Tapering Methadone

This fourm is for people struggling to get off methadone. If you are a methadone advocate then please PISS OFF!

Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Sat Dec 27, 2014 11:16 am

Justjules13 wrote:We are getting a "granny flat" behind someone's house for $1200 for the whole month of jan. I'll give you his info if it turns out to be a cool place. Who knows?..I found it thru craigslist, it could be a vacant lot !



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10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:24 am

13 day update:

I definitely don't feel good. My grandpa is dying and I might have the opportunity to fly out to the funeral, but I'm worried I won't be physically and mentally able to do this in my recovery. I feel so selfish but I don't know what to do.

Jules, I hope the flat you rented out is awesome! You seriously deserve lots of R&R for all your accomplishments :kiss:
It's supposed to snow here in the desert this week! I'm definitely excited as a full-time desert dweller, but I can understand that the grass is always greener.

I truly love you guys and appreciate the support. I hope you all had a great holiday.

And noots, thanks for piping in and the well wishes. I truly appreciate it. My mental health sucks right now and it doesn't help that it looks like I'm about to lose my grandpa, my last living grandparent. But I agree, it's important to just experience the emotions, good and bad, rather than numb them away. I hope you had a good holiday too.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Wed Dec 31, 2014 12:37 pm

Hey there Pip

We got snow here just slightly above the Phoenix valley today-


Don't feel guilty about being selfish.


Just put your own health, and detox first. That way, later when your feeling good again, and free of methadone, you can do more for others.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Justjules13 » Fri Jan 02, 2015 8:54 pm

Hi pip...
I swear we get tested in WD. I'm sorry to hear about your grandpa...but think about what HE would want. Everyone dies...it's just the timing. My dad would say to me "I'm dying", in July, and I'd say, "yeah, we all do at some point." Not to minimalize his death, but it's a inevitability for all of us...
He'd say "ya, your right". I used dealing with his death as a reason to relapse..and that wasn't fair to him.
I'm being tested too...I've got a cold and I'm stuck in the states for three months till I'm allowed home.
How you doing physically? I tire easily...but other than that, alls good. (Except this cough, headachy cold)
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Jan 03, 2015 12:19 am

Thank you for the support, guys. :kiss:

My grandpa is being transferred to a nursing home. I'm glad he's still alive, but sad his quality of life has deteriorated so drastically. We didn't think he'd make it, which is why my mom flew out there (she wanted to help her siblings either way though, she's very supportive).

I can't believe I've been off the methadone shit over half a month. Physically I just feel generally shitty, but nothing specific. Just uncomfortable. I try to distract myself with reading or drawing or watching videos. I should probably start exercising too. Get my brain to start re-wiring again. The depression is really bad. And I get pissed really easily. I dropped the body wash like 3 times in the same shower, and I had a tantrum that could beat a toddler's. :lol: Thank god my boyfriend was at work, cause that shit's embarrassing. I'm pretty mellow, but it's crazy how WD can give you mood swings and just generally fuck you up left and right. I just hope the depression doesn't last too long. I feel very lost and broken without a sense of purpose, and it sucks. I know it's not "me," but it feels real and I hate it.

Jules, why are you stuck in the states 3 months until you're allowed home?! Is everything ok?? I'm sorry you have a cold! There was some nasty shit going around that I had too, right when I jumped. Fun fun. I hope you feel better and I hope your situation works out. Are you in California or Hawaii now?

Stepper,
I certainly hope to pay it forward to anyone in need, whether it's friends, family, or strangers. You guys here at SS have all shown me how important it is to have people on your side and caring for you, even as strangers IRL.

Cheers to 2015, I hope it's a great year for all of us :cheers2:
Last edited by PrettyInPain on Sat Jan 03, 2015 12:39 am, edited 2 times in total.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Jan 03, 2015 12:33 am

Ahh I swear I suck at replying! I always leave stuff out on accident. Jules, I think being tired is part of WD. I tire easily too. It's no bueno. But yeah, it does seem like we get tested in WD. I've had a LOT of bad things happen since the jump. What's weird is that EVERY single time I'm in the car, "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve comes on. http://youtu.be/1lyu1KKwC74
I don't know if it's a sign or just a coincidence, but it's strange. Facing the inevitability of death sucks. I feel like it's a taboo subject, and all of us stay so busy and distracted all our lives until either we get terminal news or a loved one passes, then it hits us. I think that contributes to my depression too. I know it's cliche and gothy, but I've been wondering why we're here busting our butts to pay bills and just survive, hopefully have a good retirement, and just die. And no, "Bittersweet Symphony" didn't prompt that thought. :lol: but it is funny that I hear it every day. I am sure it was hard to lose your dad. I don't blame you for using during that time. A lot of us use during hard times. :(
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Posts: 225
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Jan 05, 2015 6:58 pm

I basically was an illegal alien in the Netherlands for the last 5 yrs...your only allowed to stay three months twice a yr....(three months here, three months there..etc...)
So I can't get "home" till the end of March. I'd planned on going home February 8th....so I'm kinda stranded. I'm working on finding a temp place here (Hawaii) or in Calif until march...
I hear you on the depression. I just don't want to be bothered. I don't want my BF even talking to me at times. I just want to be alone...then I'm bothered I'm alone..lol
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Dee » Thu Jan 08, 2015 12:30 pm

Hi everyone! Sorry I've been MIA for awhile... I'm 226 days off of methadone but have been on hydro's for a couple of months now :( It's been one thing after another between throwing my back out, dental work, migraines... Ugh, you name it. I'm worried that I'm gonna feel shitty when my latest script runs out however, I've limited myself to NO more than 2 pills a day so hopefully I'll be fine. I take 2 in the morning and if any pain persists later in the day, I just take Ibprofren. I go days without taking anything... Not because I'm comfortable or pain free, but to test myself to make sure I can without any issues.
Pip... Girl I am SO proud of you!!! You've come such a long way and have busted your ass to get off that shit. Congratulations :clap:
How are you feeling now and what day are you on? The first month or two can be difficult at times... It came in waves for me. Some days were better than others. I felt my best when I started a daily routine at the gym. I slept better and just generally felt better all the way around. I haven't been there since I threw my back out in November but I'm gonna force myself to start going again. I would definitely recommend some sort of exercise although I'm sure it feels impossible at times. How's your grandpa doing? So sorry you have to deal with that. How's your boyfriend holding up?
Again, I'm so proud of you and SO happy for you that you made it through to the other side!!!
How are you Jules? Being "stuck" in Hawaii... Well, I can certainly think of worse spots to be stuck in but, there's no place like home when you're not feeling 100%. Did you taper off of the subs yet? I hope you are doing well!!
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Fri Jan 09, 2015 12:57 am

Damn Jules, sorry to hear you're stuck. Is your bf with you yet? I hope everything works out okay. I'm sure it will be tedious to be away from home, but I hope it goes by fast. How have you been feeling lately? I hope you're ok. Sending lots of hugs and strength your way. :kiss:

Dee, it's great to hear from you! Thanks for giving us an update. Sorry you've been dealing with so many issues and subsequently hydro. It sounds like you're being safe about it though. Don't beat yourself up about it. You've beaten short and long acting opiates. I hope you start to feel better soon. It seems like the worst shit always happens after we jump!!! Like Jules is stuck in the US, my grandpa's in the hospital, and your health issues (back, dental work, migraines). I think the methadone masks a lot of shit we don't know about. I've had 2 root canals just this year and who knows how long my teeth needed them. :evil: also, the whole withdrawal coming in waves is NO JOKE. I have barely been able to function this week. Like just waking up, brushing my teeth, and going to work were all like the hardest things I've ever done. And today was extremely bad. I felt shitty mentally and physically all day and lied on the floor in the dark during my lunch break. It's like worse now than the jump. I believe I'm on day 24 without methadone. Anyway, please don't beat yourself up about the hydro. I don't think any of us here have jumped and never touched an opiate again. But also I think we are strong and fucking awesome for enduring some serious shit. Alright I am going to finish the laundry, please keep us updated! :kiss:
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Fri Jan 09, 2015 1:19 am

Stepper,

Did your snow stick? I'm in your neighboring state, and we had WEAK little flurries that didn't even think about making it to the ground :x I was really looking forward to a change in the weather. I had my AC on in the car today. In fucking January. But body temp issues in WD could also be a contribution. :ogeez:
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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PrettyInPain
 
Posts: 225
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:58 am

Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Justjules13 » Fri Jan 09, 2015 4:40 pm

Hi Dee! If your keeping the hydros to two a morning, the WD shouldn't be too bad...it's good to see you here. I "jumped" dec 8th.(tapered to zero)
Hi Pip...my BF met me in LA on Dec 28. He'll be flying home to Amsterdam on February 8 without me :cry: (he's got work!). But I'll be along in six weeks..so alls good.
It's a daily fight to stay off opiates...but it gets easier..hang in there gals! :clap:
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Fri Jan 09, 2015 10:47 pm

I want you guys to know I'm here but only have a phone to get online. Pip....you go girl! Check pms.


Jules....Come stay with me!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Sat Jan 10, 2015 6:08 pm

PIP,

I think better days are right around the corner for you. :thumbup:
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Jan 10, 2015 7:49 pm

Ughhh. :suicide:

I'm trying so hard to stay strong. But I feel so weak and out of it. Fucking methadone. I'm so mad at myself for getting in this huge fucking mess. How stupid I was. Thought I was living the dream life on the roxys. "Just another day. Just to feel good." I romanticize those days. I read on tumblr somewhere that "opiate withdrawal is god's punishment for taking a little slice of heaven on earth." Haha. No fucking shit. I feel like I'm going crazy. My social skills and mental comprehension are shit. I'm just down and out and it's indescribable. But no one knows better than you guys. Thanks for holding my hand through this mess. I couldn't ask for better peeps in my corner.

Jules,

I'm glad you get to see your bf even though he has to fly back without you. Do you know where you're gonna stay yet? I hope you're enjoying your vacation even with that stick in the wheel.

Stepper,

Now that's snow! That's what I wanted! Thanks for sharing the picture. I can now live vicariously and enviously through it. :twisted: and I sure hope better days are on the horizon. Music helps a lot. For now I'm just riding the shit wave. :crazy:
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Posts: 225
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Jan 10, 2015 9:10 pm

Have to repost this video because it reminds me too much of WD. http://youtu.be/bgfQ-QZXtlc

Trying to find that pretty meadow but left with rot and decay.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Posts: 225
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:58 am

Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Jan 12, 2015 3:00 pm

Hang in there Honey....it's going to be difficult to face social situations for a while. Just smile and nod..lol. That's about all I could manage for a while, but it gets better. It's tiring...everything is a chore...but IT WILL PASS. It might take a couple months...but soon you'll notice your not dreading everything, and then more and more good days. I'll just about bet you wrote that post in a low spot..and feel better today! I sure hope so. Your right, we've been there. It sucks...but it will get better.
How can anyone deny global warming? The Hawaiians are walking around in sweaters and saying it's "freezing" here. It's 75!
Thanks Cheeps...I just might pull up in my granny van. I've always wanted to live in a motor home and travel around...that just might be the next plan..lol
How you doing GF?
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Wed Jan 14, 2015 8:58 pm

I don't know how anyone has been able to do this. Holy fucking shit. I haven't had a good day in over a week. I can barely do anything. I wish I could take time off work. I feel like I'm fucking dying. Mental and physical agony are nonstop.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
User avatar
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Posts: 225
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:58 am

Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Thu Jan 15, 2015 2:10 am

Don't give up-

It really DOES get better...
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby cheeps » Thu Jan 15, 2015 4:54 pm

stay steady on the max....you know what I mean......girl.....keep moving....KNOW that each moment brings you closer to normal. But what you feel is so normal for where you are. Don't expect to feel good....don't beat yourself up for feeling bad!!!


This is methadone detox and it sucks major ass. Keep posting....bitch, whine, and complain......we are here for you. 8-)


and stepper is soooo right....it DOES get better. Embrace the shit, don't fight it, struggling is inevitable....it's ok to be sick. I know you want to hide it from people but if you have a really hard time....tell people you have the flu....be gentle on yourself girl....this is HARD stuff....but you are doing it!!!! :kiss: :kiss:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Tapering Methadone

Postby PrettyInPain » Sat Jan 17, 2015 8:38 pm

It's very disheartening to say the least to know how much longer it might take to get back to normal. I have such bad insomnia, RLS, and can't even function in the day. I don't want to get out of bed, but in bed I kick and thrash around and hate life, and out of bed I can't function. Every little thing is a monumental task. I am so weak...so lethargic... And have a general sense of malaise. I seriously feel like I'm dying. And can't stop sneezing. Bad stomach pains too. I always think the next day will be a little brighter, but I haven't seen the light. Also just found out my grandpa died. This is taking a toll on my relationship too because I am so weak and depressed, I can't function. I am really lost right now. This is very bad.
I finally jumped!!! First day methadone-free: 12/16/14
Winter's gonna end, I'm gonna clean these veins again, so close to dying that I finally can start living.
For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a gaseous nebula must collapse. 

So collapse. 
Crumble.
 This is not your destruction. 

This is your birth.
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Posts: 225
Joined: Wed Aug 07, 2013 6:58 am

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