1, 2, 3... jump...

Sub Sucks and if you havent figured that out yet.. please read a few posts

Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 13, 2015 8:21 pm

grant9120 wrote:123 days. 4 months. man... time flies when your havin fun! lol



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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby Kwolfe3631 » Sat Feb 14, 2015 8:27 am

Holy shit! Just read this thread all you you are the shit! Just fucking amazing....I have been playing with the idea of jumping at .8 but this thread just gave me so much hope. All of you thank you so much. I totally agree that during the taper you must focus on routine and make sure you have a solid foundation for the final jump.....recently I have been seriously getting in a good routine.....paying bills in collections.....getting in payment plans for money owed to various agencies.....going to the gym.....dentist.....doctor.....etc...etc.... If I just started taking .8 how long do you guys think I should stay at each dose right now I'm doing 5 days and then a 25% drop which a lot of you seem to agree with, but let's say I drop and I still feel mild withdraws for a couple hours a day....should I stay on or keep with my schedule?
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby cheeps » Sat Feb 14, 2015 12:04 pm

Increase to 7 days to ten days....give your body time....time is your best friend.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Sat Feb 14, 2015 4:34 pm

cheeps is right. but stick to the plan. always be pushing urself a little bit. embrace the discomfort. when i would drop too big.... i noticed that i wouldnt be able to get rid of the withdrawals by simply taking more sub..... it must have had to do with the build up.

on i side note.... i had paws for the past two days i think...

even at 4 months... ur still fragile...
there was a lot going on that could have triggered it. it was several episodes of
"fight or flight" reaction that i had to fight off..... i wont call it anxiety..... because it was physical.

couple things it could be.

a) i tore a ligament in my neck wrestling last sunday and havent been able to work out for a week. i have worked out 5 days a week, an hour a day for the past 7 months.

b) i had a couple nights of zero sleep because of the pain

c) the pain was like knives and perhaps my body was pumping adrenaline to offset it??? if this is an actual thing....

d) i went to the chiropractor on monday... was still in serious pain ..... have like 10 tramadol left....

took one.... then another 5 or 6 hours later.... threw the rest out..... cause it didnt help, so it wasnt even worth it....

just "remembering" being on opiates may have had something to do with it....

point is.... it was a perfect storm for some paws....

im good now. hadnt even had a bad day since like day 40..... so id say its still a cakewalk
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Wed Apr 01, 2015 7:54 am

Didn't realize it. Decided to add it up again today. I'm at 172 days. A week short of 6 months. I had one week of all out paws recently. Very depressed. But other than that. I'm great. Oh I still have stomach issues. I'm gassy and my stomach rumbles still. And my stuff is still loose sometime. It's hard to imagine that the subs could cause this for 6 months. But I have read of others who have said it lasted that long.
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby runthemachine » Wed Apr 01, 2015 8:14 am

grant,

SUPER-great stuff, dude. Big ups on your 6 months. Another 6, and I'll bet paws & tummy troubles are just unpleasant memories. Really proud, and very happy for ya, bro.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Wed Apr 01, 2015 9:12 am

Thanks. Appreciate it man! .... The one other interesting thing is that my blood pressure was always about 120 over 68 on subs. And now it's been like 138 over 75 off subs. I dunno if that is just because opiates slow your heart rate or something ????
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Wed Apr 22, 2015 11:21 am

194 days :)

just checking in....

digestion issues have been much better.

i have had some generalized anxiety.....

i havent gone "philosophical" in quite some time..... but i believe that one of the reasons some depression or anxiety may hit months or even 6-12 months down the road of being sober, is the expectation that if you just "hit 6 months" or "hit a year" .... everything will be "normal" ..... youll be "high of life"....

but as we all know, our expectations are distorted by the drug use..... 5 years of abusing.... do i even remember what life was like before? .... well, let me think for a second..... oh yeah, back then, i just numbed any uncomfortable feelings by living the constant crazy college life.... girls, friends, beer..... so that whole fog doesnt really count..... ok, lets go back 5 more years to high school..... well junior and senior year.... friends, girls, weed, drinking, having fun...... and by the way, i had a little 2 month straight run in with vicadin in high school..... i was so aloof of it, that when i ran out, and got "sick" i remember looking up on the internet whether taking vicodin every day could do that to you..... 3-4 days of hell, and i would have no more run-ins with painkillers until oxy about 4 years later......

anyhoo, my point is, if we go all the way back, before all the partying, substances, and craziness...... i remember, as a kid, i was depressed a lot..... never anxiety really, i dont think. but why would i have anxiety? .... i had a stable home and didnt have to worry about provision..... like i do now. i didnt have to be a man. i was a kid.

point being..... life without substances, can be hard....specially for someone who has used substances as a crutch for so long. we need to have realistic expectations. getting sober can be exciting at first...... then when you realize..... your not gonna be constantly euphoricly happy like you thought you were on opiates.... there could be a let down..... just keep chugging..... and get used to the new normal....and it will become, normal.... embrace it.

when i have anxiety that hinders me, i take a fourth of one of my klonipan pills and that seems to help, while not impairing me at the same time. i was prescribed ten .5 mg k-pans when i first got off subs 6 and a half months ago, and still have 4 left...... so, yeah..... not bad. point being.... i dont take anything unless i need it, can handle it, and it doesnt impair me.
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby cheeps » Wed Apr 22, 2015 1:44 pm

Grant....that's good shit.

Really good.....

The other reason....which is basically what you are saying but my take on it.....is.....you are grown up now. This is what this old fucker told her children when they were teens.

The first part of your 20's is for growing up and finishing education.
The second part, after 25 is for forging better relationships and finding your job after you train for what you really want to do.
The 30's are for marriage and family if you have kids. Also for getting too involved at work.
The 40's are the teen years for your kids, so watch out....don't disengage...try to stay married!
The 50's are great! Empty nest and bad backs! Freedom from kids! But a sense of "thank god...more me" time. Get divorced if you need to.
The 60's? Time to go do shit you couldn't do before...develop itchy foot in a good way. Volunteer somewhere fun and rewarding. Work if you have to....let it be something you like.
The 70's.....still more time to volunteer, reflect, write, play goof....play with the grandkids....work a part time job.
The 80's....you get to stay active and talk shit to the youngsters...but they don't listen. They just show up and take your money. :lol:
The 90's....sitting on the porch getting wasted....trying to remember who all these damn relatives are!


I'm just glad you are coming out of the fog now. My message to my kids was....don't waste your 20's....it's your ME time until you're 55!!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Sun Nov 22, 2015 4:14 pm

well.... i was just checking in to see the date i jumped....

and i guess i missed my 1 year anniversary....

its been 1 year 1 month and 1 week....

life is normal. that means ups and downs. i get anxiety. ill get depressed for a week.... and ill have months where i feel great and nothing goes wrong. thats life.

its normal.

this is the new normal. subs was the old normal. but im back to being "normal" off subs again.

i guess the fact that i missed my 1 year anniversery just proves that.

seems like it wasnt that long ago i was on here freaking out and overthinking everything.... julez and cheeps will remember.

anyway. just wanted to say hi.
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby cheeps » Sun Nov 22, 2015 8:55 pm

Grant...I love it when peeps forget where they are in their detox journey...one year, one month, one week...that's pretty neat...i'z wondering where you were! Overthinking! lol....yep...you did!

I think you'll always have some anxiety...I know I do....but I can pinpoint what it's about and that's a big relief...I've had a few panic attacks in the past couple of months...hope you haven't had that shit.

So, you and foster will be clean and happy for the holiday's...last year....yall were probably sweating it!

Don't be a stranger....check in more often if you remember!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Mon Nov 23, 2015 9:51 am

cheeps....

oh the panic attacks lol....

only someone who has had them will understand. haha.

i had a few during the initial phases of detox....

i havent had "severe" ones in a while....

i randomly had one briefer more mild one about a month ago..... but i have klonipan prescribed in case of panic attacks. so i was able to take one of those and i was okay after that.

but yeah.... i can relate. wouldnt wish a panic attack on anyone. even once an attack is over..... i would be exhausted and depressed for the rest of the day. if not the next day too...
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Sun Dec 04, 2016 10:52 am

Sorry for the lack of update in a while guys...

It's been over 2 years now. Not sure how long.

There's a " new normal " and it's pretty good !

I got a great job that I love as a technical recruiter in San Diego, CA!!! ( moved from Ohio a little less than a year ago ). And I'm enganged now !!! To be married in April !

A lot has changed. ☺️ ... by Gods grace

Hope everyone is well. Subs still suck. Keep chugging along wherever your at in the journey.

Couldn't figure out how to add a picture
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Posts: 286
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sun Dec 04, 2016 2:25 pm

Holy shit, this is a thread I needed to read! Awesome stuff.

Thank you for updating...and congratulations on the engagement!
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby cheeps » Wed Dec 07, 2016 12:38 pm

You go grant!!! Happy trails to you!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby grant9120 » Mon Apr 10, 2017 5:20 pm

Getting married in San Diego May 20

grantandamber.com

feel great!

still have anxiety every once in a while that i dont think i had before subs..... but for the most part, im normal! yay!!!

you know whats funny, sometimes i literally have nightmares that im still on subs....and then i wake up like "thank goodness"
-Oxy in 08, Subs 09-14
-spent 3 months tapering and forming better habits
-jumped from .05 mg on 10/13 and felt no difference between the last few weeks of the taper and cutting completely. little to no withdrawal.

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I refuse to take credit for anything.
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Posts: 286
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby cheeps » Sat Jul 01, 2017 6:42 pm

You go grant!!!


Live life on your terms....fuck sub....you are done!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: 1, 2, 3... jump...

Postby Lucy » Sun Jul 02, 2017 7:28 am

This thread is a wonderful read. What a great success story Grant's journey is. Very inspiring and encouraging for me as someone just beginning to tread that same path
Reducing from 32mg. Dropped from 26mg to 16mg 8th July 2017. August 1st 12mg.
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