Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Thu Sep 07, 2017 11:59 am

Mojo....go look at the staying clean thread and read the "heal the amygdala" thread for ideas....
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Lucy » Sun Sep 10, 2017 1:24 am

Hey, MoJo. Hope you're doing better. PSilver is so right about routines. Establishing one and sticking to it has really helped me in depression recovery. I started with something small and just kept adding things as I went along. It is something that helps get through everything life throws at us. Hang in there. Post here with a rant if you need to get stuff out and off your chest. It's ok to do that and we all understand.
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Wed Sep 13, 2017 6:37 am

Is it possible to successfully taper off of sub if Iam often doubtful that Iam capable of getting thru the sub jump and post detox blues.. ?
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby DietDoc » Wed Sep 13, 2017 12:05 pm

I swear sometimes I think you're in my head. I think that exact thought all the time. Do you feel worried you don't have that burning desire like we read about here? That we're not angry or committed enough? I worry about that a lot.

I don't know the answer for certain but I have got off significant opiate addictions 4 times in my past and the one prevailing theme that I always went into those with was an absolute certainty that taking any form of an opiate wasn't an option. The one thing I know I had was resolve. That 'no matter what happens I'm doing this' feeling. I'm hoping that will happen for you and I again.

What I think happens, what I hope will happen, what's going to fucking happen...is...we're going to stop taking buprenorphine someday soon. We'll probably feel pretty bad when we stop, and then it will get worse. But, and this is key, once it starts we'll ride it out no matter what. We'll know that to go back is crazy. That we've made it this far, suffered this long...that were finally in the end game and the clock has already started ticking the final countdown. Freedom is too close.

We have to do this. You and I have been on this crap for 10 years. That's long enough. If you're like me, I bet you've made at least one attempt to get off in the past. You're on 3/4 of ONE milligram. That's a huge huge huge amount of progress. This is SubSux so there's a higher awareness here but the average dose people stop Suboxone at is 2 mg! You're 70% ahead of the game. Your brain has been healing for months already.

It's doesn't matter what comes at us. It doesn't matter how bad it is. It doesn't matter how bad it gets. Everything we'll need to get through this we'll have when we need it. It's going to be painful but we can't keep living this way. We don't process time the right way. All opiates, bupe included, skews the sense of time. Part of us is not fully present and when we look back we know that there's been some part of living we've missed. Too much time has passed with too little experience to show for it. We used to do more, we used to live more. Life was more full. You must have felt this way at sometime. Like we're not fully living, just part of us is, the other part belongs to the devil. I want that part back goddamm it. I feel like this fucking drug is taking part of me away. My confidence, my competence, my ambition, all these are effected and all the testosterone supplementation in the world won't get that back. All the joy and opportunities we miss out on. I don't want to be a lifer on this shit.

I think your doubts are there becasue you know you're going to do this, not becasue you don't think you can.

Drop to 0.6 mg
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 9+ years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Tapering @ < .5 mg/d
Alprazolam: Tapered off May 2016 - Started again October 2017 currently tapering again
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Wed Sep 13, 2017 4:41 pm

We used to live more....we used to do more.

Listen to the man.

Drop to .6mgs.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Lucy » Sun Sep 17, 2017 9:05 am

nomojo3479 wrote:Is it possible to successfully taper off of sub if Iam often doubtful that Iam capable of getting thru the sub jump and post detox blues.. ?


NoMoJo, at times I really feel like this is going to be too hard and maybe I should just stay on the dose I'm at and accept it. But then I remember how I used to Feel. Actually feel things. And I haven't done that for years now. I want my life and mind back so I'm going to keep on reducing this shit until I'm rid of it. You can do this. The only way out is off. The next step is another small reduction. You're so close to the finish line and I really have my doubts that you're going to feel significantly worse when you finally do jump. And if you do for a little while, at least you'll have the satisfaction of knowing every day is a day closer to being healed. Right now it's just being dragged out endlessly. Sorry if I've been a bit blunt but I see you suffering and think maybe you need a little push. Hang in there
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Dcleanist » Sun Sep 17, 2017 4:57 pm

What's the longest anyone has ever been on sub. It would be me if it didn't turn on me. I was forced to get clean. Once it turns on you it only gets worse. Than for years after sub if you use any opy even sao the wd is extended.

Keap weaning in semi peace. Trust me it could be worse. Like coming off a high dose in jail or strapped down with rls. funny how they used to send junkys to jail and promote sub. And most detoxs use sub but there are no sub detoxs. And they say trust the system. Who is making all this money from our taxs. Do you really want to know how the big feed off the less fortunate. Like a lion.
The voice of reason is reasonably late.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Dcleanist » Sun Sep 17, 2017 5:17 pm

The really funny thing now is. Ff cristy is gonna dump 200 million into programs that are known not to work. Only recycle and ensure more revinue. I'm really fn laughn here. Everybody getts there's eventually. Thats why I always smile with my middle fingers extended. The smile is for you the finger for them.
The voice of reason is reasonably late.
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby DietDoc » Mon Sep 18, 2017 1:20 am

Hey Nomojo...how the hell are you? I'm thinking of you dude. I hope you know when I wrote you should drop to .6 mg I was just trying to be supportive, show solidarity and give encouragement. It's none of my fucking business what dose is best for you.

Admittedly I even had some selfish motives in that if you go lower I'll go lower. A ridiculous criteria for sure. We're basically on the same dose and have been for months. After what was a pleasantly surprising week I am now miserable and I want company, as misery always does. I've never been to a rehab but I'm thinking that going through withdrawal with other people feeling the same has got to be very helpful. The power of solidarity.

We got to do this. Personally I am still having a tremendously tough time accepting feeling bad, and by bad I mean that unmistakable feeling that relaxation is impossible and that every 10 seconds you will move. When I was feeling pretty good I was scary brave and phony tough. Now that moderate withdrawal has my soul all I want is relief. Now I understand prostitution. I'm ready to get in the back that car and make a goods for services exchange if it means relief.

I digress, as always. I'm just sitting tapping away in a hot tub at 2:30 AM on my 3rd consecutive sleepless night as I shart out yet a little more of my soul. All I really wanted to say is I'm thinking about you my fellow travlier. Wanted to say sorry if I was out of line with that 'drop to .6 mg' crap. And, most important, how the hell are you?

Hopefully we're brothers in arms.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 9+ years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Tapering @ < .5 mg/d
Alprazolam: Tapered off May 2016 - Started again October 2017 currently tapering again
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:04 am

Mojo.....that's a big drop....are you sure you want one that big?. If you can go by 10% now you will have better results.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Fri Sep 22, 2017 10:09 am

Dude, I'm so glad you finished the work thing. I'm in limbo because I'm interviewing for a state job. I have to get this or I'll be financially shatted.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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cheeps
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Posts: 9367
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 25, 2017 7:48 pm

Here is maggies thread.....I'm hoping the split hasnt screwed up mojos....mags....it aint you....sometimes I get it mixed up....
but your thread is here now...

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3483
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby nomojo3479 » Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:57 am

Just checking in.. I'm still at .75 mg per day. Currently 3.5 weeks off of the testosterone... that is going easier than I thought it would.. the first couple weeks felt pretty blah but I can feel my body ramping up production again. I was super worried that my body wouldn't produce test on its own anymore considering my last cycle was 6 years long.
Anyway, I'm gonna give myself another few weeks to level out hormonally and then start dropping my sub dose again.
I swear I'm gonna get there eventually
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Re: Intro and taper (10 year sub user)

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Sat Oct 28, 2017 11:47 am

Good for you dude. It feels good to take another drug off the use menu and be free of it. At your age there is an amazingly quick up-regulation response of that hormone. Actually DAYS and the axis starts pumping. You probably know more about test physiology than I do!

Also, and this is just my opinion from personal experience and reading hundreds of posts from others; staying at a relatively lower dose (and .75 mg is clearly waaaaaaay below a dose that occupies all your receptor sites) makes it easier to drop once you start again. The key to my 3rd try finally making it further than ever before is I paused at 1 mg for a while, something I didn’t do before. Also, when you’re on the same dose for a long time, when you start to taper again you’re so psyched, instead of being worried about symptoms you’re so ready to move on.

I can’t say when exaclty when it will happen but me and you is gonna beat this orange monster.

I’ll post an update too on my thread. You’re the one who named my transgressions the big benzo black out...hahahah I like that one.

Best - SDD
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 9+ years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Tapering @ < .5 mg/d
Alprazolam: Tapered off May 2016 - Started again October 2017 currently tapering
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