My Story (New Member)

This forum is for welcoming new members, introducing yourself, and posting things that would affect or encompass all areas of addiction. If you want to post about other things...such as sports, movies, your mean wife, lazy husband, evil kids, or how bad your dog smells... then post in the Fun Stuff/Off-Topic forum.

Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:04 pm

RFCHange....I can tell from your posts that you are somewhat of a control freak. This is why I tell you to just go with the flow. You aren't going to be able to control your "detox" feelings and actions.....so that's going to make it hard on you.....this is the one time in your life that you must cut yourself some slack. You aren't crazy, you aren't weak...you will have crazy thoughts and feel disoriented though.

Treat yourself like you'd treat someone in your family whom you love that has been DXed with cancer and has to go thru chemo and radiation. Detox is a medical process where your body, brain, and CNS are traumatized when the final bit of sub comes off your brain receptors. It is very hard sometimes to think that you'll ever be normal again. But you will.....once you get thru the acute part, you'll feel better for a few days and then you develop what's called, "the rollercoaster effect". This simply means some days will suck and some days are just ok.

Since you didn't get to do a long taper to a low number, your process is going to be harsher but regardless of how you feel...on day you'll be back to normal....you just have to believe.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Sat Sep 17, 2016 1:04 pm

RFCHange....I can tell from your posts that you are somewhat of a control freak. This is why I tell you to just go with the flow. You aren't going to be able to control your "detox" feelings and actions.....so that's going to make it hard on you.....this is the one time in your life that you must cut yourself some slack. You aren't crazy, you aren't weak...you will have crazy thoughts and feel disoriented though.

Treat yourself like you'd treat someone in your family whom you love that has been DXed with cancer and has to go thru chemo and radiation. Detox is a medical process where your body, brain, and CNS are traumatized when the final bit of sub comes off your brain receptors. It is very hard sometimes to think that you'll ever be normal again. But you will.....once you get thru the acute part, you'll feel better for a few days and then you develop what's called, "the rollercoaster effect". This simply means some days will suck and some days are just ok.

Since you didn't get to do a long taper to a low number, your process is going to be harsher but regardless of how you feel...on day you'll be back to normal....you just have to believe.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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cheeps
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Posts: 9354
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Sat Sep 17, 2016 5:14 pm

Cheeps, I do like to have things in there certain places, everything has a place and everything goes in its place! It's crazy for you to say treat myself like I would a family member with cancer, cuzz that's exactly what took her life! I was in the room and held her hand till her last breath, and it still haunts me! I've never been able to be weak! I'm the oldest of all the cuzzin and have had a lot put on me! On top of that 4 weeks ago I buried my grandmothers brother! My family is slowly dying off, and I'm becoming my mothers generation, as she becomes my grandmothers generation! I eat my pain, my weakness cuzz I don't have an older sibling or cuzzin! I'm the one they all come to! I've lost things that meant more to me, so I know I'm strong minded enough to beat this! Tomorrow is my last dose then I jump!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:05 am

Sorry u haven't been posting! U actually jumped at m 1 dise of .25 three days ago and still have a .25 just in case! Si fat a couple my valium, and xanex, all bf be a g my phyc, vitamins, and regular mail DS; it succa ass ! I'm ready to beat the beat this!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:34 am

Thank ngs I day and do some bd stupid and retarded and I'm far from dumb! My husband left so I'm pretty much on my own! That dycks more dicc , on top of this shit my baby brother goes to jail and they hit him with a hoe ass bond of $759,000 a bond IV never heard of! I'm CE to alot here lately bring more clear headed! I won't see my brother who's only 26 with 4 kids for 10 fucking years! I'm dealing with alot and I'm alone! Im fuccing losing my mind!!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Subblind » Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:42 am

Sorry...posts a little hard to follow...not trying to be a ball buster,but it appears your"talk typing" into your phone and it's coming out a bit difficult to understand.
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Wed Sep 21, 2016 8:35 am

I'm not talk texting I feel like I turned into a retarded person, who makes no sense, and I have new stupid phone on top of that and HATE it! I don't make sense period anymore and I KNOW I'm not a stupid person but the devil of a drug has me feeling and thinking it!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Wed Sep 21, 2016 9:43 am

Oh sweetie.....you're going too be ok...I can tell your phone is driving you nuts along with the detox. I'm sorry you feel bad but you will feel nutso.

Stay with us!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Fri Sep 23, 2016 12:25 pm

I jump in my sleep talking, I talk when there is no one even there! I'm like for real losing my fucking mind! My guts are in knots.
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Subblind » Fri Sep 23, 2016 8:03 pm

Your going through the worst of it right now...it's going to get better,you just have to get through this ACUTE shit right now...easier said than done I know,but your gonna get through it...keep posting,you have support here and it will help you to just talk through it.
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Sun Sep 25, 2016 10:38 am

Ready_For_Change wrote:I jump in my sleep talking, I talk when there is no one even there! I'm like for real losing my fucking mind! My guts are in knots.




Just keep thinking it will get better...you are still in the thick of it...keep pushing!!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Sun Sep 25, 2016 11:50 am

I've been pushing and today is pretty bad cuzz I also had to go and start my period as if my cramps aren't enough! All I want to do is lay in my hot tub even though I KNOW it's not happening! The chills, sneezing, wnen does the small shit stop to deal with the body pain I'm in?
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Sun Sep 25, 2016 7:45 pm

Once you get to day eight you start to see a little improvement. It just depends on the person....keep going and don't look back!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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cheeps
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Posts: 9354
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Mon Sep 26, 2016 8:34 pm

My mom a mager trigger for me! Just like I knew she would she shows up wanting to fight me, calling me a pill head in front of all my old neighbors! I would never disrespect her neighbors like that! She kept pushing me wanting me to hit her, mind you my mom is 6'1 ft and 300 IBS and sure now that n her old agebi could take her but t she's my mom and has no clue what in actually going through..
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Tue Sep 27, 2016 7:01 am

I go see my physiatrists today before I really HURT my mom! She may be big but she's dead weight now, and no longer a kid! The she pulled yesterday had me wanting to fucc someone up and off!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Tue Sep 27, 2016 9:54 am

Ready_For_Change wrote:I go see my physiatrists today before I really HURT my mom! She may be big but she's dead weight now, and no longer a kid! The she pulled yesterday had me wanting to fucc someone up and off!!



Jesus...wtf? Damn...she's the nut job, not you! Just stay away from her...she has no idea what you are going thru. :evil: Other than her skeevy crap....how are you holding with the kids?

Cramp let up yet? Advil for that....don't forget. Do you think your dr is going to be ok?
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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cheeps
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Tue Sep 27, 2016 10:34 am

I'm avoiding my mother, my husband is pissed cuzz he can't be here! The Phycologist wasn't nothing but intake for 4 months from now! I need help NOW not in 4 fucking months! I been on my own 10 days, fuck it I can do the rest! I did forget yesterday was Monday and thought is was Sunday so they missed! If I can just get my brain back on track, I'll be okay!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Tue Sep 27, 2016 10:38 am

You will baby, you will. Just cut yourself some serious slack and don't expect to be super mom! You really can do this. The rollercoaster emotional shit sucks but it's normal and you are kicking ASS!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
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Posts: 9354
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby Ready_For_Change » Tue Sep 27, 2016 10:00 pm

Cheeps I really don't feel like I'm kicking ass, but my doctor seems to think I'm doing pretty Etty badass from my dose to my taper down to my jump! I told her I feel very weak minded right now, and I'm not! I'm a very head strong woman and I've NEVER been through anything like this! This s has ruined my teeth, I've lost my hair, and it stole 4 years of my life! I'm tired of being alone, and I'm ready for this to be OVER! The diarrhea is the worst, I even had an accident in the tub! This is NOT who I am, and I've lost me!!
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Re: My Story (New Member)

Postby cheeps » Wed Sep 28, 2016 6:42 am

Imodium...Take it!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
User avatar
cheeps
Advanced Member
 
Posts: 9354
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 1:15 pm

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