Day 10 after 7 yrs

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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Tue Aug 29, 2017 1:09 am

cheeps wrote:Coming up on 90 soon. How's those legs?


That's right Cheeps. 90 days tomorrow @ 1pm. :shred:

My legs are getting better the longer I spend on them. I probably sat in a chair for the first 2 months of this, last 30 days have been a blur. Still learning how to survive social situations in crowded places, I'm not very good at sitting still in public for any number of seconds. All a work in-progress but it's my masterpiece.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby DietDoc » Tue Aug 29, 2017 8:27 am

Is there a 90 day 'nana?!?! If there is, Sub7 should get a bushel! Amazing. Great job. When you get your bushel, save me just one...you might have to freeze it but I'm coming for it; and when I do it's good people like you that shared their pain and led the way. Thanks and keep those lights on.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Lucy » Wed Aug 30, 2017 7:42 am

It's Wednesday here already so I'll congratulate you on your 90 days now. Yeeeehaaa!! Well done, Sub4Seven. Seven long years and now you are a free man. You've been a wonderful inspiration and shared some very helpful knowledge here.
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:26 am

:shred: :banana: :banana: :banana: :shred:

Thanks DietDoc and Lucy. I'm definitely in great company. :cheers2:
You both will have your day, I wouldn't trade the last 90 days for another 7 years if they were my last on Earth, that's no bullshit. Don't pass this opportunity up, not this one.

I am always happy, like truly happy, not just an emotion that swings up and down based on the day. Even when I'm angry, I'm still happy. I've always had terrible anxiety (been waking up between 4-5am everyday throwing up bile for last 15 years) and I used to say that people don't understand disabilities they can't see, but the guy with 1 leg at least has a healthy brain. There is no substitute for that, no therapy, no medication, no exercise, no diet. I spent 3 hours in a dentist chair today and then 6 hours with the plumber snaking out clogged pipes in my house and fixing leaks until 11pm, and I didn't mind one fucking iota. Have to be up early too, fuck it, I have the energy and the attitude so why not? What a fucking ride, best roller coaster I've ever been on.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:10 am

:banana: :banana: :banana:

90 day rollercoaster ride!!!
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby amery2u » Thu Aug 31, 2017 11:55 pm

mynameisDAN82 wrote:
cheeps wrote:Now is a good time for you to read the Staying Clean part of the forum.


Yup :thumbup:

As most of us do, I jumped into sobriety blindfolded. We are so afraid of the physical pain attributed to detoxing that we ignore the much more complicated and important part of the process- keeping the course. I myself was slapped in the dick with this bit of reality and paid the price dearly.

Withdrawal symptoms are easily overcome because they are mostly physical and simple to recognize. The mental mind fuck of everyday life without a chemically altering substance to rely on is where the shit gets real.

Emotions will run high for awhile so try not to act upon them immediately. Fill your mind with positivity! Read motivational books. Think and Grow rich by Napolean Hill is a classic.

Congratulations on 60 days! Now it's time to get to work. :thumbup:


To the O/P .... Dan helped save me...glad to see you around again, man! Getting ready to haul 40K lbs of asphalt at 0200... ;) Couldn't have done this WITHOUT you .. and the others. You were integral, man. Thank you.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sat Sep 02, 2017 10:10 am

Sub4Sevenyrs wrote:I am always happy, like truly happy, not just an emotion that swings up and down based on the day. Even when I'm angry, I'm still happy.


Fuck yeah! I am happy for you man. I've got anxiety too, pretty damn bad, and I often find myself not wanting to do some social things, but I force myself and that feels good afterwards, but it is still a damn battle. I also know what you mean about people not understanding anxiety problems. I've had people tell me to just buck up and ignore the panic, and in a sense they are right, but it isn't something that another person can really logically explain how to do.
Congratulations on over 90 days off subs!
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And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 04, 2017 11:13 am

I'm finding out that a meaningful life is the key to my happiness.

Now if I could figure out better time management....I have always had issues with that. It's a big issue with me.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Mon Sep 04, 2017 11:51 am

CheeZeeAnnDee wrote: I've had people tell me to just buck up and ignore the panic, and in a sense they are right, but it isn't something that another person can really logically explain how to do.


You can't ignore "panic". Panic is just a word that neuro-typicals use to explain feelings of fear, excitement, nervousness, etc. What it really is, is the stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system which releases adrenaline directly causing heart rate to increase, pupils to dilate, lungs to relax to prepare to breathe harder/faster, and stops your digestive system in its tracks. You can't ignore that stuff, at least I can't. I just remember it's just a set of reactions causing me to feel "uncomfortable". It subsides, quicker if you can override the system with food or something to stabilize all those hormones. (pot -> food).
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 04, 2017 1:37 pm

I vote food!
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Lucy » Sun Sep 10, 2017 12:46 am

You're such a champ, Sub4Seven. It uplifts me to read your post about how happy you're feeling. Even when you're angry! That really motivates me to keep fighting this battle and to know that it is worth it.

Creating meaning in our lives is so important to a sense of satisfaction and happiness. Without it there's so much despair it's no wonder we turn to chemicals to provide us with some peace. I what I can to help others (while making sure I don't burn myself out putting energy in where it does no good) these days, for me it feels like the most meaningful contribution I can make.
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:49 am

Thx Lucy. I've been busy like crazy lately, today is the first day in a month I can relax without 10 things to do. Finally coming down with my first cold in like 10 years, lol. I've been focusing on how to be more productive, efficient with my time while also setting aside certain times to relax. It helps with the constant thoughts of "I need to do this or that", sometimes I just need to chill and do nothing. Everything is going pretty well though, can't really complain about anything. Best move I've ever made, but I was ready, you have to be ready, I hated subs, I blamed them for everything that was wrong in my life/day, thing is, they were kind of responsible for everything that was wrong or at least tied to it in some significant way. Now that I look back, 3 months of detox was the easy part in comparison to years of continuing to drag myself through shit bc now that it's over, I get to live instead of always having to focus on surviving. I can get through the days with nothing and while that may seem obvious at this point, it's huge for the mental aspect. I don't have to run home, I don't have to "feel better", I can just finish what I'm doing. Huge.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby DietDoc » Sat Sep 16, 2017 5:02 pm

That is the best post I have read. You have no idea how uplifting and inspiring it is to come across this just at the right time. Thanks man.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 9+ years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Tapering @ < .5 mg/d
Alprazolam: Tapered off May 2016 - Started again October 2017 currently tapering again
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Sun Sep 17, 2017 8:17 am

Sub4Sevenyrs wrote:Thx Lucy. I've been busy like crazy lately, today is the first day in a month I can relax without 10 things to do. Finally coming down with my first cold in like 10 years, lol. I've been focusing on how to be more productive, efficient with my time while also setting aside certain times to relax. It helps with the constant thoughts of "I need to do this or that", sometimes I just need to chill and do nothing. Everything is going pretty well though, can't really complain about anything. Best move I've ever made, but I was ready, you have to be ready, I hated subs, I blamed them for everything that was wrong in my life/day, thing is, they were kind of responsible for everything that was wrong or at least tied to it in some significant way. Now that I look back, 3 months of detox was the easy part in comparison to years of continuing to drag myself through shit bc now that it's over, I get to live instead of always having to focus on surviving. I can get through the days with nothing and while that may seem obvious at this point, it's huge for the mental aspect. I don't have to run home, I don't have to "feel better", I can just finish what I'm doing. Huge.



Yes, this is the post worth printing out and drawing inspiration from and you have such a way with doing it... :cheers:

Your histamines are doing there thing too. It's normal to be susceptible to colds now. Wash your hands often and try not to touch your face. Get some zicam or take a little extra vit c and zinc in your vitamin regimen.

Thank you, YOU are the reason we are here.....seven years of hell are over....you are now truly on "the other side"!!! :cheers2: :cheers: :banana:
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Lucy » Sun Sep 17, 2017 9:18 am

Definitely agree with DD and Cheeps. That post should be quoted and made a sticky so everyone can see it. There's so much strength, hope and courage here. Seeing people reclaim their lives like this is ... well, there aren't the right words to express how I feel about it.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby amery2u » Fri Sep 29, 2017 2:53 pm

Congrats, Sub4Seven. . . hope all is still going 'right' for you!!! Toughest and most worthwhile thing you'll ever do. I'm proof of that.

Amazing thread, for sure. Kudos.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Sat Sep 30, 2017 4:26 am

Tomorrow will be 4 months. It feels like so long but 4 months really isn't much. Still learning how to deal with social situations and emotions, especially in public. It's like half the time I'm completely confident, the other half I just feel like I'm not "doing it right". Its funny how the emotional baggage weighs more than anything else in life. On one hand, I'm having a hard time relating to people bc it seems like the things that most ppl worry about/get angry about aren't worth it at all, it's like petty. On the other hand, I find myself reacting to things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things either yet I can't seem to shake the emotions that come with it, the worry, anger, doubt, etc. I've been working really hard lately, putting in a lot of hours and honestly my mind is taking a beating more than anything else. Not used to this kind of a grind, I think I may still be dealing with guilt over so many years of sub use bc I feel like I don't try that hard, no matter how hard I work at something or how well I do I still feel this way. Not sure what I'm trying to prove or to who but it's like a tape of nagging thoughts playing over and over that I can't seem to cut the chord on. Maybe it's part of my drive and I just need to learn to trust the process and the path I'm on. Until next time...
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Sat Sep 30, 2017 7:18 pm

Here's yer four naner guys! :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:

Seems I remember edotz having these same thoughts after a few months...check out the back end of her threads.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Thu Oct 05, 2017 10:59 am

How's the OCD driven guilt going? Beat it down and remember that you have just gone thru a major life stressor. Be kind to yourself and allow others to be kind to you.

Find meaning in small things .

Three of mine today are...

How much these dogs love me no matter what I do to them aka staying by themselves when I work long hours.
The sky is deep blue and the birds are chirping.
The power bill will go down because fall is finally here.

Well, how about four?

Thinking of you and Psilver today...knowing that you two will NEVER go back.
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Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Thu Oct 05, 2017 2:49 pm

cheeps wrote:How's the OCD driven guilt going? Beat it down and remember that you have just gone thru a major life stressor. Be kind to yourself and allow others to be kind to you.

Find meaning in small things .

Three of mine today are...

How much these dogs love me no matter what I do to them aka staying by themselves when I work long hours.
The sky is deep blue and the birds are chirping.
The power bill will go down because fall is finally here.

Well, how about four?

Thinking of you and Psilver today...knowing that you two will NEVER go back.


Thanks Cheeps, that was exactly what I needed to see when I logged on. It's a work in progress though, setback after setback, just need to wander through them one way or another. 2 steps forward, 1 step back...story of my life.
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