Tapering Methadone

This fourm is for people struggling to get off methadone. If you are a methadone advocate then please PISS OFF!

Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Sat Jan 17, 2015 8:45 pm

Oh baby.....it's sooo hard but YOU WILL do this!!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Sat Jan 17, 2015 8:51 pm

I'm sooooo sorry about grandpa.....I just found out my sis in laws mom passed yesterday.....death is so sad but it was time for them to go. We can't ask to be born or to not die. I know you feel bad cause you weren't there. That's a real bummer if you don't mind me putting like that . No humor meant. Sweetie.....it's going o be okay. You may be sick of crying and feeling useless but I PROMISE it will go away. I wish I could wipe your future clean but I can't. I can only tell you that one day yu will look back and be so fucking glad you kept plugging away at being clean. :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Dee » Sun Jan 18, 2015 4:16 pm

Aww sweetie... I'm so sorry to hear about your grandpa.
I know it's tough right now but I promise it DOES get better. Energy is the last thing to get back. The 3 in 1 vitamin zinc, cal, n Magnessium really helped with my RLS. Bananas help too. I still take night time sleep aids to help me w sleep (but I've always suffered from insomnia). Zzzquil really helps; or even NyQuil. Tylenol pm's, Legatrin pm, unisom... Try it for sleep.
Take the vitamins and drink protein shakes. It really does help.
Do u have a doctor you can go to about your insomnia? Don't mention why you have it... But tell them about your anxiety and sleep issues. Tell them about your grandpa and blame it on that if you need to.
I was lucky where as I didn't have a lot of stomach issues. I'm so sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else.
How's your boyfriend doing? I know my detox got very frustrating for my husband; which caused me to feel a lot of guilt. I was sick for a damn year pretty much but he hung in there, and I'm sure your bf will too.
Keep venting to us if you have no one else to talk with. Try the OTC vitamins and NSAID pain relievers.
Hang in there... You've come SO far already.
Xoxo Dee
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Jan 26, 2015 7:39 pm

Pip? How you doing honey?
I have good days and shit days too...
I understand. I've had day dreams about getting back on meth. But I don't want to be that slave again..but Jesus girl, I understand.
It sucks to be a addict.
Just thinking about you :kiss:
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:00 am

Hey guys,

Bad news is that, Long story short, I've been having severe pain in one of my teeth. My dentist last year made a crown too high, and now I'm suffering the consequences. Good news is that I finally started seeing good days. You guys were right that better days would be around the corner. I can finally sleep and get through the day without hating everything with every fiber of my being. I mean shit's not GOOD yet, but I don't feel that awful tired/restless/goddamn uncomfortable feeling that was cursing me. I still have a huge lack of motivation and I know this process will take a long time, but it's nice to finally feel somewhat normal. I mean, normal is an overstatement.

But yeah, sorry for not checking in more. Things were really bad for a while.

Jules is your bf with you yet? I thought he got in on the 28th if I remember correctly. I hope you guys are enjoying yourselves :kiss:

Cheeps I'm
Really sorry about your sis in law's mom. Death is shitty. And it's a total mind-fuck in WD because I don't feel like my brain is processing it correctly. I know there's no right way to grieve but I don't know. My biggest regret is being a huge fuck up and fucking up my life so hard, I mean, there's nothing like feeling like you've let down your ancestors... Even if they don't know what you've done.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Sun Feb 01, 2015 4:58 pm

Cheeps I'm
Really sorry about your sis in law's mom. Death is shitty. And it's a total mind-fuck in WD because I don't feel like my brain is processing it correctly. I know there's no right way to grieve but I don't know. My biggest regret is being a huge fuck up and fucking up my life so hard, I mean, there's nothing like feeling like you've let down your ancestors... Even if they don't know what you've done.



Stop that, regrets are over. I'm pretty damn sure our ancestors had their addictions too. :spank: :spank: :spank:

Grieving is continuous. :kiss:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Mon Feb 16, 2015 11:01 am

Hey guys :D

Sorry cheeps, I know that was a wrong way to think. I guess I just wish I was in a better place right now. And everyone DOES have their own demons :twisted:

I guess I've developed some kind of nerve pain in my face. It hurts and it's shitty. So the specialist wanted to put me on a medication and I didn't even get it filled because it would be something I'd have to taper. So I'm just living with the pain. I guess I'm lucky to be alive at all! Some days are hard though. I feel like I'm empty inside and that I'll always be broken. I feel like my brain will never heal and I'll be stuck living a half-ass life forever. But I really am trying hard to just live and take whatever shit ends up in my path. Seems like this year has been particularly rough.

Anyway, I hope you guys had a great weekend and take care! :D
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Mon Feb 16, 2015 5:05 pm

You will get through it and one day...I PROMISE...you'll feel good! I did PIP....Mark did too. You will have those days soon!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Tue Feb 17, 2015 3:50 am

Oh yes...

But PIP, you need to put your methadone adventures into a time perspective.

I'm not sure about your personal history, but most people spend years teaching their bodies to depend on methadone, and then get upset when they can't recover in a matter of weeks. Then the weeks turn to months, and you still feel like crap...

Believe me, I know how you feel.

I suffered with serious pain issues along with the methadone detox, went through the depression, and anxiety...

And I found that after counting months, and then years, I realized I had been slowly improving, especially once I started eating a healthy diet-

It's a long road recovering from methadone. Just keep moving in the right direction, and your enjoy better days :kiss:
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Fri Feb 20, 2015 10:06 am

Hey guys. 8-)

Man I woke up on the wrong motherfucking side of the bed today. I was yelling and cursing about my life :lol: Stepper, do you think the pain could be hyperalgesia from the long term methadone use? I'm fucking tired of hurting. It's putting me in a horrible mood. I don't expect to get better soon but I sure am feeling sorry for myself. Those goddamn methadone clinics are disgusting. I gotta go to work but where did you experience pain? Is there hope or will I hurt for years? Feeling really defeated right now :puppy-dog:

I hope you guys had a nice week
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Fri Feb 20, 2015 10:11 am

P.S. Thanks for the encouragement as always. You guys are the best best best!
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 20, 2015 12:28 pm

Back Pain, muscle pain!!! Everywhere!! But PIP....each month it lightened up....where are you hurting?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Fri Feb 20, 2015 7:44 pm

cheeps, I thought something was wrong with my tooth. It hurt so bad I was crying. Got X-rays, dentist and specialist both told me it was fine. Specialist prescribed tegretol, which I didn't get filled because it's another med I'd have to taper. Said it was some type of nerve pain. Maybe from stress. Maybe WD. Who knows. I'm feeling very depressed and defeated and life is very unfulfilling. But what can ya do. I hope you have a nice weekend.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 20, 2015 8:57 pm

aw baby....do you have TJM? The jaw issue? Do you still have any wisdom teeth? Have you had a root canal? I had a root canal years ago...and the fucker missed a fifth canal in a big molar. Had to do it AGAIN! Are you clinching teeth at night from stress. I tap mine and have to make a point not to. Anxiety drives it.

Something isn't right.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Feb 21, 2015 7:04 pm

cheeps, last year I had a root canal retreatment and then another root canal right behind it. The fuckers lost my crown AND made it too high. The crown was too high for 5 months. They thought that's what was causing the pain and drilled it down. But the pain was still bad. The dentist and specialist both did X-rays and it looked fine to both of them. So that's when the specialist said there's something wrong with my nerves in my face. She said she could tell I grind my teeth at night, but insurance doesn't cover a mouth guard and it would be hundreds of dollars. This is the second month I've had this pain. It comes and goes, but it's bad today. I don't know if I want to see a neurologist or not. I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed at once when I was in high school. That was actually my first experience with opiates and I knew I was already doomed. I loved them so fucking much.

My depression is off the charts. Doc prescribed me Effexor, but I read nightmare stories about Effexor WD. So I'm white knuckling it because I'm terrified of medication at this point. I am so sad, like just typing this I am in tears. My bf is losing patience with me. He got really mad at me last night because I'm like a zombie. I don't contribute enough to household chores or anything and he's overworked at his job (as am I). He felt really bad for being mean to me, but I feel like he's going to give up on me and I'm so scared to lose him. He's my best friend and we've been through hell and back together. And I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I love him. I'm sure it's hard for him to see me like this because he must feel so helpless. We've been together over 7 yrs. I feel so lost and worthless right now. I don't know how you guys dealt with this awful recovery for years. I've only been off methadone 2 months and it seems like every day just drags on. New days, different bullshit. I'm getting impatient to just be ok. I don't remember a time when I was truly truly happy and carefree with life. Everything is a burden and I don't know...I don't know. I'm lost.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Feb 21, 2015 7:09 pm

TL;DR: fuck my life 2k15 :lol:
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Posts: 225
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:58 am

Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Sat Feb 21, 2015 10:14 pm

PrettyInPain wrote:TL;DR: fuck my life 2k15 :lol:




Pip....you've only been off two small months...this is the PAW period that sucks so bad. Every day that you can bank is another day of healing in that brain. Ask the fucking dr for Celexa instead...it may help and I've tapered off of it a few times. You will get better soon. You've got to quit being so hard on yourself. You are walking, working, and getting by. I promise you it will turn soon....it sucks!!! It sucks like no other!!!

Fuck the evil methadone!!! Never go back never!! It only gets worse if you do. :kiss: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Feb 21, 2015 11:37 pm

Thank you for always being there for me and listening to me whine. I was laughing reading the this or that thread in ye olde war zone.... you guys crack me up! Then I felt guilty because I've been over here whining for 20 pages :shifty:

Did the Celexa help you, cheeps? I've been on a lot of antidepressants in the past and I've never found relief with any. My psych doc who prescribed the Effexor is really good about involving me in the medication decisions, which I appreciate. She has me on Trazadone for sleep, which I'm also scared to try. Like I'm literal chicken shit to try anything because of this methadone WD. I have another appt with her next month, so I will ask about swapping to Celexa.

You never, ever have to worry about me going back on that nasty methadone shit! It makes me so sick to my stomach even thinking about it. :suicide: I have always been so hard on myself, I'm like my own worst enemy. Thanks for listening to me through all this. It's been really lonely and shitty, and I know you guys have already been in my shoes. I applaud you all for getting through this. It takes some serious strength and patience!
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Posts: 225
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Sun Feb 22, 2015 11:08 am

PrettyInPain wrote:Thank you for always being there for me and listening to me whine. I was laughing reading the this or that thread in ye olde war zone.... you guys crack me up! Then I felt guilty because I've been over here whining for 20 pages :shifty:

Did the Celexa help you, cheeps? I've been on a lot of antidepressants in the past and I've never found relief with any. My psych doc who prescribed the Effexor is really good about involving me in the medication decisions, which I appreciate. She has me on Trazadone for sleep, which I'm also scared to try. Like I'm literal chicken shit to try anything because of this methadone WD. I have another appt with her next month, so I will ask about swapping to Celexa.

You never, ever have to worry about me going back on that nasty methadone shit! It makes me so sick to my stomach even thinking about it. :suicide: I have always been so hard on myself, I'm like my own worst enemy. Thanks for listening to me through all this. It's been really lonely and shitty, and I know you guys have already been in my shoes. I applaud you all for getting through this. It takes some serious strength and patience!



Fucking whine all you want. Remember...you are doing the HARDEST THING you will EVER do in your life. It takes guts to do this...guts that Al Pacino may not have, guts that Stallone probably doesn't have and guts that you DO have. This is sheer hell...methadone is fucking EVIL, SELFISH, and THE WORST HELL you will ever feel!! :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :deadhorse: :wired: :wired: :wired: :wired: :wired: :wired: :wired: :wired: :wiggle: :blowme:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Sun Feb 22, 2015 2:49 pm

Pip,

I was in an accident. I fractured my neck, and about a dozen other broken bones. My neck and back hurt the worst. I just couldn't sleep, either from restless legs, or just not being able to get comfortable enough to sleep, due to the pain.

I was able to get used to it over time and through determination, I've decided to carry on through even more painful conditions (like kidney stone attacks) without getting back on opiates...
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