syd wrote:So, you want some feedback on the drama @the detox facility. I think you are looking for validation for your decision to leave. Not gonna happen.
The fact that you left, not because of any discomfort, but, because of the "Arrogant Fucking Doctor", shows your lack of commitment, once again.
Read back thru your thread. You were given all sorts of great advice. From the beginning, you wanted to do it your way. Now, here you are again, in the very same boat you were when you first posted. I dont think you are a self saboteur. I think you are a flaming narcissist that cant or wont listen to anyone that doesnt go along with your way of doing this. That PA nailed you. The self sabotage is just a by-product of your refusal to take anyone's advice.
Accusing Cheeps of causing you to relapse is utter BS. Number one, you cant relapse unless you are clean. Blaming Cheeps is just another way of not taking responsibility for you own actions. You didnt disappear because of her. You could have put her on "ignore" and stayed in communication with all the other ppl that supported you. You've been on a drug run because you couldnt commit to any of the plans offered up to you. In the instances you backed off one drug, you substituted another and another.
You have a serious problem in that you have 3 addictions. I'd be willing to bet, you are using other substances as well. You have been doing this dance for 15 yrs. You have access to way too many drugs and you have mastered the art of swapping one for another to avoid any discomfort. Thinking you can do a short sub taper is nonsense [NOTE: THEN WHY DID YOU SUPPORT THE DOC I CALLED ARROGANT WHO RECOMMENDED EXACTLY THAT, YOU IDIOT, jumping at 4?]. Opiates and benzo's are a DEADLY combination. Throw in some alcohol and you are a walking time bomb.
When and IF, you finally decide that getting clean takes precedence over everything else in your life, you will succeed.
So begs the question [NOTE: wrong way to use the idiom, sublind], what are YOU willing to do different this time? You walked out on your best chance for success, when you left the detox facility. [Sub - best chance is WALKING AT 4 in spite of all of cheeps' warnings?????????????]
If I were in your shoes, I'd find a sub dr and stabilize my sub dose. Cut out the methadone. Then, figure out a slow sub taper and stick with it.
I dont give a rats ass if I hurt your feelings. I'm trying to save your fucking life. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, apply that energy to a plan of getting clean.
The Blind Ass wrote:I used to jump from 16mg a day and would stay sober for almost a quarter or half a year but relapse because I never truly wanted it yet. I jumped from 2mg IV sub this time around - but I knew this was the right time in my core. Also.... if you take into account the bioavilabilties etc brings me to above what you came off of, considering IV vs Sublingual bios.
Of course no one will advocate coming off of big doses of narcotics - its not advisable - but people still do it and succeed - its a very personal decision and I made mine for good reasons. So they say taper and taper (the responsible ones who have a little more care for the old brain forest!)
But apparently you will not do that as your posts indicate. [NOTE: WRONG.] So why fret over coming off of 4mg? In actuality its probably closer to 1.5- 2 mg if your taking it sublingually, or less if you hold it in for less than 10minutes. Best of luck to you. Syd was spot on... You sought treatment than denied it. [NOTE: WRONG.]
I hope you can stabilize and not make excuses and finally jump off one day, when your ready and able.
Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests