Subtaper

This forum is for welcoming new members, introducing yourself, and posting things that would affect or encompass all areas of addiction. If you want to post about other things...such as sports, movies, your mean wife, lazy husband, evil kids, or how bad your dog smells... then post in the Fun Stuff/Off-Topic forum.

Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Sat Nov 18, 2017 8:11 pm

SmottleB wrote:Just thinking a little about what you said, going from .125 to .06. It is a 50% drop. sounds insignificant, and looks insignificant. I don’t know how significant it is. Just keep your head in a good place around that time. I find that the larger drops play larger mind games. Good luck W!

Smots


That's a biggie for sure...are you up for it? From an eighth to a sixteenth....but it is low enough to try.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9513
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Sun Nov 19, 2017 7:03 am

Heh guys,

Thanks for the feedback guys!! I know that this taper plan of mine is a little ambitious, I mean two of my biggest drops percentage wise throughout this whole taper right at the end of this war smack dab in the middle of the holidays :crazy: I know.. But somehow I feel I have to try and go for it.. I think I can get through it, I know it's gonna be one of the toughtest mental battles of my life. But still I'm compelled..I'm feeling better and better physically with each drop and with that has come some confidence in myself..I think if I can tell my mind to shut the fuck up long enough to stabilize at each lowered dose it may give me that last surge of momentum I will need to carry me through and finish this..
Wannabesubjumpa
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:07 am

Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Mon Nov 20, 2017 9:20 am

It's heartening to hear that you're feeling better & better physically with each drop. This gives me & others so much hope. I applaud your persistence here at the end. Having that time off is certainly a God send. Stay with us. We need you... I need you.

I'm hoping that your confidence is catchy. I could really use a big dose of that about right now. I'll do as you're doing, just keep trying.
Opy Free 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering Since 5/6/2017
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:13 am

okay guys I feel the need to post because the voice inside me wants me to isolate right now.. Yesterday I totally forgot to take my second dose of day. So yea I kind of inadvertently took .125 yesterday.. My plan was to drop to .125 tommorrow anyhow so I think this may actually be a good thing at this point. Ive noticed that as the drops have gotten lower once I stabilize at the new dose I don't really obsess over having to take my sub anymore..in fact on several occasions I've had to remind myself to take it!!

Okay day 2 at .125 down from .19 we will see how it goes.? After my last drop from .25 to .19 on like day 2 or 3 I had this crazy wave of emotions all day where I was crying over just about everything and anything, so hopefully I don't break down sobbing in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner at the inlaws Lol.. So what if I do- I'm ready to take whatever comes at me at this point!!It's strange I'm feeling more determined and confident than ever lately, I know the real battle lies ahead for me and I have a shit ton of work to do to get to where I want to be,but one way or another I will get there!!

Peace T
Wannabesubjumpa
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:07 am

Re: Subtaper

Postby Dcleanist » Tue Nov 21, 2017 12:30 pm

Nice. Don't get cocky it's just another day being able to appreciate your hard work. Another day of opportunity. Just keap in mind opys is the excuse for hardship/numbness/ignorance. Cheers to the days opy doesn't ever come to mind. For a day atleast. Peace. Have to chase my dog around the woods screaming wait for me. Ironic. Don't you think lol
The voice of reason is reasonably late.
Dcleanist
 
Posts: 161
Joined: Sun May 28, 2017 7:47 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:04 pm

Hey Wanna, glad you posted even though you feel like isolating. It's great that you forgot to take your 2nd dose! Now that's what I call progress! The best part of all this is that you're able to stabilize at these low doses. I've heard others that just never did. .125 is so low. I'm so happy for you.

I hope your Thanksgiving with the Fam is great too. I'm not well enough right now to be around the Fam so I gracefully bowed out. They don't know about my situation & they're pissed. Well that's just too bad. I've got to be selfish sometimes to succeed or I'll just cave & that really isn't an option.

Take care. You're almost there!
Opy Free 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering Since 5/6/2017
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Annalo57 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:35 am

My beloved Wannabe.

Right now I actually feel like the wannabe. I wannabe you. You're at .125. That is so very cool. You are one of the coolest people I know, and i don't even really know you. You could pass me in the street and I would never know it. How fucked up is that??? We have never laid eyes on each other, but we know each other well at this point, don't we??

Isolation is so easy to do. Its comforting and it helps us to avoid any outside input.I get it and its ok. But don't cut SubSux out. Isolate if you must, from actual tangible people, but not from us. Once you're done with this taper(which is going to be very soon), you can stop isolating and work on all the other shit. Lord knows we all have real life shit to work on. Sometimes you just can't do this and that at the same time. No worries my friend. Everything comes out in the wash.

Love you bud. You've given me a ton of strength. IT COUNTS!!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!! I'll be thinking of you during the mandatory ritual that is tomorrow.

XOXO

Anna B.
Annalo57
 
Posts: 230
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Annalo57 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:37 am

OH SHIT!!! Its not tomorrow, its fucking TODAY!!!!! ARRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

:banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead:
Annalo57
 
Posts: 230
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:14 am

Heh my ss fam,

Thankyou you guys for all the kind words and support!! I hope everyone has a great day today!!Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Much love, Tim
Wannabesubjumpa
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:07 am

Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Thu Nov 23, 2017 4:53 pm

Thanks Tim! Hope your Thanksgiving is wonderful too! Keep up the great work. I think I'll keep you. :cheers:
Opy Free 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering Since 5/6/2017
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Annalo57 » Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:05 pm

Hey Tim. Just wanted to say I hope you enjoyed your turkey today and I also hope that you're feeling ok. This taper shit is quite a trip. Ups and downs come and go for no apparent reason. What a mind fuck!! But today was a nice day with the family. No poor me shit today. Huzzah!!!

Sending you my best.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!! :cheers:

Anna Banana :banana:
Annalo57
 
Posts: 230
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:25 am

And today is Black Friday...good thing I have to work today!

Tim...you have certainly gotten to the "fuck this shit" stage of taper. Your mind is prepared to jump....you and anna have lost the FEAR of wds. This is huge. I just want all you good peeps to know...this happens to everyone when you go slow. You have control and courage and it shows up this way. It's kinda fucked up tho because the mind is ready but the body isn't. This is where we trot out the "patience" word again...we beat its ass and go back to plodding along.

Happy Black Friday to all!! Sometimes I don't post much but all of you are with me 24/7. As anna has put it so well....don't isolate here. I need you guys...we have each other's backs and that is COOL as fuck.

I know this sounds nuts but I try to visualize where peeps sit while they post.

I have you on a desktop in the den with a candlestick.
Cat is in the kitchen with a laptop and a rope.
Anna is in her bedroom with an iPad and a lead pipe.
Diet doc is on the couch with an IPAD pro and a revolver
I'm on the porch with a box cutter.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9513
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Annalo57 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:14 pm

cheeps wrote:I know this sounds nuts but I try to visualize where peeps sit while they post.

I have you on a desktop in the den with a candlestick.
Cat is in the kitchen with a laptop and a rope.
Anna is in her bedroom with an iPad and a lead pipe.
Diet doc is on the couch with an IPAD pro and a revolver
I'm on the porch with a box cutter.


OMG, LMAO

Cheeps you are priceless!!!!

Hey Tim. Hope you're still enjoying a food binge. i am.
Annalo57
 
Posts: 230
Joined: Thu Jun 08, 2017 8:13 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Fri Nov 24, 2017 2:16 pm

Man oh man do I wish I was enjoying a food binge right now but my dumb ass is still stuck at work right now! Fucked up part is I signed up for this shit today!! Lately I've been taking on a little more than I should cause it keeps my mind occupied,but the body is not happy about it that's for sure.. I kinda knew this last drop from .19 to .125 was a little much and the last thing I want to do is get impatient here at the end, but I committed to it and now I'm feeling this last drop physically more so than others! Don't get me wrong it's manageable, just fucking annoying at this point!! Fucking goose flesh, shooting back aches, blah.,blah,blah- fuck it I just gotta deal cause I ain't going back up!!

Anyhow things have been better at home the last week or so.. The wife and I talked it out and it really just boils down to me communicating better with her!! Once I get off this shit her and I are gonna do some therapy cause god knows we could use all the help we can get..

I ran a 5k yesterday morning- I'm a fucking idiot- I'm struggling with this last drop physically,I don't run and I have a fucked up foot right now.. Somedays I think I'm fucking losing what little bit of sanity I have left!! Oh well at least it's time to get outta work..

Love use guys, Tim
Wannabesubjumpa
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:07 am

Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Fri Nov 24, 2017 6:37 pm

OMG you ran a 5k? You crazy son of a gun. Your foot's fucked up & you're running? :crazy:

Sorry your last drop is kicking your ass. I admire you for sticking with it & not spiking Tim. You've done so well for so long. You've always adjusted to each drop, so I hope this one will be no different. Just time & patience. You know the drill. :banghead:

Do you have the weekend off? I sure hope so. I wish I could use work to escape my sub taper the way that you do. I just go to work & struggle to concentrate & not make mistakes. Maybe after I get my dose lower I'll be more clear headed. I sure hope so. Actually I'm counting on it!

I'm glad you & the wifey talked it out. That's got to feel better. Therapy sounds like a great idea once this sub is behind you.

Through your posts I've never sensed that you're losing your sanity. It's okay. It's going to be okay. And you're going to be sub free so very very soon.

Hang on Tim. You got this!
Opy Free 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering Since 5/6/2017
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby cheeps » Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:44 pm

What's a five K? Like um....a lottery ticket that's a guaranteed winner?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9513
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby CatsMeow » Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:59 am

I wish! It's a 5 kilometer running marathon or 3.1 miles. Wanna ran one while tapering low on subs & with a hurt foot. That's pretty amazing in my book! But good for him. I need to at least establish some walking. :banghead:
Opy Free 4/14/2017
Sub Tapering Since 5/6/2017
CatsMeow
 
Posts: 190
Joined: Thu Oct 05, 2017 4:29 pm

Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Sun Nov 26, 2017 11:23 am

Yeah me too,I could use a gaurenteed anything about now!! Taken it easy today, watching da Pats and just veg.!!Feeling more stable at this dose now, crazy how such a small spec of this shit can still dictate things!! Like I said I've been taking on more than I should the last week or two so today is dedicated to resting the body and the mind for this guy!! Hope everyone is well- Happy Sunday ;) Tim
Wannabesubjumpa
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:07 am

Re: Subtaper

Postby Mare » Mon Nov 27, 2017 8:24 am

Hey Tim, Mare here. I'm new here and I just caught up to current on your thread. There's something really magical about seeing this kind of honesty, love, and determination from so many in one place... It's really special. Only been here for a week or so, and after reading a few journals a day, already I feel a huge boost in my confidence, understanding, and hope for my own journey. :thumbup: :thumbup: So inspiring! Thank you!

I suffer from Plantar Fasciitis too, it's also pretty new to me... Maybe in the past year it's become a real issue. I started wearing Brooks running shoes everywhere with extra arch support and it really helps. I also avoid wearing socks to bed cause sometimes it seems to make it worse. And for the days that you need to be on your feet but they just aren't doing what's they're supposed to, I use KT tape.. it's kind of tricky to use in the beginning, but there are good instructions on youtube. It's been a complete lifesaver for me! Try being nice to that foot though, running can really exacerbate the PF. I couldn't even stand for 2 days once after a 3 mile jog. If you must, KT tape it!!!

Really happy to see you've made it low and you've reached it slow. Go easy on yourself toward the end. Excited to be around for the grand finale! You're a champion!!!

Mare
Heroin free since Sept 6, 2015
Methadone free since Dec 10, 2015

Currently tapering off Subs
User avatar
Mare
 
Posts: 126
Joined: Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:52 am
Location: California

Re: Subtaper

Postby Wannabesubjumpa » Tue Nov 28, 2017 9:33 am

Heh Mare,

Thanks for the pointers on the planterfacietis! I too started wearing brooks and asics sneakers with extra added arch support and it has helped a lot!! A friend of mine who runs a lot and has the same foot issues swears by the KT tape as well.. I really don't run much at all, just promised my daughter who was home from college for Thanksgiving and my other 10 year old daughter I would do this turkey trot with them this year.. I know not the smartest decision ever!! I do a pretty physical job at work though which requires me being on my feet a bunch so I'm gonna try that tape real soon..

So glad you are feeling more confident and hopeful with your journey!! This place has been a detrimental part of mine and I am very grateful I found this place and all the great people I have met along the way!! Hope you are doing well today and thanks again!!

Best T
Wannabesubjumpa
 
Posts: 90
Joined: Wed Sep 13, 2017 8:07 am

PreviousNext

Return to General

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest