Quittin Time!!

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Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Fri Dec 08, 2017 7:11 am

So here we go start of day 6... I'm really starting to think that my torturous year and a half taper is making all the difference in the world. My last jump attempts were always around 2 mg with no tapering what so ever(asking for it I know). Don't get me wrong I'm not disillusioned about what lies ahead, I know that this is going to be a long hard road and I am humbled and grateful for a chance a living again!!

Went to my x subdocs yesterday and couldn't believe the greedy fucker was there.. Was able to get gaba, clonidine and flexiril.. Not so sure if I'm gonna need them but it's nice knowing I have them if shit gets to rough to handle.. Even though I do feel for whoever takes my place there it felt so good to walk out of that place for the last time!!! I'm still waiting for the shit to hit da fan, but damn day six and I've been feeling better each day sence day 2 so far.. Still sleeping a solid 6 hours a night and my appetite is stronger than ever..The gooseflesh has gotten less and less and Ive actually been really productive at work and home the last two days... I flushed my precut pieces of .08 after getting da comfort meds last night, and I'm getting rid of my 12 extra 2 mg strips to a friend who's struggling to taper off subsolv right now...still smoking a bit of bud each day and have been taking 5htp as well at bed time..


I watched the sun rise from the top of a building at work yesterday morning and it looked so amazing the way the light was shining through them clouds and the colors were amazing..Music sounds so amazing too, last night all these memories of all the shows I used to go see were popping in my head... I started playing songs I hadn't listen to in years and was getting these Hardcore chills up the back of my neck..

Emotions are running strong as well..Tearing up if not crying over just about anything of meaning to me. My wife had a rough day at work yesterday and I was overwhelmed with this sence of emphethy and just went up and gave her a hug and told her everything's gonna be okay.. Judging by her reaction she was actually taken back a bit by it I think..Shit so was I.. I tucked my kids in for bed and hugged them like I hadn't seen them in a dogs age fighting back the urge to not ball my eyes out..

At any rate I know there's gonna be some extreme lows coming my way soon but damn it feels good to just feel again!!!

Hope everyone is well today- Tim

@ Cheeps- if you get a sec can you please change my handle to subjumpa cause there's no way I'm going back to being a wannabe- fuc dat noise! Thanks
Last edited by Wannabesubjumpa on Fri Dec 08, 2017 4:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Subtaper

Postby Eyedotz » Fri Dec 08, 2017 8:20 am

Tim you fucking rock man! I loved how good it felt when I first got off sub. You feel like a newborn experiencing things for the first time. Music is unbelievable and I’m a huge fan of sunsets (to this day) and can’t believe I went all those years not looking up at the sky. I’m so glad your skip day became your jump date!... it’s been great keeping up with your thread. What’s even cooler about your story is the fact that you tried multiple jumps before on higher doses that were unsuccessful AND you were able to come back and do a low taper and had a completely different experience! Again, it proves the point that slow low tapers are very effective!

Hugs dude... very proud of of you. ~ dotz
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Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Fri Dec 08, 2017 10:31 am

Just wanted to tell you how happy & proud I am of you Tim! You did it the right way this time & it's paying off in spades. It's so great that you're sleeping so well. A well rested body is a happy body. There is no doubt in my mind that you will continue to thrive.

Keep up the good work & best of luck in the days & months to come!
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Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Sat Dec 09, 2017 5:08 am

Wannabesubjumpa wrote:So here we go start of day 6... I'm really starting to think that my torturous year and a half taper is making all the difference in the world. My last jump attempts were always around 2 mg with no tapering what so ever(asking for it I know). Don't get me wrong I'm not disillusioned about what lies ahead, I know that this is going to be a long hard road and I am humbled and grateful for a chance a living again!!

Went to my x subdocs yesterday and couldn't believe the greedy fucker was there.. Was able to get gaba, clonidine and flexiril.. Not so sure if I'm gonna need them but it's nice knowing I have them if shit gets to rough to handle.. Even though I do feel for whoever takes my place there it felt so good to walk out of that place for the last time!!! I'm still waiting for the shit to hit da fan, but damn day six and I've been feeling better each day sence day 2 so far.. Still sleeping a solid 6 hours a night and my appetite is stronger than ever..The gooseflesh has gotten less and less and Ive actually been really productive at work and home the last two days... I flushed my precut pieces of .08 after getting da comfort meds last night, and I'm getting rid of my 12 extra 2 mg strips to a friend who's struggling to taper off subsolv right now...still smoking a bit of bud each day and have been taking 5htp as well at bed time..


I watched the sun rise from the top of a building at work yesterday morning and it looked so amazing the way the light was shining through them clouds and the colors were amazing..Music sounds so amazing too, last night all these memories of all the shows I used to go see were popping in my head... I started playing songs I hadn't listen to in years and was getting these Hardcore chills up the back of my neck..

Emotions are running strong as well..Tearing up if not crying over just about anything of meaning to me. My wife had a rough day at work yesterday and I was overwhelmed with this sence of emphethy and just went up and gave her a hug and told her everything's gonna be okay.. Judging by her reaction she was actually taken back a bit by it I think..Shit so was I.. I tucked my kids in for bed and hugged them like I hadn't seen them in a dogs age fighting back the urge to not ball my eyes out..

At any rate I know there's gonna be some extreme lows coming my way soon but damn it feels good to just feel again!!!

Hope everyone is well today- Tim

@ Cheeps- if you get a sec can you please change my handle to subjumpa cause there's no way I'm going back to being a wannabe- fuc dat noise! Thanks



oh shit tim...I can't do it. BUT you can re register a new name and stART a new thread and I'll cut and paste the last few jump posts into it.


SIX days!!! I didnt realize you had REALLY stopped, I thought you were skipping days still....DUH CHEEPS!!!.....Just DUH!! :ogeez: :ogeez: :punchballs: :spank: :spank: :spank:


Please forgive me for being an idiot! I've spent the last two days in the bed.....but I had to for my backs sake.
10 yrs on methadone
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Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
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Re: Subtaper

Postby syd » Sat Dec 09, 2017 2:27 pm

For M4zer & you, SubJumpa.

Good job on jumping. What a great Christmas gift you gave yourselves.

Regarding the upper resp. ish...Almost everyone gets them after stopping opiates.

Cheeps got her info backwards, tho. I am posting this at her request.

Opiates stimulate histamine release. That's why you get the opy itchies. It's when you discontinue them that you get congested.

Try your best to ride it out and DO NOT take any OTC meds because of Pseudoephedrine. This is the worst possible shit you can take while going thru opiate detox. It exacerbates all the symptoms of opiate w/d. It acts like speed, in that it makes your blood pressure go up, causes tacycardia, contributes to anxiety/restlessness and Worst of all, it will keep you awake at night.

And it's in Everything, especially decongestants & multi symptom cold relief meds. Google for the list. It is extensive. Regular ole Benadryl (Dipenhydramine) is your best bet. It's what's in ZZQuil that makes ppl sleep.

Try putting a dab of Vicks Vapo Rub at the edge of your nostrils. Most anything with Camphor will help congestion.
They are both flammable, so dont light a ciggy/bong, etc, with it on your snout.
Probably a good idea to keep it away from your genitals, too.
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Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:07 pm

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl:

You mean I gotta sell this puesdoshit to the nearest meth head?

Don't rub it on yer NUTS OR Lips....that got me :cheers: :wired: :rofl:
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Re: Subtaper

Postby syd » Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:31 pm

cheeps wrote::lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl:

You mean I gotta sell this puesdoshit to the nearest meth head?

Don't rub it on yer NUTS OR Lips....that got me :cheers: :wired: :rofl:



Um, yes. The DEA limits how much Sudafed, etc you can purchase. Meth heads were going from town to town, cleaning it off the shelves to make speed. So the govt cracked down on it.
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Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Sat Dec 09, 2017 3:52 pm

Just dropping in to see how you're doing today Tim. Hoping that all is going really well. We're all so happy for you. :)

Getting off this stuff isn't easy and you've done all the right things for a successful jump. There are many watching you & more that are lurking to see your successful jump.

Keep up the great work! :clap:
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Quittin Time

Postby SubJumpa » Sun Dec 10, 2017 5:24 pm

Thanks peeps for all the awesome feedback and information. I will certainly heed the warning and keep the vapo rub away from my junk :lol:

Day 8 and doing surprisingly really well still. The chills have totally subsided and my respiratory issues are better as well.. Feeling pretty lethargic energy wise at times and a little bit stuck on stupid mentally the past two days, but I really can't complain given my past experiences with this crap.. in fact so far I am really still shocked and feel like it's still going to get a lot worse before things get better.. All I can say with any bit of certainty at this point is going low and slow has been a completely different experience than my previous ones!! It's kind of strange- tapering off this shit over the last year and a half consumed my every thought for so long it's like I don't know what to think right now..I know this is when the real work begins (staying clean) and I'm hoping that in learning how to exercise patience with the taper a bit I can continue to be patient with the way things progress/ digress going forward..

Still have sub stash on hand and told my buddy if he doesn't take them by tommorrow I'm burning those fuckers!! I I have had no desire to even entertain the thought of taking any...but I'm not taking any chances this time around!!

Woke to 6 inches of powda here In NH and it was all I could do today to clean it up.... but pushed through and got r done somehow.. Just trying to keep things simple right now and be grateful for the small victories each day!! Hope everyone is hanging in there as well!!

Much love Tim
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Re: Quittin Time

Postby cheeps » Sun Dec 10, 2017 5:29 pm

Tim!!! Let me do a little tweaking here so everyone can bow down and kiss your snowshoes. You and mz4er are pretty much jumpbuddies so that is just so fucking supercool!
10 yrs on methadone
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Oxy free 12/06/14
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Re: Quittin Time

Postby SubJumpa » Sun Dec 10, 2017 5:33 pm

Thanks Cheeps- who's better than you- that's right nobody!! Hope your well today and thanks again for everything!!
Best T
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby m4zer » Sun Dec 10, 2017 10:26 pm

Cheeps linked me to your thread from mine so I just wanted to hop in and say good job brother and stay strong! I totally agree about listening to music again, I used to listen to podcasts all the time driving to work, at work, and working out but I find myself listening to a lot more music, it just sounds better! Opiates/opiods really rob you of the many small joys in life with their one big presence. It's probably no coincidence we both got sick after quitting too. Cool to hear you're up in NH, a fellow New Englander as well as a jump buddy. My family has a small plot of land with a little cabin near Newfound Lake, I love it up there. (Masshole here)
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Mon Dec 11, 2017 12:40 am

Tim/SUBJUMPA!

I’ve been following your thread knowing you were very close to ending but I lost track somehow. Congratulations straight from my heart. A year and and a half of contending with and enduring the physical, mental, psychological and emotional roller coaster ride of a sub taper is more than enough payment for your freedom.

I have been feeling down because I feel sub tapering has monopolized my thoughts and my life. When I read what you wrote about how strange it feels not to have to think about when, where, how much, etc. I didn’t feel so alone or as depressed because you were expressing you’ve often felt consumed by this process, too. Pain is often like that, it’s isolating. But you sharing all your pain has meant more to me than I can express, there are no words. I only mention my own pain to put my pride in, and appreciation for you in context.

Also, when you wrote how much better this experience is compared to past ones (and how relatively well you’re doing) that gives me hope, too.

I am truly inspired and invigorated by your hard won and well deserved success.

You’re free and no one and nothing will ever take this victory away from you.





Tim: 1 Sub: 0
Last edited by Subverted DietDoc on Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:35 am, edited 3 times in total.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby SubJumpa » Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:18 am

Ha ha yeah M4zer I'm a born and raised masshole as well!! In fact I'm still not far off and still work in Mass.. Btw love Newfound man best lake up there imho!! Used to stay up there in Bristol every year when I was younger but haven't been in a while.. My old man and I built a cabin on the other side on Ossippee lake some years back before he passed and It's been way to long sence I've been up there without being in the opie haze!! Like u said it's the little things man.. Anyways thanks for hitting me up and for the words of strength..keep on keeping on bro!!


@Subverted Dietdoc/ Steve

Damn man it's good to hear from ya!! Been missing your humor and intellect around here lately.. That being said I understand the need to step away from the insanity that is a subtaper for a bit!! I gotta tell u doc I really feel like tapering to micro doses is the way to go.. I know I'm real early into this but even though I didn't seem to fear the jump anymore once I got real low there's still that addict mantality of not knowing what it's like on the other side!! I say this knowing I have many more obstacles to overcome but damn I'm pleasantly surprised and extremely grateful for how well it's going physically so far!! well thanks for popping into my new thread and for the kind words- keep pushing doc freedom is calling your name!!


P.s. Fuc itiddy Fuc fuc u Suboxone!! In the beginning you were a friend but in the end u were a foe, so fuck off I'm not sucking you off no more !! :blowme:

SubJumpa!!
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby Mare » Mon Dec 11, 2017 9:01 am

So glad for you. I don't have a ton of meaningful stuff to add other than it's inspiring to see you at this stage with this attitude. Speaks volumes to going low and slow. Really glad your jump has been unexpectedly smooth thus far. You're doing great and you deserve this new found freedom. Keep kicking ass.
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby CatsMeow » Mon Dec 11, 2017 10:56 am

Great to hear you're feeling so well Tim. Your tapering Thread has been a true inspiration for me on how to do it low & slow. You're living proof that it can be done! Keep up the good fight. You're one strong dude. Wishing you the best each & every day Tim!
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby cheeps » Mon Dec 11, 2017 7:28 pm

Yes Tim, you are now truly on"the other side".

Yeeeehaw!! as we holler down here in the swamp!
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby CatsMeow » Tue Dec 12, 2017 10:10 am

Hope you're feeling well today Tim! Hang in there. You can do this. You are doing this. Stay the course & you shall soon be free to live your life opy & sub free. Good things in life are free or for me & you Sub = 0.

Really proud of you Tim!
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby Subverted DietDoc » Tue Dec 12, 2017 10:27 pm

Tim...I hope you’re feeling and doing well. I’m sure that I’m not the only one that is very interested in how you’re feeling. Are you in calm waters or has a storm front moved in?

I’m really hoping you are personally surprised at how well you’re feeling.

Was the taper still worth the long haul? One thing is have absolutely no doubt about...regardless how you feel you’re chemical free Tim.

You Sir, are the man.
I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is a vengeful, angry one. The other wolf is a loving, compassionate one. Which wolf will win the fight in my heart? The one I feed.

Buprenorphine: 10 years @ 16 mg/d ave. - Jumped Off February 5, 2018 @ 0.09mg
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Re: Quittin Time!!

Postby SubJumpa » Wed Dec 13, 2017 9:37 am

Thanks Dd, Mare,Cat &Cheeps!!

11 days in and still doing really well physically.. only comfort meds so far are ibuprofen and mj..I'm very grateful that sleep has been about the same 6-7 hours every night sence I jumped.. Still get the chills every now and then but it is mid December and they are nothing more than a mild nuesance at this point.. My appetite has been extremely strong the last few days as well- I want to eat just about anything and everything and food tastes so good! I've been sneezing quite a bit in spurts and my sense of smell is crazy right now!! Everything smells either unbelievably good or downright disgusting!! I had noticed while tapering below .5 that my sex drive was returning but damn I'm like a fucking dog in heat lately!! Lol rds raging!!!

Been educating myself as much as possible about paws and the mental mindfuck that lies ahead!! Still hitting the gym on lunch break 3-4 times a week with a mix of weight training and cardio. Drinking as much water as my body will allow and eating a lot of foods rich in amino acids.. Lots of lean meats and salads!! Also taking 5htp and a multivitamin daily.. I feel like the toughest part of this whole journey up to this point has definitely been the taper to .08, I drew a lot of inspiration from a lot of different threads while tapering and of course from Cheeps and all you guys putting in the work here each day, but I gotta say I owe a debt of gratitude to Eyedotz for sharing her journey.. Reading her story really helped me believe that if I could just "embrace the shitty" and be patient and accept each stage as it came the acute shit really wouldn't be that bad- and so far shes been spot on!!

Make no mistake about it, I really feel like the toughest part still lies ahead!! The emotional and mental roller coaster is gonna be a bitch!! I feel like its like you said though Dietdoc if I put myself in the best possible position to handle the things I can control I'll be in the best position to handle the things I cannot!!

Got rid of all my extra sub two days ago to my friend.. He's sitting at 6mg on subsolve and is trying to taper.. I kinda feel bad cause he came to me asking about sub a bit before I really got serious about tapering and even though I warned him how hard this shit was to get off I wish I would of done more to deter him at the time..honestly though with the amount of shit he was taking at the time not so sure he would still be here to have the chance!!

Also dealing with some family issues as well.. My sister is an addict and has struggled with crack/ cocaine abuse in the past.. well her fiancé overdosed and died about 8 months ago and I'm almost positive she's hooked on the zannies/ kpins right now.. my mom had to get her to the hospital two days ago..she's home now and I've been reaching out to her as much as possible and she swears she's not hooked on them.. Idk man benzo withdrawal scares the shit out of me and I know if she is hooked on em there's nothing I can do but be as supportive as possible and hope she wants to help herself..

Sorry for the long read,
All my best Tim
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