My Taper Journal

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Annalo57 » Wed Jan 31, 2018 10:42 pm

Doc, I think I know which wolf you've been feeding. :clap:
Annalo57
 
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Eyedotz » Thu Feb 01, 2018 11:32 am

Wow doc, Are you really on .12mg? That is fucking awesome. I just wanted to say good job man... you have fought like a champion. You have overcome so many things to get to this point.... I've been following along in the shadows. You are so close to the end. I remember when I jumped at .03mg that I thought I felt no different than I did at .12mg. It's just so cool to read how well you've done. Huge hug dude! ~dotz
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
User avatar
Eyedotz
 
Posts: 514
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Annalo57 » Thu Feb 01, 2018 9:36 pm

Doc, you said,

"I am going to go write the hardest and scariest thing I have ever written on my thread right now. "

Inquiring minds.......

A

P's. Long response to you on my thread.
Annalo57
 
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby nomojo3479 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 11:58 am

Ya, I second annalo’s question.. what’s up sdd? U got us worried.. what’s up?

Also, I wanted to chat with you sometime about diet....
In the last month I have decided to get serious about my diet and workout regimen...
I stopped eating (most) carbs, cut out nearly all sugar..
But I have been eating a lot of meat, eggs, and cheese..
I saw some of what Cheeps wrote about going to a mostly plant based diet.... which is something I’ve never tried..

I’ve been mostly involved with bodybuilding n such... so plant based diets are not something I have been around or no a lot about the benefits..
anyway, I have seen a huge difference in my health just from cutting out sugar (soda, cookies, cake,) all that type of garbage..
Anyway, I imagine ur not a bundle of energy at the moment.. so not urgent or anything.. just wondering about ur diet and the why behind it..
hope u have a good day homey
Mojo
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby CatsMeow » Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:12 pm

Okay Doc. We're ready when you are.

Doc says:
"Anyway, I can't take any more of this and am going on to my thread to post probably the most important post since I started my threat in November 2016."

We're ready when you are my dear.
Pills August 2009 to 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering From 16 mg Since 5/6/2017
User avatar
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Fri Feb 02, 2018 5:24 pm

This is probably the most important personal post I will ever write:

I can't take anymore. I am done. I don't want be a quitter so late in a game I've come so far in, but I can't sit around and wait to dose and 'clock watch' anymore. The pain of tapering is now worse than the fear of withdrawal and the fear of withdrawal is worse than the symptoms of withdrawal. At least this is true for me. Bottom line is, I'm done...almost.

To be totally honest I am pretty scared to be writing this. Because I am making a commitment here. I know it's cool if I changed my grand plan, you'd all still care, but once I write this it really means something that I feel committed to.

My most recent plan was to go a week on each of my final 4 doses to end at .09mg/d. But things have changed.

I have reduced my dose every 5 days for the past 3 doses. That's really fast. I was scared. A few times I dosed early (around 8 hours) out of fear but on all 3 doses by days 4 and 5 I was dosing every 12 hours. One time I even got distracted and went 16 hours between doses. So in the past 13 days I dropped 3 times! And you know what I felt and have been feeling as a result of this? Absolutely nothing. It hasn't made a bit of difference. I had one bad night that probably had nothing to do with tapering at all anyway.

Do I feel good? Nope! My legs ache all the time and I have low energy. But it's exactly the same on .06mg 2 x day as it was on .31mg 1 x per day.

So, and this is the scary part, 7 days from today will be the last day I ever take suboxone, ever, ever, ever. I have 2 more days (3 doses actually - 1 tonight and 2 tomorrow at my current dose). Then I do a 30% drop to .09mg (.045 2 x day) for 5 days starting this Sunday.

February 9, 2018 will I wake up and not take any suboxone for the first time in 10 years. On that day I will jump at .09mg (.045/.045). Then I will build a back yard bon fire and burn a few hundred 2mg suboxone strips.

That's the scariest thing I've ever written. But this is what I am fucking doing. After almost 2 years of tapering it ends in one week from today.

Will I have more symptoms than if I went a little slower and a littler lower, maybe. But I bet I have been so low for so long that 72 hours with nothing I'll feel better than I do now. And as long as I take even the smallest amount of suboxone then feeling good will never return because I am in a perpetual state of simulating my brain receptors just enough to keep me from healing but not taking enough to feel good from it.

Once the sub-zero clock starts every second puts me closer to feeling good again, this is one of those constants you can count on.

So, let't do this. This could be the best summer I've had in years. No, this will be the best summer I've had in years.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
Subverted DietDoc
 
Posts: 195
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:58 am

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby CatsMeow » Fri Feb 02, 2018 6:24 pm

Great news Doc! Just fucking fantastic! :banana: This is the first time I've ever posted one of them dancin' 'naners. But that's the way I feel now. I'm so happy for you. Yes, this is the most profound post for you. 7 days and you're done. Out. Finished. No more sub sucking or squirting. It will be over.

Doc, it's really been a ride for you. But you're ready now. You will succeed. You will burn those 2 mg strips & laugh. Because you'll be done.

I'm so glad that I've been able to watch your taper unfold. You've been a real inspiration for me and so many others. If you can do it, I can follow in your footsteps & do it too.

We'll be here for you too for the after party. This is wonderful news my friend. :cheers2:
Pills August 2009 to 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering From 16 mg Since 5/6/2017
User avatar
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Sub4Sevenyrs » Sat Feb 03, 2018 4:16 am

0.12mg/day. You surprise me every time I log on here. Congratulations on the decision to jump in 1 week and I couldn't agree more with everything you said. In 1 week you'll jump. In 2 weeks you'll feel better than you do now and be set for a constant upward trend. Looking forward to it. :cheers2:
Sub4Sevenyrs
 
Posts: 206
Joined: Sat Jun 10, 2017 11:31 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Annalo57 » Mon Feb 05, 2018 2:16 pm

Well, how brave are you?????? VERY BRAVE!!!! And in my estimation, destined to succeed. I know it was scary to post that, but if you were really that scared, you wouldn't even be planning to jump in 4 days from now. I have found through this process that, since we do not enjoy Subs, once we make the decision, we will not be stopped. I think you've made your decision and I applaud you. What scares the DietDoc??? NOTHING!!! You've been to the worst places we can go, so jumping from .1 or less should really be nothing new, and I think you'll rise to the challenge. This in no way meant to be interpreted s pressure. Its just that you've described yourself as a wimp on numerous occasions, and frankly, I think you may need to reevaluate your perception of yourself. There is nothing wimpy about you. Unless you want to pay for a burger on Tuesday that you eat today. ;)

Rock on Doc, you've got this!!!! :boobshake:

Anna :banana: AKA Squirtandgo
Annalo57
 
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Annalo57 » Mon Feb 05, 2018 3:27 pm

Annalo57
 
Posts: 317
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby SubJumpa » Wed Feb 07, 2018 7:29 am

Damn doc congrats on .08!! So happy for you!! Reading your thread since finding Ss has given strength to continue more than you could ever know so Thankyou!!

Best T
SubJumpa
 
Posts: 44
Joined: Sun Dec 10, 2017 2:04 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Smots » Wed Feb 07, 2018 10:45 am

Holy shit Doc. I missed something somewhere!! Is time really flying! I’m sure it doesn’t seem like that for you right now.. but it will soon! You’re there bro and you’ve come from way further than I could ever imagine. Congrats man! In your time here you have educated and helped countless people. Who knows how many?? Several thousand maybe? It’s your turn!!! I hope this transition goes smooth! I’m as confident as you are.

Smots
6 year sub user
Sub free 1/8/2018
Smots
 
Posts: 9
Joined: Mon Jan 29, 2018 8:11 am

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby cheeps » Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:35 am

For the youngsters in the audience today....does your mama know you are here kid?


10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9869
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby CatsMeow » Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:42 am

Hey Doc! You're getting really close now. I think of you every day. I'm excited to see you jump & succeed. You've worked so long & so hard for this. You've done it the right way in these super duper low doses & I personally believe that you have suffered prior to jump in order to reduce post jump pain.

We're here for you, just as you've been here for so many of us. Honestly, your informative posts have meant the world to me. I hope you're feeling as well as you can today. Hang in there just a little bit longer & you've got this.

As Rod Stewart said "My love for you is immeasurable. My respect for you immense." :)
Pills August 2009 to 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering From 16 mg Since 5/6/2017
User avatar
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby cheeps » Wed Feb 07, 2018 11:49 am

10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9869
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby nomojo3479 » Thu Feb 08, 2018 7:07 am

Hope ur night went well and you got at least a few hours of sleep. Thinking of ya
User avatar
nomojo3479
 
Posts: 192
Joined: Sat Jan 29, 2011 11:19 am
Location: CA

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby CatsMeow » Thu Feb 08, 2018 12:26 pm

I'm thinking of you too Doc. Your time is almost here and I'm so proud of you and your dedication to this long slow taper to be free. Yes, free. That's what you're going to be. I'm a poet & didn't know it. :boobshake:
Pills August 2009 to 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering From 16 mg Since 5/6/2017
User avatar
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 409
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby cheeps » Thu Feb 08, 2018 9:24 pm

10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9869
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: My Taper Journal

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Fri Feb 09, 2018 1:50 am

This taper thread has now ended as of 2/5/18 due to the fact that on that date my taper ended.

Please go here to see how things turned out:

viewtopic.php?f=5&t=3561
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
Subverted DietDoc
 
Posts: 195
Joined: Sun Oct 15, 2017 4:58 am

Previous

Return to Sub Sux

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot] and 1 guest