Subtaper

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Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Sat Nov 11, 2017 9:08 pm

Howdy SS,

Just got back from vacation and all I can say is anyone who wants to test there patience tapering this shit at low doses should go to Disneyworld for a week!! No but for real Freddy the fucker was really fucking with me all week. I don't know how but I managed to stay at my dose of .25 daily..I won't lie there were a few days where I triple dosed instead of my usual split dosing but I did not spike so for that I am grateful!! Even though I did not post all week I read on here a bit everyday and I just want to say thankyou to you all cause whether you peeps know it or not you guys helped me get through!! Don't get me wrong I had a great time with my family but I had some long rough days too!!

So glad to see everyone is hanging in there and excited to refocus my attention on the tapertrain again. Well real tired so will talk more tommorrow!

Much love, Tim
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Annalo57 » Sat Nov 11, 2017 10:37 pm

DUDE!!!! Welcome home!!! So glad you were able to have fun. I think you're such a trooper. I had to go to lunch with my sister and my cousin who was visiting from Minn. Just doing that was a chore, but I went and I enjoyed myself.

I'm so proud of you!!!! Bravo man!!!

Next hurdle .....THE HOLIDAYS.......EEEEEEK!!!! All I can say is...........

Que sera sera!!

Be well my friend. Keep on truckin' and keep on posting. :cheers:

Anna banana :banana:
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Mon Nov 13, 2017 7:23 am

Back on the attack,

Quick update dropped to .19 yesterday, figured I better get back at it cause it's way to easy for me to get comfortable at any certain dose.. just want to keep the momentum going in the right direction!! I haven't been to the gym in almost two weeks but I was walking close to ten miles a day on vacation.. My fucking legs and back were the toughest things to deal with while I was away.. oh and my fucked up foot I've been dealing with for the last year. Went to see a podiatrist and was told I have plantar fasciitis.. Anyone who has had this knows it sucks but fuck it, I'm not going to let anything derail my primary mission at this point. I'm sick of being a slave to this drug and the day of reckoning is coming!!! Sometimes I feel like I've become a hypochondriac with all these god damn issues and it can be tough to distinguish withdrawal symptoms from actual health concerns.. oh well onwards and upwards we go!!

Peace T
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Dcleanist » Mon Nov 13, 2017 12:49 pm

Your good bro.

The physical will be what you're already used to. The mental starts creepn in, but I think you have enough life responsibility to be patient with the right state of mind. You will start getting your senses back witch will highten your ups. Than the chance for sensations. Yay. Peace
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Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Mon Nov 13, 2017 1:23 pm

Glad you had a nice vacation. Sorry about the plantar fasciitis. I've noticed that we all have health issues on Sub. Some go to Urgent Care, some to the ER, or maybe just a visit to the doctor. I mentioned to my MD that I had a heavy feeling in my chest & he recommended a heart stress test. It was all from WD's while tapering & went away. It was absolutely a waste of time & money IMHO.

Have you noticed that too while reading Threads? And don't get me started about the issues with teeth! I've started to use my whitening trays to protect my teeth with the hopes that no more damage occurs until I can taper to Sub = 0.

I'm glad you started back on your taper schedule. I also have to push myself to taper when my body reaches homeostasis after a drop. I just want to stay there & feel okay. But I keep pushing & dropping just like you. We have to do this so keep up the good work.

Glad to have you back!
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Annalo57 » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:18 pm

Hi Tim. You're doing so awesome!!!!!

Thats all i have to say right now. ;)

Anna :banana:
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Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Mon Nov 13, 2017 11:44 pm

I had to use some kind of ultrasound shockwave therapy on my feet due to plantar fasciitis. Proper shoes with arch support would have solved my problems years ago...alas, I did not know.

Tim....you are killing it!! How about a pix of you with Mickey?
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Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:53 pm

cheeps wrote:
Tim....you are killing it!! How about a pix of you with Mickey?


Yea Tim, we would all love to see that! Tim hugging it up with MM while on .25 sub & tapering! :crazy:
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Re: Subtaper

Postby SmottleB » Tue Nov 14, 2017 12:55 pm

Yea man just wanted to say thanks for the support, and dropping in on my thread. I’m sure you know it means a lot. I have sporadically read your thread and see many similarities in how we see tapering. I will read it in it’s entirety soon. I haven’t had the clearest thoughts lately and have been trying to keep my posts somewhat understandable lol. Keep up the good work!! I’ll definitely be checking in!
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Wed Nov 15, 2017 9:20 am

So yeah wanted to post a quick update, day 4 -.19 daily -- I've had a tough few days just dealing with emotions really.. It's so weird how with each drop I get these waves of feelings rushing in.. The physical has been the same for the most part in fact I almost feel better after this last drop.. I am very grateful for the fact that sleep has been good throughout this entire process (5-7 hrs) on average. I have a feeling that will change soon though so I am expecting the worst and hoping for da best..Music, music- music,oh and did I mention music!! Fuck yeah!!!

Got in a big fight with the wife two days ago over bullshit really, I have tried to let her know what I'm going through but it's gotta be tough for someone who is not an addict to understand.. At any rate I lost it and flipped out screaming so she is still not talking to me, but all I can do is try to be as honest as possible with her at this point and keep my eye on the prize( freedom)..

@Cheeps- hope you are doing well and I'm working on that pic of me and mm( always been a guy who's good with his hands- techy shit not so much Lol)

Till the next episode....T
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Dcleanist » Wed Nov 15, 2017 10:43 am

For her to understand she would have to live/feel it. (Chemical/mental physical incompetence).

Best thing you can do is tell her your going to act like you have your period for awhile and beg for leniency. A period of adjustment indeed. Peace.
The voice of reason is reasonably late.
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Re: Subtaper

Postby SmottleB » Wed Nov 15, 2017 11:37 am

Education. Learning about addicts can be challenging when they haven’t experienced it. My wife has been open to help including with clothes, dishes, bed sheets, towels where they need to be, good, just any and everything, she is awesome!! Without her it would be impossible! And SS of courses.
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Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Wed Nov 15, 2017 12:22 pm

Tim....tape a sign to your back for her....


Yeah....the one that sez, "Kick me here"
10 yrs on methadone
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Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Wed Nov 15, 2017 1:18 pm

Tim, congrats on your drop to .19! Keep up the good work. You're 1 lucky guy to still have sleep on your side. Glad you find such comfort in music. Regarding the emotions, can you focus long enough to watch a movie? At this point I find the escape a God send.

Sorry about the run in with the wifey. I know how awful it is to have your spouse not speaking to you. Pure hell. How long have y'all been married? I've got 31 years of experience under my belt. Whew, it's tough even w/o a Sub taper. Maybe that little bundle of daisies would help. It's amazing what something so small can do. Love Cheeps advice too! Might be good for a laugh to break the silence.

Keep up the great work!
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Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:11 pm

:D 60 days ago you were on .5 now you are under .2. With the holidays fast approaching, are you still committed to just walking off?

Congratulations....you get the PATIENCE award. A very high honor around here. :D
10 yrs on methadone
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Oxy free 12/06/14
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Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Thu Nov 16, 2017 1:24 pm

What Cheeps said!!! Your patience is outstanding & commendable!
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Re: Subtaper

Postby SmottleB » Thu Nov 16, 2017 6:25 pm

I do a lot of catering for my business for the holidays. Needless to say, these stressful times can really derail plans. Be patient, looks like you have been. Best of luck to you!!
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Fri Nov 17, 2017 9:19 am

Thanks Cheeps and peeps, I really don't think I would of made it this far without finding this place!! Just you guys being there has gotten me through more times than I can count!! :)

@cheeps- I'm still 100 percent committed to walking off this shit!! I've made it a point to let my body decide when I'm ready but I am also sticking to the plan as well.. As it stands right now, today is day 6 at .19 - with the exception of my 22 day stay at .25 I really feel like ten days at each lowered dose has been the sweet spot for ME to gear up and decend again..So my plan as of now and again this is subject to change depending on what my body has to say about it is to stay at .19 for 4 more days when I will drop to .125 stay there for ten days then drop to.06 .. ten more days following this drop puts me at or around December 11- now my plan all along was to utilize the ten day stretch I have off from work from 12/23- 1/2, Sooooo yea I might be the dumbest sob ever to decide to jump in the middle of the holidays with what is forecasted to be a brutally cold winter here in Nh but I'm going for it!!! My Plan is to jump off of .06 the week 12/10 with the thought that l can handle the acute shit while still working for another week and a half..I know this sounds crazy but my job really slows down the week before Christmas so in my mind it will be better than sitting at home going crazy and I can literally just go through the motions at work if need be..I also have a three or four days pto I can use if absolutely necessary!!

Let me reinterate that this plan is by no means set in stone so to speak. I haven't come this far by rushing things and looking to far ahead so if it doesn't work out and I feel that the stress of everything is going to compromise my taper I will stay at any given dose for a longer duration..

Crazy I went to my subdoc yesterday for what I thought was going to be the last time.. I went in there with the intention of telling this jerkoff that I'm going to jump off at .5mg ( which is what he thinks I'm at :shh: ) like NOW and get a script for gabapentin and clonidine and for the first time in 5 years the prick was out sick- lol- and next Thursday is Thanksgiving so as it stands now 11/30 will hopefully be the day I bit farewell to this clueless sob!! Kinda strange my wife's birthday is 11/30 and if all goes well this may be one of the best gifts I will ever give both her and I!! In the past in order to kick opys I had to lose my dealers numbers and this time will be no different!!
Well gotta get back to work- I hope everyone is well today!!
Best Tim
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Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:28 am

Hehehhe....I hope the fucker has pneumonia. Tim...I think you will be surprised at how well you will do...I think this is a great time for you because during the acute you'll be staying busy baking cookies and wrapping presents. Have you put up those Xmas lights yet? January is going to be cold and snowy...don't kill yourself with the snow blower...tune that bitch up now. During the times you don't sleep well have plenty of comedy movies ready....

Have you told the wife she's getting a resurrected penis for Xmas?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Subtaper

Postby SmottleB » Fri Nov 17, 2017 8:05 pm

Just thinking a little about what you said, going from .125 to .06. It is a 50% drop. sounds insignificant, and looks insignificant. I don’t know how significant it is. Just keep your head in a good place around that time. I find that the larger drops play larger mind games. Good luck W!

Smots
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