Mare counts down from 8

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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby cheeps » Sat Dec 23, 2017 10:35 am

Yeah...I know what you mean....I'll just try to fix them as I see them.

Hope you are well today baby.
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Sat Dec 23, 2017 5:47 pm

Thanks Cheeps! I'm doing surprisingly well. I guess I accidentally skipped a dose over the past two days. Just kept accidentally dosing late and eventually it added up until I got back to the 'right" dosing time. So I lost 1mg. But I'm okay. Guess I'm attributing it to the winter time. It's been getting below freezing each night here which is crazy for the town I live in. Ugh.

I woke up with a big swollen pocket around my wisdom tooth. I'm scared to have it removed because my family dentist knows my history and won't put me out for the operation, then mocks me for being scared about it. What an ass. I know I'm preaching to the choir here but I don't know how many more times I can go to ER for antibiotics for the thing so I don't lose my jaw. Lesser of two evils... Not sure who is who here. Ah well. Biotene, flossing, and lots of water are in my future. And grapefruit seed extract. That helps too. It's more puffy than ever before so I'm a little nervous.

The final count down begins. I think I'm gonna fake propose to my boyfriend. Just a little worried about doing it in front of his mom. But it would be more believable that way, even if it's only for an instant. I think a prank is the right way to go with presenting the Weird Al meet and greet tickets.. better than opening a tiny box and not really understanding what he's looking at. Here's what it'd look like: on one knee with the jewelry box with a rolled up ticket inside: "(his name here), from the moment I met you, I knew you were a fucking weirdo just like me. You are everything, and I want to spend the night of may 19 with you in the fourth row." Opens the box "will you make me the happiest woman on Earth and meet Weird Al with me?" It's a work in progress. I guess I could run it by his mom so I don't give her a heart attack.
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby cheeps » Sat Dec 23, 2017 7:18 pm

Mare wrote:Thanks Cheeps! I'm doing surprisingly well. I guess I accidentally skipped a dose over the past two days. Just kept accidentally dosing late and eventually it added up until I got back to the 'right" dosing time. So I lost 1mg. But I'm okay. Guess I'm attributing it to the winter time. It's been getting below freezing each night here which is crazy for the town I live in. Ugh.

I woke up with a big swollen pocket around my wisdom tooth. I'm scared to have it removed because my family dentist knows my history and won't put me out for the operation, then mocks me for being scared about it. What an ass. I know I'm preaching to the choir here but I don't know how many more times I can go to ER for antibiotics for the thing so I don't lose my jaw. Lesser of two evils... Not sure who is who here. Ah well. Biotene, flossing, and lots of water are in my future. And grapefruit seed extract. That helps too. It's more puffy than ever before so I'm a little nervous.

The final count down begins. I think I'm gonna fake propose to my boyfriend. Just a little worried about doing it in front of his mom. But it would be more believable that way, even if it's only for an instant. I think a prank is the right way to go with presenting the Weird Al meet and greet tickets.. better than opening a tiny box and not really understanding what he's looking at. Here's what it'd look like: on one knee with the jewelry box with a rolled up ticket inside: "(his name here), from the moment I met you, I knew you were a fucking weirdo just like me. You are everything, and I want to spend the night of may 19 with you in the fourth row." Opens the box "will you make me the happiest woman on Earth and meet Weird Al with me?" It's a work in progress. I guess I could run it by his mom so I don't give her a heart attack.




That's sounds fantastic!! I'd love to be a fly on the wall for that one!!

Look...
About the tooth? Have you had one taken out before? If you have to, go to another oral surgeon....your dentist is being a fucking asshole....

I've had too many teeth pulled...I inherited bad teeth from my dad's side of the fams...that plus me not giving a shit when I was 11-12...all added up to rotten teeth. I've had 18 root canals and four regular teeth pulled. Ive taken extremely good care of them since I was 20.... but still have issues and I could've bought a nice house with the money I've spent on my mouth. :ogeez: :gaah:

Get some clove oil and use sparingly....it helps but you need to make sure it's not too strong.

I used to love going to the dentist for the laughing gas....that shit was the most fun I've ever had in a medical setting!
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Sat Dec 23, 2017 11:20 pm

Yes, the laughing gas is the reason they started asking questions.. and I was still a minor so my grandma answered for me. I was left alone in the room and the machine was right next to me. I turned that shit UP! I should have played dumb but I couldn't stop giggling. Naughty little Mare.. well, those days are over.

So I got my wisdom teeth pretty early but the dentist reccomended that we remove only 2 at a time. I never came back for the 2nd removal and when I did they refused to put me under. I was clean at the time and they said I might sue them if after they put me under I got high and blamed them for a relapse! They said some man did that and they don't want me to. I think it's bullshit. So you're basically saying you can treat no addicts, clean or otherwise, with anything but local anaesthesia. BS.

Yes I'll have to find someone new. I'll figure it out. I should have taken care of this sooner. I lose my insurance in a week, and I can't get an appointment with county insurance the last week of the year. Boy am I fucked for now.
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby cheeps » Sun Dec 24, 2017 7:12 am

All I can say is fucking OUCH.
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Sun Dec 24, 2017 10:03 pm

Ouch indeed. Well taking special attention with my teeth had helped, the pocket has gotten smaller for now. I'm chewing on the other side to try to avoid anything getting stuck and avoiding picking at it with my tongue. No pain.

Yesterday I really struggled, had the yawns and leaky face from about 10pm until 2 am (pm dose time). I think it's from my "lost dose" and from having such a hectic work day. At the Walgreens I work at, we are top in sales in the area but have the same amount of staff as the others. Means a lot more work. We also have a huge boom in the photo department during the holidays, and I run Photo. I was basically running in circles all day, printing, loading ink and paper, binding calendars and photo books and building canvas prints, counting envelopes for greeting cards, packaging, and ringing up customers, nonstop. It's fun, and I can handle it, but fuck sometimes it gets to be too much! Especially since my "female troubles" came in the midst of it all. Lost dose, being responsible for the fulfillment of last minute gifts for hundreds of people, and my period.. makes for a rough day.

I'm back on track now with my dosing schedule. Feeling okay today. Big thing that's on my mind is I am thinking about the dietary recommendations​ regarding the taper and I'm considering trying to go vegan. My dinner last night was vegan chili, my lunch today was a vegan burrito bowl.. I got my boyfriend to get me a food processor for Christmas to make it easier.

I hate the meat industry and I love animals. I know it's a big decision to make right now but I'm telling myself it doesn't have to be permanent but it wouldn't hurt to try. I'm going to experiment and see how it goes. I do feel a lot better, less lethargic, and less bloating. It's only been a day, but I want to see where this goes. I usually eat meals that are just straight meat and carbs, and I never feel very good or energized. I think I could do without the hard to digest fatty foods and would benefit greatly from eating plant based. I'm gonna find some good vegan recipes for my favorite comfort foods and see how I fare. I'd love to eat more spinach and Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes. Plus I always said I could live off rice. And I don't digest cheese as well as I used to. Since I started my taper I've had a gas problem and I think maybe meat is the culprit. We'll see what happens. I love cooking, so it'll be a fun little experiment if nothing else.

Hope you are all having a good Christmas Eve. Lots of love.

Mare
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby cheeps » Mon Dec 25, 2017 12:40 pm

Mare wrote:Ouch indeed. Well taking special attention with my teeth had helped, the pocket has gotten smaller for now. I'm chewing on the other side to try to avoid anything getting stuck and avoiding picking at it with my tongue. No pain.

Yesterday I really struggled, had the yawns and leaky face from about 10pm until 2 am (pm dose time). I think it's from my "lost dose" and from having such a hectic work day. At the Walgreens I work at, we are top in sales in the area but have the same amount of staff as the others. Means a lot more work. We also have a huge boom in the photo department during the holidays, and I run Photo. I was basically running in circles all day, printing, loading ink and paper, binding calendars and photo books and building canvas prints, counting envelopes for greeting cards, packaging, and ringing up customers, nonstop. It's fun, and I can handle it, but fuck sometimes it gets to be too much! Especially since my "female troubles" came in the midst of it all. Lost dose, being responsible for the fulfillment of last minute gifts for hundreds of people, and my period.. makes for a rough day.

I'm back on track now with my dosing schedule. Feeling okay today. Big thing that's on my mind is I am thinking about the dietary recommendations​ regarding the taper and I'm considering trying to go vegan. My dinner last night was vegan chili, my lunch today was a vegan burrito bowl.. I got my boyfriend to get me a food processor for Christmas to make it easier.

I hate the meat industry and I love animals. I know it's a big decision to make right now but I'm telling myself it doesn't have to be permanent but it wouldn't hurt to try. I'm going to experiment and see how it goes. I do feel a lot better, less lethargic, and less bloating. It's only been a day, but I want to see where this goes. I usually eat meals that are just straight meat and carbs, and I never feel very good or energized. I think I could do without the hard to digest fatty foods and would benefit greatly from eating plant based. I'm gonna find some good vegan recipes for my favorite comfort foods and see how I fare. I'd love to eat more spinach and Brussels sprouts and sweet potatoes. Plus I always said I could live off rice. And I don't digest cheese as well as I used to. Since I started my taper I've had a gas problem and I think maybe meat is the culprit. We'll see what happens. I love cooking, so it'll be a fun little experiment if nothing else.

Hope you are all having a good Christmas Eve. Lots of love.

Mare



I think that is an excellent idea Mare....I know you'll feel better!! It's hard for me,to give up cheese....that's the only part I don't like about it...so there's that.

Hope you are having a great day...I am! I'm at home by myself online window shopping and eating cookie. I made last night.

Merry Christmas Tree!
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Dcleanist » Mon Dec 25, 2017 6:33 pm

Wow mare

You know plants have feelings too. I can only picture summer. It's okay misquote drink. I don't mind malaria. I won't eat you buddy. Lol. Sorry I love how people feel guilty of there environment. It's okay to be a mammal. Vegg on. Peace
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Tue Dec 26, 2017 6:31 am

I mean yeah D, it's one thing if a mosquito bites me but another if they round us up, put us in cages, force us to breed and take away our babies to drink on, and hook us up to blood machines to bottle it up and turn a profit. Being against animal cruelty isn't the same thing as denying the fact that humans have survived on an omnivorous diet for the most part through history. The methods used today to run the meat industry is nothing like it once was. But I digress. I kind of just hate humanity as a whole.

Speaking of, I'm up late watching Cosmos alone and having an existential crisis. Basically Neil DeGrasse Tyson is telling me that we will never matter anyways because our whole place is gonna blow up in a supernova. So who gives a shit anyways. I'm just a speck of bacteria in a giant petri dish that only favored mammals because one asteroid hit another asteroid thereby changing it's course and eventually killing off dinosaurs and giving rise to the future of humanity. Fucking asteroids.

Also dogs were originally cops. But it turned out they were cool. Go figure.
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Dcleanist » Tue Dec 26, 2017 10:29 am

First my bad if I offended you. Too much eggnog to the fried brain.

I thought you where talking about China at first but than got the mosquito analogy. And I will watch my dog die but he changed me to change you to change into something hot. Lol. It takes all to make the world go round. Peace
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby cheeps » Tue Dec 26, 2017 11:26 am

I always thought of the universe encased in a crystal 3inch square paperweight on some aliens coffee table. Nice little gewjaw... :shrug: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Wed Dec 27, 2017 9:50 am

No worries D. I get it, it's just not so simple as how we try to think about it. I know it's a touchy subject, and I'm not here on a crusade, but it's actually a really important thing. Animal agriculture is a bigger force of destruction on our environment than all the vehicles in the world. Basically we're gonna destroy the world with cow farts and cow shit. It's miserable. It takes 2,500 gallons of water, 12 pounds of grain, and 35 pounds of topsoil to produce one pound of beef. Put that in your pipe and smoke it! Actually don't smoke it, smoking is bad for you and the environment.

I'm gonna go through with this vegan thing. I'm eating all my food that has cheese in the fridge now and making the switch in the next day or two once it's all gone. I got a food processor to aid in making things like hummus and vegan meatballs, and a mini fridge to keep prepped meals and leftovers in. I have gathered up some really good resources and ideas for meals and I really think I can do this. I'm actually really excited. For anyone interested, check out the documentary Cowspiracy on Netflix. It'll really shake up the way you feel about the animal agricultural industry. Cow shit and farts are destroying the environment, and activists are being killed for speaking out about it. Why? Because if the public knew the truth, they'd be outraged. Something to think about!



Okay, enough on that. I'm dropping to 1.75mg today. I have been at 2mg for 11 days. I'm gonna stay here for another 10, and reevaluate between 10 and 14 days. I had my final suboxone meeting last week and I have more than enough supply for the rest of my taper so that's exciting. I haven't told my doctor yet, but I plan on contacting him torward the end of January to discuss what I've been doing and whether we will be able to meet for detox meds when the time comes. I'm feeling really good about things.

The holidays were okay. Kind of tough, but good. I got to see my family earlier in the week for a dining out, exchanged gifts, hung with the kid cousins. Had fun with that. Went to boyfriend's mom's for the big night and the big day, set up with Christmas tree, bonded with his mom, took photos of the gift exchange, and helped with the food. I had a few moments (okay, hours) where I was feeling really antisocial and irritable. The holidays are always weird for me. My family is really disconnected and we don't do gifts or family meals or celebrate traditions, we kind of just get cash and maybe a hug. Nothing special, and I get jealous of other families even when I'm a part of it. Hanging ornaments made me feel sad because it's something I haven't done since I was a kid. Seeing BF's mom get nervous about whether her gifts were good enough or not made me lonely, my mom is in a facility for battered women.. not because her husband hurt her, just because she wants a divorce and had no where to go and cried wolf. She keeps calling it emotional abuse but she has accused every man in her life of abuse when she just uses people until they can't deal with her crap anymore and so they stop babying her and she finds some sorry way out.. another man usually, and the cycle begins anew.

At least I got to have my moment, I went through with my prank proposal to my boyfriend. The look on his face was priceless, he jumped back in his seat when I knelt down. He's not the marrying type and I wanted to give him a good scare. I had a perfectly sized box for the meet and greet tickets for the Weird Al show and I rolled the tickets into a ring and presented it on bended knee with the words, "Matt, from the moment I met you, I knew you were a big fucking weirdo, just like me. I want to spend at least the next 5 months with you. Will you make me the happiest girl in the world and go with me to meet Weird Al?" Ah, so much fun! I'd highly recommend pulling this stunt if you ever get the chance, but ladies only! Not recommended for men, too much at stake!
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Dcleanist » Wed Dec 27, 2017 10:03 am

Hey mare. There is no right answer just a more wrong one. And yes I'm a moron and pick the wrongest.

If I could only feed the cows to the lions to save there extinction I would. Eat what makes you feel okay. Ok.

I love jokes except when I'm the joke. Guess the truth will save you right after it condemns you. Your getting lower with your dose. Congrats and I will make sure they start making a vegan sub. Just for you. Mwah peace
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby CatsMeow » Thu Dec 28, 2017 2:43 pm

Congrats on dropping to 1.75 Mare! I hope you're feeling well today. I totally understand why you're changing your eating habits. I'm also finding that as I drop the food that I'm eating is playing a big role in how I feel. What I eat is something that I can control here. My stomach has become my barometer of sorts.

I don't think I'll go vegan, but I must eat really good fruits & veggies. I'm having some nausea & stomach cramps after a drop now. I think it's going to become even more important the lower I go.

Glad you pulled off your Weird Al trick on your boy friend. I bet the look on his face was priceless!
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Thu Dec 28, 2017 10:18 pm

Yes! Exactly Cat! I feel like my diet is one of the few things I have control over! And I've only been fully vegan for 24 hours at this point, but I'm already noticing a change. I haven't had any gas which is huge! I think cutting the animal products has really helped my gut issues which is great.

So far I have no complaints! I had a delicious smoothie for breakfast with coconut water, fresh pineapple, mangoes, and spinach. I made some fresh hummus and had that for a snack, and I had a pasta with basil and tomatoes for lunch at the restaurant next door to my job.

Something I'm noticing is I'm getting used to the baseline shitty feeling that comes with the taper. I feel okay with the sweats. I yawn all the time, and I'm having some thick mucous in the back of my throat which is something that used to drive me crazy but it just kind of "is" at this point.

Last night I had a bout of RLS that was pretty unbearable at the time, but I decided to just sleep it off and woke up fine. I actually slept normal last night! I passed out at 2am watching The Fall with Gillian Anderson and woke up at noon. That was a great 10 hour sleep! I'm beginning to understand the 2mg sweet spot.
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby CatsMeow » Fri Dec 29, 2017 10:34 am

Wow Mare that's great that by changing your diet you've cut out the gas. That's a big one for me. A serious diet change is a must for me now.

I believe it was Eyedotz that stated that we would get used to the baseline shitty feeling just like you're describing. I had the yawns yesterday too. I just blew it off. I've also experienced the mucous thing & I think I took something for that. Let me see what's in my arsenal if you would like some relief from that.

So the RLS hit you last night? You certainly handled it well! Getting 10 hours of sleep is fantastic. I'm really looking forward to that 2 mg sweet spot too. Kudos to you for dropping to 1.75! You're so dedicated to your taper. It's truly inspiring!
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby CatsMeow » Sun Dec 31, 2017 11:20 am

Hey Mare, how are you doing? How is 1.75 mg's feeling? I'm hoping that its very uneventful. You're tapering with patience & a plan that you don't veer from. Truly impressive.

Wishing you a very Happy New Year. I believe that very good things are in store for us in 2018. Sure, we both have a ways to go, but we're doing it low & slow & that's what counts now.
XOXO
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby Mare » Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:02 pm

Things are great! My strips are getting really tiny, I actually lost a piece in my purse lol which was annoying but felt good that they're so small.

Against someone's advice on here way earlier in my thread I continued to place my sub on my below my teeth, between my lower lip and lower gum. It really helps because I have issues with putting it under my tongue.. my mouth instantly fills up with saliva and it all dissolves and washes around my mouth. When I put it between my lip and gum it slowly dissolves over the course of around an hour and I feel that I'm getting a higher level of bioavailability. The other day my finger was damp and it got stuck on my fingertip. I had to put it under my tongue to get it off my finger. I hated it washing around my mouth like that and I had a hard night. Being more careful now.

I'm on day 4 of fully vegan! It's working great. Love it so far. Had vegan Mac and cheese, made some breakfast bars, and a curry veggie soup. Lots of smoothies, spinach salads.

1.75mg is fine. No real complaints. Some tummy anger when I wake up, but pretty good!

Happy New year to Cat and the rest of yas!
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby cheeps » Sun Dec 31, 2017 7:50 pm

Awww, you two sound so good together...I see you as jumpbuddies for many reasons. Today my tummy is rebelling...when I was gone I ate too many sweets...but today I've totally ignored that tray of cake. I'm going to freeze it and take it to my client...they let her eat anything because they really don't understand the whole diet issue.

I just thank DietDoc for opening my eyes about all this and mare, I'm so happy you are going vegan. I live in the middle of nowhere.....organics are usually not fresh at all. I need to find recipes that I can eat. It's funny how you can instantly feel how your system/stomach reacts to what you put in it.

I look forward to all your comments on diet...and the mac and cheese recipe...is there a vegan for that?
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Re: Mare counts down from 8

Postby CatsMeow » Mon Jan 01, 2018 11:19 am

I totally understand dosing between your lower lip & lower gum. I did it for months because under my tongue got so raw & sore. I also think that you get better bioavailability dosing that way. I still do it every now & then to give the area under my tongue a break. Also I use eyebrow tweezers to set my dose in my mouth so that it doesn't get stuck on my finger.

Let me pass along some advice. If you decide to go back to dosing under your tongue, don't do that plus a new dose drop at the same time. I did that & it was the worst dose taper that I've ever had. I really lost it. Just FYI.

Congrats on doing the vegan thing. My stomach isn't very happy with me after my Holiday eating. Oh well, I'll get back on track tomorrow.

So glad to hear that you're doing well on 1.75. How long are you staying on each dose? Just wondering. You're much younger than me so I think it takes me longer to stabilize. Oh well, I'm still going down in dose so I'll be okay as long as I continue to do that.

Is there anything that you're taking when your tummy acts up? Mine does that too, so just looking for advice.

Happy New Year Mare! Let's make 2018 our year to be opy/sub free. We can do it!
XOXO
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