Time Machine from hell

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Time Machine from hell

Postby ratch » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:20 pm

Using opioids (Including Sub or methadone) for years, and then quitting. Is like stepping out of a time machine feeling older, weaker, and with very faded memories of the last few years/decades that you were using. I know you "feel" normal while using, but its like living in a dream, very vivid while its going on, but the memory of the day fades as it goes on. I am so pissed at myself for staying on sub so fucking long, even 7 years later. its like a prison for your mind. Without looking at photographs or video, try to remember details about important events that you attended while on sub, pain pills, or heroin. Not easy stuff like grandma falling into a wedding cake, or your uncle getting drunk and pinching the waitresses ass, but details/flow of events Its like watching a action movie, blowing off the dialog, and just remembering the action scenes.. for a movie, thats OK. But for your life?

For anyone still stuck on sub, methadone, or pills, (Or happy on it :banghead: ) Please dont be complacent and lazy. There is so much more to life than just eliminating bad habits and paying the penalty for it by living life as a zombie (maintenance). I am not promoting a "clean" or "sober" lifestyle and all that jazz. But if you had a problem with opioids in the past, it may be a bright idea to stay away from them in the future once you are clean. Going from a "drug abuser" to someone who takes their "medication" daily may be a form of risk reduction, but at what cost?

We only have 80 to 100 years on this planet if we are lucky, do you really want to sacrifice a significant portion of it in a fog because you are being stubborn, lazy, stupid, or even scared? Grow a pair, or grab the ones you got, and do something about it. Make a plan to taper, set a jump date and stick to it. The drugs will always still be there if you fail, your youth wont stick around forever.

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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby cheeps » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:30 pm

Grow a pair, or grab the ones you got, and do something about it.



And.....for all you middle-aged women....The Ovaries4Dollars representative is a short phone call away. Our motto is...."you get them out, we'll pay the disposal fee" ****. :banana: :banana: :rofl:


Seriously though....Ratch is right.






























****Disclaimer, SubSux not responsible for Mental Health Professional Fees. :smart:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby cheeps » Tue Feb 21, 2012 9:33 pm

The fog, the isolation, the dead emotions, the fear of being cut off. Those reasons are the soul sucking reasons.
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Justjules » Wed Feb 22, 2012 10:10 am

What a truthful and wonderful post Ratch..
I think we want to blame others for our predicament..our parents, doctors or family..when it's our fault for being where we are!
Thanks for the kick in the ass!
My jump date is April 10...I will be at .25 or less a day till then....and free after that date!
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby wastedtime » Wed Feb 22, 2012 7:14 pm

Jules took my words.......and this is the reason why my user name is wastedtime,Thanks for putting it in those words Ratch!If it were shorter and i didnt have small grandkids it would be a sticky on the dresser!Goldie :thumbup:
Last edited by wastedtime on Mon Mar 05, 2012 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Poe » Tue Feb 28, 2012 4:34 pm

Thanks Ratch..and you ae so right! Grow a pair! I am on a taaper plan Cheeps suggested and I am not going to say that it is always easy but not nearly as difficult as some things have been in my life, military, kids etc. Everytime I am sitting in my office, sweating feeling tired and want to "just do a little piece of sub" I hear Cheeps saying DON'T SPIKE !!!" just like my TI back in my Pope days. Except he would add "PUSSY!! to that. I hope everyone who has an issue with Sub or any other maintenace drug that comes here really appreciated the no BS staance you all take. I know I do
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby cheeps » Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:22 pm

Everytime I am sitting in my office, sweating feeling tired and want to "just do a little piece of sub" I hear Cheeps saying DON'T SPIKE !!!" just like my TI back in my Pope days. Except he would add "PUSSY!! to that.



And you HAD DAMN WELL keep thinking that....but change PUSSY to STUPID LOSER.

We are NOT fucking helpless. We might be addicts but goddammit, we don't need to use that to take 2 more mgs...2 MGS DON'T do SHIT!! Spiking don't DO SHIT!!!!!!!!!

And...I don't want to hear, "I Can't do this"....nah....you WON'T fucking do it. Sub and methadone are too damn long acting to get bad UNTIL you get down to the short hairs.

Complain about your taper......no problem.....but save the pity party part until you are under 2mgs of sub or ten mgs of methadone.....that's when it gets hard. That's when I want to hear you whine like hell...everyday. Cause....THAT PART SUCKS. That's when ANYBODY can cry if they want to....man, woman, or child. :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :suicide2:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Justjules » Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:32 pm

Thanks Cheeps...I'm kinda struggling here(never spiking though)at .25 mg. I just can't get lower. For the first time I'm having real issues(flu-ish burning skin, real sleep issues, very very tired) I've never really stabilized on .25mg. I want to jump now but we have guests here for the next few weeks. So April 10th I take the plunge again. You made me feel like I have the right to bitch!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I feel lousy!
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby xenofears » Tue Feb 28, 2012 5:40 pm

Kick ass Substrate, good job! :)

And Cheeps, you sound like a drill sergeant. What happens if you cold-turkey, can you scream and throw things? :D

I was JUST responding to someone today to tell them how my memories of the first half of my life are entirely shot. It's really really bad! I couldn't second Ratch's post enough...
Sub free 3 years. Klonopin free 1 year. 100% drug free. Feeling somewhat ok. :thumbup:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby tw15t3d » Tue Feb 28, 2012 8:13 pm

Justjules wrote:Thanks Cheeps...I'm kinda struggling here(never spiking though)at .25 mg. I just can't get lower. For the first time I'm having real issues(flu-ish burning skin, real sleep issues, very very tired) I've never really stabilized on .25mg. I want to jump now but we have guests here for the next few weeks. So April 10th I take the plunge again. You made me feel like I have the right to bitch!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa, I feel lousy!



Poor thing..glad you are going to the doctor!
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby cheeps » Tue Feb 28, 2012 9:27 pm

xenofears wrote: Cheeps, you sound like a drill sergeant.



It's all Poe's fault.....IRL, I'm the puty tat. :lol:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Poe » Wed Feb 29, 2012 10:55 am

I will take the blame Cheeps LOL. You may sound like a drill seargeent (T.I. in USAF lingo) but you along with Ratch, Poncho,Xeno and others on this board give your time and help us newbies so you reaally are kind, caring individuals. Most of you vets, not all, but most of you do so to help and not to just hear yourself talk and you have earned my gratitude and respect. I am looking forward to my jump to be totally free of this nast drug! Thanks to you all!
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Poe » Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:25 am

Hey there Jules and anyone else. I am having some of the same things in my taper. I found that vitamin B-12 (sublingual) really helps with the fatigue. I have also stepped up my morning workouts a bit which is tough for a fat old man like me haha
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby tw15t3d » Wed Feb 29, 2012 11:30 am

Poe wrote:Hey there Jules and anyone else. I am having some of the same things in my taper. I found that vitamin B-12 (sublingual) really helps with the fatigue. I have also stepped up my morning workouts a bit which is tough for a fat old man like me haha


I've been wanting to try the b-12 sublinguals...thanks! Good job with the work outs! that takes ALOT of willpower for anybody in our shoes!
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Sub zero » Wed Feb 29, 2012 3:40 pm

In a way, I've had some good results from heavy use of opioids for years. I used to be all uptight and worried excessively about things...to the extent that it affected my sleeping and eating. Nowdays, after the opiates, I don't give a shit about anything anymore. Stuff that used to bother me doesn't phase me anymore. Do I suffer from memory problems like ratch brought up? Yeah, I probably do...but I don't give a shit :shrug:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby subster58 » Wed Feb 29, 2012 7:24 pm

Hi Ratch and everyone, thank Christ on a stick I didn't read your last post when I was a newbie, and I'm still new.
I believe everyone is doing the best they can. and it is called SUBS SUX< NOT
"Welcome to the happy joyous and free addicts that love subs and drugs" Isn't our goal to help people get off drugs or subs, or whatever. I mean if I feel like putting a bullet in my head, I'm damn well going to post what ever the fuck I want. ADDICTS judging other ADDICTS, please give me a fucking breaK.
You have many positive points. Everyone needs a kick is the ass, including me, and I got a set of balls the size of ole California, and a LOSER, so what.
Many people have helped me and continue to help me.
I'm detoxing like a MF now, so I guess I can get pissed to, and yell and scream. EVERYONE on this site has pissed and moaned, so what, I'll keep pissing and moaning until I get this evil soulsucking drug out of my system :gaah:
I WILL NOT GIVE UP
Than ks to everyone who is helping me and I hope you continue to help, where else can we go, to the other side, NOT.
With Deep Love and Respect to all
Tia :kiss:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Not a 12 stepper » Tue Mar 06, 2012 3:31 pm

I know exactly what you mean Ratch.


I often look back at my "lost decade" on opiates and continue to kick myself in the ass for it.

More important things in life, than spending your days trying not to be sick in withdrawal. And calling a "good day" nodding out as much as possible :banghead:
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby subster58 » Tue Mar 06, 2012 6:45 pm

hi everyone, sorry for the rant, hope I didn't offend anyone as I am detoxing and feeling like shit, just blowing off steam.
Thanks guys,
love ya
Tia
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby ratch » Tue Mar 06, 2012 8:27 pm

I just get mad for what I did to myself, plus I was 160 miles from the nearest pack of smokes at the
time I posted that. This site is to help people get off drugs, I guess I dragged out a cattle prong. But I meant
everything I said..after rereading it I need to edit for clarity
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Re: Time Machine from hell

Postby Justjules » Wed Mar 07, 2012 6:21 am

I don't know about anyone else..but my ass is sorely in need of a good ZAP from a cattle prod! It's not easy getting clean and expecting to be comfortable in the process is a unreal expectation. I'm skipping days this week..Friday, Sunday, tues...and I know it's gonna suck..but it's bringing me closer to freedom, and that makes me happy!!
I liked your original post Ratch, your a straight shooter, and I really respect that!
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