Still breathing

Heroin, Pain Pills, Methadone are all opioids (aka opiates) and it just plain sucks or feels impossible to get off of any of them. Share about stopping, detox, or the desire to stop any of these.

Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Tue Sep 29, 2015 10:05 am

day 19,

thank you for the support. I been feeling like a closet case lately. I might not know what I really want, but I know I want change. lol. the only choice I ever made was now, and no more annnddd then.

I am getting better slowly. ill take it, as long as I never have to willingly repeat. another day of miss matched mental mayhem with a smile. its better then the sloth i was for the past week or so. peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby CTCheryl » Tue Sep 29, 2015 1:43 pm

A little Shakespearean on day 19 noots?
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Tue Sep 29, 2015 2:27 pm

to feel right, or to be right. that is the question. lol.

fuck me I have to stop asking that question. I cant have both till both has me. thanks.
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Re: my bad..

Postby cheeps » Tue Sep 29, 2015 8:52 pm

21is right around the corner....you have been thru some brutal shit....you are in the depths of Opi detox mindfuck....it's been a while since you've been here....it sucks....so you just keep going to the good light...you won't get burnt up....fall is here and you are going to feel better by Xmas...it's not that far away.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: my bad..

Postby CTCheryl » Wed Sep 30, 2015 6:45 am

jingle bells....jingle bells... :cheers:
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Wed Sep 30, 2015 10:11 am

day 20,

thanks, my mind is starting to want the right things, but im to drained to achieve it. I have enough energy for anger, but barely enough sense to use/abuse it. im getting somewhere alright, but never fast enough. I have to give in my car to be fixd today, and when I get it back all bets are off. I guess I should enjoy this down time before the big climb. not looking forward to whats good, but I know when I get what I need I will want it. yay, fuck, hooray. no whores, nay. just another day, peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby cheeps » Wed Sep 30, 2015 8:23 pm

Another day away from the cycle....it sucks but soon you will be back in the saddle....if you don't get blown away by Joaquin!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Thu Oct 01, 2015 1:47 am

thanks,
I never been so fucked/depleted before. I had no energy for almost three weeks, and now that im starting to get it back its all bad energy. anger and aggression. all the opposite of patience. I know one day soon I will turn my negative aggression into positive contributes, but for now im still too beat down to try. eventually I will be forced to fully function again, but for now its just getting by. alive. unwillingly well, but soon to be capable. peace. fuck me for questioning the rules of fact and fiction.
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Re: my bad..

Postby CTCheryl » Thu Oct 01, 2015 7:55 am

Yeah, that main fact being you can't beat freddie the fucker, EVER.....

I've watched you here for a long time, I've always felt you could make it. I still do.

Sometimes you have to eliminate or distance certain people in your life too and change the places you go in order to make a real difference.
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Thu Oct 01, 2015 10:23 am

day 21,

thanks,

drugs have been here since the beginning of time, and will stay here till the end. i needed to understand the depths of. now i can move on, when ready/healthy. thanks, and fuck Freddie. he is no friend of mine, just another phase of development. yay. peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Fri Oct 02, 2015 2:59 am

3 weeks and I still cant get more then a beer or 2 down. I thought it was safer to snort it, but my stomach thinks other wise. this is a first. I usually can drink by 2 weeks. not that I care so much about getting drunk, but my metabolism. I couldn't gain or lose a pound for 3 years, and now I think I gained 30 lbs in 3 weeks.

my opy experience is crazy, if 1 bag will get me weeks of wd, then even in the future my system is so keend to opys that a few percs could create a crazy wd. that would suck.
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Fri Oct 02, 2015 3:27 pm

day 22,

im just starting to get my energy and motivation back. its a start. ill take it. I can sleep again, so I cant complain. peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby cheeps » Fri Oct 02, 2015 4:13 pm

Fanatastic!! One step forward!,
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Sat Oct 03, 2015 9:51 am

day 23,

thanks cheeps, the cold helps my motivation. yay winter. lol.

just another day on schedule. the more contributes the more attributes. one more day, one more positive contribute. peace,.
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Re: my bad..

Postby cheeps » Sun Oct 04, 2015 1:52 am

noots...when guys get to be over 25, their metabolism slows way the hell down. :think:

And yes, you do get to a point when your body is trying to tell you that it'd not invincible. :MrT: :x

Sucks to rag your body out...but that's what happens when you expose your organs to drugs. :shrug: Have you been tested for the hepatitis brothers? :wired:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Sun Oct 04, 2015 12:33 pm

day 24,

I have to disagree. over 25 year olds can drink beer, and I can not, yet. my metabolism is what I make it. with diet and exercise. I am clean, but why would I have hep. I don't bang. and rarely go raw dog, witch is rare anyway, and least of the worrys.

my stomach has been getting a steady flow of opy mucus, and would shit every 3 days. its just taking longer then usual. thanks, but I have plenty of working years in my left. yay taxes. peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Mon Oct 05, 2015 11:11 am

day 25,

the lack of satisfaction is getting annoying, but announce brings anger, and anger brings energy, so yay for enough energy to strive, even if its not willingly. yay another day. still lookn for someone to fuck or knock out to feel better. if only I could catch up to time. that fucker is mine. peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby cheeps » Mon Oct 05, 2015 12:40 pm

Aw noots....you need a punching bag and a large steak! :rofl: so...use what little bit of manic energy ya got to go running. The cave man wasn't wrong about strenuous exercise....has your heart rate been good? Any high bp's?

What's your days looking like if you don't mind me asking.... :kiss:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: my bad..

Postby nootlsjr » Mon Oct 05, 2015 4:21 pm

aww, cheeps, you my only friend. lol. thanks.

I have a punching bag, and had 3 steaks for lunch. all I ate yet. trying to eat easy digestibles. my day is like any one else's. work, and play. the only exception is the play part. lol. my waves of mania turned into angry trials and tribulations. if only I wasn't so spoiled maybe I could enjoy the comfort of my attributes. till then its aggression against digression, with little discretion. the only way to enjoy a spoiled fruit is to bare with the bitterness. thanks, peace.
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Re: my bad..

Postby cheeps » Tue Oct 06, 2015 8:24 am

Well...play some video games and do the best you can....30 days is right around the corner. And my my, eating steak...I was thinking of something else but steak isn't the same as a woman!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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