SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

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SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Mon Jul 13, 2015 6:37 pm

hey folks,

im in the midst of a tough w/d from being on a dosage of 0.75mg of sub a day for several years now (its crazy how fast time goes by when you are 'subbed-out'). i made my situation worse by 'taking breaks' with full-agonists. so after all that, i am pretty sick and fucking tired of living this way so i decided enough was enough. i am on day four with no sub and it is kicking the crap out of me - after doing a bunch of research (and reading tons of posts by you guys) i realized the only way i am going to make it through this sub-withdrawal with my sanity intact is to write about it on a day-to-day basis. i've been to rehab and kicked sub before, but i was kicking off a larger amount that i was only prescribed for a short time (but it still took me 15 days of agony before i felt any relief or sense of being normal). for this w/d i am ready for it to be a long one, and because i am not in a supervised-setting i am going to need a lot of support to not slip up and restart this shit. thanks for all the future help!! btw, this site deserves a nobel prize - best work i have seen in a long time on a pretty controversial subject.

sincerely,

-turbo
Last edited by turbo on Tue Aug 25, 2015 8:11 am, edited 3 times in total.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby iwantout » Mon Jul 13, 2015 6:58 pm

I know somewhat how you feel. Although my timeframes are a bit different. I went through a benzo withdrawal 2 years ago. And it took me a good maybe 18 months to recover from that. But I suspect taking Subs during the whole process may have compounded the situation, I'm not really sure. I was prescribed the subs and recently jumped after tapering down to .37mg. But the benzos I took without a prescription throughout. Although it was only about 1mg a day (snorted) it was still a living fucking nightmare getting off those things.

My suggestion would be........ honestly I don't know. It depends. If you can handle it definitely suck it up and get it over with. But if you can't there's no dishonor in tapering down some before you try to jump again. I'm not sure if thats an option or what. It affects different people differently.

One thing about suboxone though the longer you stay on it the harder it is to get off. So I definitely would stay on this path no matter what you choose. You're making things easier on yourself no matter what your timeframes are. 2-3 years from now it will only be much harder

There are people here who jumped from situations like yours and from bigger doses. And are living normal lives now. You've come to the right place.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby syd » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:03 pm

Hi Turbo!

I commend you on making the decision that you have had enough. It's gonna be a bit of a rough ride, I'm sure you know. And depending on how long you were on the benzo's, you could very well still be feeling the withdrawals from them. We have had member here get off them and suffered for a long time.
That bad news is, you cant risk using benzo's to help you sleep.

The good news is, we have plenty of people that jumped from much higher doses. It wasnt pretty, but they made it. Anne is our current "high jumper". Check out her thread in the Crisis Forum.

So, bitch, moan, curse and let it out. That's what we are here for.

Welcome to SS.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:15 pm

iwantout,

thanks for responding. benzo withdrawal is something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy - it has to be some of the worst depression i have ever endured in my life. i cannot imagine trying to w/d from both sub and benzo addiction at the same time - not to mention the potential health risks involved. i guess being 31 years old i am just tired of making excuses and am really trying to stop being dependent on subs - especially since i know how much better i feel when i am not on them. even on day four of w/d i am already appreciating life more - music sounds better, things i read motivate me, and my sense of humor is returning. subs not only seemed to block those things (and withdrawal), but were beginning to block who i really am as a person too. i know that i cannot begin to be completely happy until i get off of sub. i agree that the longer you are on sub the harder it is to get off - how long have you been off subs? thanks again for responding, i wish you nothing but the best my friend.
Last edited by turbo on Tue Jul 14, 2015 6:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby cheeps » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:20 pm

Hi Turbo....add yup. to the list of current high jumpers. But hey....it doesn't matter what the dose....each person goes thru the same type of shit, just on a different day....and it all sucks ass and nutsack.

I hope you do use us as a journal...if you post, even when you are garbled in the brain, we will try to be here for you. Use the PM feature if you don't get answers to questions or if the rope gets thin.


Day Four....this is the shit part as you well know. Please drink water like a fish!! Do you have any imodium or comfort meds?
10 yrs on methadone
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More surgeries 2016-17
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:29 pm

syd,

thanks for the welcome to SS. im not a big proponent of 12 step meetings, NA, etc, so this site might have to endure some of my angry withdrawal ramblings haha. i will check out some of the higher jump posts to get a feel for what i might be in for - i know that everyone is different - but at least we are all working towards the same goals. maybe in the near future, someone can get some relief by reading what i went through, eh? see i'm already getting more positive!! anyways, yes my fuckups with benzos (xanax) will prevent me from getting any of the sweet sleep benefits they provide, but no matter, i march on determined! what are your views on the OTC medicines such as loperamide for w/d relief? ive read a lot of differing opinions on it, mostly, many say moderation is key since it can possibly cause worse withdrawal symptoms down the line. thanks for your response!

-turbo
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:49 pm

cheeps,

i am drinking lots of water, and i took some immodium today to deal with the impending stomach issues i know are coming (been through this before - didn't learn my lesson like an idiot). what are some other comfort meds (besides benzos) that i can try? the rope is already thin concerning the sleep issues - i just seem to toss and turn all night long and wake up more tired than when i started. the cold sweats and skin tingling are two issues i am dealing with right now at the end of day four - AND THEY SUCK BAD. thanks for your reply - i am sure you have lots of advice for people in my situation.

-turbo
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby cheeps » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:52 pm

I'm a big believer in loperdine/mide whatever....but it should be taken about every other day....along with plain stool softeners.....and for no longer than two weeks. We did have someone get hooked on it. His name was joel....he was on like 60mgs a day? For a long time I believe.

Anyway....welcome to town.

Just saw your last post.....you need some flexiril or some clonidine. Also some neurontin would be nice. Can you get any of these?
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby cheeps » Mon Jul 13, 2015 7:57 pm

10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper halted
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Mon Jul 13, 2015 8:03 pm

cheeps,

60 mgs of lope is a lot to be on for long period of time, i will be careful not to get there. as for the other meds you mentioned, do you think my doctor will prescribe those to me if i explain my situation? keep in mind i was not on subs legally. i have taken neurontin before for others sleep-related issues in the past, but i have just recently read about the benefits they can give to those in withdrawal. day four is almost over - man time crawls by when you are in w/d!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

sincerely,

-turbo
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby cheeps » Mon Jul 13, 2015 8:22 pm

I'd put it on the line to him. Is he your regular DR?
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Mon Jul 13, 2015 8:40 pm

yes he is. and he is a great doctor who would not judge me in a any way as long as im honest about what's going on..

sincerely,

-turbo
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby cheeps » Mon Jul 13, 2015 10:34 pm

Then get neurontin at least 300-600 three times a day
10mg Flexirils
Clonidines .1mgs

He'll know what to do.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby amery2u » Tue Jul 14, 2015 4:14 pm

Hiya Turbo, and welcome to SS!

If you really want off this shit, you have found the right place. I couldn't have done it without these people above, posting in your thread. Not sure if you read mine; its under "amery2u" my screen name, but I'm Anne. Yup and I recently (3 months ago for me, more for him) jumped off 8 mg. Yeah. Talk about hell-in-a-handbag, especially with no comfort meds, because I didn't GET my subs from a real doctor; just from a guy at work that thought he WAS one, for 3+ years.

IwantOut has some GREAT insight. . . . and is very well-versed, as you see! (Luvya, IWO~!!) Cheeps and Syd (and SO MANY OTHERS...READ MY THREAD!~) helped SAVE MY LIFE, by putting up with my postings here (all 25 pages!) and offering their songs, insight, comfort of my whinings and slip-ups ~ etc etc etc..... ! MyNameIsDan and RunTheMachine are two other success stories; they don't get on here that often but actually keep in touch. RC51guy and Yup are my JUMP buddies. . . as is Neil and DonPisto.

If that's not enough reading, PM me. . . I'll advise! Congrats, and welcome to SS again, Turbo!

Ttys, stick around!
You'll LOVE the new you. . . i do.
Anne :)
Sub-Free Since Easter Sunday~ 4/11/2015 . . and still truckin~..~
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby syd » Tue Jul 14, 2015 7:28 pm

It's a blessing to have a dr. that is understanding. Once you say the "A" word, it's usually Adios, from most of them.

Well, you've got some info on tapering and comfort meds. Keep us posted! If you need anything, just ask.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby amery2u » Tue Jul 14, 2015 8:25 pm

Syd....so glad to see you really actively back here, btw. It means the world to me.

More than you know.

~Anne~
thank you.
Sub-Free Since Easter Sunday~ 4/11/2015 . . and still truckin~..~
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Tue Jul 14, 2015 9:57 pm

wow,

thanks guys for all the insightful replies/advice! well, i finally did it - i bit the bullet and got rid of all the contacts in my phone who have access to sub so i would not be tempted to slip up and start all over. i also got rid of all my sub-use paraphernalia. i have a doctors appointment set up later this week to try and obtain some of the comfort meds that 'cheeps' suggested (see above post). day five has been about the same physically as day four, but i was able to get some sleep last night, which really rejuvenated me. i also was able to eat almost three meals (plus tons of water - no caffeine), something i had been struggling with throughout the last four days. i am an avid runner - i typically try to run 6 to 8 miles a day 6x's a week - starting tomorrow i am going to slowly get back into that routine, as i know from previous withdrawals that exercise can bring a lot of relief, even if temporarily. hot showers and baths are really helping me, especially before i go to bed. i am also constantly downing bottles of water to stay hydrated as my withdrawals seem to sap all of the water i drink out of me. so far, my mental state is very strong and my determination has not weakened. i know i can do this! thankfully i am taking some online graduate-school classes this summer and my work schedule has been very manageable thus far. i have a house to myself (well i have a terrier named 'saber-tooth') with a big backyard, so i am able to go outside and roast away the w/d chills in this 110 degree heat we are experiencing at the moment in the south. my mental state is very good, and i continue to be determined to fight the good fight and get over this bullshit. again, i cannot express how much i appreciate you guys and your helpful insights - i read this site constantly. well time to close the lid on day five - bless you all.

sincerely,

-turbo
Last edited by turbo on Wed Jul 15, 2015 7:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby cheeps » Tue Jul 14, 2015 10:03 pm

Turbo....kick that ass!!!!! just be careful not to over do it. The exercise is GREAT though....one of the best things you can do....when you feel up to it....do some interval running instead of steady runs. But be careful as during detox the heart rate and blood pressure can get higher than normal. That's why you must check your body. Get a bp cuff....don't stress over it but let it guide you.
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby turbo » Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:19 pm

hey guys/gals,

quick question: does the use of nicotine tend to make sub withdrawal symptoms worse? i have an itaste VV electronic cigarette that i vape on daily with a 6mg e-liquid (i use 'snake oil' - it is strawberry melon and very good). i still smoke one or two regular cigs a day - i was never a 'serious' smoker' - and am in the process of quitting traditional smoking altogether (id like to avoid lung cancer).

in other news, i was able to run five miles outside in the brutal heat this afternoon (110 DEGREES WITH THE HEAT INDEX YIKES!) and felt great until i got home, when of course the w/d's began again shortly about an hour after my workout. today has been weird, at times throughout today i feel great with minimal w/d symptoms, but during other parts of today i absolutely feel worse, so I'm definitely going through it. well ive made it through half of day 6 - hopefully i can get some sleep tonight after my short work shift which should help me keep my mind off of how crappy i feel.

sincerely ready for this to be over,
-turbo
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Re: SUB WD IS KILLING ME!!!!!!!!!

Postby rc51guy » Wed Jul 15, 2015 3:50 pm

Keep up the exercise, but in that type of heat PLEASE keep yourself hydrated. Drink a TON of water. Day 6 is AWESOME and you sound pretty darn good. Its going to be up and down now for a little while. You'll have moments of feeling "normal" and then in a couple hours you wont feel good again. Its a roller coaster for sure. The good thing is, that you'll continually progress from here on out. You'll begin to feel better more often. Dont be caught off guard though...you may have some days where you dont feel good at all. Dont dwell on those times...focus on feeling better and doing healthy things.

Nicotine - I quit smoking cigs a while ago, But I do vape. I can tell you without a doubt that nicotine is a stimulant and it certainly CAN make it worse. It sucks...What do smokers do when theyre stressed and the anxiety sets in? They smoke. Try and find something else to do. Or drop the nicotine in your juice to 3 or less. Stimulants make anxiety and restlessness worse.
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