New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HELP

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New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HELP

Postby MrSUBMAN » Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:21 pm

Hello everyone

I haven't joined a message board like this for probably 20 years lol. I am trying to get off suboxone and there are a lot of crazy thoughts going on. For the most part I feel pretty good about being at 1.5mg, except for the evening (right around now), i start to feel cold, sluggish, and out of it. It's like my thought process and social skills just completely go haywire and I get anxiety. When I feel like this, I cannot go out and socialize or be around other people. The only way I could go out and do social things, is by taking a .5mg of suboxone...and I don't want to do that because I already took my 1.5mg for the day.

The key thing for me during this taper is using the medicine at least while I'm at work, this way I can function. Although, I still feel unmotivated and sluggish and try to make up for that with coffee lol. The year 2016 was a year that made me realize that getting off the suboxone HAD to happen. It was a depressing, isolated, going with the motions kind of year. It was a year that showed me this is in NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, "LIVING" LIFE. I am dead inside, and just appearing to be alive to others on the outside. This is complete misery. It is almost 3 years now that I have been on suboxone straight through.

According to my taper, on Friday I start at 1mg. Then about 7 days is .75mg, and it continues on to .13mg. The jump date is the middle of February. I read good things and bad things about tapering. It took me a while to just accept that you can actually withdrawal off .25 mg of suboxone. Seriously, what in the WORLD. That little tiny spec can still make you feel sick - people that haven't dealt with suboxone, just think it's a mental thing by that point. They can't even understand that the tiny spec of .25mg actually has an affect...BUT IT DOES. Since I started this taper I realized I was taking a completely unnecessary amount of suboxone..but that's another discussion I guess.

I figured I create an account and start typing things up...it actually does help. I am going to NA meetings as well. I am trying to get back into the routine of that because when I am completely off the suboxone, I am grabbing my white key tag and I'm going to work the steps and dive into my recovery. I don't consider being on suboxone "clean and serene", but that's just my opinion and I don't mind if others think differently, it's up to you.

I guess at the end of the day, I don't really know what to expect. Will it be a mild withdrawal with lingering effects? Will I suffer full blown withdrawl? Will i not feel much at all?! I have no idea! All i can do is take it a day at a time and just keep fighting for this. I just really hope I don't have 6 months of lingering withdrawal, depression, anxiety...I don't know.

Any help, feedback, support would be great. Thanks
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Tue Jan 10, 2017 8:50 pm

Hello and welcome! I am a fellow taperer and there are some awesome people on this board who have been through it all and made it out alive! And not just alive, but doing good! They make for some pretty awesome inspiration. Looking forward to getting to know you and following along with your progress.

Also, I relate about the anixety! It blows.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby Eyedotz » Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:21 pm

I would also like to say hello and welcome! This is a wonderful forum with people very willing to help you through the twists and turns of sub w/d. The first thing I would suggest is read read read. If you go in the subsux section, you will find my taper story up near the top - This is my Taper Story - Eyedotz. I bumped it up for new people to find it easily. I have a 'jump' thread that is ongoing but I would definitely read the Taper story first. I feel it will help you and give you some encouragement. Dude, I was on sub for 13 years and have been off for almost 10 months. If I can do it, anyone can.

Would it be possible for you to give me more info about your situation? You mentioned that you were on sub for 3 years and that you were currently on 1.5mg. Before you started tapering...what was your daily dose? When did you start tapering and how long have you been at 1.5mg? Are you on strips? Can you get 2mg strips?

First thing I would suggest is split dosing. I had to do this for most of my taper and it made it MUCH easier. Take half of your dose in the am/early afternoon and take the other dose early evening around 7-8pm. You are right, this shit is fucking strong. I guarantee split dosing will make you feel better. Second thing I would suggest is PLEASE don't be settled on dates. Dates do not matter (unless you are cut off from meds and have no choice) and you should concentrate on how you feel. Going by a calendar will only rush your body/mind when you really should be letting the sub slowly unwind from your system and your body will slowly adjust. In my opinion, these are the early keys to a successful taper.

Please read my taper story and let me know if you have any questions. I will help in anyway that I can.

Welcome man.
~dotz
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JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby MrSUBMAN » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:21 pm

Thanks everyone

I was at about 7mg in Sept and October - I went to a detox for 7 days, couldn't get more time because of work - I hide that I am on subs from work (can't let them know the junkie history lol). In the detox I took 1 of those zubsolv a day, the lower dose, maybe 2.9 mg I believe.

I am on strips...the taper I follow is from a big website that's all about tapering sub - many people used it. It has the suboxone taper calculator to help guide you in the taper.

To me TIME is an issue, because I stopped seeing my doctor in order to make it more "real" that this is happening and that I am getting off. I got enough suboxone to last me another 2-3 months if I really stretch it out.

I just gotta follow this taper and pray for the best =(
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby MrSUBMAN » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:22 pm

also, I do split the doses. It seems like it makes the day better
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:10 am

I know which calculator you are talking about MrSubman. It went a little too fast for me, but I hope it works well for you.

I would go to the calculator sometimes during my taper, because when I first started to taper down, I went there and it gave me that long list of days and doses ahead, and during my slow taper, I would go back and enter my new dose just to see the list of days grow shorter. In actuality, I was taking much longer than the calculator suggested, but it still felt good to see the list get shorter. :mrgreen:

I have been on bupe for 13 (or more?) years, like Eyedotz had been, so I am taking it agonizingly slow. I am playing it by ear instead of using a schedule, but I actually used a schedule in the beginning... all the way down to 0.4mg I think. Then I started feeling more stress on my body than I was willing to have, so I slowed it way down. But, I think the schedule helped me at first. Mainly because I am one of those people who gets immense pleasure out of completing stuff and damn, did I love checking off each step I had completed. I still do the check mark thing, I just leave the dosage and how long I was at that dose open ended...as long as I am moving down in dose, I am good.

And since you only have a limited amount of subs, having a schedule in the beginning when your doses are larger is probably a good idea. Then hopefully you have enough left near the end, that you can stay longer at one dose if you need too. I only had enough bupe left for a few months when I started my taper too, but at the dose I am on now, I guess I would have enough for years.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby Eyedotz » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:37 am

Perfectly said. I also used the calculator in the 'beginning'. I felt that taper was much too fast for my liking. My goal was to taper ONCE and only once. If it took me longer...so be it. I am living proof that a slow taper resulted in success. I did NOT experience acute w/d's after jumping. I worked every single day. Yes, I was tired and exhausted for months, but it was well worth it. I did not take comfort meds other than melatonin and Motrin.

I felt that my body needed at least 10-14 days of adjustments between drops, and I only dropped in 10% increments (I wouldn't go more than 15-20%). If you have enough meds, I would seriously consider slowing down.

So so so many people 'decide' to get off subs and concentrate on future 'jump dates' instead of being slow and calculated (as they should). People seems to 'make up their minds' and get off subs at all costs without realizing the benefits of 'slow and steady'. There is a lot of potential room for failure with getting off sub. Tapering faster than you should, will result in unwarranted discomfort either causing you to give up or jumping prematurely....which can cause going back on sub or your doc.

Whatever you decide, we will be here to help you. Please keep reading people's stories on this forum. This wealth of knowledge cannot be replicated.
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13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby MrSUBMAN » Wed Jan 11, 2017 4:55 pm

Well the bad news is I have literally 4 8mg strips left. The current strip I am on has about 7mg remaining. In reality I have only 39 mg left. I have just a few more mgs than what the taper calculator planned out.

Last night I actually couldn't fall asleep for NOTHING, it was 1am and I had to be up for work in the morning. I was yawning, teary eyed, restless legs, the feeling of wanting to stretch so hard my "bones would pop" (sound familiar lol). I did take melatonin, it did nothing. I ended up taking like .25 mg of Sub to help me get to sleep.

Today I took 1.5mg - feelings lots of anxiety and just an uncomfortable in my skin feeling. Very foggy train of thought, couldn't concentrate or motivate myself to do much. Only when I Take .5mg of sub do I get a nice boost. I split my 1.5mg into three today actually...but I already took my total dose for the day. I have to bear through the night.

Friday is supposed to be the day for 1mg. I really don't know how that will pan out to be honest...it does seem like the taper is moving fast. Once again it amazes me how these TINY dosages make such a big difference. TBH, i thought before that if someone was at 1 or even 2mg of suboxone...they could jump with little withdrawal. That is for sure not the truth it seems, especially if you been taking it for a long time.

I feel like low doses of xanax would help with the anxiety and make life easier of course, but there's risk to that too of course. It's not really something I want to pursue honestly though. Worst case scenario, if I really need to slow this taper down, I set up with the Doc and explain the situation this way I can get 2mg strips and continue a slow and steady taper.

Need to figure this out one way or another...sick of all this shit.
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby Eyedotz » Wed Jan 11, 2017 6:46 pm

In all honesty, I would set up another appointment and get strips. Try to get as many as you can.... Some doctors don't like to hear that you're tapering 'by yourself' so maybe just tell him you are happier on sub and he'll/she'll prescribe you the full load. Play pretend - "I Love you sub and I want to stay with you forever." The more you can get the better. I didn't realize you only had 37mg left. I know how you feel, my friend. I have been there.

How long have you been at 1.5mg?
The way tapering works is: You drop dose...you have 3-5 days until you 'feel' the drop. You feel like crap (worse sleep, anxiety etc.) for another 2-3 days and you will adjust back to square one. I remained at this 'adjusted' period until I was 100% sure that it was time to drop again (10-14 days). You do this over and over until you jump. Each subsequent drop for me felt the same....if you are tapering properly. You have to accept that you WILL not feel wonderful. You will feel tired A LOT.....you will feel unmotivated but you will also begin to feel alive again. Tapering makes you stronger in more ways than you will ever know. Right CheeZ (I know you're reading)?? You have to earn your sobriety. You did not become an addict overnight and you need to earn your way back to the land of the living.

I will also suggest 5 hour energy's during the day because they are crack. All natural and really really help during tapers. :clap: Disclaimer: Tastes like shit.

First thing you need to do is stabilize (physically and mentally) and stick to a schedule and no spiking. You still have sub in your system that is unwinding so it's not a bad idea to hold at 1.5mg for another week if you can...You cannot believe how much sub stacks in your system over the years...You need time to let that shit wring out.

I find it best to stick to 14 days between drops especially in the early days. I have a feeling that you are not yet stabilized on 1.5mg because you are struggling. You know you are ready to drop because you will feel on the 'good' side of feeling like shit. Still shitty but better.

Tapering is a 'new habit' that you have to get used to. I know you think that 1.5mg is a low dose but it is not. I jumped at .03mg and I STILL felt it....so yeah, it's strong.Hold yourself to boundaries you create for yourself. Yes, sub will make you feel better but you are not supposed to feel better. 'Own' the shitty... hold that bull by the horns and kick it's ass.

Ok eyedotz rant is done. Continue on SS.
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13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby Subblind » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:05 pm

Welcome here Mr SM...you would be very wise to heed the advice you are receiving from Eyedotz.go back to the dr and re load...this shit is powerful and must be handled with care.these girls know their shit...they've been there done that...good luck dude,but do this right...you'll be glad you did.
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:56 pm

Eyedotz just laid out some serious truth.

It really is a habit you get in to, especially under 1mg...this ritual of tapering a little bit, letting the misery come on for a few days, and then you get a little better, only to do it again. And again. And again. But oddly, it takes the fear away the more you do it, or at least it did for me. Like, the uncomfortable feelings, those little annoying things that always made me reach for bupe, become just...normal instead. Not something to fix, so much, as just experiences I have to get through.

Eventually a sneeze started to feel like a sneeze again, instead of a warning sign that systems were about to get critical. A yawn becomes a yawn again, etc. I am still tapering, so after yawning a dozen times in a row it can still get to me. But honestly, I would start to get anxiety after just a couple yawns in the beginning...I kinda saw them as big red flags that meant I needed more bupe asap...now they aren't as big a deal, and I hope that one day I won't even notice them at all.

I agree about trying to get more strips. You want to be the one in control of this whole thing, and that might be tough if you feel like you are on a timer. For me, it helped to take the power away from the bupe by setting some ground rules...namely to always listen to my body, to always move down in dose, and to never ever ever spike up my dose, especially to get through a anxiety-provoking situation.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby MrSUBMAN » Thu Jan 12, 2017 12:57 pm

I used to think 1.5mg was a low dose..but a few weeks ago I truly realized that it is not a low dose. I am feeling some "layers" of sub coming off, because taking the 1.5mg isn't cutting it that great. I do feel weird. I already took 1mg today and I feel like I want to take another .5mg.

I am pretty certain I will have to link back with a doctor to get some 2mg strips and take it from there. theres just no way around rushing this.
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby The Blind Ass » Fri Jan 13, 2017 10:28 am

Hey MrSubMan welcome and stay and educate yourself all you can ...I just finished my own jump and posted about in the general forum if your interested.

I would highly suggest listening to EyeDots ideas and methods ...I was on Suboxone for about 10 years and I think from all the methods of getting off I have ever come across she has done a great job in terms of approaching getting off of narcotics in a truly responsible and compassionate , but marathon like, and the "best way" for your brain and body if you follow it - she slowly withdrew that poison from her system while allowing her body time to adjust each time and kept going till there was almost nothing left and then jumped, very commendable if you ask me.
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby Eyedotz » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:10 am

Awe, thank you Mr. Ass! ....glad to have you back my new friend!
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13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby The Blind Ass » Fri Jan 13, 2017 11:26 am

:cheers2:
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby cheeps » Sat Jan 14, 2017 12:41 pm

Mr sub man....when you get under 2mgs.....in order to have success, you must make no more than 20% cuts...so...get out your calculator and pencil. 1.5X 20% is .3... so take that away from 1.5 and you have 1.2

You can round this to 1.25 for easier trimming of strips.

The next cut would be 1.25 X 20%= .24 so round that to .25 and take it away from 1.25 and that takes you to 1.0mg.

And so on. You can round by tenths to keep it easier....

Once you get under .75, you can go slower if you want....but not faster.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby cheeps » Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:48 pm

Hope all is well?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: New Member- Tapering off @ 1.5mg now - Please Read - HEL

Postby The Blind Ass » Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:25 pm

Let us now how its going when you get a chance Mr. Sub man.
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