Rockin The Detox...

This fourm is for people struggling to get off methadone. If you are a methadone advocate then please PISS OFF!

Rockin The Detox...

Postby Shelly » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:23 am

sooo..I was here bout a year and half ago..tryin to ditch a bad..long term vic habit..didnt work..ended up on methadone..
I did come back a few times and talked to Mark (my name was jade..dont know if you remember) ANYWAYS..
the whole time I was on that shit..I kept what everyone said here..in the back of my mind...when I first went there I liked what the doc said..rehab dont work..12steps dont work..tapers dont work..etc etc. well cept one thing he said.."I dont know why addicts listen to other addicts and not a Dr?" I wanted to laugh..but I didnt I just said.."I guess cause they lived through it?" He said he knew better then any addict...(grins)
I had a hard time on it at first..and everytime I said something about how I felt and that I felt my dose was too high..He would say. NO you need more..20-50mgs more..dumbass! it was fucking side affects from the shit..by the time he was done I was on antidepressent..anxiety meds..blood pressure meds..and 320mgs
so after asking the doc a few times to start weening me down..he basicly said "NO..you WILL fail..your an addict..addict for life!" clinic has a 98% fail rate! oh hell naw! anger motivates me I guess..I was trying to figure out how I was gonna ween myself..almost impossible..because I had to take a high dose atleast 2x a month..(at the clinic)
I was goin on vaca and they almost denied my take homes..pissed me off..so I decided fuckit..im done..jumped off the 320mg and all the other meds..I wanna say cold turkey..but for real..I smoked mad weed..nausea was bad..
Its day 33..im okay..I know its not over..I havnt had a full good day yet..but shit when you start off minute by minute..getting several hours of feeling good without taking anything..hell ya!!
The first 3 days..not horrible..
day 4? mutherfuckmerunnin! 39hours straight..yea I counted every minute! to be honest..if I had been able to crawl to my done..well lets just say..I gave it some thought..but then the anger kicks in..98%fail? kiss my ass Prick!

after those hours..I dragged my ass out of bed and MADE myself do what I could and then push myself a lil harder..quickly realized..gotta change some habits..I ate 50 ibuprof in 2days..(ya,my kidneys was rockin) so I eat 3 a day..thats it. Ill find another way to deal with the pain..
oh hell I say I spent October in my bath tub..
I had alot of the detox symptons..most are dealable.

I had some serious mood swings..but what the hell Im female..I been swingin moods for years!

The physical limitations suck..like hitting a brick wall..getting better
the mental ones made me laugh mostly..few times I broke down..one time I couldnt figure out how to put my purse together..i cried..then I cracked up..
I feel brain damaged most times..my brain says move..my body says NOPE..but I know I gotta get comfy in my own body again..and my brain is healing...but the facts are I DO feel better..not 100% to my old self..before drugs..(whoever that is)
but ill take this over any day on methadone..
I know its not over..but bring it the fuck on..(ohh anger issues..lol)

so anyways..I really wanted to post and say thanks to everyone who posts here..I couldnt listen 2 years ago..but I kept it in the back of my head..and pulled it out as needed..it REALLY helps to know..that its normal to feel like this and that it DOES take a long time to come off this shit..some of you rock!
Shelly
 
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby dmbas » Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:33 am

:shock: i think i luv you.lol. your my ideal. nice to see more people breakn on throu to the other side. shine on you crazy diamond. :D
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby cheeps » Thu Nov 10, 2011 9:29 am

Fan fucking tastic Jade!!!! I have to go out...Be back later!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Substrate » Thu Nov 10, 2011 10:32 am

OMG...you CTed methadone at 320?????
I couldn't hack it at 8-10mg and hence im here tapering Subs. Fuck..makes me feel like a weak fuck!
Damn woman..send a little of that strength this way,would ya!
Fuck!
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:12 am

Wow-


Pretty amazing, to say the least.
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Substrate » Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:11 pm

Yeah..I know stepper...pretty amazing!....almost unbelievable! :problem:
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Shelly » Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:21 pm

I couldnt handle dope sick tryin do a taper off vics! 17 years all together of opiates..the last several were bad bad..methadone ALWAYS scared me..everyday..I just knew I was gonna drop dead from the shit..and when I got used to it..and felt that old familar dope haze kickin in..when the shit turned on me..i was like oh HELL NO..they said it here,it would happen..it did..
trust me when I say I would NEVER EVER recommend the way I did it..my detox didnt have to be as hard as it was..and if I had to do it again..I would get wayyyyy more prepared..like the vitamins..immodium..I was too sick to even drink it! I was going to try to keep a journal..i did the first 3days..LMAO..skipped day 4 and 5..day 6..all it says is HOLY F*CK..that was the end of that journal..
I remember how scared I was when I used to read this forum..
I wanted to take the easy way out..couldnt miss work..couldnt look like hell..being too sick wasnt an option for me(HA!)I dont remember who..but someone said you aint gettin out free.."ya gotta pay your dues..so to speak"...at the time im thinkin screw you..course I didnt type it..lol
DUES PAID and then some..gimme back some dam change please!..(thank you whoever said that)

I tried to think of ANY way I could taper..but I was bound to that fuckin Dr and when he is tellin me NO..when I started he said 6mnths to a year at the most and now he says..naw..not a good idea..I felt I had to do what I had to do...I remember when Mark told me.."they got you now" when I said I was goin to a clinic..I thought man f*ck him too..the hell they do..but its soooooo true!

Aint got me now Mark! (Thank you!!)



I know im not done..not even close..but im better...I cant look back..and I cant look too far ahead..and Im still hour by hour..but I know day by day is coming...when my head bogs down..I MAKE myself find somethin good
like..shit atleast I aint nodding off with a cig in my hand burnin my myself and everything around me...the first week when I couldnt get out of my bathtub..because i was too stupid to figure out how?? I laughed,well a laugh,cry(wooo..crazy moodswings..lol)..I had to laugh..what the hell else am I gonna do sit down and die..regroup and try again..or go back on the shit that did this to me..
now that truely is not an option..Not a chance in hell would I walk back in that clinic and hang my head to that lieing bastard Dr..fuck you and your 98% fail..make that 97% Bitch!
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Shelly » Thu Nov 10, 2011 4:34 pm

and really substrate I could give 2fucks if you believe me..for real..
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby mimiluv » Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:18 pm

WOW!!! WTG, Shelly!! Be strong and keep us posted on your progress.. Be good to yourself!!
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Substrate » Fri Nov 11, 2011 9:31 am

Sorry Dude...oops, I mean Gal,
I just find it hard to stomach that anyone could voluntarily CT off 320 Mg of methadone! It just set off my bullshit detector big time...sorry.
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Fri Nov 11, 2011 10:19 am

Shelly wrote:I couldnt handle dope sick tryin do a taper off vics!


But a cold turkey jump (smoke all the pot you want, it doesn't count) off 320mg of methadone was "dealable" with Ibuprofen?


You are one of a kind Shelly, no doubt about it- :clap:
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Shelly » Fri Nov 11, 2011 3:51 pm

LMAO..I didnt word that right..
most of the symptons are dealable..and I mean..I cant see shit..with my glasses on..or off..I still sneeze..I still yawn..I still cant work more then 3-4 hours..I still get VERY confused at times...
I still cant eat anything unless its REAL bland..dry mashed potatoes..mostly..If its sweet..its toooo sweet..and no warning I wretch..if anythings in my tummy..(usually just water) its coming out..and sleep? I smoke myself into a coma..and I will get a few hours now..
THOSE symptons are dealable.

I didnt really wanna go into details about the first few weeks..I think it scares people..
But I sure can..
The 39 hours..I needed help to the tub from my bed..wich is 5feet away..and the only reason I moved to the tub was so my family could clean my bed and help me clean myself..if you catch my drift..the immodium..when I tried to put the bottle to my mouth..I dry heaved till I busted a vessle in my eye..
now after the 39 hours..not that everything was great..but I could crawl out bed and stand up (well hunched over) and walk to the bathroom myself..and after THOSE 39 hours..I thanked God for every fucking step!!
One day..my hand bumped the edge of the table..and the pain dropped me to my knees..that was around day 8
I think..
the stuff I smashed..in one of my extreme anger fits..shakes my head..
the things I said to the people that were holding my head and hand during all this..wow..
I had music in my ears LOUD all the time..because I heard people talking to me..and im a music lover and think it helps your moods

One of a kind? not even close...I know several people going through a higher dose detox then me..because the doc wont ween them faster then 1mg a week..know how long that takes on a high dose? .me either I cant add right now..Im still refuckingtarted
and my mouth is HORRIBLE..lol sorry..

I came here on day 33..I have several more stories like that...I didnt stop journaling because I wanted to..I stopped because it took every ounce of energy I had to put one foot in from of the other most of those days..and I mean that literally..


But I guess that is right..its all dealable..cause I delt with it..an I still am..
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby dmbas » Sun Nov 13, 2011 7:53 am

i really hope you keep postn shelly, because readn your posts make me feel that my problems are minimal, ohh and give marry j a big kiss for me. she [marry] reminds me of mcdonalds, startn my day with a smile, or is that duncon donuts sayn. whatever, keep on keepn on. peace.
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Sun Nov 13, 2011 3:16 pm

Just for the record-

I hope no one stumbles upon this thread and thinks they can jump off their methadone clinic, and be passed the acute phase of detox after a mere "39 hours".

Shelly is def a one of a kind lady... again- :clap:

Not being able to get to the bathroom, heaving till you burst a blood vessel and no sleep usually lasts much, MUCH longer than just a couple of days, when your forced to ct off high doses of methadone. Not being able to hold down water, or electrolytes for several days, coupled with the added stresses of a CT detox can lead to heart attack and death. That's why most jails these days will give inmates access to their methadone, or at least provide them with a half assed taper.

Heroin addicts? They don't get ANY special treatment when they go to jail. But even the acute phase of a heroin detox lasts longer than 2 days.


And now it's time for a public service announcement-


People...

You CAN beat your methadone clinic, but PLEASE don't try jumping off a high dose. A good slow taper down to 5mg or less is the only way to go-
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Shelly » Sun Nov 13, 2011 11:58 pm

One more time..just because YOU Mark..dont know anyone who has done it doesnt mean Im one of a kind!
I know SEVERAL who have done it..and they have done it a few times..now that to me is unbelieveable..the unbelieveable part is...living through some shit like this..and getting back on it..
I know 3 people who have died ON methadone in the last 6mnths..
I was more scared ON the shit then I ever was in detox!!(wasnt exactly informed)
The second week I was on it..I was in the ER for an extreme anxiety attack my throat closed shut..
I slept sitting up the whole 17mnths I couldnt breath if I layed all the way down..
I would just randomly "fall asleep"..(you dont nod on mdone..my doc told me!!.HA!!!) usually while I was smoking..burns everywhere..including ME and I mean bad ones..
I had some kind of seizure..where I was awake and my whole body just fell out..and I couldnt move for a few seconds..which seemed like a lifetime..or death time


My new roomie..(old party friend I ran into at the clinic) became my roomie..when she found her roommate dead..guess what from..yea thats right methadone..
last month she told her fam doc..her nose wouldnt stop running..he told her to go buy some sudafed..its that time of year..cold etc..she told the mdone Doc..he upped her 20mg..she is now on 390mgs of methadone from a pretty light oxy habit..

I didnt get it at first..but as my head is clearing it makes more sense..he gets 100bucks more a month from methadone..He was the only Dr in this area that you could get it from..without going into treatment..rehab..etc..
I want to say most of the people there are on high doses..but I dont know for sure..but the people I do know their doses..they are well above where I was..
I went there to get on sub..he said I really needed to be on methadone..he can write scripts for sub..but he doesnt think you should give a take home drug to people who abuse them..well hell that made sense to me at the time
I tell ya what..if something ever happens and I end up back on it..Ill die on it..cause I will never ever ever ever do that again..

and you seem to think that after that 39 hours..I was out in my back yard doing backflips..I wasnt..I was able to take a few steps to get myself to the tub/toilet..and after what I just went through I was HAPPY that I could..dont try to minimize what the fuck I am living through!!!!! And dont fucking "mere 39 hours" me.I said THOSE WERE THE WORST...I was FAR from done!!!!and If I gotta Thank God for beineg able to take a step..I dont know that I would call that GONE..
Omg my clothes HURT to wear them ..chills so fucking hard I would have an orgasm outa nowhere (im not complaing much bout that one..lol)
you must have missed the part where I said I STILL wretch..holy hell! this is day 36..not HOUR 36!! I have to smoke TONS of weed just to eat something BLAND
and I dont think I said I was sleeping..I said I smoke myself into a coma..and get a few hours NOW..actually last night I got 45min..so ya..its not a great day..and im a wee bit bitchy
I havnt smoked weed in 20 years and I smoke like Ive been smoking it for 20 years...Sometimes I feel like Im fighting for my life..so excuse the hell outa me for focusing on every little GOOD thing I can and If I sound like Im doing too good for you!!!!

and for real..if weed doesnt count..what fucking comfort meds can you actually get in yourself in the begining PLEASE TELL ME..Ill tell everyone I fucking KNOW....
wanna know how MOST detox from the clinic I went to...they quit paying their bill!! Yep..he will ween you QUICK LIKE its easier then arguing with the fucking Dr. I had a 2week vacation coming that I planned for a year..the day before I was to leave..they finally approved my take homes..I almost had to cancel it
I was real tired of letting my kids down..
I guess I dug deep and found my fighter..


ANd NOW you say there is a way to taper at a clinic..come on..tell me what you got..ILL tell everyone there!!
You didnt say that shit to me..you said.."They got you now..just go with it"..and sent me a link to some fucking forum where everyone thinks the shit is great and if anything seems off...UP YOUR DOSE....so for real Piss off..
but before you do..
lemme give you some serious MAD props for detoxing on a jailhouse floor and I truely mean that!I woulda sold my first born for bail money before I could have handled that! I was in a king size bed with 10pillows and garden tub with my family there holding me together!





Now..with that said..He is VERY VERY right about just random jumping from high levels most long term addicts have serious issues..heart liver..etc..
People have severe pain issues..BEFORE they became addicts..I didnt..I just liked being high as fuck!!
and to tell ya the truth..I really didnt know you could actually die in detox from methadone..well I did I just always assumed other shit was involved..benzos bad health etc.....Knowledge is power..If you can taper then HELL YES thats the way to go!


*lays a big ol wet one on MaryJ for dmbass* I couldnt do it without her! but dayummm when did THAT shit start costing so much! thanks for the SUPPORT!...

Day 36..DONE!..come on 37!
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Sub zero » Wed Nov 16, 2011 12:35 pm

Substrate wrote:Sorry Dude...oops, I mean Gal,
I just find it hard to stomach that anyone could voluntarily CT off 320 Mg of methadone! It just set off my bullshit detector big time...sorry.


What really surprised me is that an MD would treat a Vicodin dependency with high dose methadone...that's criminal IMO...Vicodin isn't shit compared to methadone...the OP would have been much better off just kicking the Vic habit.
Methadone free since 8/15/2010...Sub free since 9/28/10...Alcohol free since 10/4/16
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Que » Mon Dec 05, 2011 2:48 am

Let me say one thing 39 hours omg :lol: I myself took 12 days to get methadone out of my system because the long halflife of the drug.Now at day 22 PAWS is finally started to lighten up. I was on 100 mg for 4 years with a 2 year vic/oc habit prior I too kept a journal heres my first week

Day 1-7

I remember these 7 days was the worst part of the detox period.I started out with the worst pain that I ever felt in my life! I was having aches and pains all over my body and these unbearable leg cramps nothing like I've ever experinced in my life.My legs would jerk and kick uncontroeable while laying in bed or sitting in a chair .During the same time I started having these ungodly cold sweats with goose bumps all over my body and sweat running down from my forehead.I never could get warm no matter hom many layers of clothes that I put on .I would try to stay awake as long as I could but in the end the pain was so unbearable and I would end up going to bed and sleeping alot during this fist week.What little time that I was awake I had no appettie and what little food I did eat would only run back out like water ...Diarrhea!! Omg it was like everthing I experince while using dope was payback time tenfold.I stayed warm all the time while I was on methadone now I'm freezing all the time.I had constipation most of the time I was on dope now everthing was coming out with noooo trouble.I had loads of enegry and now it was all could do walk for 10 mins.Sneezing all the time ,eyes watering ,yawning .heavy depression and thoughts of suiciide.I was thinking lord kill me please I cant get thru this.I completely felt like I lost my best friend.

So you see I had a complete different experience coming off methadone.
2 1/2 year hydro/oxy habit
4 years on methadone
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:05 am

Hi Que-

Welcome


22 days is awesome.


Why don't you start your own thread?
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Que » Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:40 am

Thanks 12 stepper!! Let me tell you its been pure hell but everythings getting better.

I can share my story I guess if it can help others.

Let me get everything together and I'll start a new thread...Later
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Re: Rockin The Detox...

Postby Substrate » Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:57 am

That's a great idea..this ones pretty dead..and it sounds like you have some experience others could benefit by. I couldn't get off Meth and went to sub:(
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