where is the best place to start here?

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cheeps » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:27 am

Yep, your in a bind but Marilyn....they may decide to use some methadone to bring you down off the sub. I want you to know something I learned from my last rehab experience. When they go over your protocol with you....this is your moment with the perscribing Doctor. This is when you should make sure they know what you've used. It gets confusing as fuck because once you've had your 5minutes with the dr....you are stuck on what you get until you can see them again.

So what needs to happen during this meeting?

1. Take a list of drugs you have been using, how much and when.
2. Establish what drug you may need if you start to really feel like shit. I.E. Librium for benzo wds, flexiril for RLS, gabapentin for anxiety. There is no going back and asking. Sometimes it takes a whole 24 hours to get something if it's not on your initial order.
3. If your bed, room, need for a special diet or something needs to change....tell them.
3. Realize that over a holiday, you are dealing with part time staff, they are usually nicer BUT the therapists/counselors aren't there like they would be during normal ops. Now...if you are just in a DETOX setting....this doesn't matter.
4. Realize that you are giving them control for the next several days. Make peace with it.
5. If it's a rehab as well as detox.... Have a relative ready to get you out. Find out asap how you can call out. Sometimes these places want your money so badly, they threaten you. Shit like...."you need to stay another week....your insurance has been approved....if you don't, the doctor might tell the insurance company that you left without dr approval and your ins won't pay for the week you've already been here."

Now....don't freak out.....but if it's a rehab situation....they push for this shit. If you are detox only....you won't have this happen. If it's a decent place....they won't do this. I had the misfortune to go to one here in my hood that tried to keep me beyond the two weeks I told them I could stay. I learned the hard way. I'm pretty sure it had to do with the shitty way this place was run.

When I detoxed methadone back in 2008, I had a great experience....because it was detox only. Most of the peeps I've come across have good experiences during detox and then suffer through rehab. But...it depends on the place.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Thu Sep 01, 2016 9:41 am

They know I'm just in for detox and that I can only stay so long.

There is no way in the world they are going to give me anything to take home, except maybe flexiril, because they have a record of me being in their system (Kaiser) for not one, but two overdoses! So definitely not leaving with any Librium.

As far as clonidine, I just cannot stomach it at all. The cotton-mouth is what gets me.

What do you think about my idea of getting some Valium just to have on hand, or to actually plan a taper around that after I get out?

I can't believe that rehab place did that to you! Incredibly evil.

Thanks for the heads-up. I do go in tomorrow so may not post again till I get out.
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cheeps » Thu Sep 01, 2016 3:58 pm

I'm not sure you can handle having a benzo....


Let us know as much as you can....please be careful and try to remain steady and as calm as you can.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby Subblind » Thu Sep 01, 2016 7:28 pm

God luck lady...we're rooting for you!!! Get as much out of it as you can.god bless!!!
User avatar
Subblind
 
Posts: 887
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:57 am
Location: North East

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby Don_Pisto » Thu Sep 22, 2016 10:57 pm

Hey there beautiful person, check in when you can. I hope you're doing well.
Sub free since June 4, 2015
User avatar
Don_Pisto
 
Posts: 390
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 5:54 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby Subblind » Fri Oct 14, 2016 7:47 pm

Marilyn...you should let us know how your doing.?.?.? We supported you right up til you went into to rehab/detox and then you disappeared...whatever the the situation is you should drop by and give us an update.
User avatar
Subblind
 
Posts: 887
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:57 am
Location: North East

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:36 pm

Yes, I did drop out for a while. Honestly, there is a part of this forum where I don't feel safe -- cheeps with her not-holding-back give-you-what-you-"gotta hear," that is sometimes brutal to people in such a vulnerable state, and I am not especially fond of that, tends to throw me into relapse.

Here is where I am now. When I started really getting into Subs 'round about May of last year, it became a thing where I would use subs, then use methadone for a while, then benzos. In other words, I was a general fuckup and felt worse having that pointed out by cheeps (honestly don't mean to sound victimy here, but, cheeps, if you feel like kicking people in the ass is a good "get-clean approach," it set me back and I got turned off to this site.

But I want to try again.

Update: Since I started on this forum God knows when, last May or so, I've used something (methadone, Sub, benzos) pretty much every day, with a few breaks. The taper that is outlined here seems to elude me since I consider myself a self-saboteur and fuckup from the word go. BELIEVE ME, I DON'T WANT TO BE!!!!!

Just got out of Kaiser detox again, and it was a nightmare in terms of their power-tripping everything. At preadmission appointments, they consented to give me back the subs again after I had had a benzo-dirty UA. I told them I needed to get my business in order so that I could go into detox/rehab and maintain my source of income (somehow, they seem to think that is an excuse).

At the end of the conversation I thought we had reached an understanding, when I would be admitted, how long I could continue the Subs until admission.

Then I get a call from the PA overseeing my "care," and I told her since I had the time I thought I would take advantage and titrate as much as I could from the Subs so I would be in a better place to jump when I entered treatment. She had wanted me on 4 mg. 2 mg./day X 2.

The PA yelled at me and told me I was "putting myself in the driver's seat again," to let them handle it, that when I arrived at the treatment facility, they would continue to titrate me down from 4 mg. until I could jump, with "comfort meds."

WRONG. Upon arrival, the asshole of a power-tripping head of the department told me I was "done with subs" at 4 mg. In other words like it or not, I would be jumping. They'd done this thousands of times before and knew what they were doing. They smirked every time I mentioned the internet.

I told him, "But, but, but, I had been told I would be titrated here, comfort meds," they'd seen it done successfully many times before, that I was on a power trip, etc.

It was then that I knew my chances of making it here were slim and within 36 hours left (not due to discomfort but because I knew I wouldn't be able to move past the lies I had been told and the fucking ARROGANT doctor. So I checked myself out due to their extreme lack of knowledge.

(At one point I asked the doc if I could ask another question and he said, "As long as you're not giving me anymore information).

Could I get some feedback on this whole drama?

Now I gotta go out and get Subs from other sources and follow the slow but steady taper schedule, if I can afford it over how many weeks, I don't know.

Any input is appreciated. Thank you!
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby The Blind Ass » Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:11 pm

Hey Clueless, I am the Blind Ass. Maybe we have a thing or two in common simply based on the similarities our names may hold. You say any input is appreciated so my crazy ass came here to sing. I have a thread in the general forum about my sub "jump".

I feel your pain and anguish and all the feels...and I usually love the people in treatment centers but Its an Especially flawed system especially for LAO users.

In the past I detested Treatment centers because I am an arrogantly overly educated prick. Dont bite the hand that feeds - so they say - but I say take the whole fucking arm and show them who is prey and preyed on. Those places are mostly cookie cutter in their detox and rehab protocols and therapy/counseling sessions. I know as I have been to some of the best in the US, some of the more middle ground ones, and some truly shit hole ones where you get a bed a meal of slop and a bucket and some Imodium and get the "tough it out buddy" jail stare till your 2 weeks is up.
If you go into a place research the hell out of it before hand, but I say that with hindsight...much of it.

I have also been "Mr.Compliant" and "the attentive and studious and obedient one" to the "elders" of "treatment centers and Sobriety (aka those who had more time than I)".... following their words and "suggestions" like as they would say my life depended on it. But to no avail - because I was not ready - and I did not want their BRAND of fucking Kool-Aid.
We all innately have our own Brand of Kool-Aid and thats my philosophy, so why drink some old farts drink when you got your own - unless you dont know how to remember or make your own yet. Forgive my rant, I digress...but that is the sin que non for me.

If your in those places and you dont know every inch of the lay of the land (so to speak) in terms of operations and protocols, scheadules and the whole 9 and are not completely self possessed to take every little bit you can get from every instance ... you generally fall into a crack and get left unheard...which sucks almost as much as being on subs.

Oh and forgive Cheeps for not calling dog meat filet mignon - but shes a cool cat like that and ahead of the curb on this condition in terms of education/knowledge and experience.

I found out for myself traditional treatment does not work in the classical medical sense.

You need to educate the fuck out of yourself. Thats my RX for you. There are a ton of stories and writings on this site. May I recommended the thus gone one - known as EyeDots - shes still blazing her trail now and the method she used to get off Subs - in my opinion - Is godly. I am a baby macho man so I jumped from 2mg and it hurt. I am still recovering my strength but things are way better than being chained to some bizarre altered alkaloid (thebaine of the poppy somniferum) ala Suboxone/Bupernorphine. Drugs are a bad reward system - life is a good reward system. It just takes a hot minute for our cells to remember that but they do in time.

I liken each .3mg of Bupe to another story of a building on fire that we have to jump out of to save our skin.
So I jumped out of the 6th floor of a building and hit the ground - and tried running. Not very pretty but I had prepared mentally for about a year - and that was after "trying" for about once a year for 10 years. This time I am not trying - I am doing no matter what - day 32 today I think, but who is counting. My mind is clear enough that I read through a whole book today...haven't done that since I was a younger lad.

Im saying the aformentioned for encouragement. But Maybe you are not ready to jump? My personal opinion.... Maybe you should stabilize your life and dosage (low dosage) from a physician who knows you cant handle having a whole RX at once. Then you can consider tapering after you get your situation situated. Because frankly I dont think you are ready. Which does not mean you cant do it! We all can. Many do. But being ready, and able...is not the same as just wanting it. Real Eyes realize real lies baby - you are a self sabotager just like I used to be. Stick around and never give up. I'll be rooting for you.

You need to listen to Cheeps and the others... just my 2 cents.
The Blind Ass
 
Posts: 179
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2016 11:53 am

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby Eyedotz » Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:11 pm

Hey clueless, I remember you! Glad you're still lurking around. Things may not have worked out as planned but your head is still in the game and as long as you don't stop trying, there is always a chance that your jump will stick. As I've said before, you need to stabilize on sub for a while....whether you get it on the street or a legitimate doctor, it doesn't matter. You need to stick to a schedule and you need to teach yourself to adhere to the rules you give yourself. If you can't do it with tapering sub/stabilizing on sub...how can you expect to hold back the cravings post-sub if you can't keep yourself on a schedule? That is the game changer. That is the true test. The biggest toughest battle you have right now is 'yourself'. Overcoming the 'I don't feel comfortable so fuck this, I'm taking more' feeling.....I know this feeling. I did an excruciatingly long, 9 month taper and thought about it everyday BUT I held true to myself. Holding yourself accountable for your own actions is the only way to succeed as a recovering addict. It will make you feel powerful from within.

Addiction is miserable and it should be. It is supposed to be a living nightmare. In order to overcome these hurdles, we need to dig deep within ourselves and find our true strength. We all have it. Yes, we buried that shit away for years and years drowning ourselves in opioids or whatever else we could find...but sobriety, true sobriety, is where we find the person we've been all along. The person that we've hid from ourselves. This is the person you need to find. Once you find her...you will find diligence and freedom.

People on this forum come from all different walks of lives and have many differing experiences. Some people are understanding and supportive, some are fucking hilarious and brilliant, but all of us are here for one reason...to help others and in turn, help ourselves. Cheeps, for example, does not coddle and she tells it how she sees it. She is compassionate and self-less on this forum...She has been here a long time and has a sixth sense about people and she is extremely insightful. She and subblind have been here from the beginning for me, so they hold a special place in my crazy little mind... these fuckers hooked me like a giant fish and they won't let me leave!

....but like in all walks of life- everyone does not need to get along with everyone. Some methods that work for some...may not work for others. It is perfectly fine to agree to disagree. We are all here for you and I hope you find the peace you deserve. I know you can find it. I did after 13 years. I'm really glad that you checked in and I hope you stick around! I will help in any way that I can.

Welcome back Marilyn!
~Dotz
Last edited by Eyedotz on Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
User avatar
Eyedotz
 
Posts: 476
Joined: Sun Feb 28, 2016 12:16 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:16 pm

Thanks so much for your time and insight, Eyedotz! I only have limited supply of Subs so have to do this pretty quickly. I know, I know, the dreaded words. By that I mean about eight weeks. So I am regrouping right now and will re-assess and see what I decide or what seems to be do-able.

Will keep you posted.

Clue
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby Subblind » Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:06 am

I was just thinking about you yesterday...no shit...fucking amazing and you surfaced again.im glad your still trying Marilyn and I know none of this is easy.Most often time the Blunt truth sucks and hurts at the same time but like someone told me long ago"when the world cries drunk,go to sleep"...,what that means is when everyone sees what the problem is and tells you what to do you should listen...Cheeps will never take a turd,paint it purple and call it an Easter egg...it's not in her DNA and she truly is only here to help all she encounters.from where your sitting you may have been offended,but I guarantee you that was not her intention...we all hope and want the best for you and a lot of what was said was just the point blank reality that you needed to hear but didn't want to...you shouldn't feel offended,you should've felt enlightened.sorry it didn't process like that.as always,good luck to you and know we are all here to listen and help...SB
User avatar
Subblind
 
Posts: 887
Joined: Mon Apr 11, 2016 7:57 am
Location: North East

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:48 am

Hey, thanks, everyone.

At the end of my last stint here in this forum, after I figured out how to maneuver around my hurt feelings at whatever it was that cheeps had said, I actually do truly like and respect her ("you," cheeps. How rude to talk about you as if you're not in the room!).

Okay. I have an admission to make. I have been mostly taking Subs, trying to stay under 4, mostly successful, and actually more btwn. 2-3. (But then I spike. Have to get a handle on having Subs in my possession and not taking again, which I did have at one time last time I was here).

But my body seems to have the ability to override the subs the day after I've taken it, with methadone, so I've done that quite a few times.

So now am I detoxing off of both? Or does the Sub knock out the methadone and I'm just dealing with the Sub? I know, either isn't a great scenario. It got so I would take 110 mg of methadone to have enough to override, then a few very weak Xanax.

So now any advice on getting to homeostasis? I'm such a quivering weak coward, I don't know if I have it in me to do without anything for a few days just to see where I am, though I could give it a shot.

I seem to have such a short memory and such little persistence! I think due to the fact that I'm not a happy camper being alive anyway. I think I COULD be if I hadn't screwed up enough times to know that my natural makeup is not that of a shining star nor one who plows through the toughest of times. A cavity? Sign me up for percocet! You get the picture.

Also, I know this is not particularly advocated on this forum, but I do find that taking 24 mg. of loperamide can take the edge off for upwards of a week, to the point that I can take very little Sub. Wouldn't this be a not-so-bad thing to do to get off Subs faster and less painfully?

Thanks, all.

Oh, one last thing: My daughter is having surgery mid-Feb. and I am going to be at her house taking care of her. Pretty serious stuff. (Scoliosis) That timing, if I am doing low and slow puts me pretty much right at the point where I am going to be feeling knocked on my ass and very weak with the beginnings of the worst part. I just can't let her down! Would it help to go slower, or to hold at 1.75 or 1.50 for a long while till the surgery and aftermath are over with?

Since she saw me plastered on methadone a couple of weeks ago, after thinking I was clean, she was absolutely devastated and I (obviously) feel like crap about it. She deserves so much better.
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby syd » Fri Jan 20, 2017 1:15 pm

So, you want some feedback on the drama @the detox facility. I think you are looking for validation for your decision to leave. Not gonna happen.

The fact that you left, not because of any discomfort, but, because of the "Arrogant Fucking Doctor", shows your lack of commitment, once again.

Read back thru your thread. You were given all sorts of great advice. From the beginning, you wanted to do it your way. Now, here you are again, in the very same boat you were when you first posted. I dont think you are a self saboteur. I think you are a flaming narcissist that cant or wont listen to anyone that doesnt go along with your way of doing this. That PA nailed you. The self sabotage is just a by-product of your refusal to take anyone's advice.

Accusing Cheeps of causing you to relapse is utter BS. Number one, you cant relapse unless you are clean. Blaming Cheeps is just another way of not taking responsibility for you own actions. You didnt disappear because of her. You could have put her on "ignore" and stayed in communication with all the other ppl that supported you. You've been on a drug run because you couldnt commit to any of the plans offered up to you. In the instances you backed off one drug, you substituted another and another.

You have a serious problem in that you have 3 addictions. I'd be willing to bet, you are using other substances as well. You have been doing this dance for 15 yrs. You have access to way too many drugs and you have mastered the art of swapping one for another to avoid any discomfort. Thinking you can do a short sub taper is nonsense. Opiates and benzo's are a DEADLY combination. Throw in some alcohol and you are a walking time bomb.

When and IF, you finally decide that getting clean takes precedence over everything else in your life, you will succeed.

So begs the question, what are YOU willing to do different this time? You walked out on your best chance for success, when you left the detox facility.

If I were in your shoes, I'd find a sub dr and stabilize my sub dose. Cut out the methadone. Then, figure out a slow sub taper and stick with it.

I dont give a rats ass if I hurt your feelings. I'm trying to save your fucking life. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, apply that energy to a plan of getting clean.
syd
Member
 
Posts: 1049
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 12:09 am

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cheeps » Fri Jan 20, 2017 2:02 pm

Marilyn.....this just isn't the place for shrinking violets. Thanks for being polite but it bothers me not one bit to be talked about. I welcome it. There are peeps here behind the scenes that hate my guts. So total, blunt, upfront, on the forum honesty is the way I like it....

About the rehabdetox place...

Sure....the fuckers lied to you...but....you knew they would....the front desk always tells you what you want to hear. When you get in the back....their protocol is set in stone. That is the way it is.

What you should do? What syd said...she nailed it and I appreciate her posting to you.

I'm puzzled though....what exactly do you take each day in a weeks time? Why do you think you'll feel badly in 3weeks?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Sat Jan 21, 2017 12:56 pm

syd wrote:So, you want some feedback on the drama @the detox facility. I think you are looking for validation for your decision to leave. Not gonna happen.

The fact that you left, not because of any discomfort, but, because of the "Arrogant Fucking Doctor", shows your lack of commitment, once again.

Read back thru your thread. You were given all sorts of great advice. From the beginning, you wanted to do it your way. Now, here you are again, in the very same boat you were when you first posted. I dont think you are a self saboteur. I think you are a flaming narcissist that cant or wont listen to anyone that doesnt go along with your way of doing this. That PA nailed you. The self sabotage is just a by-product of your refusal to take anyone's advice.

Accusing Cheeps of causing you to relapse is utter BS. Number one, you cant relapse unless you are clean. Blaming Cheeps is just another way of not taking responsibility for you own actions. You didnt disappear because of her. You could have put her on "ignore" and stayed in communication with all the other ppl that supported you. You've been on a drug run because you couldnt commit to any of the plans offered up to you. In the instances you backed off one drug, you substituted another and another.

You have a serious problem in that you have 3 addictions. I'd be willing to bet, you are using other substances as well. You have been doing this dance for 15 yrs. You have access to way too many drugs and you have mastered the art of swapping one for another to avoid any discomfort. Thinking you can do a short sub taper is nonsense [NOTE: THEN WHY DID YOU SUPPORT THE DOC I CALLED ARROGANT WHO RECOMMENDED EXACTLY THAT, YOU IDIOT, jumping at 4?]. Opiates and benzo's are a DEADLY combination. Throw in some alcohol and you are a walking time bomb.

When and IF, you finally decide that getting clean takes precedence over everything else in your life, you will succeed.

So begs the question [NOTE: wrong way to use the idiom, sublind], what are YOU willing to do different this time? You walked out on your best chance for success, when you left the detox facility. [Sub - best chance is WALKING AT 4 in spite of all of cheeps' warnings?????????????]

If I were in your shoes, I'd find a sub dr and stabilize my sub dose. Cut out the methadone. Then, figure out a slow sub taper and stick with it.

I dont give a rats ass if I hurt your feelings. I'm trying to save your fucking life. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, apply that energy to a plan of getting clean.


RESPONSE TO SUBBLIND ["blind" possibly being key word]

Did you miss the part where I said that the medical protocol that I was told at the intake interview prior to admitting myself to the facility that I would be tapered slowly, which is exactly what Subsux advocates, so I can't imagine why you would advocate jumping at 4, something that is advised against on this site all the time. Why would I have any reason to expect that they would proceed on a course of action exactly contrary to what they'd told me would happen? And the doctor said of himself "I AM KAISER! The N.P. you saw is just that: only a NP!" I think that sounds a tad arrogant.

Anybody else with me here that I would not have been able to jump at 4?

Secondly, you don't know of PMs that happened between Cheeps and I and other public conversations, in which I was even supported in the PM forum, hearing several comments that"Cheeps is like that," "this happened to me with her." Note I never said I blamed her for my relapsed, I said I had a tendency to relapse when things like this happen. It's self knowledge, not blame of cheeps. I'm not that stupid to know that cheeps gets blamed for my relapse.

Thirdly, for some reason you seem to be on a vendetta here and you don't even know me. I know that I thought what you said was off point, wrong, misinformed, lacking facts.

And, again, given all the info here about how ill-informed the sub medical community is, why in the world you would fault me for ignoring advice I was given by a sub detox place, advising to jump at 4, giving me way more than 4000 gabapentin in a day, etc., is beyond me? I can only conclude that your brain does not think very critically. Or does not retain information very well?

I also know, just instinctively: "This I know and know full well, I do not like thee, Dr. Fell," referring to YOU, Syd.

Anyway, I doubt anyone will be disappointed but I'm leaving this forum which has proven to be unhelpful to me, having to to put up with idiot posters who think it's okay to jump at 4!!!!!!!!! WOW!

I'm going to be doing some posting on the 'Net about avoiding this place unless you want to be trashed here. I personally don't need it.

In short: FUCK Y'ALL except for a handful of very helpful and kind people here.
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cheeps » Sat Jan 21, 2017 1:13 pm

Marilyn?. I think that this was syds response to you, not subblind. Have I missed a post somewhere? I'm not following this very well.

Of course you need a longer taper....what did the dr tell you about how long it would take? I'm sorry for my confusion about him. I guess I'm trying to figure out what the guy thinks that original taper was going to be.

We have a shitty reputation here already and have for years so it's ok to give your opinion of us elsewhere...just want to be sure you have the conversation right. It's very easy to be misunderstood when not inn real life.

So....if you decide to leave...that's ok. We aren't for everyone....it sucks that there are so few places that have the info you find here.

There is a place called meds-chat that I checked out this year. Google them and then put suboxone in their search box. Maybe they have what you need there.

Good luck.....and no matter what......stabilize.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby The Blind Ass » Sat Jan 21, 2017 1:15 pm

I used to jump from 16mg a day and would stay sober for almost a quarter or half a year but relapse because I never truly wanted it yet. I jumped from 2mg IV sub this time around - but I knew this was the right time in my core. Also.... if you take into account the bioavilabilties etc brings me to above what you came off of, considering IV vs Sublingual bios.

Of course no one will advocate coming off of big doses of narcotics - its not advisable - but people still do it and succeed - its a very personal decision and I made mine for good reasons. So they say taper and taper (the responsible ones who have a little more care for the old brain forest!)
But apparently you will not do that as your posts indicate. So why fret over coming off of 4mg? In actuality its probably closer to 1.5- 2 mg if your taking it sublingually, or less if you hold it in for less than 10minutes. Best of luck to you. Syd was spot on... You sought treatment than denied it.

I hope you can stabilize and not make excuses and finally jump off one day, when your ready and able.
The Blind Ass
 
Posts: 179
Joined: Mon Dec 12, 2016 11:53 am

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Sat Jan 21, 2017 2:46 pm

[quote="cheeps"]Marilyn?. I think that this was syds response to you, not subblind. Have I missed a post somewhere? I'm not following this very well.

Cheeps, you're right, it was syd's response to me, not subblind. Sorry, sub.
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cluelessinpacificnw » Sat Jan 21, 2017 3:16 pm

The Blind Ass wrote:I used to jump from 16mg a day and would stay sober for almost a quarter or half a year but relapse because I never truly wanted it yet. I jumped from 2mg IV sub this time around - but I knew this was the right time in my core. Also.... if you take into account the bioavilabilties etc brings me to above what you came off of, considering IV vs Sublingual bios.

Of course no one will advocate coming off of big doses of narcotics - its not advisable - but people still do it and succeed - its a very personal decision and I made mine for good reasons. So they say taper and taper (the responsible ones who have a little more care for the old brain forest!)
But apparently you will not do that as your posts indicate. [NOTE: WRONG.] So why fret over coming off of 4mg? In actuality its probably closer to 1.5- 2 mg if your taking it sublingually, or less if you hold it in for less than 10minutes. Best of luck to you. Syd was spot on... You sought treatment than denied it. [NOTE: WRONG.]

I hope you can stabilize and not make excuses and finally jump off one day, when your ready and able.


RESPONSE FROM CLUELESS: At *one* point I was unable to taper, then somewhere along the line, and it may have been just recently, gained the ability to hold at first 4 and then 2. Blew that before I went into the facility (:LAST HURRAH syndrome), but I do believe I could regain that strength again. I can see how 2 does cover a whole host of ailments.

I am tired of being told that I "sought treatment then denied it." DO YOU FUCKING GET THAT THEY TOLD ME AT THE FACILITY THAT I WOULD SLOWLY TAPER AND THAT THEY HAD LIED TO ME?????? They were going to do exactly the opposite of what you advocate here, taper long and slow. Now I sound like a broken record and doesn't seem like peeps (many) are getting what I'm saying, just that I "won't follow advice" or "deny the treatment suggested." I gotta listen to my own instincts and if jumping off at 4 sounds contrary to EVERYTHING I've read here -- WFT?

I'm beginning to think that many of you are not as on board with your own program as you have led me and others to believe. Course, that's just me denying help when offered, right? BULL SHIT.

I have very little respect left for this forum, with the exception of Don Pisto (whom I admire a great deal) and people with whom I have commiserated in the private chats, where we have had conversations along the lines of "Did you hear what X did to Y, what they said," "How they kicked her to the curb?" etc. Many involving our "revered" (NOT!) mods. You may be surprised to know (unless you spy on the PMs) how many negative feelings there are about the mods and certain members, the mods because of a certain arrogance and a kind of Nazi-like insistence that anything other than their way is NOT RIGHT. (No personal opinions on protocol allowed here ...).

I wouldn't doubt if you have read those PMs anyway, in spite of the fact that they are supposed to be private and I know others who are convinced of that also. I don't hold a whole lot of trust in this place.

It's not even worth it to hold a convo about this; it's so pointless and futile. Adios.
cluelessinpacificnw
 
Posts: 61
Joined: Fri May 20, 2016 6:06 pm

Re: where is the best place to start here?

Postby cheeps » Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:09 pm

:wave: and of course.....Maybe you'll get those panties out your crack one day.


Gotta love she said, he said. :popcorn: ....not.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9259
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

PreviousNext

Return to Sub Sux

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: nomojo3479 and 3 guests