Looking for advice on when to jump

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:23 am

Hi-diddly-ho Subsux. Yesterday was day three of nothing, and since I had been dropping every three days, I figured it was time to call it, and dumped what was left of my liquid solution down the drain, because if I am on day four, then obviously I am not skipping days.

Been feeling run down due to another fucking cold. I caught this cough that a bunch of people have around here. It blows, and I have been taking a single dose of that robotussin shit at night because I hate feeling like I have to cough all night while trying to sleep. So I can't update you all on my sleep patterns, because I am taking that shit. Slept nine hours last night though, and dreamt I was on vacation at some beach island and a tidal wave almost carried everyone away...it wasn't scary though, just impressive.

Other than that, I have been really quiet on here I know. I have also been really quiet in my taper journel...i used to fill in a paragraph of details on how I was feeling, and the last several entries were all short sentences. This started about a month ago maybe. It was like I was distancing myself from bupe and the taper. I noticed it when I suddenly stopped checking other websites. After visiting here first, I used to hit other drug related forums just to read others stories and advice. But awhile back I just didn't anymore. I tried a couple times, but it was different.

I don't know. But in retrospect it kinda feels like I was mentally quitting bupe in a way. I spent so much fucking time worrying about the details of the taper, it turned into a job. And then it just started to fade out, like instead of a job, it had become a hobby I had lost interest in. Feels weird man.

I am still here though, you mo-fos can't get rid of me that easily. :boobshake:
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Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby Eyedotz » Fri Mar 24, 2017 6:50 am

Oh man cheez.... that is fucking great....so proud of you, my friend. You handled that shit with grace and dedication. I was actually planning on harassing you today if we didn't hear from you. I think it's exciting when someone jumps especially after a long ass taper like I had! Now it's time for your story to pave the way for others cheez's and eyedotz!

As far as being quiet, I get it. It happened to me too. Tapering literally becomes a full time job and you want to learn everything you can. You read hours of posts and other people's taper plans...every new symptom you have, you need to look it up and research it. Sub is all encompassing.....until it isn't. You just get to the point where so much repetition gets you used to the hills and valleys. I think I described it as 'embracing' your sub taper. You did this marvelously pal. It really sucks you're sick AGAIN but at least you're sleeping well. You didn't feel much regarding jump, right? I told you so!!!

The only thing that kept me in 'sub world', was this site. It's more about community than anything. I care about the people here and if I can help people move through this transition, I am happy to do so. On the flip side, I found a place that I could rant and rave through my stages post jump with my friends here. Besides, it's the best place on the www to harass subblind. I could email him but it's much more fun publicly! He loves it. Word.

Seriously, so fucking proud of you. You handled this shit like a champ. Please please stick around....you're a treat here my friend. :boobshake:
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby Subblind » Fri Mar 24, 2017 7:24 am

CHEEZE I knew you jumped when I didn't see you around for a while...BAM!!!! So very happy and proud of you kiddo.please stay around,your a fixture here and this site needs you(and Dotz and Cheeps)gotta go to work but will keep checking in to see how your doing...TTYL
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:38 am

Dammit girl! Yeeeehaw! I knew it too! It was time and I totally get the quiet zone you needed...that happens a bunch! I'm so tickled for you. :banana: :banana:

You and dotz followed the sindysun liquid taper to a TEE! :D 8-)
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sat Mar 25, 2017 7:34 am

Thank you my friends. It feels good, but odd, to be done.

And yep Eyedotz, no real symptoms to speak of, that weren't already present for months. For me, the psychological shit is harder because I had built into my head that I needed this shit to combat my anxiety disorder. So I have been trying to trick myself into jumping well before I stopped taking the shit.

Which happened. I think I really jumped awhile back. Probably around the stage when people started seeming noticably hotter. I remember playing Witcher 2 and Geralt had a cool hood on, and he lifted his sword to kill somebody, and I thought 'holy fuck, geralt is seriously sexy'. And then I thought, 'what the fuck is wrong with me'. :lol: And then I thought, 'Can't wait til they make more witcher games, but for virtual reality systems' :twisted:

It wasn't just seeing attractiveness though, but all people seem more...interesting. Like they all have some quality that I will hone in on and find fascinating.

Fun shit.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:20 pm

Are you having any physical issues that you can tell? It is time to find something to hump....many many peeps report a renewed and crazy sex life after jumping. :twisted: Hell...I don't think jumping is the right term...you eased off the pissen, just as planned.

It would be beneficial if you could report how long ago....whether in mgs or time, you felt the same as you do now.
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby nomojo3479 » Sun Mar 26, 2017 9:08 am

Nice cheez.. :D
With all sincerity, I appreciate u documenting ur taper very much and I hope I can quite the sub life with half as much discipline and toughness as u have shown... I hope life gets sunnier and u feel healthier ASAP
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:03 pm

Thanks mojo, it was a rough go at times, but totally doable. You got it covered if you can stick with a taper and not let anything give you an excuse to go back up in dose.

I took my last dose in the early afternoon Monday, so today is day six, and tomorrow afternoon will be a full seven days. That seems fast. From what everyone else goes through, it seems I have about three weeks before the depression sets in...trying to get prepped for that.

Cheeps, you said it might be helpful to figure out how long ago I felt the same as I do now. That is an interesting question. Often I would get a little burst of energy after dosing at 1:30 and I always figured it could be that tiny bit of bupe, but I wondered if that was possible. So a couple days ago I tried to trick myself into thinking subconsciously that I dosed. I took a couple sublingual l-theanine supplements and did my whole dosing routine with them and sure-uh-fucking-nough, I got that same energy boost and even this feeling in between my eyes that I always thought was caused by bupe. So, who knows when I stopped really feeling that shit, but that last time I really felt it was a long time ago, maybe 0.15-0.20...I will re-check my journal.

But I have a run down of withdrawal symptoms that might narrow it down. The last time I had really bad withdrawal yawning was around 0.11, and the last time I had uncontrollable crazy sneezing was around 0.07. Those symptoms haven't returned. (Thank fuck! One time I was driving 60 mph on a two lane highway, with a wide plow truck in the oncoming lane and I had several unstoppable sneezes in a row. I could feel em coming on and was powerless to stop them, they were intense! I just fucking held the steering wheel as straight as possible and fucking hoped I could keep my arms steady. :shock: )

The really intense restless legs that feel like seizures started up around 0.10 and are much worse than the ones I had in the early days of my taper. Those unfortunately haven't gone away.

I was able to drink coffee again around 0.06 and I think that is when I started exercising again too. I still am not exercising as much as I was at 1mg.

Also, some of my problems may have been because I have been sick every two weeks or so since Thanksgiving. : :deadhorse:

I still can't tell you if I am sleeping normally or not because I am taking that cough supressent with that unisom shit in it at night. It seems to be under half a dose of a regular unisom tablet, but it must be doing something. I was coughing a lot less today though, so will probably stop taking it soon.

And aside from a crumb of a 0.25 mg sublingual klonopin (maybe 0.05 mg :lol:) on Tuesday when I had a meeting, (taken because I didn't want to chicken out on my first day of my jump, and which I didn't feel in the slightest), I haven't taken anything aside from supplements and the cough suppressant stuff, so I still have untouched bottles of gabapentin and shit tons of clonodine and benzos, so if shit hits the fan for some reason, I have all that left. But hopefully I won't feel the urge.
:shred: :punchballs: : :wiggle: :boobshake: :blowme:
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby Eyedotz » Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:03 pm

Awesome. Just fucking awesome. I have a feeling you won't be needing any comfort meds... trust me when I say you're already through the worst of it. The rls will calm down...I had a version of rls that resulted in burning sensations in my legs especially at night. It took a long time to fade but it does lessen with time. In the beginning, I had to take Motrin every night before bed just so I could fall asleep. It really did help. I can still feel it now oh so slightly but it is only a subtle shadow... maybe 2-3%.

Please don't worry about the depression aspect as it may miss you entirely. For me, I was thrown into an emotional tornado because of a bizarre situation in my personal life. I often wonder if I could have avoided the whole emotional phase if that situation never happened. I have a feeling you will get hit with the 'boredom' phase... it seems to hit everyone. Personally, I think it's because we spent so much time in our tapers worrying about symptoms, perceived symptoms, dosing, taper dates, exhaustion blah blah blah.... that you get to the point where you feel 'what the fuck do I do now? What will take up my time? It's a weird thing to dream of being sub free and once you are, you exist in a surreal realm for a while.

Anyway, thanks for checking in pal... I like updates! I, however, decided to quit ice cream...at least for a while. It's funny how I can quit one of the most insidious drugs on the planet but I can't motivate myself to quit fucking ice cream. I really need to get in shape for spring walks anyway!!! Make sure you go for a zombie shuffle with headphones....best medicine (once you feel better of course!!). :boobshake:
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JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:15 pm

You are quitting ice cream?? You're like a glutton for punishment. First the subs, and any booze, weed, etc, and now this? :D Whatcha got left if you cut out sugar? Next I'll be hearing you are limiting caffeine. Then what? Starting an oxygen taper? :lol:

For some reason my sugar cravings have gone down a lot. I have boxes of expired, unopened cookies now. Guess I'll throw those out for the birds when I have the energy.

The ice cream though..., that I will keep.

I got some good exercise today...still not up to par, but better than yesterday. Also working the arms...gotta get ready for tank top weather baby. :boobshake:
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:38 pm

Damn....I thought I was the only one with sugar cravings! Cheez....what kind of cookies you got? As long as they don't have coconut in them, send em on to me. Dates are just dates.... :P and ice cream....I bought a bunch of close out gelato several weeks back and it was damn good...but I've quit that. I have no willpower when it comes too ice cream and cookies...none. I've gained twenty pounds since the major jump... :gaah:

Your journaling has really helped us and for that I thank you very much! :D

Like dotz said don't worry about any depression...I think the way she describes the flatness or boredom will be what you feel to. No drug will really help with that....just doing things, staying busy, meetings, posting, and telling yourself...."this isn't the true me"...that's what will help and it will piss before you know it. Oh...I think I'll leave that auto in there. :wiggle:
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:52 pm

Cheez....I tried some stuff called hot shots. It's a supplement runners use for leg cramping. While it may seem pricey...it works. It's like drinking a jalapeno laced kitchen spiced Yankee candle. Good shit!

My friends from ok turned me on to it.
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Mon Mar 27, 2017 5:54 pm

team hotshot. com
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby Subblind » Tue Mar 28, 2017 7:33 am

stop and shop had a"discontinued" blow out on blue bunnie ice cream about a month ago...
I bought 14... That's right...14 half gallons of ice cream.all kinds of beautiful flavors like sea salt caramel and cherry vanilla and peanut butter and chocolate what ever was in there I bought.for .74cents each... My wife had a fit...the lady at the checkout looked at me like I was nuts too...so I said to her" hey lady,I know this is a freakish amount of ice cream but I'm not leaving it here at .74 cents each. I got a big ass freezer in my basement and now I got a fucking ice cream parlor on the premises.shit will keep for a year or more...I felt like that extreme couponing bitch on TLC
MY kids have friends over,summers coming,I have a bowl a night and fuck it you only live once so...l say let your inner fat bastard indulge...it could be worse...the liquor store coulda had a sale...the crack dealer could be offering a BOGO..
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Tue Mar 28, 2017 6:09 pm

They're lemon cookies Cheeps, and I tried em and they are hard as a fucking rock now. Guess that's what happens when you by a ton of 'no preservatives' cookies on sale. :D

Not much change here. Well, maybe more anxiety. I think I am on day 8 so I know it'll get worse before it gets better.

Subblind, I want a deep freezer in my basement so bad. I would fill it with wonderful things.

Like dead bodies. :o

No, I would actually make lots of soups and freeze them, And I'd buy tons of periogies, and lots of ice cream and so much other stuff. Gee Eyedotz, I bet this is all really helping with your willpower to say no to delicious, happy-lovely-yummy ice cream. You need to find the subsux-equivalent website for ice-cream quitters, where they don't like none of that positive talk about that frozen, evil, sugar sludge and all the woe it brings. :nono: :mrgreen:
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Don't you ever tame your demons
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby Eyedotz » Tue Mar 28, 2017 8:43 pm

Haha! Well cheez, why do I need a special ice cream forum when I can hijack your thread!?

I tried to respond to this earlier at work but I somehow lost my whole post and didn't have the patience to rewrite it while I was there. Subblind- I can see you packing up your man VAN with gallons of ice cream and swiftly gallivanting the creamy goodness away for your summer stores (like a vapo addicted squirrel). I love blue bunny though... or used to...peanut butter panic was my favorite until they decided to put peanuts in it. I have nothing against peanuts but they were competing with my mini peanut butter cups. Nobody competes with peanut butter cups and stays on my good side. It was nothing personal. :lol:

Yeah, I know I pretty much sound like a sadist quitting everything all the time… I will not, repeat, quit sugar or caffeine. I'm laying off the ice cream for a while because this winter has been hard. At the end of the fall, I felt like I was in the best physical condition I've been in years and now I feel like I'm starting over. I know I'm not starting totally over because the drive is still there, but the self-esteem is having hiccups. I just figured not eating ice cream every single night would head me in the right direction. It cannot hurt. Afterall, ice cream is fucking crack and must be treated as such! Hmmm...maybe I'll just eat it out instead of dragging that shit back home....see? My facade is already cracking....don't spike eyedotz, don't spike!

Jesus, don't even get me started on cookies...here... I'll think about bananas and boobs. :banana: :boobshake:
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JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:35 am

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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Wed Mar 29, 2017 12:36 am

Damn....I hate lemon, throw those bastards to the chickens. If chickens don't eat them....not good.
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby Subblind » Wed Mar 29, 2017 4:44 am

Dotz...you can't torture yourself like that.i can see you shaking in the corner and it saddens me...like you've heard a million times..."everything in moderation" I say EVERY Friday night you have yourself a nice little ice cream treat.you work very hard and before you know it you'll be blazing trails in the wilderness getting right back into shape.

CHEEZE you really do need a freezer...once you have one you'll love it.just a word of advice to you...get one that looks like a fridge.those chest freezers get really hard to keep shit in and when they get all frosted up they are a disaster to defrost.wait til your local appliance store has one of those tent sales or a scratch and dent event,you can get one pretty cheap.i also would avoid buying an old unit second hand as they can be really bad energy pigs.

Cheeps you about ready to get a vape rig going yet .?.?.? I'm vaping some juice that tastes so good you want pour it on pancakes...
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Re: Looking for advice on when to jump

Postby cheeps » Thu Mar 30, 2017 3:53 pm

I'm ready...I need the cheapest bestist rig money can buy!
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