I have never been here before. I never had a problem with drugs..hahahahahahahahahahaha.
Thanks, but no fucking thanks. It has been several weeks since my last doses of other meds. Around December 15th, 2015. I went to the general practitioner to try to get any benzo I could. No luck. Old fat fuck. Showed no mercy. I am kinda glad he did. I still feel like holy hell. But, for the moment, am in down time between the waves...sort of. Worst tummy cramps ever. It's funny, I was looking at everyones jump time and was sorry that I didn't keep track of it better. I did find a paper that I wrote all the meds down when I went to visit the general practitioner.
My Sub "doctor", I really hope he doesn't lose his license...yes I do, just so he can't give out any more of that SHIT drug. I know he really thinks he is helping, but I may have been better off just giving up the hydro and opies straight out. God knows, opies were fucking a blast to snort. Weren't they? Anyway, As of Dec 15 I finished Gabapatin, Limictil, Duluxotine, Clonazepam, Carbamethol?(spelling), and Zubsolv. All of which my Sub "doctor" had mixed, to provide a nice little cocktail, which suited me....the fuck it did. I would rather be a crazy asshole, than be on all that fucking poison.
Sliver= smallest amount I could break off the lowest dose of Zubsolv. Ummm, anyway if it was a week ago, or two, I would probably have gladly gone back on Antidepressants, but not right now. It has been too long, and hurt too bad to go back now. Anyway, I am getting lost in my thoughts and not making too much sense. I have to think I will make it. I have a wee one that I have to be there for. It sucks giant donkey cocks, but I would rather be terrible at quitting, than be good at using. I can say one thing that helped me so far,was weed, and Immodium (terrible tasting, unnatural colored shit). I haven't smoked weed in twenty five years, but it has absolutely helped for the first several weeks. I have not had it in several days though. Not sure why. I can get a pound right now if I want, but it makes me a bit foggy too. I will not knock it though. It has helped and couldn't have gotten this far with out it. Finding this board, I hope, is a Godsend. Knowing other people have made it, gives me hope. I know I will always like being high on pills, i just have to have faith that being off of pills is better for me and my little ones life. I also had to quit drinking when I went on subs over a year ago. I can't change anything now, but I will always wonder if giving up pills, for tons of weed, until I got "through it", would have been easier than giving up the Sub shit. The withdrawals couldn't have possibly lasted longer. Getting tired now, which is a good thing, since I think I slept an hour last night. TTYL.
Last edited by phookihurt
on Mon Jan 04, 2016 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.