Eyedotz Taper I jumped!

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Re: Eyedotz Taper I jumped!

Postby Annalo57 » Sat Oct 21, 2017 8:45 am

Hey Dotz. Just wanted to say that I am so sorry for your loss. Loss is hard, and especially when you're sober. But as you say it's supposed to happen. Losses part of life. The fact that you wee there and sober is a huge thing. So don't focus on anything except that you were there and she knew it, inside. People, no matter how sick they are, know when you're there. My Granny knew it, my Mom knew it and my Pop knew it. Even if I was always my best self. You are in the place that many of us are trying to get to. Give yourself a ton of credit. Cry, laugh, scream, rant. Do whatever your sober self needs to do. You have been there for me. You are awesome. My most heartfelt condolences.

Be well Dotz. Be well. Your Grandma is proud.

:kiss:

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Re: Eyedotz Taper I jumped!

Postby nomojo3479 » Sun Oct 22, 2017 9:18 am

Eyedotz,
Super glad u updated us. I’m sorry about ur vision prognosis. Anyway, it’s really inspiring to hear ur still sub free.
I love this;) u broke the chains! Congrats!
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Re: Eyedotz Taper I jumped!

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:23 am

Hey Eyedotz, any news on the eye? i just read your post about it and the clinical trials sound intense... Is there any idea on if bupe usage may have contributed to the early onset of your condition? I find it strange that so many of us have such wonky eye problems after discontinuing bupe.
Wishing you well my subsux sister!
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
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Re: Eyedotz Taper I jumped!

Postby Eyedotz » Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:47 am

I have it in both eyes. One is worse than the other. I've been in touch with the study and they want me to come to Boston for a barrage of tests. It's basically the same tests I just had except I will also have genetic testing. There have been some recent discoveries with all the research that's been done. Researchers seem to think the 'slow metabolism' (Hello fucking suboxone) is a trait all MacTel patients have. I was on long term opioids for over 20 years so metabolism may certainly be a thing. Also, refined sugar seems to be a fucking possible melting pot for making symptoms worse. I am currently taking steps to change my diet. I am trying to will my eyes to heal... it won't work but it doesn't stop me from trying. As far as the clinical trial goes, at this point, I have only agreed to do the testing. At my age of 41, I feel that the risks may be too high for surgery. If something goes wrong, I may lose eyesight sooner or get injured.... any myriad of things freak me the fuck out. Nevermind having someone slice my eyeballs. I still want to be involved in the study though...maybe in a year or two I'll change my mind about going under the knife. I hate the way 'my' specialist basically said, "you have mactel2, no treatment, have a nice life, see you in 4 months." I found everything out on my own....in a sense, it's like tapering sub. There is no guide...we did this shit ourselves. At the least, I hope that participating in the study that it will help others that come after me.

Vision is something we take for granted until it is threatened. I went for a sunset walk last night and actually ended up crying on the side of the path. The sky was just so beautiful and it was heart wrenching to imagine a future without skies and clouds. I have issues reading sometimes...dead spots in my vision. So far, my brain seems to be able to read anyway but it will get worse. Think about it: no video games, skies, reading, TV, Driving, working... it all seems rather grim sometimes. For now, I refuse to let it get me down. When/if those days come, I will deal with it then. I will put on my walking shoes and look at everything....I mean really look.

Thanks for checking in Cheez. It forced me to do an update!

By the way everyone.... I saw a fucking butterfly....in Maine....on November 3...72 degrees. What the ever-loving fuck? LOVE IT!!!

:boobshake: :boobshake: :boobshake: :kiss: :kiss: :kiss:
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
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13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
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Re: Eyedotz Taper I jumped!

Postby cheeps » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:52 am

It was me.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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