Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

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Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Wed Sep 21, 2016 1:54 pm

OK...so I managed to kick methadone, suboxone and miscellaneous opioids all on my own...a great accomplishment IMHO...but now, years later, it appears I have acquired an alcohol addiction. RLS, diarrhea and the "lead suit" were manageable...but this is a different animal. A year or two ago I enjoyed a few beers while manning the grill...and I had a rule...no beer before 4:00 pm...I stuck to that rule for a long time, but unfortunately I crossed a threshold in the past few months - the rule became 3 pm then 2pm. Then I began waking at 2 - 3 - or 4 in the morning and doing a few shots to slow down my ticker and "take the edge off". Lately, during the morning and afternoon, I am sweaty, red faced and very shaky. This only resolves after a few drinks. Today, I think I hit an all time low point. I've felt groggy and "out of it"...disassociated from reality the whole morning... numb and on the verge of puking and/or passing out...so I started drinking shots of booze. As the number of shots increases, I seem to gradually feel better. WTH do I do at this point? A cold turkey detox seems impossible. Can I do a long taper? For those of you threatened with the WD's from opioids...fear not...it won't kill you. Alcohol withdrawal OTOH may very well do me in. Anybody else been where I am now...and what do you do to escape it? Yes, I have an adequate stock of booze on hand, but the whole "supply and demand" thing is quite taxing to an unemployed person. Can a person "kick the habit" on their own??
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Wed Sep 21, 2016 3:00 pm

Hey there, I am somewhat of a newbie here so I hope you don't mind me chiming in until the others respond. First off, congrats on kicking all them opiates. I'm trying to get there myself.

As for chronic alcohol use, that affects glutamate and gaba receptors, right? I don't know how you feel about benzos, but maybe low doses of a long lasting benzo might help get you through the first couple days? Also, I keep hearing about baclofen for alcohol widrawal. Probably has side effects, but you could see if they outweight the benefits. You got a doctor who would prescribe stuff for you?
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Eyedotz » Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:27 pm

Hi SZ my old friend,
I've been following you for a while and I wanted to say hey. You were one of the dudes I spoke to during my long ass taper, so I remember you well. I just read your thread and it reflected a lot with me at this point in my life. I have been struggling with the 'take the edge off' feelings lately. I have never been a drinker but my mind has been glancing that direction in the past month. I had one day where I did drink enough to know that I shouldn't have. Opiates are out of the question, so my addictive uncomfortable mind is just searching, I think. I have recognized the issue for what it is and I'm working a solution to deal in a healthy way. This shit is hard dude. It really is. I wish I had advice for you on how to stop drinking but that shit can be deadly....you may want to check yourself into to a hospital for the main detox and try a support group of some kind. My heart goes out to you my friend. Please know you are not alone.

Hang in there man...keep us posted. ~dotz
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Subblind » Wed Sep 21, 2016 11:57 pm

Hey SZ, You go a lot of support right here,so stick around and keep posting...not knowing how much your actually consuming on a daily basis,could you address it similar to a sub taper?slowly decreasing until your no longer in a dangerous health situation...maybe water down you BevOC to reduce its potency?? Just trying to offer up some common sensible approaches that might help... You've beat some other bad shit in the past,you can do this too,I'm sure. Just remember,we got your back even if you ain't all that familiar with the current group posting here lately,we're here to offer support. Regards SB
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Thu Sep 22, 2016 12:28 pm

Hey thanks everybody. I'm touched by your offers of advice and your encouragement. My biggest problem is that I am reluctant to seek medical help because I don't want this to go on my permanent record. Once youre labeled an alcoholic...it will haunt you for life. There's no such thing as privacy these days....so any employer or law enforcement agency will know about my past. My current doctor is a Medicaid referral (no choice in the matter) and when I signed on with them, they made it clear that the doctor does not prescribe opioids, benzos, Ritalin etc. etc. My doctor knows I have an issue with drinking, however I don't think they realize the extent of it. I'm not really a heavy drinker at all...you wouldn't suspect anything if you spoke to me in person...but I've gotten myself into the pattern of taking a swig off and on around the clock. I maybe go through a 1.75 liter bottle of whiskey every 2-3 days...again and AFAIK not the worst level of consumption...but I'm needing it around the clock. Just a couple beers cures my shakes...but that is a problem because I need a job and need to drive a car....two things I refuse to do after consuming any amount of alcohol. What I really wanted to hear is that a person can do a long and gradual taper from alcohol...much like a lot of folks here are doing/have done from opioids. I'd be willing to try that. Having successfully kicked an Opioid habit myself...I know the drill...but alcohol is unrelenting. With alcohol, the WD's are just hours away at any given time....an alcohol habit requires constant infusions...and it's WD's are just the opposite of Suboxone WD's...alcohol is a short duration detox but very, very nasty.
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby cheeps » Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:07 pm

The bad news is...you've hit the tipping point. Tapering at this point isn't possible because once you take the first drink, all bets are off. You're getting ready to bottom out...and you don't have choices....so your only hope is to go thru a detox with medical professionals.

The good news is, you can research and choose who to use.

Sitting next to me right now is one of the top AA peeps in the LGBT community in Richmond VA. Shes been in recovery for years; she's been my best friend since we were 13-14. I have read her your posts. She pretty much says you need medical detox. I know very little about alcohol issues. The words above are hers.

SZ....How long has it taken for you to go from a few beers to this point? What are you self medicating for? Do you live by yourself? I'm so.sorry you are in this predicament. Alcohol is a fucking beast. I wish I had some more positive advice but you are right about seizures...that's very scary shit. I know when I've been in detox, the alcohol drinkers were always put on phenobarbital.

Damn son, I'd rather see you alive after detox than dead with a resume on your desk.
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Fri Sep 23, 2016 11:13 am

cheeps wrote:SZ....How long has it taken for you to go from a few beers to this point? What are you self medicating for? Do you live by yourself? I'm so.sorry you are in this predicament. Alcohol is a fucking beast. I wish I had some more positive advice but you are right about seizures...that's very scary shit. I know when I've been in detox, the alcohol drinkers were always put on phenobarbital.


Thanks cheeps. To answer your question, it took about two years. It all began very innocently...drinking a few beers while grilling steaks in the summertime. I never really drank to get drunk at that time...it was just an association with food...you know beer and grill...beer and pizza etc. Early on, I obeyed my own rule of no beer until after 4 pm. I stuck with that all the way until a few months ago. I suffer from insomnia and I also learned the benefits of drinking a six pack in the evening...instant sleep. :zzz: I think the "tipping point" you mentioned happened a couple of months ago. I started waking up around 2 am...agitated and a racing heartbeat...the cure? or so I thought was to drink a few beers or more recently I do shots. It works. I've crossed over to the point where I wake up feeling groggy and disoriented...I have to endure that for as long as I can. That feeling only goes away after a few drinks. I guess you could say that everything is now backwards....I'm drunk and disoriented when I'm not drinking...I'm normal and sober after I down a few drinks. What I really would like to know is has anyone here gone through with a medical detox...and what should I expect? I really would like to be able to deal with this on my own...I haven't really tried to quit so I don't know how I'll respond. I did skip an entire day without a drink when I had the flu a few months ago...and I didn't notice any difference...but then again, the flu makes you feel like shit anyway.
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Steph1850 » Fri Sep 23, 2016 4:33 pm

Oh my gosh, Sub Zero, I relate to everything you are describing and have been thru it many many times myself. I got to the point where I was drinking around the clock......in the morning, on the way TO and FROM work, on my lunch hour, and then all night when I got home from work. Scary, dangerous shit.
If you can go to a detox, it's the right move. I've been to detox three times in my life and I haven't really had any blowback in terms of employment or anything. Only when I've opened my big mouth in early days of my newfound sobriety and told people who are ignorant and judgemental. Alcoholism is a disease, and one you'll have to fight for the rest of your life. I'm struggling with it right now.

Can you go to an AA meeting? Even if you don't stop drinking right away, you might want to hear what other alcoholics in recovery have to say. You won't feel so alone and so many people will reach out to help you.

I can recommend an excellent facility in California.
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk.
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby cheeps » Fri Sep 23, 2016 8:12 pm

Some of my best rehab buddies were detoxing booze. They put them on the pheno, watched them and that was all I could tell.

Stephie...What else do they do?
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Steph1850 » Sat Sep 24, 2016 9:53 pm

cheeps wrote:Some of my best rehab buddies were detoxing booze. They put them on the pheno, watched them and that was all I could tell.

Stephie...What else do they do?


For the allies, if you are NOT also a benzo user, they give you Valium usually to help with detox in the first few days, monitor blood pressure of course, something to sleep.

If you are a benzo user and drink, you get phenobarbital, and Clonidine for detox. Depending on how much you drink,'you can get out in four days like my friends did, or 5-7 days. My blood pressure kept soaring because I was also take off sub so I stayed 9 days. You don't sound like what I'd call a chronic alcoholic if you are just crossing the line now. I've seen 30- year alcoholic get out of detox in 5 days.

Yay, I feel so honored to be the resident alcoholic expert! Lol! I can joke now but SZ, I can tell you it took me years and years to come to grips wit my that term....alcoholic. Such a label with a bad rap. I am a perfectionist and very intelligent and funny and pretty...how Could I be the "A" word? And yet we all come in different shapes sizes, colors. I know some of the richest alcoholics in the world from my rehab days in Newport Beach, CA. There's no shame in being an alcoholic if that's concerns you. Alcoholic, addict, does the label really matter?

Please PM me whenever and I will answer any and all questions.
Love you, SZ!
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Sun Sep 25, 2016 12:21 pm

Thanks Steph. I agree with you that chemical dependency...no matter what the substance is all the same. IDK why alcohol deserves it's own unique label. I know quite a few older people who had bouts with alcohol in past decades...they are good people, my friends, and I'm not ashamed to join their group so to speak. Sometimes I think it is "in the cards"...in our DNA to become addicts or "alcoholics". I know I had a couple ancestors who were alkies. TBH I never cared one bit for alcohol until very recently. I was a pothead in high school and a painkiller user during my 30's into my early 40's. I just got into the habit of drinking Cerveza's while standing at the grill cooking steaks. I associated beer with food...goes great with pizza, grilled foods....anything. Anyhow, fast forward to the present and I just drink too much too often trying to feel norma;. I don't get drunk at all. It used to be I felt sick if I hadn't had a drink for several hours...so I fixed it by taking a drink. Nowdays, I feel sick whether or not I drink. Bottom line is it is time to quit. Big question is when, where and how. TBD...
Last edited by Sub zero on Fri Sep 30, 2016 6:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
If I could go back and do it all over again...I wouldn't

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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Poncho » Wed Sep 28, 2016 11:08 am

Been having the same issue as you for about a year now. Always drank a lot of beer nightly but didn't really get drunk. But the last year I've been killing 1/2 to full pint of Crowne every night along with 6-7 beers. Mix that with a little kratom and the last few months I can feel WD's from it all during the afternoon at work. I work everyday and only drink after work so I'm a functioning drunk. Haven't done shit about it and not sure I will right now but I know I need to. Detox is out of the question and I'll probably never give up the beer but the whiskey needs to stop. I know I'll hear the AA shit about needing to quit both and you're probably right.
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Fri Sep 30, 2016 6:10 pm

Check your PM Poncho
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Sun Nov 06, 2016 11:37 am

Thought I should update...and also close this thread out. I no longer have an alcohol problem. Had my last drinks in the wee hours of October 4th. Later that day I had an attack of gagging and dry heaves...which had been buliding up over the prior week or so. I went to the ER and was diagnosed with acute alcohol-induced pancreatitis. Spent 9 days in the hospital. Never even thought about, or craved alcohol while I was there. After I was released, I gave my stash of alcohol to my brother-in-law. Haven't had any booze for over a month now....and probably never will again as I don't want to do any more damage to my pancreas and liver...both of which I'm told are healing nicely due to my new alcohol-free and low-fat diet. Bottom line for the rest of you out there...if you are drinking regularly and/or heavily...start cutting back now - even if it's just only drinking one less drink every day. Start tapering back....even if only very slowly. If you're on hard liquor, consider switching to beer or wine...as they are diluted. Don't wait until it's too late. I got lucky, apparently. You can maintain an opioid habit for years without serious consequences, but alcohol is different and will eventually kill its users if they drink long enough and heavily enough. Alcohol causes cancer, cirrhosis, pancreatitis, brain damage and several other health conditions...stay away from it.
If I could go back and do it all over again...I wouldn't

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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby cheeps » Mon Nov 07, 2016 5:36 pm

OMG SZ, I hate that you had to go thru all that hospitalization but I'm so happy that you were able to come out healing!!! OH HELL YEAH!!!

Y'all listen to the man here...he knows what he's talking about!!

Very relieved dude...VERY relived to know you are ok and on the upswing! :cheers: :cheers:
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby CheeZeeAnnDee » Tue Nov 08, 2016 10:28 am

That is wonderful that you managed to stop before doing any lasting damage. Scary stuff.
All you have is your fire
And the place you need to reach
Don't you ever tame your demons
But always keep them on a leash

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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby Sub zero » Tue Nov 08, 2016 11:32 am

Thanks for the nice words cheeps and cheezeeandee. I guess I'm OK...any long-term effects remain to be seen. Still waiting for my appetite to come back. As of now I can only eat small amounts before I feel full...then a half hour later I'm hungry again. I miss the days when I used to be able to gobble down two Super Big Boys at Frischs.
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Re: Breaking news...SZ is an alcoholic

Postby cheeps » Tue Nov 08, 2016 1:07 pm

Pretty soon you'll be fat and happy!
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