Day 10 after 7 yrs

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Sun Jun 11, 2017 12:10 am

I have a common story. Age 31, started taking 5mg vikes/perks around 17, became addicted and upgraded to Oxys by 20 and did between 100-200mg oxys for next 5 yrs. Got caught driving dirty, had to do 2 months county jail. It was one of the best things to ever happen to me at the time, taught me how to get sober and take care of myself. I jumped from 6mg so it was rough but I had no choice, prescribed clonidine & visteril, helped a lot. However, I didn't know much about PAWS so when I tried getting on with life, I noticed around the 90 day mark I'd be soaked in sweat at work all of a sudden. I was craving and I slipped up a few times, saw that it was getting dangerous and went to a Sub doctor before I got addicted to Oxys again.

Well, that was an interesting decision bc here I am 7 years later on day 10 of no subs. Although, I am 1 semester away from graduating with a bachelors in Biochemistry which would have been impossible on Oxys so I have more disdain for my suboxone doctor than the drug itself. I have been wanting to get off suboxone for about 18 months now, somewhere between 6-8mgs/day. I went to 4 mgs in about 2 months but it took me a good year to get from 4mgs to 2 mgs but once I did, it became a lot easier to plan on the jump. I got down to 1 mg, stayed there for about 6 weeks and jumped June 1st.

My sub doctor was an "addiction psychiatrist" who wanted to keep me on subs forever and whisked away any complaint I had about suboxone, like losing 40 lbs and half my teeth. On subs I just always felt like I was experiencing all the negative parts of my addiction without ever getting what is supposed to be the positive, the euphoric good feeling but it gave me years away from that "chase" of the drug, the money to pay for the drug, the running around trying to do everything around the drug, etc.

Let me also say this, when I had to detox in jail, I was completely removed from any temptation so I literally COULD NOT USE, I couldn't get anything in there not that I wanted to anyway but it was easier when my complete environment was controlled. Here I sit on Day 10 with suboxone in my drawer right next to me, this is something I had been unable to do until now, (I actually threw them all out a few hrs ago) but I know in the past that I could not have gone through withdrawals with opiates on me that could take it all away. That is by far my biggest accomplishment to date.

I know I'm still in the beginning of the detox but it wasn't that bad at all and I know it's from the slow taper. Bad RLS days 3/4 with crazy fatigue but other than that, not too bad. Bunch of sneezing and freezing and here I am on day 10. Starting to get hot flashes, appetite has been really good since day 5/6, and I CAN SEE MY OWN FACE AGAIN FOR THE 1ST TIME IN YEARS, even being withdrawn and skinny it still looks lively and focused, something I have been obviously missing every single time I looked in the mirror for the past decade or so.

Right now I'm just focused on starting to get to the gym once I get a bit more energy, maybe starting day 14 or so and to try to take care of myself as best I can to finish up this degree and start a life with my fiance.

Sub Drs are taught to keep you on Suboxone in order to prevent you being a statistic as an accidental overdose or to manage the drug seeking behavior, criminal and personal liabilities that come with such addictions. It based on the premise that opiate addicts are a lost cause and they will never get sober. This is what I call TOTAL BULLSHIT and a convenient methodology benefiting the drug company that makes Subs. YOU CAN ESCAPE WITH EVERYTHING IN TACT, even after all these years. And THEY SAY THE HALF LIFE IS about 36 hrs on average, but not when you've been taking the drug for years! Your body is going to extract everything out of that film quicker each and every time, especially when you are tapering. I never believed that 36 hr half life crap.
Last edited by cheeps on Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Spacing
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:22 am

Hey there....I'm off to work but wanted to say welcome to SS and congrats on day ten!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9352
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby nomojo3479 » Sun Jun 11, 2017 6:22 am

Nice 10 days in is a long time. Keep it up... another week or two and Ull be feeling much better
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Subblind » Mon Jun 12, 2017 8:05 am

Excellent post!!! Great job.be very proud of that...go after the life you want full throttle.continued success!!!
User avatar
Subblind
 
Posts: 887
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:57 am
Location: North East

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:24 am

thanks for the good words guys, feeling pretty good at this point already due to the slow taper and jump off 1mg. Diarrhea kicked in couple days ago, sweating all the time, slept 5 hours last night first time instead of the 3-4 since detox. It helped. I have to start getting out of the house a bit, cleaning up and stuff like that while just letting the days tick off. I'm finally fucking free. fuck everything but me.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Mon Jun 12, 2017 10:34 am

Sub4Sevenyrs wrote:thanks for the good words guys, feeling pretty good at this point already due to the slow taper and jump off 1mg. Diarrhea kicked in couple days ago, sweating all the time, slept 5 hours last night first time instead of the 3-4 since detox. It helped. I have to start getting out of the house a bit, cleaning up and stuff like that while just letting the days tick off. I'm finally fucking free. fuck everything but me.


You will start to cry, you'll want to poke everything, and you'll see colors and life more clearly during this time. You ARE free. Stick around though....it takes awhile to get through the upcoming rollercoaster ride...but we can help you with that. :D
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9352
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Mon Jun 12, 2017 11:03 pm

yea I'm sure it'll be a while before my body feels good. Pupils still huge, body still a lump of shit and I'm still taking 2 showers a day. It'll be another 2 weeks before all this shits out of my system, then the healing REALLY begins.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Tue Jun 13, 2017 5:18 am

I'm already starting to lose my enthusiasm lol...can't fucking sleep. Fell asleep at 1230, up at 3. Still dealing with RLS and my nerves are jumpy. I think I was too fatigued to experience this before. :gaah: :suicide:
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Eyedotz » Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:16 am

Welcome to SS! .... like cheeps said, it is a roller coaster ride for the first couple of months. Sub is insidious and holds on to your receptors for dear life. There will be a lot of baby steps forward and 2 steps back for a while. Please don't be discouraged by that. You may have rebound anxiety at times especially when trying to sleep. Best advice I can give about that is don't try to force it. If you can't sleep...don't even bother. Lay in bed with headphones and chill or binge watch something. I know it's hard to focus on the big picture but please try.... this will not last forever and it will even out.... you have to brave the ups and downs first. Anyway, welcome and nice to meet you, ~dotz
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
User avatar
Eyedotz
 
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Tue Jun 13, 2017 5:38 pm

When I was in that stage I'd lie in bed with some really slow classical cello sax Xmas music on. I called it resting....giving my body a break from staying vertical.

Go get some Imodium and triple the dose about three hours before normal bedtime...if you eat, take a couple of stool softeners because it will stop you up. It helps with anxiety and RLS as well as the trots. Don't take it more than once or twice every 24 hours....and no longer than a week. It's a very weak weak opiate type med but it doesn't cross the BBB.

Above all....drink a shit ton of good water to flush the residual toxins out. Live in each day. Don't lean into the future but know that it's going to get better. You can do this....It's time to be sick so just go with it.

You only have to finish this and you'll never have to do it again. If you have a stash...get rid of it.

We're rooting for you. cheeps
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9352
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:09 pm

I have 0.2mg clonidine and a consistent supply of pot, works for me. Ran out of visteril few days ago. I really don't give a shit what I have to go through, if I have to sweat a year and sleep 3 hours, I'm not fucking with opiates anymore PERIOD. I know I will crave and sweat months and months later, I don't care, it will pass. I'm actually confident in my arrogance for once. I just hope I never forget how shitty it all feels but for the foreseeable future, I'm rock solid. Thanks for the encouragement and the time you guys took to reply. Finding info on LONG TERM SUBOXONE USE is really really difficult so it's great to get any insight.

PS: The fact that you say Immodium is an "opiate-type" even though it doesn't cross the blood brain barrier, I want no part of it. I don't want my receptors getting a whiff and I just read immodium is a opiate agonist which will BIND the opiate receptors even though it doesn't activate them. I don't even want an antagonist on my receptors like nalaxone.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Subblind » Wed Jun 14, 2017 7:23 am

A lot of people use the immodium during detox as it works on receptors in your gut and that helps provide some relief.it has been noted that prolonged and excessive use can cause withdrawal from the immodium so it may be a help or a hindrance depending on how it gets used...

Your getting feedback by some very knowledgeable people here but ultimately you gotta do what right for you.
Keep going strong,you've gotten a long way and you should use that to find encouragement going forward.easier said than done I know,but you'll get there...we're rooting for you too.keep your thread updated so we can lend whatever support we can...hope it helps.SB
User avatar
Subblind
 
Posts: 887
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:57 am
Location: North East

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby cheeps » Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:22 am

I love it when you get aggressive and tough in your conversations on sub. It's what keeps you in the right mindset. I think you'll remember this for a long time. Once peeps get off sub like this....with determination and commitment....they come back here and update...even years later. They remember how damn hard it can be and they want peeps like you to know life does return to normal or better.

Kick subs ass every day!!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9352
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:21 am

DAY 13

It definitely helps, I don't know 1 person who took Subs as long as I did and is getting off. Last time I quit, I was in great shape after 45 days (wasn't taken sub long at the time, ate really healthy, worked out like crazy, gained 25 lbs of muscle. Had like no symptoms, but then I start sweating at work out of nowhere a few days and that's what I had a hard time with. I know I'm in the shit right now, it's only day 13, but your expectations change as time goes on and I needed you guys to remind me of that. What the hell do you do tho if you start sweating/craving like that? Just go home or push through it? Is that a craving or is it still the brain healing or what? That kind of stuff is more what I'm concerned about, PAWS symptoms after I think it's all over.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Eyedotz » Wed Jun 14, 2017 12:31 pm

I was on 13 years so this can be done (I was the longest I'd heard of successfully tapering/jumping/being fine).
Because I was on sub for 13 years, when I was tapering - I no longer 'craved' it. All the suffering through the taper made me lose any romantic fantasies I had about it and opiates in general. I KNEW submitting to cravings was not part of the equation of a future lifetime of sobriety. I KNOW that nothing good will ever come of it. I can honestly say, I do not crave any opiates to this day. I wear a med alert necklace that says, "Allergy Opioids" so even under emergency scenarios, I am protecting myself.

I think you will continue to be in w/d for a while man. From what I've learned on this site and personally, 2-3 months is usually the time it takes to normalize. It feels like forever, I know.

I did a super long slow taper to .03mg and I still experienced PAWS. It wasn't overwhelming really but it was a lot of changes in my body. I had digestion issues, nervous system issues, hormonal and emotional issues but after almost 15 months rid of that toxin...my body seems to have reverted to a 'normal' state. You just have to remember that your body needs to relearn EVERYTHING and it will take time. You are doing great. Keep posting...we're here for you.

~dotz
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
User avatar
Eyedotz
 
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:07 pm

Eyedotz wrote:I was on 13 years so this can be done (I was the longest I'd heard of successfully tapering/jumping/being fine).
Because I was on sub for 13 years, when I was tapering - I no longer 'craved' it. All the suffering through the taper made me lose any romantic fantasies I had about it and opiates in general.

~dotz


I know exactly what you mean by this. The taper left a long lasting impression since it took so long and was so painful, physically and mentally. Took me 2 years to get from 4mg (2mg twice/day) down to 1mg once per day and i think I had rls every morning for the last year of it...until dosing. Horrible. Definitely left a sour taste.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Wed Jun 14, 2017 10:17 pm

bad round of rls low in calves right now, I feel like I've been tensing up my calf muscles for a good 2 weeks straight. The only easement is the shooting pain I get from stretching my legs and feet so much. Acid blood, feel like I need to stretch my leg bones in ways they just dont bend although snapping them in half doesn't sound like a bad idea right now. should be a fun night.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Dcleanist » Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:02 pm

Rls is by far the worst most brutal physical part but the good news is the body will heal and time only goes forward. Congrats on your will. congrats to everyday earned.

Coffee and weed helped me get through rls. Would wake up to try to sleep. Exercise to help anger/frustration bursts and the mind set that like a switch your day will come. The dawn after the peak. Your gaining on it. Peace
The voice of reason is reasonably late.
Dcleanist
 
Posts: 119
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 7:47 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Thu Jun 15, 2017 8:46 am

How long does the rls take to subside for a 7 year sub user? I've read some people saying 3-4 months, then I'm read some dumbasses saying 3 years. I don't believe this shit for a second, I can see maybe getting a bout of RLS months later, years later but not this intense shit I'm dealing with every day & night. It always gets me at night.
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 148
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: Day 10 after 7 yrs

Postby Eyedotz » Thu Jun 15, 2017 9:58 am

I wouldn't worry so much about it 'possibly' lasting 3 years. Most likely the people that have it that long are just prone to having it later in life. I didn't have RLS at the same level as some sub taperers/jumpers because of my super long taper BUT I know that it really helps to exhaust yourself during the day. I started walking 5+ miles a day and noticed a significant difference when trying to sleep that night. It sounds simple but motrin was a big helper.

I know what you mean by the stretch thing. I used to call it 'squeezys'. It's almost like you wanted to stretch so hard that it ripped your muscle off the bone. Def don't miss that feeling. This stuff will subside though. I think you'll feel a lot better in a month or two.
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
User avatar
Eyedotz
 
Posts: 486
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Next

Return to Sub Sux

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests