A7dream...getting off this shit.

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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby Eyedotz » Sun Apr 30, 2017 5:56 pm

awww thanks a7, I'm very happy that you could relate to my story. It was difficult for me to relate to people's stories when I was tapering because I was on LAO's a lot longer than most (yes, consecutively). I don't consider myself a hero, just 'the person that became before'...someday you will be where I am, paving the way for others after you. There is nothing that humbles me more than knowing that my story has given others strength and the confidence to take this insidious drug by the horns and kick its ass. It certainly can be done. Often times, I felt like tapering would never end...I couldn't imagine what drug-free happiness looked like...I couldn't imagine what natural energy felt like.

.75 is a lot to be proud of. Please don't be rigid about split-dosing as it may be something that you may consider down the road when your doses get smaller and don't last as long. Split dosing was a life saver for me under .5mg. Maybe you won't need to...your journey is your own. That is the thing about tapering, you need to be able to change your approach if you need to. If something doesn't work, change it and see if it works better. My taper plan was designed by me, for me. I read others stories and advice but in the end, it was my path to walk.

I'm glad you found us here.
~dotz
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13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Wed May 03, 2017 12:53 pm

A7.....how's it going there?
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Wed May 03, 2017 9:12 pm

Hey Cheeps and Peeps..
So its almost been a week since my last drop and I'm doing pretty good overall. I'm having mild w/d symptoms but they've been in different stages and only one at a time.
The newest is that I've been waking up after 4-5 hrs of sleep,
since I can get back to sleep for a couple more hours, it's really not a problem. Oh fun! more twitchy legs, at night . I had some stomach cramping and what comes after...... just once. And there again all these symptoms where so mild compared to ALL the HELL I remember coming off Methadone. So I'm really happy with whatever I'm getting when its this mild, besides it reminds me "your going in the right direction, and this is proof" (psych myself)
Considering I had dropped from 1 ml/1 mg to .80 mcg ? I can't say its been bad at all, the worst for me so far was the emotional rollercoaster I had at the very beginning of this drop. It surprised me because I hadn't had that mental/emotional side this entire time from 24-32 mg a day to what I'm assuming is about .75 mg . I've managed to go back to splitting my dose, and its been .20 in the AM and .60 I'm the PM. I did this in hopes to keep my sleep more normal. Since I currently work at home I have to stay alert and not want to take a" long lunch", which would be more like a nap if I get too tired.
That being said.......I'm staying where I am till everything settles down. And without any comfort meds except for Welbutrin. which.....I failed to mention in my story section that I was down to .50 a few months ago, but because of a couple set backs, I'd gone back up. I got way too depressed after a job loss so put back on an anti-depressant, and I'm glad I did. I know it was soo needed, I'm in a much better place now.
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Thu May 11, 2017 8:23 pm

I meant to post yesterday to keep up every 7 days but the day got away from me. Plus I wanted to wait until I was "out of the woods" with any w/d symptoms because I knew I'd just sound like a Debbie Downer anyways.
I went down again 4 days ago, it was just 10 % but its still another step down. I'm currently at .70 of 1 cc. Or 1mg of the liquid taper, and so far so good. The only thing I would've complained about yesterday was some stomach cramps and the squirts. Sorry but you should know this all too well coming off any Opiates. I try to be a "lady" but hell its pretty hard sometimes when I have to talk about this "crap", pun intended. :lol:
I'm completely shocked that my mood seems to be getting better the lower I go. I already struggle with major depression, and have on and off for last 20 yrs. all I know this could be opiate induced. I'm hoping but its pretty doubtful since people say it helps depression. Only time will tell, I will keep reporting about this . Because its hard to say since Ive been on an opiate for so many years consistently. So far all I've experienced for w/d symptoms
this last drop from .80 to .70 is a few muscle twitches , one afternoon of stomach stuff and peeing like crazy on the 4th day. I know I sound like a typical addict that has to talk about every little symptom but its only because I'm trying to say how little each one bothered me. I've never experienced so little here and there of any symptom, once they started w/d symptoms would get worse and add more and more as withdrawal progressed. But this is completely different than I ever expected. I think its probably because I'm still taking a good amount, I've read once you get below .50 it will get a bit more difficult. If so I will tell it , I want this to be my journal and help anyone else who thinks stopping this is impossible. This place is my continued inspiration. I'm gonna do it.....I know it. I can't wait but I'm scared too.......scared of who I'll have to "sit with" once I'm sober of this toxic chemical

:banghead: :banghead: :punchballs: :punchballs: :gaah:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Fri May 12, 2017 2:56 pm

This is the point where you need to slow down....believe it or not! Going two weeks between drops when you get under .75 is recommended....

A7... this is the hard part.....your brain is clearing and that's very normal and you are going in the right direction. Because the fog is lifting, you might feel pushed to lower faster....don't. This is patience time. The more you experience this side of the taper...the less you'll feel shitty after your final jump.

You are killing it girl and I'm so fucking proud of you.... :boobshake: :cheers: :boobshake: :cheers: :boobshake: :cheers: :mrgreen:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Tue May 16, 2017 6:52 am

cheeps wrote:This is the point where you need to slow down....believe it or not! Going two weeks between drops when you get under .75 is recommended....

A7... this is the hard part.....your brain is clearing and that's very normal and you are going in the right direction. Because the fog is lifting, you might feel pushed to lower faster....don't. This is patience time. The more you experience this side of the taper...the less you'll feel shitty after your final jump.:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Tue May 16, 2017 2:18 pm

I told you in my thread how to quote but I didn't tell you this...


Above you did it.....now when you want to comment on my comment just make sure to type what you want to say BELOW the area that is in quotes....so the last thing you see before you type is....for example...

final jump[/quote]


Hit return twice and start with your comment.
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Thu May 18, 2017 6:34 am

Nice a7.. ur kicking ass.. fuck sub. Also, I'm not as low as u r in ur taper but I've had to follow cheeps advice and sloooow my taper down. I was getting loony but Feeling great now.. anyway, just wanted to say good job.
Btw
How's the liquid taper going? I'm about to switch to liquid once I get below 1mg.. (probably 3 more weeks).. I should be comfortable with syringes considering my steroid and iv drug history but for some reason I'm nervous about changing up my roa.. I've been taking sub the same way for 10 years.. anyway ramble out. Keep it up:)
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby Solaris » Sat May 20, 2017 1:58 am

Hey A7, first, congratulations for going the taper route. its probably critical with bupe, more so than many other drugs. its important that also you take it slow. even a small reduction every week or two will work in your favor in the long term, altho i can understand the feeling of being "stuck" on a tiny dose and wanting off.

some people dont really ever stabilize fully on such low doses, and at that point, i say its probably time to jump, instead of riding it out and delaying the inevitable.. but if you find yourself stable even at very low doses, then a gradual, low reduction is key to making the wd's as maneagable as possible.

what doctors dont make clear is this drug has an half-life of around 40 hours, on average, and can be up to 70+ hours. (btw the half-life is the time required for a quantity to reduce to half its initial value - half, not zero...) your dose reduction might take weeks, (while the past month doses are still being metabolized) before it actually is reflected in the *current* drug levels of the blood.. doing that gradually is what will gently allow your mu-receptors to up-regulate, and the delta and kappa receptors to down-regulate themselves ("thanks" to buprenorphine being a mixed agonist/antagonist, aint we lucky...) hopefully resulting in a smoother transition post-jump.
this is the theory. reality is, we dont fucking know, really. some folks do this and have a smooth ride, as expected, some folks do the same, and still go thru what can possibly be one of the shiettiest and hardest detox. the doses, the amount of time you taken it, and probably a hundred other unknown factors are all at play here.

what i know, is that things do get better man. its really shitty, and sometimes it can feels like its never ending, but it does get better. hold strong :)
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Sun May 21, 2017 10:42 am

I think you are right Solaris...I'm not very good at explaining but I do know that if one has patience, one will suffer less.Humans are an impatient bunch and we fail because we get rushed, disheartened, or influenced by those that don't really know.

I was reading another blurb somewhere and the person was getting ready to get off at 2mgs per Drs orders, she was down from 32 and very happy to be at 2mgs. I hope she made it but in my heart I know she went to fast. But, there are peeps that don't have as much issue and I always wonder why we are so different. :wtf: 8-)


A7....still trotting along? :mrgreen:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Mon May 22, 2017 9:49 am

nomojo3479 wrote:Nice a7.. ur kicking ass.. fuck sub. Also, I'm not as low as u r in ur taper but I've had to follow cheeps advice and sloooow my taper down. I was getting loony but Feeling great now.. anyway, just wanted to say good job.
Btw
How's the liquid taper going? I'm about to switch to liquid once I get below 1mg.. (probably 3 more weeks).. I should be comfortable with syringes considering my steroid and iv drug history but for some reason I'm nervous about changing up my roa.. I've been taking sub the same way for 10 years.. anyway ramble out. Keep it up:)


Thank you Mojo, I'm trying to keep it up. One thing I've learned is I do way better the more I return here to stay on track. Sort of a re-focus or accountability thing, hell its probably all the motivation we can get just from reading and re-reading others who've don'e this and done it well. The liquid, it does make one feel more in control after adjusting . It took me a week to get the hang of it, most people probably do the change with more ease. I hate change, so for me, it was all in my head of "adjusting" for that week.
I'm still holding at .70, will drop again this week.
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Mon May 22, 2017 10:45 pm

I hate change.....




Oh me too.....meeeee tooo!
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Tue May 23, 2017 6:27 am

Ya, change is horrible. Tapering is also.
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Tue May 23, 2017 6:28 am

Sorry grumpy post. Tapering isn't so bad I'm just a baby
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Tue May 23, 2017 8:01 am

nomojo3479 wrote:Sorry grumpy post. Tapering isn't so bad I'm just a baby



Mojo....we can all be babies doing this....it is so hard to experience the emotional side of this...I believe statistically women may be a little better at tapering and dealing with the emotional side of it. Society has frowned on emotion from men and while that is changing, many people, men and women have been taught to feel guilty about having emotion...it is out of our control and that is startling too.

Just forgive yourself and know that you are a simple human being with emotions that are screaming because of changes in the brain. Not being in control sucks and it is why you must be patient and good to yourself as you do this. I think there are few situations worse...maybe the death of a family member or an illness like cancer. They don't put detox from sub in the wonderful ranking list of life stressors....do they? It is my opinion it should be right there in the top five. :gaah:

Just promise me that everyday you will look to nature to help you. I've been bird watching...every spring the plovers come back to my yard and make nests in the dirt. Sure, the cats stalk them but the mocking birds keep the cats busy enough that those little guys eventually hatch out and fly away. Look to nature to keep busy...find something that gives you a teensy boost.

No nature? If there's a YouTube video that gives you a laugh....watch when you feel like shit.

Be proud of yourself for getting to the point you are. Now is the time to chop up whatever you have, (I think you've done this), and experiment with your water solution. Prepare it at your current dose and take the time you need for the adjustment. Give it 3-4 days before you readjust. You know it takes that long for your body to tell you how it feels....this is one thing You do have control over. Remember to put a tiny piece of cotton under your tongue so the solution stays with you...you will get the hang of it. Just pm edotz or cheez or sindysun if you need help or support. Have you read sindysuns thread?
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Thu May 25, 2017 12:21 am

cheeps wrote:
nomojo3479 wrote:Sorry grumpy post. Tapering isn't so bad I'm just a baby


Just forgive yourself and know that you are a simple human being with emotions that are screaming because of changes in the brain. Not being in control sucks and it is why you must be patient and good to yourself as you do this. I think there are few situations worse...maybe the death of a family member or an illness like cancer. They don't put detox from sub in the wonderful ranking list of life stressors....do they? It is my opinion it should be right there in the top five. :gaah:

Just promise me that everyday you will look to nature to help you. I've been bird watching...every spring the plovers come back to my yard and make nests in the dirt. Sure, the cats stalk them but the mocking birds keep the cats busy enough that those little guys eventually hatch out and fly away. Look to nature to keep busy...find something that gives you a teensy boost.

No nature? If there's a YouTube video that gives you a laugh....watch when you feel like shit.

Be proud of yourself for getting to the point you are. Now is the time to chop up whatever you have, (I think you've done this), and experiment with your water solution. Prepare it at your current dose and take the time


CHEEPS
you couldn't be more right about that comparison of what this is like, a good friend of mine got diagnosed with ovarian cancer about the time I really started my more aggressive taper, and shes already in remission AND back to work out of the house ! I was like all hellll NOooo, I gotta get more serious.
i LOVE birds, I owned an African grey , parakeets, Cockatiel, and used to keep her little green parot. I forget now what he was but I used to walk around with him on my shoulder. you must have a good area to birdwatch. It is so true about doing things that gives a boost. I look at funny videos on facebook or You tube.

Oh Gawd Mojo, your not complaining, half the time Im trying to hold my shit together just to post. I wanna go to a thread where we do nothing but talk in caps about how bad life sucks for taking this crap for so f@%*cking long...and every little thing I feel is exaggerated . All because I can't tolerate much stress,. And my mind and body are never in sync of regulating anymore, my hormones are wacked . I never sweat anymore, its 80 degrees and I can wear a sweater! My thyroid is practically gone, which I feel is directly related because this high of a dose of opiates for this long, should be illegal. And causes some kind of side effects that don't show up till much latter. Therefore they don't get documented as "side effects" . I know its some shit Ive never experienced on Methadone, as bad as that is to take. I really think they took the idea of how Methadone "works" and multiplied that effect X 100.
oh and I like that idea I read on a Solaris thread that says they probably add some Pych. Med. because it does help with depression and feels a bit like detoxing from an antidepressant , I think he said. And if I ramble , fuck it. And Sorry where else am I gonna say what ever the fuck I want to because I'm sick of being addicted to this and want to bitch about this dark little secret of subhell SOMEWHERE!! So excuse me if I'm not short and sweet or all positive. I'm bitter till I'm better ( in hopes the latter can't come soon enough) :banghead:
(turning "off" the bitching in general)
Solaris,
THank you for that encouragement. I couldn't agree more. tapering off this drug is more imperative than any other. Its so strong and lasts for days.....I know all about that good ol half life. I think it's worse for people with slow to no metabolism/thyroid function
I've dropped to .60 and doing fine so far (except for bigger "twerking" ) that's what Im calling the muscle jerks and twitches. I even get them in weird places, like my sides. I know Im a freak, it's ok. I embrace it, Lol..... I think I'll know a little more in another 2 days of how this one feels .Shouldn't be much different , I've taken a month to drop a total of .40 I don't suspect any trouble till I get down to .10 or so . Just a bad feeling, hopefully I'm way wrong. :ogeez:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Sun Jun 04, 2017 8:17 am

I just saw ur post cheeps...
thanks for that. I spend so much time with Freddy and he just tells lies over and over. To be honest I find it really difficult to do anything (work, family, even just typing or whatever) while tapering sub. My emotions are overwhelming at times... it's very hard going from no emotions really ever to often feeling things very strongly. Anyway, I truly appreciate all of u at subsux... I'm doing my best with work and tapering and being a dad/husband... even if at times it seems like I'm failing all of those things at once... I'm actually not. I'm on 66% less sub then I was 3 months ago. Work is chugging along and my wife and daughter haven't murdered me yet. Lol. Anyway, thanks for the kind message cheeps. It is interesting the differences in men/women... for whatever reason it seems like most of the people who have gotten off sub here st subsux are women.. idk..

Anyway, .7 that's awesome a7.. how are u feeling? Stable at all? Any physical symptoms? I'm developing a phobia that I won't be able to function under 1mg.. (not that iv even tried yet).
Anyway, proud of u
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Wed Jun 07, 2017 7:15 am

A7 where u at lady.. hope ur doing ok. Let us know what's up
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Wed Jun 07, 2017 9:06 am

nomojo3479 wrote:A7 where u at lady.. hope ur doing ok. Let us know what's up




Yeah you ole mother.....hope all is well. :cheers2:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Thu Jun 08, 2017 3:25 pm

HEY YA'LL

I've missed ya'll ,
And here's where I am now.....
First off I really didn't want another drug in my body,again I really didn't, but I feel my head is foggy and thoughts are all over the place. So long story short I'm back on the Seroquel at night (very low dose) because my sleep just isn't coming on soon enough and I found myself staying up till after 1am. My mind wouldn't quiet down thinking of what all I needed to do the following day.
Just about a week now I feel better , btw they gave me those the last time I was in the drug rehab for "detox" off Sub. And that was a couple years ago. And as you can see that didn't work :deadhorse: so here I am :thumbup:
I'm holding on .30 in AM & .30 PM = .60mg ;) walking the dog 3 times a week and wanting more, loving music all the time. Everything they say is so true, Ive experienced most everything they way they say it is. Like the things youll notice to change from 2 mg and below :thumbup:




Ok I'm gonna admit once and for all , I'm never leaving this place. I've been coming here since before they made the new site. Which I believe was over 7 yrs ago ???? I think....so if you leave me a message I will get it eventually .....I check back every 3-7 days for sure. :wave:
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