I guess it's been a while since I've updated my thread. There's nothing like an anniversary to do it, I guess. It's hard to believe I'm almost at a whole fucking year. It has been one of the most memorable years of my life so far. I feel like I was reborn, learned to crawl, learned to sprint and now I'm back to a walking a steady pace. I have made mistakes along the way, but I have learned from them by learning about myself. This is the longest that I can remember that I haven't had any drugs at all (since a kid obv.)...I haven't even vaped weed...not because I'm against it but it just feels like a cool thing to say to myself..."eyedotz, you have been clean and sober...totally. For 'this' long...." I sit here today and close my eyes and I can honestly NOT feel any ill effects of long-term sub. I believe PAWS has been pretty much wrapped up. The ONE thing I do miss about subs is sleeping. I despise the fact that I can't sleep in....ever. The sun comes up and boink...eyedotz are open. Oh, the thought of sleeping till 9am would be heavenly!! At least I can take naps sometimes....usually 20 mins long but they def help.
Anyway, beautiful day up here today...It's funny that 40 degrees feels gorgeous...I walked around the back bay because it was semi-plowed and I could smell the ocean. Gawd, I miss the sun's rays. It really has been tough this winter. I'm in a mode of self-sabotage where I've been avoiding working out...If I can't go outside, I punish myself with yummy treats. Back-asswards I know. Spring IS coming though...It gets dark at 5:30 now instead of 3:45...come on evening sunsets! I'm waiting for you!
Thank you to all my friends that have stuck around and continued to read my story unfold. Love, dotz
PS. Fuck you subs