Day 10 after 7 yrs

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Annalo57 » Mon Oct 09, 2017 6:27 am

Hello Sub4sevenyrs,
My name is Anna, my thread is "My liquid taper" by Annalo. I was reading through your thread and I found myself relating to so much you said and inspired to get where you are. I have been on Subs for more years than I can actually count. For many years it was ok, I functioned, I worked and I took care of myself and my family. Then it changed and I began to feel like a walking corpse. The past few years I have been terrible. At first I thought it was me. The I figured out it was the Subs. And it was a big secret, no one knew. Recently I've told a couple of people. This past weekend after some drama and me losing my shit and being a bitch, I told my family. The relief is so great. I don't have to pretend I'm ok any more. I'm down to .44mg 2 x daily. It's a slow and sometimes tedious process. But I'm going in the right direction and I hope to someday, in the not too distant future, to join you in freedom. Thank you for being an inspiration. I think we all need to hear the stories of success. Cause this shit is difficult. Anyway, just wanted to say thanks to you. And of course thanks to Cheeps, for without her I would never have posted anything on this forum.
Have a great day!!! :)
Anna
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Wed Oct 11, 2017 9:42 am

How's the studies going? Just checking in with you...I hope you are busy! :cheers2:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Wed Oct 18, 2017 12:11 am

Hey Anna, thank you for the comments, always great to hear someone relate. yea once the subs turn on you, it's a whole different ballgame. If you're only taking 0.44mg twice per day, that's about where I jumped so you can definitely do this within 6-12 months. Don't do it until you're really ready, but don't wait one minute too long once you are. It wasn't that hard, it really was harder to stay on the subs. Feel free to ask me anything, comment on anything and I'm here to help just as everyone else here is. Getting down to less than 1mg/day is a huge accomplishment, you are already 75% of the way there at that point.

Cheeps, the studies are going shitty. I get frustrated easy, I have no patience and I'm tired, lol. But I've realized all this and I just need to be better, more perseverance, more determination, more focus. But at the end of the day, it's not the most important thing, I will do my best (for that day) and accept it and move on to another day of life sub free. I don't wake up angry, actually my anger is pretty much nonexistent at this point and I was at a point where I was nasty to everyone on a regular basis. Just glad to have my teenage-personality back. I'm me again, that's all I wanted.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Wed Oct 18, 2017 10:04 am

Sub4/7... that's good to hear...you are making progress and that is what counts. Your acceptance will see you through to equilibrium...each day is time away and that's a healing that you are allowing by being gentle with yourself.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:10 pm

I've calmed down now, I was heavy once into drugs
I could walk around straight for 2 months with a buzz
-Eminem

Well, the honeymoon period is over. Trying to get used to being so blah. It's actually working. More stable, not as many ups and downs. Until next time...
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Annalo57 » Thu Oct 26, 2017 2:09 pm

Hey Sub47. Thank you for your comment and your support. I am now down to .35mg in the AM and .40 in the PM. I just started that today. Down from .40 twice a day. I've been feeling crappy most of the time, but it is manageable. You definitely know the drill so I won't elaborate. Just anted to say thank you, though I should have done so sooner.
Have an up day!!
Anna :banana:
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Wed Nov 01, 2017 11:06 pm

Month 5

:banana: :banana: :banana: :banana: :banana:
:shred: :shred: :shred: :shred: :shred:

Today is 5 months, big deal. 6 months is creeping up and that's a huge one. I think I'm going to have to celebrate in some way. Thing is...How do you celebrate? I used to celebrate major things by getting major high but that's probably something you can relate to if you're on this page so why am I asking you anyway? lol. Ideas anyone? How do people have fun? I used to have fun hanging out with a lot of friends or playing sports but I don't have any friends and I don't play sports anymore. SOOOOOOOOOO yea, yay 5 months. :laughpound:

On another note, feels weird to write month 5 on a "Day 10" thread. Do people just rename the thread? How does all that work usually?
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:57 am

More time = More emotional stability. Can someone let me off this coaster already?
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:21 am

Sub4Sevenyrs wrote:More time = More emotional stability. Can someone let me off this coaster already?


The good ole blah plateau.....months ago you yearned for it....now that it's here....wellll....blaaaaahhhh. The solution? Interact with people and read some Tom Rath. Basically you are having to find very small instances of good shit and learning to appreciate them. What to do with time? What to do with that good old shitty feeling of, what next?

It comes from within but being around people that are like minded helps. Spend time helping kids, helping old people...helping animals. This where hobbies come in too. You have to learn to do shit that's not on the honeydew list. Do something for yourself.

Make something. Look out at the day and find two small things to marvel over. Open doors and smile at people. Speak a few words when you normally wouldn't.

The healing is taking place. And yes, it's boring. :lol:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub zero » Fri Nov 17, 2017 11:36 am

cheeps wrote:The good ole blah plateau.....months ago you yearned for it....now that it's here....wellll....blaaaaahhhh.


LOL I never thought of it that way, but in hindsight, that's exactly what it is. Even though its been like 7 freakin years since I quit...I do remember reaching that point where I thought "is this all the better it gets?". I remember thinking that I actually felt better earlier on when I was still in withdrawal - at least then I could feel my progress. There also comes a time in the process when you lose your quit date as a reference point and you stop counting the months, the years. Today if someone asks me how long I've been clean...I have to look up my quit date and do a little math in my head.
Methadone free since 8/15/2010...Sub free since 9/28/10...Alcohol free since 10/4/16
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:53 am

ok Cheeps is like a sub-psychic. I do all those things, I talk to people I encounter at school like I know them just to get some social interaction (some people think I'm weird but I think they're weird too so we're on the same page), I hold doors open for an extended period, I always looked at the sky, especially on those cold clear nights. I'm from NYC but moved upstate at 20, the stars were always something I was fond of seeing after taking an astronomy class 5 years ago. There's so much artificial light in the city and when combined with the smog/car exhausts/pollution, stars don't even exist so I always liked that about upstate. Want to take a trip out West to get an even better look someday. Also noticing my sense of smell is hyper aware, like to the point of disgust. Another thing Cheeps said many months ago that I'm just becoming wise to. Sub-psychic.

What's weird about this blah period is you establish a "normal". It's kind of nice because it breeds confidence since everything is less stimulating and easier to manage but I thought I'd be able to be this "efficient machine" when I got off subs, like I'd be able to get shit done 12 hours a day. It's more like 6 hours chopped into pieces. and I really don't care, that's the unsettling part. But I guess that's the definition of Blah.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Mon Nov 20, 2017 4:06 am

Sub zero wrote:
cheeps wrote:The good ole blah plateau.....months ago you yearned for it....now that it's here....wellll....blaaaaahhhh.


LOL I never thought of it that way, but in hindsight, that's exactly what it is. Even though its been like 7 freakin years since I quit...I do remember reaching that point where I thought "is this all the better it gets?". I remember thinking that I actually felt better earlier on when I was still in withdrawal - at least then I could feel my progress. There also comes a time in the process when you lose your quit date as a reference point and you stop counting the months, the years. Today if someone asks me how long I've been clean...I have to look up my quit date and do a little math in my head.


I'm know I'm just going to get better and better, I mean I could use some years-time after a long haul like I did so early in life. I just thought I'd be able to get my body to do more at this point, it's kind of like a lump of shit I have to drag around and give pep talks to all the time. But I always know when the next month is up bc I quit on the 1st...June 1st 2017. Smiling now because I think I'll be remembering that date for a long time and it's a solid stepping stone. The progress does come mega slow though, but I'm still seeing it month to month for now.
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub zero » Mon Nov 20, 2017 8:58 am

Don't be discouraged if the PAWS sneak up on you. They got me at around the one year mark. I got up one morning feeling achy and like I was wearing the "lead suit"...and I was like "WTF...how can this be....I've been clean and feeling good for months??" Fortunately, the PAWS are short-lived and shallow.
Methadone free since 8/15/2010...Sub free since 9/28/10...Alcohol free since 10/4/16
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Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Tue Nov 21, 2017 12:34 am

Sub zero wrote:Don't be discouraged if the PAWS sneak up on you. They got me at around the one year mark. I got up one morning feeling achy and like I was wearing the "lead suit"...and I was like "WTF...how can this be....I've been clean and feeling good for months??" Fortunately, the PAWS are short-lived and shallow.


haha man thanks for the heads up. If i woke up to the lead suit one day out of nowhere I would definitely freak. That's just unfair. Like, Time out for a sec.
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