Maggie Mays taper thread

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Maggie Mays taper thread

Postby maggiemay » Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:11 pm

I have been on sub since 2006. 11 years and I am so very grateful I've found you guys. I am going to continue to hang in the back ground for a while. I want to get off- This drug hasn't been a good thing for me for the past 4 years and getting off has to be possible. I have hope from reading through this thread. Thanks to everyone that contributes. just wanted to say hello. Just signing on has been the 1st step toward getting off for me- as pathetic as that sounds, I feel like I've taken the 1st step
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Sat Sep 16, 2017 6:12 am

You have Maggie.....please read around and get familiar with the ACTIVE TOPICS list in the center of front page....that's the one that keeps you updated.

But most of what will help you is in the sub sux part.

Welcome to SS...home of the diehard subtaperers!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
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Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Lucy » Sun Sep 17, 2017 9:14 am

maggiemay wrote:I have been on sub since 2006. 11 years and I am so very grateful I've found you guys. I am going to continue to hang in the back ground for a while. I want to get off- This drug hasn't been a good thing for me for the past 4 years and getting off has to be possible. I have hope from reading through this thread. Thanks to everyone that contributes. just wanted to say hello. Just signing on has been the 1st step toward getting off for me- as pathetic as that sounds, I feel like I've taken the 1st step


Hi, Maggie, I think I got something to say to you. (Used to love that song.) You're a very long-term user. It would help us to know what dose you're on and if you've got a taper plan yet. Let us know when you're ready to post about it. We'll be here. The really long threads in this subforum tend to be the most informative. I'll be watching for your next post. Welcome to subsux. :thumbup:
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby maggiemay » Sun Sep 17, 2017 12:05 pm

Hi Maggiemay is my beloved English bulldog, shes gone 2 years in November and when I hear that song I burst into tears :)
I was put on suboxone 24mg a day for pain management. I am a recovering heroin addict. I haven't used dope since 98. I was clean of all drugs until 2004 when I had an accident and ended up with A spinal cord injury. The use of pain pills got out of control very fast soooo I started the sub. I have been up and down in mg's over the years. somedays/ weeks as little as 8mg to as much as 32 . NEVER without. I only stopped them once for 5 days, I went cold turkey to prepare for a spinal fusion in 2011. The restless leg or I should saY THE intense lower torso convulsions where outrages. I started pain pills again after the surgery for 4 mnths, then back on 32 mgs sub a day since. I felt great on sub for about 6 years, A fix all for me. In the pst 3 years I have lost all motivation to do anything, im like a dull shell. It has recently worsened when I switched from Suboxone to bup/ nalox. due to insurance switching. I notice since the switch in Feb my depression has worsened. Thanks for reaching out and ill be surfing AROUND the site, to answer your question about wanting to taper, the answer is I want to get off sub, tapering, pills, dope or even my prior attempts with sub, I have never been able to taper, I've always did cold turkey, I do not know if I will be able to tapper, I have even gone so far to convince my self to get back on pills and cold turkeys from them, at least then I am in familiar territory. I know my thinking is very toxic right now,
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby maggiemay » Mon Sep 18, 2017 6:21 pm

Hi everyone, I am sorry I jumped in and all over your conversation. I am getting use to navigating around all the topics, I didn't mean any disrespect by posting in the middle of your conversation :) peace

Dreaming of a life that's possible because I found you guys
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby DietDoc » Tue Sep 19, 2017 1:56 am

maggiemay wrote:Hi everyone, I am sorry I jumped in and all over your conversation. I am getting use to navigating around all the topics, I didn't mean any disrespect by posting in the middle of your conversation :) peace

Dreaming of a life that's possible because I found you guys



Magggggggs:

There is absolutely no worries about jumping in. If people want to keep an exchange mono a mono we use private messaging (which is also the only source of sex for all of us...OK just some of us...OK only for me, but I digress). The more you share the better the sight, period.

Stick around for some of the best interjected comments when Cheeps has make us pull the car over and make us kids stop fighting. Sometimes she give us a time out makes us stand in the corner. I'm heading there for sure, given my rants lately.

Two last thoughts for you: You'll get to live whatever life you choose and this forum will support and facilitate that choice...

And two, please stop interrupting when we're trying to exchange idea, you're constantly imposing your radical opinions on everyone and trying to run my life. Oh wait, that's me. Never mind.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 9+ years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Tapering @ < .5 mg/d
Alprazolam: Tapered off May 2016 - Started again October 2017 currently tapering again
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Lucy » Tue Sep 19, 2017 9:08 am

maggiemay wrote:Hi Maggiemay is my beloved English bulldog, shes gone 2 years in November and when I hear that song I burst into tears :)
I was put on suboxone 24mg a day for pain management. I am a recovering heroin addict. I haven't used dope since 98. I was clean of all drugs until 2004 when I had an accident and ended up with A spinal cord injury. The use of pain pills got out of control very fast soooo I started the sub. I have been up and down in mg's over the years. somedays/ weeks as little as 8mg to as much as 32 . NEVER without. I only stopped them once for 5 days, I went cold turkey to prepare for a spinal fusion in 2011. The restless leg or I should saY THE intense lower torso convulsions where outrages. I started pain pills again after the surgery for 4 mnths, then back on 32 mgs sub a day since. I felt great on sub for about 6 years, A fix all for me. In the pst 3 years I have lost all motivation to do anything, im like a dull shell. It has recently worsened when I switched from Suboxone to bup/ nalox. due to insurance switching. I notice since the switch in Feb my depression has worsened. Thanks for reaching out and ill be surfing AROUND the site, to answer your question about wanting to taper, the answer is I want to get off sub, tapering, pills, dope or even my prior attempts with sub, I have never been able to taper, I've always did cold turkey, I do not know if I will be able to tapper, I have even gone so far to convince my self to get back on pills and cold turkeys from them, at least then I am in familiar territory. I know my thinking is very toxic right now,


MaggieMay, like me and some others here, you're a bit older now. It's definitely harder to cold turkey as you age. So give yourself the option to taper if you end up finding just jumping off your current dose too hard. Some people do switch to a short-acting opiate and detox from that, so it's not necessarily toxic thinking. But you know yourself better than anyone and if you see that as the demon on your shoulder whispering in your ear you are wise to listen.

So from what you said it seems like your dose has been very high a lot of the time. What dose exactly have you been taking the last few weeks and have you stopped cold turkey yet? It's a good idea to start your own thread in the Sub Sux subforum as your posts will get lost among all the others in this thread. If you don't know how to do that I'm sure Cheeps will make one for you. Or I'll make one for you if you want.
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby maggiemay » Thu Sep 21, 2017 4:51 pm

Hi, I have been getting lost reading through all the posts and experience here you all have. I have been all over the place with my dosing since I was switched from suboxone to Buprenorphine/ Naloxone by Actavis, pills in February. This is when all the depression and feeling like the med turned on me started. I donot think they are as strong and they give me that dirty med feeling (I guess its the fillers in it). Is anyone else familiar with actavis? I really donot think they are as strong as Suboxone. I have went down from dosing 3x daily to 2x daily. So I went from 24mg to 16mg a day. At one point I was taking 4mg 2x daily for years and felt great. I am not sure when or why I went back up and got so out of control with dosing for YEars now BUT I cannot stand myself any more. I am going to be 51 yrs old and I have been stagnated and alone for years and I know its from suboxone. I am going to work on getting back to 8mg a day, which for me from past experience will not be difficult as when I did this in the past i have always felt better on lesser dose and never experienced and discomfort from that drop. I am not saying that this is something that is to be minimized for those who have worked really hard to get down to 8, everyone is so different in this process. I am pathetic when it comes to detoxing and will need all the support i can get below 8. I also am doing this in secret. There are only 2 people that know i am on sub. my doctor and 1 friend. Someone please tell me if i am posting in the wrong place and have a good night,
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Lucy » Thu Sep 21, 2017 11:31 pm

MaggieMay, there's no "wrong" place to post here, but making your own thread would be a good idea so we can find your posts and keep up with what's happening with you. To do that just go to the top left of this page where it says:
Board index ‹ Sub Sux
Click on Sub Sux it will take you to this subforum's index page. Near the top left you'll see a button with red text that says NewTopic. Click that and enter a title for your thread in the Subject field, then say something in the text entry box and scroll way down and click submit. Now your own thread will appear in the list with all the rest with the title you put in the Subject box. At the top of the list there's a few "sticky" threads that always appear at the top. But yours will be just below those. You can PM me if you'd like help with this.

Many people here have said they began to feel the buprenorphine caused depression and seemed to turn on them. It may just be coincidence that it started happening after you changed to the Actavis formulation. How long ago did you drop from 24mg to 16mg?

I'm a little older than you and I recently made a 10mg drop (from 22mg to 12) and after several days I had some issues. Nothing too bad, but I was shocked because I had expected to feel no different. If I could go back I would have stuck with 4mg drops every fortnight because 6 weeks later I'm still having sweats, headaches and mood swings. My advice to you is don't rush by dropping straight to 8mg. Do a few 4 or 2mg drops and give yourself a couple of weeks to stabilize in between.

It's always a good idea to post here what your plan is before making a drop so you can get some feedback on it first. We can tend to want to get it all done right now and when we're going through withdrawal our thinking might not be so clear at times.
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Fri Sep 22, 2017 6:49 am

Ya, post away Maggie May. It's all good. I'm glad u found the site, for me that was the first step in considering and beginning to believe I could slowly taper my way free of the chains of suboxone use.

Dd, cheeps and Lucy., I'm still at .75 but I've finally finished the work project I was busting butt to get done so I'm gonna do a drop to .6mg tomo.
I'm only sleeping a few hours at a clip so hopefully that doesn't get any worse..
love u all, slow and steady and we'll get there (I hope):)
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Maggie Mays taper thread

Postby maggiemay » Sat Sep 23, 2017 7:18 pm

Hello everyone. I talked to ex client I ran into today who told me about her 3 year taper staying at 2mg. She shared that she ended up having to take FMLA at her job because the detox was so hard when she jumped. Long story-short. She has no idea that I am in the situation I am in as its my dirty little secret, I used to work in a rehab as a substance abuse counselor.
I Am feeling so hopeless, the reason I have never tried to get off before has always came down to my job. There is no-way I am going to be able to get through this without taking time off is there?
I have never been able to taper off of anything. I was a frequent flyer in and out of detoxes in the 90's. In 98 I ended up cold turkey in rikers island jail and that is where I changed my thinking and after 6 months in jail I stayed clean until I had a accident and I thought in 2006 I was making a responsible decision with my doctors to go on sub for pain due to my addictive personality. WELL (unfortunately) I am no longer a "menace to society" and I doubt I will end up arrested and forced to detox. OH MY GOD, I am crazy, I actually wish I could be court mandated or locked up and have no choice but to detox like the good ol days. I am just venting here, I do realize how ridicules I sound. I do not have any one to carry me to be able to take time off. I live check to check and I am solely responsible for paying all bills, UHG
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby maggiemay » Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:15 pm

Well I have reeled my self back in here. I read through member nomojo3479 »and Psilver063 posts and it helped me mentally get back on track. Wow theres hope
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Sat Sep 23, 2017 8:46 pm

Ya there is some hope. There are a lot of threads where people have completed tapers..
chhezeeandee, eyedotz, blindass, are all handles of people on here who have good completed taper threads.. a bunch of others also.. it can def be done.

Maggie that funny about working at a rehab. I used to work in that field... I'm glad I'm in a much less emotionally complicated field now (construction).
Cheeps good luck with the interview.. I'm rooting for u:)
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Lucy » Mon Sep 25, 2017 4:16 am

MaggieMay, if there's no way you can take time off work then tapering may be your best option. You will definitely find that detoxing is very different now to what you are used to when you were under 40. It's extra hard when you don't have anyone you can confide in about all of this. Someone to hold your bup and help you taper would be so helpful. There's an incredible amount of good info in the threads here and they're very inspiring.
Last edited by cheeps on Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: merge topic...took out piece not relevant
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 25, 2017 11:26 am

Just a note for Maggie may...you can do this....you are taking the first steps now and putting yourself in our little group! These people are so knowledgeable and everyone's experience is so valid.

Y'all be sure to read Psilver thread as he has put a link to an audio in it. Giving back...that is what everyone here does and why I'm so proud of all of you that post!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby maggiemay » Mon Sep 25, 2017 3:34 pm

Hi Nomojo- I have been reading a lot of threads and I realize that I totally hijacked your
thread, I am so sorry!!! I am going to set up my own like Lucy has suggested a few times now and cheeps too!
You guys are all such an inspiration that I will be able to taper.
Mojo I also am so glad I am no longer working in the field for the same reason as you! However, construction cant be easy with your drop! your doing great!!! I am in a cubicle most of my day, then in conference room meetings under bright Florissant lighting with upper administration for hours. This is a promotional job I took 8 months ago and I can not take time off, I cant be in that setting going through withdrawal either. I have always metabolized meds very fast, and always withdraw really intensely.
Justs wanted to say hello. I have done 8 mg so far today, I will doing 4 more. This bup/ nalox wears off much faster then Suboxone. That is down from 32 for years until this past Thursday when I started paying attension to what I was taking. So I can say I am in my tapper now at 12 mg a day!
What should I name my thread so I don't lose you guys?
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:35 pm

I will help you....wait for me to split your topic. Go Maggie may!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Maggie Mays taper thread

Postby Psilver063 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 3:14 pm

I just want to jump in here and say welcome. I also want to add that I I believe there are windows we have in life that give us desire to stop doing something. What that something is depends on the person. For me I hit a window to get off of suboxone not long ago. And I took that desire, fueled it with support and got off. Maggie this could be your window. You are here searching for answers and that tells me you are in it. So take advantage of the desire, lay out a very slow and steady plan and let's keep this train moving!!!
OFF SUBOXONE SINCE 7/6/17. Tapered over 3.5 years from 8mg to .6mg and jumped.
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Postby maggiemay » Wed Sep 27, 2017 3:22 pm

Hi Cheeps thank you for creating my topic, I appreciate it!. Psilver I checked out your UTUBE video on MAT, your message is very inspiring. I am not sure what my end result will be with this tapper, I do have chronic pain and nerve damage that will need to be addressed as I come down in mg's. I do know that I cant just keep taking endless amounts of this stuff and not living and feeling completely useless. Life is passing me by. That's my window right now- for some reason I am, at this moment sick and tired of not feeling anything but sorrow.
I have been at 12 mg now since Thursday, down from 32mg. I had hot/ cold flashes and anxiety yesterday and I am assuming it was from the drop. I was always able to drop down to even as low as 8mg with no issues with sub strips. I am pretty convinced that the Naloxone/ Bup tabs I am taking since February aren't as strong and wear off faster. Which brings me to another thought. I am wondering if I should go through all the aggravation with my insurance to cover the strips or maybe I am better off with what I have as if it is weaker that may be better for tapering. I don no. Any one have any experience with using Actavis white tabs? I go see my dealer/ doctor tomorrow, I have been going to this same doctor, never missing an appointment for 11 years straight with the exception of when I switched to pain meds in 2011 for 4 months, and that was all arranged between my sub doc, who is my primary and my neurosurgeon. I know this is a active addiction way of thinking but I am not going to tell my primary I am dropping yet, I want to get my normal 90 script. I say my dealer because if I think about it, I show up for those appointments the same way I showed up to cope my dope, rain sleet or whatever I had to do to meet my dealer. I was one who praised everything suboxne for many years, I was an active member on NAABt message board, that isn't around anymore. Sub cured everything that was wrong with me from depression to pain to social anxiety issues. BUT it has done all the opposite to me over the past 4 or 5 years, I am a hermit, isolated and depressed. I can relate to who ever said "once it turns on you" its over....anyway babbling and checking in because having this place to check into each day weather I post or not is what's keeping me focused on the mission. Thanks guys for letting me be a part of.
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Re: Maggie Mays taper thread

Postby maggiemay » Thu Sep 28, 2017 5:28 pm

Hello all, Ido not know if anyone is even reading my posts since i have my own threadI know i am being completely self centered by coming here and checking to see if anyone has posted anything in my thread and giving no feedback to others, i will get there, give feedback to others and not be so selfish in time. I am just feeling useless to anyone else right now and cant even seem to be able to use my words when i want to give feedback. I am signing in a few times aday and reading reading reading. I think i am gonna need to fight he fight with my insurance to get the strips back again, i don't see how im gonna be able to split these pills into smaller mg's.
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