16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby nomojo3479 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:23 am

I’m super happy for you.. uve left ur chains behind. That’s fuckin beautiful man..
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby CatsMeow » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:58 am

Oh Doc, this is profound:

"When each of you jump it will be the same because you build it up in your heart for so long the relief far outweighs the stress, doubt and any acute, subacute or post acute symptoms. Jumping was the easiest part. Tapering is the battle, jumping is the victory. Look forward to it, your day is coming."

This is so positive! It gives me the strength both physical & mental to taper low & slow and take things as they come. It's going to be a while before my jump time comes, but that's okay. I will survive this taper and then it will be victory! I needed to hear this Steve. Thanks for letting us know this very important information.

I hope things continue to get better & better for you each & every day. We're here for you always.

XOXO
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:05 am

nomojo3479 wrote:I’m super happy for you.. uve left ur chains behind. That’s fuckin beautiful man..


Nomojo, your chains will soon be stacked on top of mine which will then be under Cat's, Anna, Martin's and Mare's, etc...and that rusting, rotting monolithic pile of chains are forever immortalized in these threads we've created and the posts we write, showing and proving that not only can it be done, but here's the fucking map.

Other than really wanting to post the song JUMP! (I started blasting it every morning the last month of my taper, it literally became my anthem). I always wanted to be able to write one thing that I truly believe I have the right to say: Based upon my personality type, the fact that every person I know is a five star drug dealer with the most potent drugs, that never run out, and they can just send a fax to get me whatever I want whenever I want it and in two hours a nice person rings my doorbell and hands me a little white bag. And most importantly, the fact that my taper spread sheet looks something like this: 1.0mg, .09mg, .08mg, 2.0mg, 2.5mg, 3.0mg, 2.0mg, 1.5mg, .09mg, .75mg, 6.0mg, 1.0mg, 3.5mg, 4.0mg, 2.0mg, 1.5mg...well, you get it. Anyone that takes 16 months to taper off of one milligram and took more every time he sneezed or had to attend some function, I believe has the right to say...If I can do it (finally) literally anyone can do it.

Today I will destroy all opiates in my house. Except my Fentanyl lollipops, I like to start my day with 2-3 of those. Also, they really helped me get through the last few months of my taper for some reason. Made it much easier in fact. OK...I'm off to Passages Malibu for an 'extended stay'...but at least I'm sub free. And yes, I'm joking, I'm not going to Passages, I'm going to Phoenix House! Too soon? Try cracking that joke at an NA meeting...fucking humorless Nazi fucks!
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby cheeps » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:48 am

Subverted DietDoc wrote::shock: Hours away from completing my first sub free week. Seems surreal. Symptoms are slowly fading. The restlessness has always been the worst of it and that’s a lot better but not totally gone. Sore legs and joints persist but also improved. Several people have written the first week is the toughest and somehow I did it. I fought my taper more than I embraced it but the jump itself was a 100% zero option commitment. When each of you jump it will be the same because you build it up in your heart for so long the relief far outweighs the stress, doubt and any acute, subacute or post acute symptoms. Jumping was the easiest part. Tapering is the battle, jumping is the victory. Look forward to it, your day is coming.

Hey Cheeps...did you know the Avrett Brothers are you neighbors?


I'd stickie this post if I could...maybe one day... :cheers: :banghead:

Steve....you are sounding GREAT. GREAT as in FANFUCKINGTASTIC....

Yes, you fought it but you knew down deep, DEEP, you had to do it. Now celebrate!!! BURN those fuckers up!!

The next few months will be the rollercoaster ride but you have peeps here to guide you thru it. Sub4seven and smots, edotz....they all know what the deal is.

I just woke up and still fuzzy...the averitt brothers are about 4 hours from here going west towards Charlotte. Wish I lived closer but they will be in myrtle beach in March/April I think.

I love you and your fairy....you've made it to....THE OTHER SIDE!!! :pash: :cheers: 8-)
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby cheeps » Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:54 am

One day, I'm gonna stickie the whole thread. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:

Gimme them lollipops motherfucker!!! Mwahahahahaha, I can at least say, I've never had that stuff. And the ONLY humor filled meetings I have ever been to were those aimed towards the gay community.....they at least know how to crack jokes and accept crazy peeps. Just saying.
10 yrs on methadone
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Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby nomojo3479 » Mon Feb 12, 2018 9:12 pm

Fentanyl lollipops mmmmm... the junkie in me think that sounds yummy.. man, I may have to deal with some opiate cravings once I finish my taper..l surprisingly I don’t really have them at all even when sick during my taper.. so idk.. doc, I’m so stoked to see you tapered off this crap.. it is a true accomplishment and testament to your will... as a man thinketh...
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby CatsMeow » Tue Feb 13, 2018 10:50 am

cheeps wrote:One day, I'm gonna stickie the whole thread. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:



Okay folks, cheeps needs the ability to stickie threads. This takes money. The "Donate" button has been broken for ages. We need to fix that too. But in the mean time, if you can donate even just $10 it will help to update our wonderful forum.

You can donate to Ratch through PayPal for free via Friends & Family. Send to hrratchet@yahoo.com. Include your forum name for Ratch too.

Sometimes the good things in life are not free. Thanks for donating what you can. :kiss:

If you need any help, just PM me.

Doc, hang in there my friend. Hold strong. You've got this! :clap:
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby cheeps » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:59 pm

Hot damn....I needs me a lollipop....is there a dr in da house?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby CatsMeow » Wed Feb 14, 2018 8:58 am

How are ya Doc? Hanging in there? Let us know what's going on my friend.
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby cheeps » Wed Feb 14, 2018 11:04 am

10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:35 pm

My challenges seem petty in light of all those affected by the tragic events at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL today. My thoughts are with them all.

I’ve made it into the double digits. Some really crappy nights during these early days but I can tell things are slowly changing for the better. I’ve been through full-blown, hard-core, opiate withdrawal and this definitely isn’t anywhere close to those experiences.

I had my big bonfire yesterday where quite a lot of those nasty orange film strips were the main fuel source. That felt good...I burned it so it couldn’t burn me anymore.

A couple hours away from day 11. One day I’ll look back and laugh how I counted these days...and that’s a good thing. But for now, especially until my symptoms resolve, everyday is huge.

To all those tapering: you are all heroes and everyday you prove it, even when it feels like it’s going so slow, in fact, especially when it feels like it’s so slow.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Annalo57 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 9:37 pm

Hi Doc. I don't even know what to say to you. You fucking did it. Mostly, I just want to give you a HUGE hug!!!! You put your money where your mouth is. You didn't just talk the talk, you walked the walk. It doesn't matter how long it took, or what you had to do along the way. It just matters that you did it. Bravo motherfucker!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljrFQyE1hAg

Love you

Anna

P.S. When i call you a motherfucker, its a good thing.
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Annalo57 » Wed Feb 14, 2018 10:59 pm

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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Thu Feb 15, 2018 3:33 am

11 days without taking a suboxone after waking up, that's huge man. I'm real interested to know how the physical symptoms have been when jumping from such a small dose. Sleep, aches, RLS, etc. Any of that stuff? Congrats man.
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby nomojo3479 » Thu Feb 15, 2018 8:25 am

Thanks for the update doc, I was wondering, would u consider the post jump symptoms to be harsher than ur pre jump symptoms? I guess I’m asking is it worse right now (symptom wise) than it was 13days ago? Not an urgent question btw just wondering
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Fri Feb 16, 2018 1:02 pm

Firstly, and most importantly, thank you all so much for the support and encouragement for the many months I have been on this forum. Your kindness has meant the world to me. There’s nothing virtual about something you feel in your heart. I literally think about all of you everyday.

I have stopped taking Suboxone only 12 days ago, so I'm not really much of an expert, especially knowing there’s so much ahead of me. But writing what’s going on at an early stage is probably just as useful as people whom can write about it looking back years after they jumped.

Before I write about symptoms I think it’s really important that you keep in mind how and when I ended my taper because I am sure it played a role in my experience and will change, at least somewhat, if someone else does things differently. Sub7 wrote, "What’s it like to jump from such a low dose"? My avatar signature reads .09mg/day as my jump dose; this is not entirely accurate, although it's technically true. I only took that dose 3 times, and 2 of them were 8 hours apart, not 12 hours (.045 x 2 ). Also, the previous 3 drops I did from .27mg to .09mg I only took for 5 days each because I knew if I didn't push myself I'd never get it done, period. It was an emotional but honest decision. I am sure this made things at least a little more uncomfortable for me post-jump (but I am still very, very glad I done what I done). Cheeps used a brilliant algorithm and calculated my actual jump dose at .15mg/day, still getting down there but not Eyedotz kind of low (.03mg/d)! There is an on-line Suboxone taper calculator that gives you a highly specific timetable with dosages and reduction dates. Personally, I find their model laughable and insane. They say 22 days to get off of 1mg a day comfortably. I find this irresponsible in the extreme. But you also don’t need to take over a year like I did, either. Here’s a link to that calculator if you haven’t seen it: http://www.helpmegetoffdrugs.com/taper Just enter what your current dose is and it makes the taper schedule for you. With that said...

The main reason I expedited my jump is even when I was taking the same dose for 2 to 3 weeks the terrible fatigue and seriously sore legs and insomnia just remained, I ceased to ‘stabilize’. Once I got below around .5mg/d all this started and basically just got worse, or at least persisted. The only way I could get it to go away was by taking more sub…but not just ‘back up one dose more sub’…like a lot more sub (at least a milligram and usually for a few days) but I was done backsliding, my New Year’s resolution was one thing: Subnialation.


So I started my jump with sore led legs, insomnia and generalized fatigue. When I jumped I began a standard bell curve...you go up and ascend on the left side, reach the peak, and then start to descend down the right side. First day I felt no changes, baseline of the curve. ALL of my pre-jump symptoms just remained the same, didn’t really get worse or better and I was actually really happy about that because now I was finally off the taper clock and on the healing clock. But then the night of day 2 happened and the Lord God said…I am going to fuck you up son. So the Lord threw his furious anger down upon me and placed me in hell. A new symptom I hadn’t had was my gift, whole-body RLS directly from hell. No sweating, no chills, no GI symptoms, just that really nasty feeling where you can not relax and HAVE to move some body part every 3 seconds, 24 hours a day, no choice: hard-core, acute withdrawal abstinence syndrome. At least with insomnia you can lie down and be calm, watch Netflix and play with your junk. But this, I have to honest, was hell and I hated it. As I moved up the left side of that bell curve nothing else got worse, legs hurt the same, etc., except this whole-body RLS thing…it just got worse and worse. Maybe a small part of me embraced it as the beginning of the end, but, again, just being totally honest, by the 3rd night I couldn’t cope with it, yet I did.

I was pissed because I did taper and figured I’d escape this acute pain phase, that’s the whole fucking point of it. I had been through cold-turkey withdrawals before and felt that way for 30 days straight so now I’m thinking this is going to last and last. But, and I think you're all going to love this, fairly soon I was at the peak of my bell curve. 6 nights of hell to be exact and then my symptoms of whole body RLS (the only really painful part of jumping) started to subside. On day 7 or 8 I feel like a miracle happened. You know that feeling when you get a tingle up your spine; it used to happen to us as kids a lot...it's almost an orgasmic sensation, the euphoria of youth kind of thing. So I am lying on the couch, pillow punching, flopping around and literally begging for it to end, hating life and feeling like I will never feel good again (seriously). Out of nowhere I suddenly started to feel my legs tingle. No shit, tingle. This odd, intense euphoria just ran up both my legs from feet to pelvis...and within minutes my entire body just relaxed and I felt dramatically better, I felt wellbeing and the whole-body RLS just STOPPED! A few hours later the WBRLS did return, but then the tingle happened after a few hours of suffering and I felt good yet again. This happened about 5 times, each time with a longer and longer interval in between the return of the WBRLS. And based upon the past 3 days and nights...and you're really, really going to love this...IT IS FUCKING OVER FOREVER. OF THIS I AM SURE. I have peaked and am now on the right, descending side of the bell curve. My legs don’t hurt, my energy is clearly coming back and the insomnia is more intermittent. All of my pre and post jump symptoms have dramatically improved. I feel better both physically and mentally now then at any point during my taper. My motivation is higher; my cognition is better and I feel a part of my self also returning, a part I like, a part I missed, a part of me I forgot about. I’m not naïve; I know I just spent a week in acute withdrawal and of course I feel better as I slide down the other side of that bell curve…and there may be PAWS on the horizon. But bring it on bitch, no matter what, the worst is over and of this I’m sure. I should add I’m not big on comfort meds. I took some extra Xanax for a week and a potent version of Motrin called Indocin but that’s it. I have clonidine but it never did a thing for me so it sat on the shelf.

There is a difference between stopping Suboxone and being off of Suboxone. I tapered and suffered at times and toward the end suffered quite a lot, then I stopped taking it completely and for a very short time I suffered a lot more, and then it all just ended and I am now off of Suboxone. I’m not 100% my best self (yet), but I am comfortable, clear-headed, functional, optimistic and I have put the orange lie behind me. As far as long-term healing or damage goes, who knows? For now, I’m going to enjoy this hard-earned win. Like Anna wrote to me with a song…I did it my way. What ever your heart tells you to do just keep following it, my chains are your chains and we build the pile of them together. If there is anything I can ever do to help anyone, ever, just ask and I am there.

Peace Bitches.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby CatsMeow » Fri Feb 16, 2018 5:06 pm

All I have to say is THANK YOU DOC! Telling the good, the bad & the ugly in depth is a great help to all that are here tapering, jumping, or lurking.

Your tale is one of perseverance from start to finish. You came, you saw, and you conquered. I'm so happy for you. I wish that your long slow taper would have afforded you a simple walk off on the acute. But that didn't happen. That WBRLS sounded brutal. You made it anyway! I'm so very very proud of you.

Then, you offer to help others in the sincerest way. I'm in total awe of your experience and your ability to share it so that others coming along behind you have this great information.

I hope that every day gets better & better for you. You've earned it my friend. And I'm proud to call you my friend.

With Much Love,
Dena
Pills August 2009 to 4/14/2017
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Annalo57 » Fri Feb 16, 2018 7:09 pm

Hey Doc. You sound so so good. I feel privileged to know you and to have been even just a small part of your journey. Very happy to hear that the worst is over for you. Moving forward, given everything you've endured, I think it's gonna be a cake walk. Keep posting. We all need you here.

XOXO

Anna
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Feb 17, 2018 8:20 am

That was EXACTLY the post I was hoping to see..... well, I mean not really... I wish it was all easy and painless for you.. but this is real life and there is no chance for that.. so I’m glad you made it thru the acute..keep up the good work doc
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Re: 16mg for 10 years...20 Month Taper...Jumped 4 days Ago

Postby Rascal123 » Sun Feb 18, 2018 10:01 am

smiling ear to ear! inspirational for us all. Thanks for all the information.. it can be done. A true fighter!
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