need help

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need help

Postby oneday » Tue Oct 31, 2017 11:39 am

I have been on methadon for 6 years and then Suboxone for 1 year. Have been wanting to come of them for so lomg bevause it has felt like being in a prison.
Started tapering down from 16mg last februari about 2mg a week. When I was at 6 mg I got to go to a sort of Christian rehab in Norway for the last part. It took a few months and then en July i was ready to go off. So went off at 0,5mg and I had pushed myself really hard. I was so happy I was going to finally feel normal and start living again. At first it went fine but then everything just chrashed. Dont wanna go into details but it must have been a serious psychosis. I left the place because I thought I wasnt safe there, and only thanks to God I got home safe again. Its one of the worst things I ever experienced in my life. I was supposed to start a sort of Christian rehabilitation a few weeks after and that was all I could think of. So my friends and family helped me to get ready and I got better and was able to go. Once there I did not recognize myself at all and I wasnt able to function, it was like I was not real and had no real feelings and stone cold on the inside. I could not remember anything or talk to people. I tried and tried but it just got worse and it scared me so much, I think I was loosing my mind. I did not know who I was anymore.
I went home again and here depression hit hard. Was still feelin weird in my head. Have experienced so many weird things and I did not understand them. After a while a started to drink sometimes and also took some drugs just to feel alive and normal. I was really about to give up because I thought I was going crazy. Then I found your site and recoqnized everything you were writing about. All the symptoms everything was the same. So then I got some hope that I can get out of this. Only now I really have to start working on it and Im scared because I really dont wanna fall back. Was thinking to start just going up each day and get dressed and start from there. I tried so hard to get off there fucking subs and really did my best but never counted on this hard time afterwords. Sorry if this is a little messy, have a little hard time writing.
oneday
 
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Re: need help

Postby cheeps » Sun Nov 05, 2017 8:14 am

Hi there...my vision has been really bad the past week, I had a little issue. Anyway I normally check for new threads but haven't been able to this week....

Are you still taking anything? I hope you can read around the threads in the subsux part they will really help you understand that it will take some time to feel normal.

Welcome to SS
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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cheeps
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