Subblind, It is called sulbutiamine. I tried sam-e and 5-htp and oddly, after a bit I felt they made me feel more down. So, I started looking for something else. Sulbutiamine is apparently a form of vitamin B1/thiamine that moves through the BBB better. So, it seemed benign enough, and I believe I have some B deficiencies, so I started it. First couple days I felt a little wonky on it, but I often feel wonky, so kept up with it and then I started to feel really good. Like, I didn't feel like I was dying from exhaustion at night anymore. A few days in, I just felt too good to not get suspicious, and after reading more about sulbutamine, it apparently decreases dopamine in the prefrontal cortex, but this eventually causes the receptors to upregulate, so there are more places for dopamine to bind. So maybe the first few days I took it, I felt wonky from low dopamine, and then when my receptor density went up, I started to feel a bit euphoric? Or maybe it was coincidence.
Either way, I will play around with it some more sometimes, but don't want to screw up my taper. But I also don't want to punish myself out of some weird reasoning that I need to feel bad all the time.
Eyedotz, congratulations on ten months! Woooo!