Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Feel free to read or create a new topic about benzodiazepine questions or detox. (*Note - Benzodiazepines are not opiates. They are Valium, Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan, and many more. Additionally, cessation of benzos without medical supervision can be very dangerous.)

Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby mimiluv » Sat Apr 02, 2011 7:49 pm

You're not out of the window for w/d or for a seizure is what he means.. I was on Klonipin that doesn't have as long of a half life.. but is the second longest.. and I wouldn't even feel a cut for 5 days. You still have a shit ton of valium in your system right now.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:40 pm

I know I still have a lot in my system, because I just self-tested with a UA cup, and it came back waaay positive for benzos. So, assuming I follow my doctor's advice to the letter, and do not drink any alcohol, my goal is to avoid a seizure because I think it is highly unlikely that they will drug test a lowly intern. What is your advice then on how to avoid a seizure? Ignoring the drug test issue, which either will happen, or it won't. It seems the duration of this drug in the system is so long that I might as well forget about a drug test, because I'll fail it if they give it, at least for the next month.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby xenofears » Sat Apr 02, 2011 8:53 pm

I really don't think your only goal should be to avoid a seizure, especially considering your psych history and your massive dosages. As I responded to via IM, you need to go to a benzo forum, your situation is too complex for me (and only me) to try and dig in to, and glad to hear back you are going now. Good luck to you. Keep us posted on your progress.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Sun Apr 03, 2011 8:17 pm

I self re-instated at 10mg diazepam yesterday, and today I took 2.5mg diazepam and will take the other 2.5mg diazepam at bedtime. Tomorrow I'm going to a sliding scale urgent care clinic and be seen for panic disorder symptoms only, with the goal of getting a small script that will let me taper down gradually and, more important, legally.

I probably won't explain my complex situation other than that I'm already on an SSRI and mood stabilizer for bipolar, and that I need something NOW for an internship on Tuesday to help with panic attacks (which is true) so there isn't time for buspar. Just hope he/she doens't prescribe vistaril, which I already have, and goes with a benzo. Actually, I could tell him I have vistaril and it isn't working. If I were to tell my whole, complete history from beginning to end a) they'd just refer me back to the VA for free care and b) I definitely wouldn't get a script for a benzo if they know I have substance abuse disorder on top of all the other shit.

The other benzo boards had some good advice. But my situation/history is too complex for THEM TOO, if you can believe that! They referred me to a website where I could find a sliding scale urgent care clinic, and i found one half a mile from here that I'm going to first thing in the morning. I really either need a) a script for benzo so I can taper legally and properly or b) a doctor's point of view on how to proceed after taking such abominably high doses for a month so I don't suffer WD's too bad or seize up.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby xenofears » Sun Apr 03, 2011 9:16 pm

Let me just say, taking 10mg of Valium yesterday and 5mg of it today MAY help prevent a seizure, but it ain't going to do jack for withdrawals, assuming you get them. Cutting 90% of your dose is just the same as a c/t, w/d severity wise.

I think your situation is too complex to really get advice on the Internet at ALL.. I'm sorry.. Glad to hear you are going to present the situation to a doctor.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:10 pm

Well, I went to the semi-free clinic and got on the waiting list---4-5 months before I can see anyone. 50 people at least in front of me waiting for medical appointments. I thought the VA was bad, cause sometimes they are a month or two out depending on the urgency and how you are triaged!! If triaged right, you could be seen the same day.

But I already told a half-truth to my VA psychiatrist. I told him I abused valium, but I did not get into specifics about duration and dosages. When asked how long since I used I told him the truth. When asked how much I used the last time I told him the truth. So he knew everything except that I used for a month and had that one binge night of 350g. So I can't go back to him; I was thinking of using that online medical consultation service called justask.com, which has a 7.1% admission rate, tougher than Harvard's 8%, to get accepted into as an "expert". It would cost $35, and I can't really afford to throw away $35.

So, I guess I've got to find another doctor at another clinic somewhere. Or just roll the dice---I've made it this far without withdrawal symptoms, probably because the mood stabilizers and antidepressants I'm on are so powerful. And they ARE powerful. I hate taking them. at least I hate taking the mood stabilizer---makes me so groggy all day. no matter how much coffee I drink, and exercise will wake me up for about 45 min then I get groggy again.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby mimiluv » Mon Apr 04, 2011 6:16 pm

Go the the ER and say you're having a panic attack you might be able to get a script from them.. Just an idea.. dont' you have urgent care there were you can just walk in? I have never heard of an urgent care having a 5 month waiting list, how in the hell is that urgent if you have to wait that long?
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Mon Apr 04, 2011 8:47 pm

sorry I wrote this big long reply and then got a google chrome error message

Can't go to the ER. Get stuck with a thousand dollar bill and there's no guarantee of a benzo script. And believe it or not, sometimes I'm a really accomplished liar (all addicts are), but I'm not good enough to feign a panic attack in the ER at spectrum. they will KNOW if it's real or not, I just know, the docs there are the best in West Michigan. And then I need a cover story and what should that be? I could go in and say I had a panic attack and am afraid of having one tomorrow at work but that doesn't meet the definition of an emergency in my book and I refuse to use the ER unless it really is urgent. Like when I broke my leg playing soccer, I had no prob going ot the ER and crying 10 on the pain scale. because it was like 12 or 13. But tomorrow if I have a seizure I'll be interning at the hospital and the doc will tell the nurse to push 4mg IV lorazepam and I'll wake up and be fine, and get out of work for the rest of the day. Or if I really was having a panic attack now I would go. But all I feel is anxiety about tomorrow, and that's not an emergency. I got 911 standing by if I sense a seizure coming on I'll call it, or quick crush and swallow some diazepam. Or maybe I'll continue my taper after self re-instatement or relapse or whatever you want to call it (last night I took 5mg) and do 2.5mg tonight and tomorrow and then zero. But there's no way I'll be dropped as a student intern. No way they'll test me. No way. As an employee, yes. As an intern, no way. I have to believe that, because the alternative isn't so pretty.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Fri Apr 08, 2011 7:28 pm

Well, let's see I re-instated last week at 5mg each night but quit again on the 5th(Tuesday) and have been fine so far. By the way, always check your meds on pill identifiers---never assume anything. I took naltrexone by mistake on Tuesday and either that or the benzo withdrawal had me seriously depressed. But I'm good now. Thanks to all for all the advice!
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby celticpride4Life » Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:32 pm

Hey man, I am really proud of you, you are doing great and and I hope you continue to have good days.

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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Fri Apr 15, 2011 11:34 pm

Thanks celticpride4life, I appreciate your support. I've been clean off the benzos still, with one slip, but the benzos are all gone now. So there will be no more "slipping".

best,
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby xenofears » Sat Apr 16, 2011 6:58 am

I'm really glad you got out ok Kevin, I was worried about you.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Sun Apr 17, 2011 7:41 pm

Thanks xenofears, I appreciate your concern. It's obvious you have taken a genuine interest in the health and welfare of each and ever member. It's a privilege to be a member of the community.

I was worried about me too!! There were definitely some rough patches I went through. Since I'm bipolar, I'll probably have future rough patches. But at least they shouldn't involve, and won't involve, benzo addiction.

I noticed there haven't been many people on the chat lately? I wonder whether no one's chatting, or have I accidentally hidden the chat option.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:34 pm

Well, it's been a while since I was on the benzos. But guess what happened last night? I was combing through my backpack looking for some notes and came across a couple of anti-anxiety med bottles. One was for hydroxyzine, which I quickly tossed back into the bag. The other had four of the 5mg diazepam inside of it. I stared at it for a little while. "I shouldn't," I said to myself. The darker side side encouraged me, "go for it. what's the harm?" This went on for a little while longer, the devil inside of me arguing back and forth with my better half. Finally, I compromised. I popped two and then closed it up and threw it back in the bag. The two remaining 5mg diazepam are still in there. They're not calling my name though. There they will probably sit until the end of time. I should probably flush them but . . . the last time I flushed medicine was almost two years ago. I regret it to the day. I pointlessly flushed 4 of the 20mg oxycontin along with 10 ritalin. What a waste of money. The oxy were $10 a pop. The ritalin was at least cheap.
Anyway, I just ate a quarter pounder meal at McDonald's, and it's sitting in there like a big lump in my stomach. I don't desire anything right now except maybe some pepto bismol. That's what I get for eating light for a few days and then gorging myself.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Sat Apr 30, 2011 8:55 pm

Well, I got some more benzos. I'm sitting here staring at them. Trying to decide whether to take a couple or not.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby celticpride4Life » Sat Apr 30, 2011 9:32 pm

krd1212 wrote:Well, I got some more benzos. I'm sitting here staring at them. Trying to decide whether to take a couple or not.


Why did you get more? Cross addiction is a reality bro. I would not be messing with that garbage. What else has been going on with you? How are you feeling?

Hit me up on gmail chat. My computer keeps freezing and giving me the boot or I would chat with you on here. :problem:
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Sat May 07, 2011 9:31 pm

It wasn't really my choice. I hooked my friend up with an online vendor and to "repay" me he had the vendor send me some ativan without even asking, knowing that I liked them. He genuinely thought he was doing me a favor but I forgot to tell him that I'm done with them.

Funny thing, is that I got ten ambien along with the 50 ativan. And apparently I went to the movies last weekend and can't even recall the name of the movie---my friend had to keep waking me up. Then I dinged up my car driving hitting a mailbox (this is the second time I've hit a mailbox, and the second time I've hit something because I took too much medicine) at least I didn't total the car like the last time I drove on ambien. Stupid ambien. And I can't find the ativan so I don't know if I took all 50 and don't remember or just threw them away. I know I wasn't normal for a couple of days however.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby celticpride4Life » Sun May 08, 2011 2:34 am

Dude! Don't mix that stuff, that is way too dangerous and your entire life could be shattered in an instant without you knowing it. And you don't know if you took the 50? I don't want to sound like a dick but come on man, enough of that please. We have lost members in the past and we do not need to go through that heart ache again.

What else has been going on with you? How are you feeling?
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby krd1212 » Wed Jun 08, 2011 6:00 pm

I've been feeling good today. No benzos for quite a while. It's amazing how hazy that stuff can make you feel, and how much damage to the memory it can result in.

Overall, I have adjusted to the changes in my psychiatric bipolar medicine, finally. It took nearly two months to finally feel normal on it. I still feel sleepy such that I want to take a nap throughout the day, but it's better how I felt before, feeling like I was carrying hundreds of pounds of dead weight---and one-hundred percent pure drowsiness. Yuck. Stay away from seroquel if you can. It takes soooo long to adjust to. And if you drink alcohol at all it is ten times worse.
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Re: Benzos for Sleep - Risk for Dependence/Withdrawals?

Postby LilyAnn » Wed Sep 12, 2012 10:19 pm

I know this is an old post, but the title of the thread is the exact question I'm wondering. I'm new to this forum (been in the subsux section) and am not sure if someone will see this. If not, I'll start a new thread. For the past year, I've been taking .5mg of xanax at night to sleep. I know it's not much, so I never thought it was a problem. After reading some of the info about benzos I got a little worried. I'm currently tapering down on subs and am really low (crumbs) and plan to keep tapering as much as I can. My question, though, is if I have to also worry about a xanax addiction. I have noticed the tolerance and in between doses of xan, I get really shaky inside and irritable. I haven't tried going without xan at night and am not sure what would happen. Would it be wise to taper sub and xan at the same time? Or should my xan intake not be a concern? Thanks for any tips, advice or knowledge!
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