A7dream...getting off this shit.

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A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Wed Apr 26, 2017 1:12 am

I'm starting this thread...but it is A7Dreams...


my time on opiates is pretty shocking. 27 years to be exact. Seems like waaaay too long for any hope. Although I will say, since I've been on (and off) SubSux I've changed my mind. I do have hope; I've read many things that make be believe it can be done even for someone like me. I'm tired of it and have suffered many of the side effects people on here talk about.

I am in my late 40"s , been on Sub for a little over 7 years/ Methadone for 20 years Used recreational drugs, including Heroin (3 times to be exact) I never did it often enough to get addicted. I was way too scared from watching both my parents addicted most of my childhood. And even though I was guarded against doing it again, my guard slipped and I took my dad’s methadone just because he offered it. Because I took it only on the weekends I was stupid thinking I wasn't "In danger", boy was I MORE wrong!!! And so that's pretty much my story, except for the depths of addiction I've unfortunately come to learn . I want off this more than anything.....just have to go slow as a friggin snail , otherwise I start crying, can't sleep (which bothers me the most) and all the other crap that comes along with too rapid of a withdrawal.

And btw I've started the liquid taper but not moved below the 1 mg for some damn reason. I know I'm physically ready, I'm just not working right now and always had set backs during times like this. I lost my job a few months ago and started back on anti-depressants.

At 1 mg right now and still holding....finally feeling more normal again and looking to drop next week after I get well from the flu. (And I had a flu shot this past yr.!) that's what I get for even saying "I never get the flu when I get my flu shot".

So I started alot like many of us on SS. I was written an Rx for 24mg a day which was 3 strips per 24 hrs . Or 1 in AM ,1 in PM then again at bedtime. That was over 2 yrs ago and thank God I found SS because I'd honestly given in thinking I'd be on this crap for the rest of my life. I was an addict, opioid dependent and that was that. Now being on an opioid for over 25 years I knew this would be a challenge but I'd have to be as determined to get off the drug as I was to go get it. And maintain that addiction. And so I have I changed from the strips to the tablets to now subutex and down to 1 mg. I’d made drops of an average of 25% and stay there for however long it take to regain my tolerance to the lowered amount.

I've gone slower than a snail but I'm doing this once and not using any other meds to compensate, not even blood pressure med. I've recently started an antidepressant and am feeling much better mentally. Getting ready to drop again...For me I psych myself with "it's slow and steady that wins the race " now that's some old school right there. Will be back at next drop. A7
10 yrs on methadone
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More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Wed Apr 26, 2017 5:43 am

Good luck a7.. ur In the right place.
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Thu Apr 27, 2017 12:57 am

Around here, slow and steady makes a hella sense. How are ya doing?
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:56 am

Thanks N/Mojo I think so too.
Ive had so many fears begin to fade after reading of others who have taken the torch ahead of us to show a lit path ( now that's as deep as I get) Soooooo
I went ahead and made another drop yesterday from 1mg to .75 mg and my eyes are tearing some. And my vision is blurry again On and off. I don't mind though because it reminds me I'm going in the right direction, and it doesn't stay continuously like those acute symptoms from SAO's.
Something new has started that I have yet to ever feel is, muscle spasms throughout my legs
But especially my calves. And twinges like if you had a tense unit on the lowest setting, not painful. Just there but in different areas like an electric storm of some kind. As if (and I'm no dr. but this makes sense my

On a goodnote....I've stopped bursting into tears at the most random times of the day.......and I'm not craving to eat an entire bag of smarties.....a week (now that Easter is long gone they aren't as fresh anyways)
So I see those as gains in a big way.

I really want to thank Cheeps for editing and posting that 1st post. I may need a push some day and wanna be here to hear from one of y'all as opposed to my husband just saying " you need off THAT SHIT NOW!!!" That saying hasn't really worked so far but I do believe he was on to something....... :banghead:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby Subblind » Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:45 am

Welcome here D7...I was confused reading YOUR post with CHEEPS name in the header but you clarified that...your in a good place with caring folks who have experience tapering off this shit.listen to the girls who have been there done that and you will get through this too.wish you the best....SB
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Thu Apr 27, 2017 7:15 am

Sounds like ur experiencing rls ... hopefully u start to stabilize asap.. I haven't had that (rls) yet during my taper but I have had it during heroin detox, very uncomfortable.. anyway, glad ur here and hope u feel better soon
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:40 pm

nomojo3479 wrote:Sounds like ur experiencing rls ... hopefully u start to stabilize asap.. I haven't had that (rls) yet during my taper but I have had it during heroin detox, very uncomfortable.. anyway, glad ur here and hope u feel better soon



Yeah.....RLS is a bitch....but there are ways to combat it.

Get a kitchen sized plastic waste bin, fill with hot water...it really doesn't take much...just boil some water on the stove, go get Epsom salts and add to water.

Take a hot shower or bath if that's easier but you really need the Epsom.

Make sure you are getting extra :banana: 'naners in your diet, one before bed please. OR chew on raw kale. :mrgreen:

Massage....professional if possible, hubby next...then do it yourself if you have too. Buy a big ass massager....I got mine at the thrift. It's a monster but it sure does the job. No, it is not a dildo. :P :lol:

Light calf stretches and make sure you were arch support if you need it.

Bar of good smelly soap in cloth bag in the foot of bed. (Thanks mom for that one....I think). :think: :think:

If you can stomach some quinine, drink sparingly with the fucking naner. :lol:

There are more ideas somewhere in this place but those are the ones I remember peeps suggesting because they did help them.

There is also a runners formula called hot shots. I've used it myself....seems to be good shit. Pricey but it was a gift from a friend. Yes, it helped but tasted like a kitchen spice yankee candle smells. :ogeez:


You next cut needs to be very careful. Listen to your body and have patience. Basically you've intered the final act....but there are many scenes to get thru. :D
10 yrs on methadone
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Oxy free 12/06/14
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2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Thu Apr 27, 2017 5:46 pm

Ive had so many fears begin to fade after reading of others who have taken the torch ahead of us to show a lit path ( now that's as deep as I get) Soooooo
I went ahead and made another drop yesterday from 1mg to .75 mg and my eyes are tearing some. And my vision is blurry again On and off. I don't mind though because it reminds me I'm going in the right direction, and it doesn't stay continuously like those acute symptoms from SAOS.




Progress!! This fucking is fantastic! :cheers:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:14 pm

Oh god, restless legs, and arms, are my 'special symptom' as Burroughs called it. That is the one that always gets to me. I tried quite a few things, and still try them, since I still get them. Stretching my calf muscles until I feel they will rip helps, and there is another remedy that another subsux member recommended to me when I was complaining of them...how do I put this delicately...asking your husband for an assist...or alternatively using that 'big ass massager' that Cheeps recommended, but in ways not mentioned in the manual, might be your best bet. Too cryptic? :mrgreen:

Keep on your path though, and you'll be at the end in no time. Unless you are a slow taper-er like me, in which case it will take considerable time, but you end up at the end just the same. :D

Welcome to the board A7!
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Thu Apr 27, 2017 8:47 pm

Thank you both SB and N/Mojo .
Omg those are some good ideas,
I forgot about the bananas , and wow are those some great remedies. I'm going for the Epson salt soaks with a banana, before bed.
My sleep is becoming broken up which is a 1st. But had no trouble falling back to sleep. So far, so good. But guys its my mental state I'm struggling with the worst, don't know what to do about it because I don't know what to expect. Been fuzzy headed and more forgetful than usual. But seriously

My main complaint lately is I feel I have no threshold for stress, so I have to recognize this and correct it by a gaba (Neurontin) as needed. Id been trying to wait till the end, however having another meltdown, today. Makes me rethink waiting. All these years my emotions were always "hardened" if you will, like I was behind a wall? IDK..so I have to mentally adjust.
Anyone ever hear of this? I don't think I have..... yet, but its always happened to me. Even way back if I "ran out"( from taking too much before next visit to the methadone clinic)
I seem to blow things way out of proportion and or become a blubbering baby..... :?
:gaah:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby Eyedotz » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:41 pm

Hi a7.....welcome to the board! You're in some great hands here. We are a small little group but we're all here for each other. It seems we have a lot in common...I too have been an opiate addict for 25ish years. I was on methadone for 7 years prior to my 13 years on sub so I know where you're coming from In a lot of ways. I am currently 13 months sub-free and I have made a full recovery (I think!). I wanted to introduce myself and say hi. Please read my taper story if you haven't (it's summarized) as it may help you...I'll bump it to the top.

I didn't experience rls like most do. I had this strange burning sensation that I still have very faint glimmers of. What is your taper plan? I did 10% drops and basically stepped off with no acute w/d's. I felt I had to very slowly after 13 years. No matter how slow and low you go, the most important thing you can do is believe in yourself. Give yourself a break and be patient. Tapering doesn't last forever so go at the pace that's best for you. Trust me, if I can do it, you can. You're doing great and welcome to our strange little family!

~dotz
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https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Fri Apr 28, 2017 1:06 am

Thank you Cheez, I will do a little of everything to see what works. Nice to meet you, and Eyedotz
Sublind and thanks to cheeps handing off my post. nice to join this group. Finally talking to someone else who
knows what this is really like.

Yes Eyedotz , Ive read your entire taper journal . We do have a lot in common, I was so relieved to find you had the same timeframe of consecutive use, and I have to tell you....... YOU are my HERO , To now be at 13 months and FREEEEEE! congrats!! you 've done the near impossible . That makes it is more possible to me than ever!
Ive got a glimpse of the light at the end of this( soon to be) ending tunnel ! However I better keep a small flashlight because it may take me a little while. I'm only reducing 1/10 % too.

glad to be here and meet everybody :)
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby Subblind » Fri Apr 28, 2017 8:00 am

I've also heard rumor of an over the counter RLS med called"Hylands restless legs" you have nothing to lose by trying that as well.

It's good to see all the regulars came out to greet you...it should provide you with a sense of support that goes without saying around here...hope it helps. :thumbup: :wave:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Fri Apr 28, 2017 9:50 pm

I saw that hylands stuff at a rite aid this week.. I haven't tried it tho
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:35 am

nomojo3479 wrote:I saw that hylands stuff at a rite aid this week.. I haven't tried it tho




Some peeps swear it works...
Many other call it bullshit.



When all else fails......bring on the flexiril and Thorazine!! :wired: :wired: :shrug: :blowme: :lol:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby Subblind » Sat Apr 29, 2017 2:18 pm

:lol: That's what they give the folks in "one flew over the cuckoos nest" :lol:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby cheeps » Sat Apr 29, 2017 4:38 pm

Bang Cuckoo, bang cuckoo!



How's it going there A7?
10 yrs on methadone
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby nomojo3479 » Sun Apr 30, 2017 6:53 am

I got locked up as a minor.. many moons ago.. I was kind of a combative detaineee so they kept making me take Thorazine.. really unpleasant drug if I recall correctly.. no buzzz or emotional relief but very difficult to move.. its brutal just to stand up..
been a long time since I thought about that.. I was such a punk kid
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Sun Apr 30, 2017 11:44 am

Cuckoo does equal thorazine. Its an anti psychotic :crazy: I had to look it up because I was thinking "wtf is that?"
:o
Thanks but no thanks, and btw Mojo if you were given that many moons ago, you must have been "raising hell", sounded like my husband in his teens.

I have just recently read on here that the mental part is sometimes as bad as the physical parts. So I should expect it from time to time. Even taking Welbutrin for depression doesn't fend off the flood of emotions that are trying to re-regulate. After this many years on an opioid, and being numb, it makes "sense" the senses are returning. Ive always had a sensitive side, even as a kid. I remember crying over a love story told in an oldies song. And always got teary at a sad movie, even on sub.....I may have been numb but not dead inside

So I digress and back on to progress, I'm down to .75 now and trying to switch back to the once a day dose. However I dosed at 1:30 yesterday and not again. This morning I woke myself up in one of those choking fits. The kind where the drainage is running down the back of your throat and you can't stop coughing and blowing your nose. The sweats too.Few sneezes..... But I felt so much better mentally I really didn't want to dose at all, much less early . SO I'll keep on my 1:30pm one time dose of the .75. It makes it much easier to me, to get good sleep when I wait as long as possible to dose. Once I can stabilize on this one day dosing and at .75 , I will be on to the next drop. Twitchy legs are gone for now....bananas and stretching seems to help . Or my body just decided to start other symptoms, seems to me be too soon to show these w/d symptoms. Then again 27 yrs is a looooong time, If Eyedotz can do it, I'm convinced I can too. :boobshake:
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Re: A7dream...getting off this shit.

Postby A7dream » Sun Apr 30, 2017 11:47 am

Hey cheeps where is your taper thread ??? for right now ? Ive been looking
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