Nobody posting here...

This fourm is for people struggling to get off methadone. If you are a methadone advocate then please PISS OFF!

Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby PsychDocMD » Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:50 am

I had issues with drugs in my past as well.

I watched my mother suffer from severe mental illness, and eventually die due to long term alcoholism.

I wanted to go into the mental health field almost as long as I can remember. I desperately wanted to help people who had suffered through a lot of the same things I had. Right around 40% of medical students suffer from some form of mental health or addiction issue themselves.

I have had patients bring up ideas they had regarding their treatment that I was not familiar with. I immediately looked up information on my laptop while they were still sitting across from me.

My main priority is connecting with and *truly* helping my patients. I will do whatever it takes to help the people around me in any way that I can--in my private or professional life.
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:09 am

PsychDocMD wrote:

Are there any serious adverse effects with methadone?
When taken properly as prescribed long-term methadone treatment causes no adverse effects to any of the body’s organ systems.




Speaking from my own experiences, I'd have to say there was some serious adverse effects going on with my mind during my methadone years.

Ever see that Adam Sandler movie "Click"? Where he hits the fast forward button and his body just kinda goes along emotionless, and then later he can't remember what happened?

That's pretty much how I spent a decade of my life.

Methadone sucked the life outta me. I was spending more time sleeping than awake, and while awake I was puttering around doing stuff, that I can't remember anything about now that I'm opiate free. It's like I was totally wasted on opiates, but at the time, had no clue of how stoned I was-

I also spent a lot of time suffering from varying states of withdrawal in need of a dose increase that no doctor wanted to give me-


Take my word for it, methadone is NOT a harmless drug, as some people would have you believe.
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby cheeps » Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:30 am

Not a 12 stepper wrote:
PsychDocMD wrote:

Are there any serious adverse effects with methadone?
When taken properly as prescribed long-term methadone treatment causes no adverse effects to any of the body’s organ systems.




Speaking from my own experiences, I'd have to say there was some serious adverse effects going on with my mind during my methadone years.

Ever see that Adam Sandler movie "Click"? Where he hits the fast forward button and his body just kinda goes along emotionless, and then later he can't remember what happened?

That's pretty much how I spent a decade of my life.

Methadone sucked the life outta me. I was spending more time sleeping than awake, and while awake I was puttering around doing stuff, that I can't remember anything about now that I'm opiate free. It's like I was totally wasted on opiates, but at the time, had no clue of how stoned I was-

I also spent a lot of time suffering from varying states of withdrawal in need of a dose increase that no doctor wanted to give me-


Take my word for it, methadone is NOT a harmless drug, as some people would have you believe.


Yeah Mark....last time I checked the brain was in an organ system.


Psycho Doc....stick around and READ....you might really learn something that will help you in your career. :mrgreen:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby xenofears » Thu Jan 31, 2013 8:42 am

Not a 12 stepper wrote:
PsychDocMD wrote:

Are there any serious adverse effects with methadone?
When taken properly as prescribed long-term methadone treatment causes no adverse effects to any of the body’s organ systems.




Speaking from my own experiences, I'd have to say there was some serious adverse effects going on with my mind during my methadone years.

Ever see that Adam Sandler movie "Click"? Where he hits the fast forward button and his body just kinda goes along emotionless, and then later he can't remember what happened?

That's pretty much how I spent a decade of my life.

Methadone sucked the life outta me. I was spending more time sleeping than awake, and while awake I was puttering around doing stuff, that I can't remember anything about now that I'm opiate free. It's like I was totally wasted on opiates, but at the time, had no clue of how stoned I was-

I also spent a lot of time suffering from varying states of withdrawal in need of a dose increase that no doctor wanted to give me-


Take my word for it, methadone is NOT a harmless drug, as some people would have you believe.


I could say the same about Subs, and Klonopin. There are entire years I can barely remember. I was so stoned. But I didn't realize it, I thought it was having no major negative effect. Now that I am clear headed I look back snd cringe with embarrassment.

There is a methadone clinic by my office. Maybe I wish I could take some pictures. If you think methadone is harmless you have obviously never been to a clinic.
Sub free 3 years. Klonopin free 1 year. 100% drug free. Feeling somewhat ok. :thumbup:
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby syd » Thu Jan 31, 2013 10:56 am

:wave:

I was on mmt, for 8 yrs. Tapered down to 2mg & jumped off, over 6 yrs ago. Life is goood.
Anything you'd like to know, just ask.

As to your question of the brain returning to baseline. Impossible to tell, unless you had imaging done prior to drug use, then after. Sure, you can be measured against the average. But you may not have been average, before addiction :lol: . The brain does some repair, during tapering.

If what you're asking is, "will I ever be normal again?"....as a psychiatrist, you should know, "normal" is quite subjective. Personally speaking, I had some work to do, to attain inner peace.
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:18 pm

I guess I didn't know your background 12 stepper I thought it was more to do with booze from your name? Same with you Syd. I took methadone for a while after a surgery and it was hard getting off that. I was taking about 100 mgs of meth plus 3-4 30 roxi's for about 6 months. The doc just stopped me cold turkey one day. No taper nothing. I didn't know why I felt so shitty for so long. That was my first go round with opiate use. It was horrible! I'd get medics to get me morphine or opium over in Afghanistan. They had some good shit over there but when I came home all I could get was hydro's and someT3's and they didn't work too well, then I got put on subs by the VA docs after I told him my whole story, and the rest is history. How subs aren't addictive or are a non-narcotic alternative to opiates, blah, blah, blah.
Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:25 pm

I should state I didn't start out on that much it just escalated to that, and it was more about a year, year and a half total after the surgeries there were three in that time frame. I got hit pretty good over there. Hell I was so jacked up at that time back then you couldn't kill me, at least I thought! Hell just feed me some Afghanistan opium and I'd stroll right into NW Pakistan and take the Taliban on all by myself! Hell there was a few times......oh never mind! I'm babbling now sorry dudes.
Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby cheeps » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:46 pm

Unhookedfromsub wrote:I should state I didn't start out on that much it just escalated to that, and it was more about a year, year and a half total after the surgeries there were three in that time frame. I got hit pretty good over there. Hell I was so jacked up at that time back then you couldn't kill me, at least I thought! Hell just feed me some Afghanistan opium and I'd stroll right into NW Pakistan and take the Taliban on all by myself! Hell there was a few times......oh never mind! I'm babbling now sorry dudes.



Mine was pain management related too but I'm just as much an addict as the next.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:07 pm

cheeps wrote:
Unhookedfromsub wrote:I should state I didn't start out on that much it just escalated to that, and it was more about a year, year and a half total after the surgeries there were three in that time frame. I got hit pretty good over there. Hell I was so jacked up at that time back then you couldn't kill me, at least I thought! Hell just feed me some Afghanistan opium and I'd stroll right into NW Pakistan and take the Taliban on all by myself! Hell there was a few times......oh never mind! I'm babbling now sorry dudes.



Mine was pain management related too but I'm just as much an addict as the next.


Yeah I think we all are. That is exactly how mine started. But really I had other issues going on I didn't know how to cope with and hell opiates made it so much easier to do!
Getting older, losing friends, seeing shit no person should ever have to witness, etc, etc, etc.... I had serious anger issues going on, I was pissed off at the whole world at one time and subs really did mellow me out. Too much! I was losing my edge so to say and I couldn't hold onto it. That is why I was medically discharged from the service. Plus actively using was heavily frowned upon and it was a dirty little secret that was known but never spoken out loud. There were many like me, just burned the fuck out with year after year of war at the end of my time. Some turned to booze, some to dope (which is not hard to find in Afghanistan, especially with the right interpreter, they're like cabbies in New York they know all the right places!) and some guys just off'd themselves. Sad it really is.
Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

02/08/15 - 02/14/15 hopefully!
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 01, 2013 1:29 am

There were many like me, just burned the fuck out with year after year of war at the end of my time. Some turned to booze, some to dope (which is not hard to find in Afghanistan, especially with the right interpreter, they're like cabbies in New York they know all the right places!) and some guys just off'd themselves. Sad it really is.


fuck................................. :punchballs:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby PsychDocMD » Fri Feb 01, 2013 5:29 am

I blacked out on Xanax while I was still technically on methadone clinic property in July of 2011. I was on 160mg daily, and I was subsequently forced to do a 7 day detox--essentially cold turkey.

It is now 18 months later, and I am still not feeling back to "normal." I often feel very nervous & anxious, and my sleep is very light and not refreshing.

After I was initially kicked off of the methadone program I did not sleep for more than 60 continuous minutes for over 4 1/2 months! :crazy: I didn't sleep a single wink during the first 3 weeks, and I had to be hospitalized for psychosis.

I can definitely relate to the posts above. When I was on ultra high dose methadone I felt as though I was in a perpetual state of inebriation, and that my life was a dream like blur--even though I didn't realize it at the time. I would make rude jokes to strangers in public, and I would walk around downtown loudly singing songs at the top of my lungs. Thinking back on it I feel so embarrassed that I want to put my head in the sand! I can't believe I was so fucked up on the methadone, yet at the time I felt sober and clear-headed. Now that I am opioid free I can't even imagine walking around in public screaming the lyrics to songs!

I have anxiety, depression, and I have no motivation to do anything to better my life! I just feel nervous, and completely sapped of all my ambition and zest for life! At least I was happy on the methadone... :gaah:

How much longer will this last? How much longer will I feel this way?

Part of the trouble is that I am only 26 years old, and I was on the methadone since I was a teenager. I don't even remember how I felt before it!

Perhaps I was always this depressed and nervous, and that is what caused me to start abusing drugs in the first place?

Sometimes I will buy dried poppy pods at the floral store and make tea just so I can feel "normal" for a few hours! :crazy:

Medical science isn't advanced to the point where we even fully understand what, if any, changes long term opioid abuse has on the brain. PAWS, EDS?!?! I have seen numerous articles written by AMA journal contributers that say people on MMT for long periods of time should just stay on it indefinitely!

WILL MY BRAIN EVER GO BACK TO NORMAL!?!?
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby cheeps » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:09 am

WILL MY BRAIN EVER GO BACK TO NORMAL!?!?




Don't know Pinocchio??? :o :o :suicide:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Justjules13 » Sat Feb 02, 2013 5:47 am

Pick a story...any story...maybe I do meth...or sub....or poppy pods....or I'm just a sniveling little punk with too much time on my hands..
Get a life dude!
J
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby PsychDocMD » Sat Feb 02, 2013 4:08 pm

However, it is my opinion that people on high doses of very strong or long-acting opioids like methadone or Suboxone for long periods of time are in a category by themselves. Methadone/Suboxone are so potent and long acting, and they are constantly occupying the opioid receptors in the brain. They can cause serious down regulation of opioid receptors, blunt your sensitivity to endogenous opioids/endorphins, throw off your dopamine system, and perhaps permanently cause your body to stop producing natural endorphins!

When you are taking in artificial opioids then your brain stops producing its own.

Methadone is VERY potent, and the half life is so long that it is literally always occupying your opioid receptors.

That means that people on long term MMT or SMT have been shutting off their brain's natural production of endorphins for YEARS at a time! Their brains didn't get any "downtime" without opioids like the brains of people who were using SAOs! Who knows if it ever starts back up again? There is no way to test for a chemical imbalance.

Also, consider how potent methadone and Suboxone are. They are much, much stronger than your brain's natural opioids. After saturating your brain's opioid receptors with such strong opioids for years on end who knows if your natural endorphins will even have the same effect as they once did?

I am pretty sure many of us were depressed before drugs, but they almost certainly made it worse.

Taking much stronger synthetic versions of your brain's natural chemicals for years on end can't be fucking good!

I still feel like garbage 18 months after stopping MMT....

SSRIs don't really seem to help me....they just make me feel even more spacey & out of it....

Can anyone else relate? I want to hear what you guys think because I accidentally posted this in someone else's thread before..
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby cheeps » Sat Feb 02, 2013 6:04 pm

Winnie.....you are a selfish stupid person that won't take "NO" for an answer. You insist on making this about you, You, and YOU.

Well....FUCK YOU.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby PsychDocMD » Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:01 am

I'm just looking for answers....

I want to feel better so bad....

I've been off for ~1.5 years, and I still feel headachey, devoid of motivation, and depressed... :banghead:
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Justjules13 » Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:17 am

How many times, by how many people do you need to be told to fuck off. We don't believe a word out of your sick little mouth. You pegged us all for idiots...pawns for your little game. Quite frankly your boring me now....move along scumbag.
J
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby PsychDocMD » Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:23 am

No wonder you are back on MMT, jules!

You are a week willed little girl!
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby Justjules13 » Sun Feb 03, 2013 7:37 am

PsychDocMD wrote:No wonder you are back on MMT, jules!

You are a week willed little girl!



It's spelled "weak" asshole. Thought you where top in your class?? :lol:
Your showing your true colors...keep it up! Are you going to call me a "junky" next you slime ball? :clap:
I bet your living at home with mommy...right? That's ok, mommy will always tell you how "special" you are, even though you have no friends and you have to make up personias to mask the fact you have NO LIFE what so ever. :thumbdown:
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Nobody posting here...

Postby PsychDocMD » Sun Feb 03, 2013 8:00 am

Justjules13 wrote:
PsychDocMD wrote:No wonder you are back on MMT, jules!

You are a week willed little girl!



It's spelled "weak" asshole. Thought you where top in your class?? :lol:
Your showing your true colors...keep it up! Are you going to call me a "junky" next you slime ball? :clap:
I bet your living at home with mommy...right? That's ok, mommy will always tell you how "special" you are, even though you have no friends and you have to make up personias to mask the fact you have NO LIFE what so ever. :thumbdown:


personias?

Do you mean "personas" you stupid bitch?

where top in your class??

It's supposed to be "were" you stupid MMT junky!

Your showing your true colors...keep it up!


I bet your living at home with mommy...right?

Supposed to be "you're" you stupid old broad!

I most certainly was in the top of my class in high-school, and my spelling and grammar is about 100x better than yours! We all make mistakes when we've been up all night, and it's fucking 7AM!

I've fucking had it with you; You're a miserable fucking MMT addict with nothing better to do than follow me around and harass me!
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