last drop 3 days ago.. Anyway, I'm glad to be here.. I hope I can at least get below 1 mg..
It's funny all the bullshit sub dr's (and sub users who haven't tried to quit)..
Anyway, I've gotta work tomorrow so I'm gonna smoke a joint n try to sleep.. Might be back tho if sleep doesn't come
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Wed Mar 15, 2017 6:28 pm

Oh ya, n I wanted to say thx to Ratch and all those who shared taper threads.. Reading those threads took the fear out of it for me.. I can deal with feeling like shit... (I felt shitty on sub anyway)..
Speaking of feeling not well.. I had a panic attack yesterday am (not common for me).. I had just smoked a joint and my heart started pounding, sweeting like a pig, cloudy and fogged thoughts.. Clumsy.. That was weird cause I drank some oj and ate some toast and felt ok.. And proceeded to have a super productive day where I felt really good. Idk if it was a withdrawal symptom or what ? I wasn't feeling sick and it was like an her after I dosed.. I wonder if anyone else has had something similar?
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Don_Pisto » Fri Mar 17, 2017 4:34 pm

Hello and welcome

It looks like the site has been pretty quiet lately. I at least wanted to say hello and let you know it's great to have you here. You came to the right place if you truly want to get off of being a prisoner from subs. Ten years is a long time. If you're ready, and want to, you can free yourself from subs. Others should be coming along soon. I went through a taper myself, and got great support here. Here to help if needed.

DP
Sub free since June 4, 2015
User avatar
Don_Pisto
 
Posts: 395
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:54 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Subblind » Sat Mar 18, 2017 7:08 am

Nomojo welcome to SS...Like Don has said the site has been very quiet and that will happen from time to time.you sound like your ready to get yourself off the poison so congrats on that...you've come to a good place for that.CHEEPS and Eyedotz will be around soon to help guide you further.Cheeps has been on a little vacation and should be back anytime now...Eyedotz is been up to her ass in work shit but she will also be around any time now.

So again,good luck man...glad you found your way here and hope we can offer you some support....best regards SB
User avatar
Subblind
 
Posts: 887
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:57 am
Location: North East

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:36 pm

Nice,
Thanks for the replies.. I've read many of the threads on here. I appreciate the encouragement... I swing so rapidly from feeling pretty decent mentally to shitty and back.. I've been smoking more pot lately., that's really been my only comfort med.

thinking of going down to 1.5 in a day or two. I haven't really any acute withdrawal symptoms so far..Just discomfort skin not fitting and real low energy..
Kind of a bummer how long this taper is gonna take me.. (I'd like to do it in 2 months or so but I've gotta be able to work..
So anyway thanks to all of you guys (and gals) who have quit. Gives a guy like me some hope that there is a shot. I just keep telling myself the discomfort and fatigue is my ideal state for the time being.
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:48 pm

My wife (who has only known me as a sub user).. Keeps getting upset that I'm so lethargic and bummed out (not that I'm that bummed out).. It's very hard to explain to people that for the next 6 months (minimum I'd think) I'm going to feel kinda shitty. My mom asked me to come do her taxes this am, I did it but I was a grump about it..
But at this point I'd rather feel shitty and not numb than zombie'd out..
It's so weird the more I taper the more I realize how out of it I was.. It's kind of embarrassing.
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Eyedotz » Sat Mar 18, 2017 5:55 pm

Welcome man...I wanted to stop in a say
Yeah, tapering is a marathon not a sprint. It took me 9 months to taper from 4mg to .03mg. I was determined to taper only once and if it took longer then so be it. As far as blurry vision goes, it could be a number of things. I know men of a certain age partake in ED meds which also has a serious side effect of quick onset of blurred vision. It happened to my dad this year and he had to stop the meds. Anyway, that is what comes to my mind if you hadn't had vision issues in the past. It ALSO could be your taper...it seems fast. You really want to keep your cuts to 20% or less (I did 10% cuts) every 10-14 days. Please let me know if you have any questions about tapering dude, I'd love to help if I can! The best advice I can give you my new friend... Please do not rush. We didn't get here overnight and we aren't going to heal overnight. The success stories come from patience and steel will....

Peace, Dotz (female...everyone thinks I'm a guy at first)

PS. 5 hour energy's man. They were a life saver for energy. Your wife should be proud of the undertaking of getting off subs. Limit coffee intake... It seemed to make symptoms worse for me. Are you split dosing? I would suggest it during your taper. It helps with energy and sleep.
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
User avatar
Eyedotz
 
Posts: 503
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Wed Mar 22, 2017 1:16 am

Hey there, I'm back from vacation and sorry you are here but glad you've finally registered!

From here on out you need to try the slow and low method. It sucks because patience gets tried worse than any other time in your life....if you haven't read Freeagains thread, take a look. Your history is similar to his.

The cool thing about this process you are embarking on is this.....it can be done and if you commit to it, you will succeed.

Right now you are in the sub "sweet spot". At 2mgs you start to get your emotions and the five senses back. Expect to cry over sappy feed the kids, puppies, and warthog tv commercials.

I suggest you sit on 2mgs for two weeks before you drop again. I'll be glad to help you with a taper if you can commit to it. Here again is where you learn patience. Like dotz said....it took you awhile to get here, it takes time to undo the damage.

Welcome to SS!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9509
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:55 am

Hey mojo, you still hanging in there? How are you doing?

Keep it up man. I did the long taper route and jumped a few days ago, and it was a process to be sure, but doable. You can do it if you want to. There are some damn good people around here to help too.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
User avatar
CheeZeeAnnDee
 
Posts: 370
Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:44 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Mar 25, 2017 6:26 am

Hey cheezeanndee,
I'm still hangin In there, feeling pretty decent actually. I'd have to look at my notes but I've been at 1.75 for 8 days now I think.
Haven't posted because besides working I've been fairly useless. I bought an Xbox for this taper and when I'm not working I've just been hanging in my cave.. Playing video games. Honestly it reminds me of being a kid. I rather enjoy it... And I'm grateful for the low energy time suck at the moment.
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Mar 25, 2017 7:02 am

cheeps wrote:Hey there, I'm back from vacation and sorry you are here but glad you've finally registered!

From here on out you need to try the slow and low method. It sucks because patience gets tried worse than any other time in your life....if you haven't read Freeagains thread, take a look. Your history is similar to his.

The cool thing about this process you are embarking on is this.....it can be done and if you commit to it, you will succeed.

Right now you are in the sub "sweet spot". At 2mgs you start to get your emotions and the five senses back. Expect to cry over sappy feed the kids, puppies, and warthog tv commercials.

I suggest you sit on 2mgs for two weeks before you drop again. I'll be glad to help you with a taper if you can commit to it. Here again is where you learn patience. Like dotz said....it took you awhile to get here, it takes time to undo the damage.


Welcome to SS!!


Hey Cheeps, thanks for stopping in, I do appreciate it, I'm on day 8 (I think) @ 1.75. Feeling stable at this dose now, so I think I'm going to take ur advice and chill here for another 5 or 6 days... Maybe give myself a short vacation from the sickness.
And I'd like to take you up on ur offer of help. I'll follow ur direction, as iam a novice (and a previous failure) in all things taper. I'm committed to getting off the sub and to only do it once..
My busy season is coming up at work soon, this has me a little worried but not too much.., the only time I felt really icky was when I did a >30% drop.. The last two 10% drops have been cake pretty much.

Oh yea, I also found some clonodine and a benzo (chloradepoxide) that my sub dr prescribed to me when he retired 5 years ago. ..
So now I've got cannabis, the clonodine, the benzo (that I can't pronounce) and some ambien and tramadol, and some lope for comfort meds.
I've only used the herb and the lope so far and hoping to stick to just that until it get really low or mayb after the jump for a few days.
I'll check out freeagains thread ASAP.. Btw is there a search function on this forum at all?

I've been blown away by how much I can smell and taste and feel since dropping my dose..
It's kind of creepy, I spend ten years basically totally out of it and I didn't even realize it at all.

I can remember being in a detox when I was 21 and noticing the sensations returning in the roof of my mouth and my fingertips.. I've been getting those same sensations the last few weeks.. Subs much more powerful than I thought.

I've been to 7 or 8 rehabs (in my youth) before I became the breadwinner of the family, anyway that first one I went to when I was 21 gave me phenobarbital (that stuff was amazing for detox).. But I've never seen it since then (except at a vets). It's prob a good thing I can't get any, because I really liked the buzz from it.. And considering my history with drugs from which I like the buzz.. It's probably best to stay away.
I've done a little research on it and apparently in the 50s phenobarbital and other barbiturates were the Prozac of their time.
Way more fun than Prozac if u ask me, lol
I remember my 3rd day at that detox (taking the phenobarbital) I told the nurse that I was good to go, that I felt fantastic.. She just laughed and smiled and said mayb give it another day or two.. (They only gave u the good drugs the first few days).
Anyway, long pointless ramble out. I'm gonna go check out freeagains thread. I'll check in In a few days when I do my next drop.
Peace and love to all at subsux
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sat Mar 25, 2017 7:09 am

I hear you man, netflix was my best friend during those first waves of sleepless nights. And over the past couple months I re-found video games and it has been so much fun. Whatever gets you through. I know a lot of people enjoyed bupe more around 1-2 mgs, but it was different for me. It felt like I was always bouncing between that antsy withdrawal stage and that heavy-eyed bupe daze.

I think this beginning stage is where you lay the tracks for your whole taper.

Sticking to your guns, and not taking more than you have allotted yourself for that day, will help you in the long run. For me, it was really hard in the beginning not to feel like taking an extra bit of bupe when I had a panic attack,or even to try and prevent a panic attack going into a stressful situation. But I forced myself not to. And by the time I got down further in my taper, the urge died down a lot.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
User avatar
CheeZeeAnnDee
 
Posts: 370
Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:44 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Mar 25, 2017 8:54 pm

I read freeagains thread.. I hope I'll be able to stabilize at lower doses and walk off Without too much paws. Seems like freeagain went really fast thru his taper and had a couple months of ickyness post jump.. Where it seems like the people who tapered low and slow did most of their suffering during the taper..
Idk I guess I'll just have to wait and see how I do..
I am somewhat of a sleep savant.. I used to sleep during heroin detox and it would drive the people on detox with me mad..
I just try to relax and not stress about the symptoms and I could catch a few hours here and there.. It was better than nothing..
Funny thing is I didn't even really have a heroin habit when I started sub.. I could done a week long detox and felt fine after 30 days..
Lol.. No I think spending ten years on sub is a much better idea than 5 weeks of discomfort.
I never said I was a genius (or even smart).
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:41 am

yes, it's a good idea to totally stabilize at a dose for about 4 days before moving on. You need to learn what homeostasis feels like and when you are under 2mgs so many sensations come back, smell, emotions, body vibes....stuff like that. Feeling all this sometimes terrifies people. I guess the biggest thing is not to FEAR the sensations, some are pleasant, some suck. Giving yourself time to educate yourself about the upcoming process helps you learn patience. The protocol is simple but the process is confusing at times.

At this point I say, "don't lean into the future". Sit with what you feel as each day can be different.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9509
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sun Mar 26, 2017 9:18 am

So, I'm feeling pretty good at 1.75 (no symptoms and my energy is pretty good..... To be honest I feel guilty as hell whenever I feel any better than decent... (Like I'm taking too much sub, wasting time and losing momentum on my taper)..
I need to get over that guilt tho, I'm following a plan and I should tell my brain to shut the fuck up.
That's one thing I kind of forgot about while I was on sub.. How much shit my brain talks to me during the day is ridiculous.. If I could fight my brain I would:)
Anyway, I'm gonna try to do something productive while I feel ok.
Hope u all have a good day
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Sun Mar 26, 2017 5:35 pm

nomojo3479 wrote:So, I'm feeling pretty good at 1.75 (no symptoms and my energy is pretty good..... To be honest I feel guilty as hell whenever I feel any better than decent... (Like I'm taking too much sub, wasting time and losing momentum on my taper)..
I need to get over that guilt tho, I'm following a plan and I should tell my brain to shut the fuck up.
That's one thing I kind of forgot about while I was on sub.. How much shit my brain talks to me during the day is ridiculous.. If I could fight my brain I would:)
Anyway, I'm gonna try to do something productive while I feel ok.
Hope u all have a good day


I soooo get this and it's a BITCH. :evil: :evil:
The whole "wasting time" feeling... :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :gaah: :gaah: :What I've been doing lately is to write flash fiction and song write, two things I NEVER thought about.

So yeah....this is you beating yourself up. And this is what you have to learn to accept. The past is gone and you only have today so even if you only do one teensy thing each day....that's good. Don't make big plans. I'm lucky to get a load of wash done some days. During this time you have to SIT with yourself and say....it's ok to make this taper your new work. Doing this shit is a HARD JOB. It may be the hardest fucking thing you've ever done for yourself, your life. Accepting that and throwing the guilt away is what you must do. This is what is meant by the phrase, "you didn't just get this way."

People in your life don't understand that this is hard work. Sub taper takes time and Freddy is a mean bastard. :MrT: :evil:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9509
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:14 pm

Damn Cheeps, you nailed it. How the fuck its possible for a load of laundry to be hard work is beyond me, but it is while tapering off this shit.

Mojo, (I'm gonna keep calling you that instead of nomojo, because you WILL get it back!), don't guilt yourself over non-productivity. This taper takes a lot out of you. Use the times when you feel good to get important shit, like laundry, done, just like you are doing already, because you will be happy to have those clean pajamas when you feel like shit later.

And Cheeps, I will absolutely buy your spoken word/music album. :twisted: :shred:
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
User avatar
CheeZeeAnnDee
 
Posts: 370
Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:44 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:46 pm

Mojo...you stay right there on 1.75. Patience man! On Thursday you can go to 1.5mgs for 10 days.

This is the part where you learn more about sitting with yourself. Trust us on this...No going faster...
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9509
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 2:44 am

1.5 on Thursday that's the plan..
I was wondering if anyone has a suggestion where to source (online) a pediatric syringe and whatever other stuff I may need for doing a liquid taper..
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 123
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Next

Return to Sub Sux

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests