Same song... need back-up singers.

Heroin, Pain Pills, Methadone are all opioids (aka opiates) and it just plain sucks or feels impossible to get off of any of them. Share about stopping, detox, or the desire to stop any of these.

Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Justjules13 » Sun Jun 24, 2012 3:53 pm

Hey Chop stick legs.....(you know who you are) Lortabs detox seems to have made you a little frisky. Go pick on someone your own size......(a nine Yr old) :rofl:

Nice digs Run....you forgot to mention the spiffy new swing cover....living large!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby wastedtime » Sun Jun 24, 2012 4:08 pm

Yep,it has made me frisky,who would have thought? You know i'm teasing . I'm waiting on my 8 yr old GD to get here,the ten yr old is bigger than me,lol.Goldie :kiss:
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby runthemachine » Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:43 pm

Hmmmm.... I think it may be time to start a new thread ~ One that's more suited to my 'current' sitch.

Think I'll just do that. My "back-up singers" have carried me through the terrible depths of Hell... and I don't have words to thank you all. Honest & true. It was this site, alone, that has been my constant boon. I am among the blessed 5%... due to your love and invaluable blessings and support.

I made it.

Hey, I KNOW that I may fall again... it happens everyday, especially to dyed-in-the-wool addicts like me. Still, I've 'succeeded' to the point that most folks in my boat never find their way to. There are far too many seemingly 'safe' harbors along the way... and a reprieve (of ANY kind) is a welcomed 'comfort' in our darkest hour.

In parting ~ because I AM parting from this thread ~ , I just want to say that there is NO substitute for Father Time. It's simply the only way out. I pray that ALL who find there way here, come to understand that... and position themselves to give that coupla months (again, time. Period) to stop the madness and the nightmare. It will not end until you surrender that price... Time.

I know what I speak of, or I wouldn't have bothered. I wish ALL who read this every blessing. Whether you're strung on Subs, SAOs, or Done... you have a price to pay, if you're ever to be free of your demon. Nut-up, and make it happen. Freddie be fucked, you'll NEVER be sorry that you're shed of your imprisonment.

That's my iron-clad, money back guaranteed promise to you. If you get past miserable dopesick, and decide that the lack of brutal shitiness ain't for you... PM me with your complaint. I'll PayPal your refund (for your troubles... or lack thereof) straight away. Seriously, and on my honor.

Thank you SubSux, and ratch (whom, without, I just don't know where I would have found the strength), for your love, advice, and support. The terrifying world of fear, doubt, and "I just can't DO this!!!" without you.... is simply unfathomable to me.

I love you all so very, very much... and I owe you everything. I AM the 5%... thanks to you all.

Much peace, and (truly) boundless blessings,
G
Eternally... free from nothing.
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Special K » Sun Jul 01, 2012 7:24 pm

:clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:
(Standing Ovation)

~ You're an inspiration!

Kat
I apologize if my posts are confusing sometimes. It's because I have ADD - Attention Defi....
Hey, look
A butterfly!
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Wed Jul 04, 2012 5:57 am

Where's the new thread?



It's great when people get off opiates, and still hang around here. Only about 5% of the 5% continue to post after they have detoxed, and got their life back :mrgreen:
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby runthemachine » Sat Sep 01, 2012 2:22 am

Peas and carrots.
Last edited by runthemachine on Tue Nov 06, 2012 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby nootlsjr » Sat Sep 01, 2012 3:00 pm

run, your extremely strong in my books. you defeated some heavy demons once, and can acheive anything. im a pot head, but know mad aclys. the problem with me is dailly rewards, what can compare to dailly drug/alcy use. there must be something, but its not easy to find. need to start crochea'ing or something.lol. im in the same boat. a steamer gummed up with ressin. all we can do is remember the past and due the best to ensure a future. i hope you beast it through to the other side of your struggles. you are and always will be a good insperation. music alone. and your great emphicism in your writing. peace and get off the hoarse and run the machine.
Y ask Y,Y. Y is Y.....
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby runthemachine » Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:21 pm

Thanks for the kindness, noots. Good stuff, Bro.

:thumbup: :thumbup: :thumbup:
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Justjules13 » Sat Sep 01, 2012 4:22 pm

You ARE extremely strong, like Noots said. You beat that 400mg a day monster.
I was a alcoholic before opies. The black out, were did I leave my car?, kind. I remember thousands of mornings swearing I wouldn't drink that night, and a pint of jack Daniels later it was off to the races...
I don't suggest you trade one addiction for another...I'm just letting you know I know exactly how you feel.
The weekend opie thing is scary...you now how fast that can escalate into a daily thing. But it IS good that you don't have a physical habit.
Well hon, you got 30 days this time....what say you that you try for 60 next time? Where you just miserable each of those 30 days, or was it tolerable? There is no defete in trying...and you proved that you can do it. I really feel each setback makes you stronger. You know what your facing.
So how did you feel for those 30 days? Was it a daily struggle?
Is your wife being supportive?
Sorry for all the questions....
I guess I was like Stepper...I thought you forgot about us and was living large. I'm glad to see you back, I just wish you weren't hurting. I miss your posts. You were the first person here that I really felt a connection with...even though you were battling pills and I was sub.
Ok my friend...don't beat yourself up. It's a sucky demon we face.
Much love,
Jules
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
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Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:08 am

runthemachine wrote:Well cheeps.... you asked for it. If you still enjoy the occasional chronic... worth a couple bites. If not <shrug>... I'm guessing you'll be lovin' a SERIOUS groove, anyway.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mn64Vwv3yUE

Oh, and you flat-out don't like it... we're not webbybuddies anymore. =P

LoLoLoL.

Hey, find another one (maybe even on that page!) called Restaurant on the Edge of the Universe. No horns, but.... <sigh>. Sure makes ME wish for the days the indo. Fucking awesome.

Peace, cheeps.

I'm outtie, all. One more night of comatose, and it's time to reclaim the throne.

I just read your story here and WOW that was me at one time too! Also awesome song!!!! :shred:

Much peace and love always.... all days, SS.
GII
Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

02/08/15 - 02/14/15 hopefully!
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Sat Nov 03, 2012 8:20 am

runthemachine wrote:cheeps & dd ~ Thanks for the words.

"Sleep preferred but optional." LoL... no shit, right??

Hey, I've wondered this for a long time now: Anybody else notice a particular and peculiar smell when in WDs?? I've notice it the last several times I've been in withdrawal here. But, it's in my house... I think. It's like maybe the air freshener my fiancee chooses 'morphs' into this odor that becomes very distinctive. Maybe your sense of taste too? I dunno, maybe it's just me.. but I don't think so. I think 'something happens' to my sense of smell & my sense of taste when I'm in WDs.

Well, another Day 1 down. I'm like so very, very many who've said "My last Day 1". And now I say it.. again.

:|



Oh I am still going through this! 45+ days out now. I have the nose of a fucking beagle. I can smell a gnat fart a mile away! The candles that Mrs Unhooked has burning is driving me insane. I can smell it throughout the whole damn house! Cigarettes I smoke smell like shit but I keep smoking them death sticks. The MJ I got from a friend of my daughter helps alleviate some symptoms but it stinks really bad too! This far out I would have thought it would be over with by now. I jumped from 2mg's of sub do you think if I jumped at a lower dose it might have helped with the protracted WD's? This kind of sucks. I do have 5 mg Vicodin still but I limit those to one pill, twice a day max even though I can always get more at 3 a day. But I've been that route before. It is like G-N-R sang about in Mr Brownstone, I used to do a little, but a little got more and more. We all know what that is like, it is so fucking very true!
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby runthemachine » Sat Dec 01, 2012 2:59 pm

This song helped me through detox. It was kinda 'dark' and sad (to me), but it was a tremendous help.

Maybe it'll help somebody else.

Much love and success,
G~II

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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:24 pm

Justjules13 wrote:You ARE extremely strong, like Noots said. You beat that 400mg a day monster.
I was a alcoholic before opies. The black out, were did I leave my car?, kind. I remember thousands of mornings swearing I wouldn't drink that night, and a pint of jack Daniels later it was off to the races...
I don't suggest you trade one addiction for another...I'm just letting you know I know exactly how you feel.
The weekend opie thing is scary...you now how fast that can escalate into a daily thing. But it IS good that you don't have a physical habit.
Well hon, you got 30 days this time....what say you that you try for 60 next time? Where you just miserable each of those 30 days, or was it tolerable? There is no defete in trying...and you proved that you can do it. I really feel each setback makes you stronger. You know what your facing.
So how did you feel for those 30 days? Was it a daily struggle?
Is your wife being supportive?
Sorry for all the questions....
I guess I was like Stepper...I thought you forgot about us and was living large. I'm glad to see you back, I just wish you weren't hurting. I miss your posts. You were the first person here that I really felt a connection with...even though you were battling pills and I was sub.
Ok my friend...don't beat yourself up. It's a sucky demon we face.


That is fucking amazing, that is a lot of dope to come off from. I thought I have done some serious shit in the day but that had to be excruciatingly difficult!
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Fri Dec 07, 2012 7:44 am

runthemachine wrote:Glad your Klipshes keep towin' the line for ya, Brother. Hope you get the random short in your ride figured out. Nothing like losing half your awesome sound right in the middle of a jam that's making everything in the world come right... right?? :evil:

Dude, you'll get past the bullshit. I have every faith. If you'd have asked me about 8 months ago if I truly thought I was gonna get ALL the way out the other end of this shit... I'd have flipped a two-headed coin & said "Heads says I'm still struggling in a year... like the rest of the 95% who don't make it out whole.". & hell, I think Kimmie had less faith than I did. She's a 'research girl', and when she was reading "5% of full-blown opiate addicts actually find their way all the way off of them.", she believed it. Plus, she was living the monthly misery of me running out early (EVERY time), and taking to the streets with several hundred dollars, just to get me to my next re-up.

Yes, my Friend... it looked bleak. Yet, here I am. Almost 6 months after the most brutal nightmare of my life, and with just a few minors slips & scrapes, I live to tell the world "I'm not dopesick. And I never, ever will be again.". Oh, and I did it WITHOUT a 30K rehab, and without a single meeting. If meetings help people, gods speed, and every blessing to them. Whatever it takes, and I mean that from the bottom of my soul.

There's plenty of room for you here, TomCat. I'm savin' your place. 8-)

Epic and hilarious Coverdale 'moment' at 3:28. I laugh my balls off everytime. :shred: :laughpound: :shred: Judgement Day is probably my favorite WS tune. Hair Band glam, and dry-humping aside... it's a serious, and very respectable piece of music. Their shining moment, IMO.

Big love to ya 840tcat. I'm thinking of you, and sending you much power and positive energy.

Peace,
G




Run you definitely have an eclectic taste for music, I like that, except, the one thing I just can't listen to is rap/electronic music, everything else is just alright for me! I like to listen to a real person play a real instrument not some electronic digitized instrument you press on a keyboard to make sound, or scratch a old record to hell. I remember back in the day if you scratched one of my records like they do today I would have kicked someones ass! I have an excellent sound system today. Marantz tuner, Crown amp with a Mitsubishi pre-amp running Bose 301's and Magneplanar 1.7 speakers . I love my hair bands, and SRV blues!
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby emily » Fri Dec 07, 2012 8:46 am

Hi RTM
Since you are coming up on a year off (i remember you being sick on Christmas) the drugs i was wondering how you feel? Congrats on almost one year!
Emily
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby runthemachine » Sat Dec 08, 2012 10:13 am

Unhooked ~ Dude, that sounds like an excellent system, indeed! I had also acquired some damned decent equipment back in the Germany days. That was the thing for GIs back then - if you were stationed in GY or Korea, you were pretty much required to get bad-ass stereo gear (as it was sinfully cheap, and the gubment would ship it back stateside for free when you were done your tour there.). Naturally, there would be a quartz, direct-drive turntable in the mix, but if you were serious about your music, you put it all on reel-to-reel... Teac, of course. (I don't see the smiley for "I'm ancient". LoL).

Emily ~ Thanks so much for askin' about me (and remembering. :kiss: ).

You know, it's kinda funny (not "funny ha-ha, or funny queer" - Slingblade) - it's crossed my mind several times, lately, how 'far' I've come this past year. About this time a year ago, I was stressed-the-fuck-out about what I knew was coming up. What I knew had to happen. It took a couple/few hundred mgs to keep me from starting to feel sick... and another couple hundy to get that good, warm, droolin', dope-nod that made everything just right. :ugeek:

No need to recount the nightmarish weeks that ensued (it's in here somewhere... in all it's naked glory), but I re-identify with all of it, in every post I read from someone trying to slog through it. When ratch says it was a major life-accomplishment just to reach for the TV remote, he's tragically dead-on. Since I sorta drank my way through most of it, I vividly recall the horrible 20 minutes it would take me to get into some clothes, drag myself to the car, struggle myself out of it and into the beer-getter, back to the car, and then back into the house with my treasure. Ugh... :punchballs: :sick: :suicide:

I guess I'm kinda glad I recently sold that car - it held countless hours and hours of desperate, miserable, dopesick memories.

ANYway, all of that is far behind me. And while you can't learn from someone else' mistakes, regrets, or experiences, I truly hope that my 'victory' (of sorts), and those of so many others here, can serve as at least a promise... if not a small glimmer of hope... that it really does end. Someday.

10 or 11 months ago, I would cry inside (and sometimes outwardly) if I dropped something on the floor... because I then had to bend down and pick it up. Some of it was the pain that lingered from my surgery. Most of it was just having to move that much at all. Sometimes, even today, when I need (or simply want) to do something physical, I get a brief flash of dread ~ before I instantly remember that it's not horrible anymore.

Here's tmi ~ It's nice to poop everyday without A) spending 10 minutes on the can (maybe twice a week), and practically breaking a blood vessel in my eye before hearing the rock hit the bowl. or B) Tearing through a roll & a half of TP per day, and wondering just how much liquid fire the human body can possibly produce. It seriously took months to be 'regular' again. And while that's gross & all, I testify because I know I'm not the only person here who's wondered if they had caused irreparable damage to their GI system, and thought they might never be 'right' again. It's a long road to return to that particular normalcy (and probably even longer for strict subbies ~ I was a hybrid. :smart: LoL), but I have to believe that it's the very rare case that actually has serious, lasting damage at the end of the day. Just hang in there... it'll happen.

Sleep ~ Ah, sleep :laughpound: :gaah: and more :suicide: I was a good 6 or 7 months before I could actually get a solid, natural night's sleep. I still take a melatonin now & then, or an Ibuprofin PM (if I'm kinda hurty from the day's work), but Seroquel was my savior for the first months of my recovery, and I've said this many times. I know that Traz, sleepytitme tea, melatonin, or a mallet to the noggin works for some folks (and gods bless 'em), but in the early times... all that shit did was hurt my feelings. 99% of the time now, I sleep like the crypt. Blessed Be.

All in all, I'm good! And thanks again for asking, Emily. I've thought about it, but the fact is, I've never bought into the 'birthday' concept. I'm one of those people who does NOT wanna walk around, talkin' 'bout "Hey! I quit drugs! Hey, do you know I used to be insanely addicted to all things opiate?? Yeah, yeah!! I was wrecked all the time, and...". Fuck that. It's better for me, personally, if I don't (dangerously, in my case) rent the whole thing that much head space. But, I never really forget. ;) And quiet kudos is welcomed & appreciated. Blowing my horn does not make me feel 'good' about it... a warm and knowing nod does.

And hey, if this wasn't nauseatingly long-winded... you might be thinking someone else wrote it!! LoLoL. Sorry, all.

Much peace and love, SS. Hope everyone is enjoying a nice Holiday season... I know that this one beats the living shit outta the last one.


I sometimes send this to people who are struggling, and yet so close to 'making it'. Hang tough, Friends... I'll see you on the other side.

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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby runthemachine » Sat Dec 08, 2012 12:38 pm

AddictAJ wrote:Hi Run,

I'm new to the forum & want you to know that I read your entire thread (31 pages, dude!) before I joined & I think you're awesome! The way you documented your detox was great - I found myself rooting for you & relating very much to a lot of what you've gone through. Just wanted to say congrats on staying the course!

Just wanted to pop in on your super-popular thread, introduce myself...& thank you for sharing your story. I think you will help a LOT of people by sharing your experience.

-AJ


Someone PMed me today, saying they read my "WHOLE STORY". I can't imagine... what a masochist they must be. :lol: Geez, what a long-winded mess my detox was.

Anyway, it gave me cause to sift back through a great deal of it :sick: . A year ago today, I was shopping for a suit-coat to wear to my Girl's X-Mas party. I was still nicely 'tuned-up' on my beloved opies... and 8 days from my fucking epic jump. Wow.

The 'therapeutic' value of posting my journey accounts for about 50% of why I'm glad I shared it. A post like the one I'm quoting, accounts for the other 51%.

Love
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Sun Dec 09, 2012 12:55 pm

Here is a flasback moment for all you old peeps.....


Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Sun Dec 09, 2012 12:58 pm

For you even older peeps...........................



Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

02/08/15 - 02/14/15 hopefully!
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Re: Same song... need back-up singers.

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Sun Dec 09, 2012 1:01 pm

Unhookedfromsub wrote:For you even older peeps...........................






I think that might be runthemachine out there boogieing out there at 2:45 into the concert!
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