My Story (New Member)

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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Mon Sep 12, 2016 8:19 am

Today I feel like shut?@! I dk much about krantom, but Imodium and valums ain't working ! I feel like death!! :suicide:
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:07 am

You got this. How much immodium are you on? Maybe someone can help you figure out if you could take more. I have heard it really helps.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Subblind » Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:58 am

you gotta take a good bunch of the immodium...PM Cheeps and ask her,she will tell you for sure.
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Mon Sep 12, 2016 11:26 am

Okay my husband just bought me the 5-HTP so now how much do I take?!? My husband also grabbed me some melatonin cuzz I'm out of my seriquil which is barely working its self! I called my regular doctor cuzz I told her what I'm doing and hopefully she fills my seriquil for more!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 12, 2016 4:46 pm

I sent you a pm back with numbers...please talk to your dr about the meds. You might need to skip the Seroquil if it's not working....I'm not sure. I do know don pisto jumped using it but he tapered way down to .25 or less.

Hang in there...this is the hardest work you'll do...and you did make it thru the weekend!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Subblind » Mon Sep 12, 2016 5:07 pm

Read the directions from the 5- HTP and play with the dosage.see what the suggested dose does and if it doesn't work give it some time and take a bit more.also try to calm yourself down and let this shit help.if your too wigged out it may seem like nothing is helping because your too keyed up.let yourself believe that it's going to help you and it will...you need to gain control of your brain and relax. This is a mental test of you will and you have to be in control
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Tue Sep 13, 2016 8:27 am

I'm taking all supplements, Imodium, vitamins, and drinking plenty of water! As of now my jump date will be Moday! Yes I'm nervous, but I have too many reasons to do it! I want my life back! I have the determination, just the pain, weakness, guts, is a muther fucker!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Tue Sep 13, 2016 2:17 pm

Ready_For_Change wrote:I'm taking all supplements, Imodium, vitamins, and drinking plenty of water! As of now my jump date will be Moday! Yes I'm nervous, but I have too many reasons to do it! I want my life back! I have the determination, just the pain, weakness, guts, is a muther fucker!


No matter what....never subscribe to being weak, a failure, a wuss, less than morally strong...etc. Sometimes it takes more than one try to get off these long acting opiates. Please tell hubby what you are doing is akin to having chemo. He needs to hear that. He'll never understand it because he isn't on it. He may think this is a 'one time and done' situation....it will be several months until you know if you've beaten Freddy's ass.

Any progress is forward progress...so keep being mad at Freddy and sleep when you can.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Wed Sep 14, 2016 6:52 am

Okay who's Frddie and why do I need to be worry bout Freddis?!?
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Wed Sep 14, 2016 4:27 pm

Oh shit....I forgot to tell you about ole Freddy the fucker. He's the little voice on your shoulder that sez/ whines, " I can't do this, I've got too much to do...please go back to the sub dr and get us some more sub cuz I can't do this!"

Freddy will pop in early and often...sometimes he wants you to check the medicine cabinet to see if there's something leftover in there. Sometimes he knocks on your door or calls you, "mam, you've missed your Drs appt this month...don't you want to reschedule?"

He's a wily fucker and you have to beat his ass sometimes!! :mrgreen: :twisted: :spank:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Steph1850 » Thu Sep 15, 2016 3:48 pm

Ready_For_Change wrote:I feel like I've gained 20lbs! All my clothes are tight! I feel just miserable! I'm so ready to be done at this point! I need to know how much to drop and when to drop again! I feel I am ready!?!


You're doing great.
I gained 45 points getting off of sub. Taking high doses kept my weight off but I was sick, sick, sick. It sucks gaining again but you will be healthier overall.

Keep going!
************
Tapering since July 2015. Jumped on 9/21/16!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Steph1850 » Thu Sep 15, 2016 3:49 pm

Oops, 45 pounds, not points!
************
Tapering since July 2015. Jumped on 9/21/16!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Thu Sep 15, 2016 5:58 pm

I think each and everyone of you are special! I know everyone believes in different gods, but I know my god brought R here and my grandmother's strength will get me through it! I've had a lot of pain and suffering in my life and being numb for 4 years, it's like a good of emotions I don't even know what no lax to put them! My emotions and anxiety have me growing weaker, but I have an appointment with my phc doctor and hopefully figure out some things about my self ! For this is BOT my journey my journey is YET to com!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby brexit » Thu Sep 15, 2016 6:26 pm

I'm also rooting from the sidelines for you, Ready_For_Change. Cheeps you are a saint! or saintess? :? :?
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Subblind » Thu Sep 15, 2016 7:26 pm

Keep your self calm ma'am,your doing a Hugh thing right now.all the thoughts and memories of your grandma are you awakening from a walking coma.its your brain firing and Freddy being a bastard too,but your doing this like a commando and your gonna come out the other side ok...just gotta keep focused on getting there and getting past the shitty road your on now.look forward to that and know your kicking this things ass straight up,no bullshit.be proud of that and you will look back at this and shake your head and think...I'm a badass...I did this...I got my life back.
And you will go on being who you are...who you were...and your grandma will also be proud...
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:06 am

This is a lot easier than! I'm struggling with my own inner demons and trying to locc this poison ass! One thing about me is I come from head strong women who had NOTHING, but turned s negative into a blessing! It's time to lace my boots an d get to the bitty, gritty, shitty part! My grandma always said their are 2tpes of people in this world; the weak who fall to worldly things, and strong minded people to. Lead the weak when they are lost!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Fri Sep 16, 2016 7:10 am

I definitely don't feel like super mom, but I do everything in the house and my yard!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Fri Sep 16, 2016 12:39 pm

Sounds like super mom to me! Keep rocking it! Being strong minded will keep you on track, and Freddy doesn't even have a chance!
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Sat Sep 17, 2016 7:03 am

Today is my first dose of .25 and I only not have one dose of 25! , so counted Wrong! I'm always falling down, talking to my swig, I even thought my daughter was home instead of school, so I yelled at her when she wasn't even there! I CANT walk? M! I make up illusions , tall, talking in sleep so loud I wake myself up! I'm a strong woman damnit! This is really starting to fuccing lose my mind.. :banghead: :crazy: :wtf:
:gaah: :ogeez: :wired: :gaah: :punchballs:
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Sat Sep 17, 2016 8:58 am

Every horrible minute is a step forward. If the kids are out of the house, rest as much as you can, take a hot bath. This is what I tell myself: There is a finite number of bad hours, even though it seems like they will never end. Every hour you make it through is one more hour checked off that you will never have to do again. You got this.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

Hozier-Arsonist's Lullabye

Telling subs to fuck off since March 20, 2017
User avatar
CheeZeeAnnDee
 
Posts: 370
Joined: Mon Aug 29, 2016 3:44 pm

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