Walk my own truth

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Walk my own truth

Postby naiveandconcerned » Fri Aug 19, 2016 12:42 pm

Hello everyone, first time blogger any where. I have been surfing and reading posts for about 2 hours now. I have had many questions answered but a few more have come up...so let me introduce myself before I do something else with my day. I am a 61 year old female. I have had issues with chronic pain since at least 1995. Despite fibro and multiple injuries I was able to function as an RN in ICU environments working 12 hour shifts 3-6 days a week.
Dec. 2009 I completely herniated my L4-5 disc to the right at work. Managed to return to work on alleve after 4 days off on oxy. But in April 2011 I blew out the L3-4 disc to the left. I was overwhelmed by this level of pain. I was on some form of oxy until April of this year. I won't bother ranting about our pain management system. Suffice it to say requests for non-narcotic measures didn't get adequate response. In addition I have multiple med sensitivities.
The started me on 2 strips of 8/2 suboxone strips. I was thrilled with the pain relief and so happy not to be a zombie. Then in our mandatory group meetings I heard people talk about the horror of getting off sub. Since I pay out of pocket for the $325 clinic + scrips I am anxious to get down and off. My Doctor is definitely not on board. When I told him I was taking 11/2 strips successfully he was angry. Told me I had no business reducing until he recommended and said he would not reduce until at least one year at the 16mg day regimen. That is when I started lying.
I am now at 6-8mg daily for the last week. Glad to know my sudden return to laziness and sleep problems is a not a failure of my character.
I have also been unable to tolerate the additional meds he is prescribing me. trazadone among them.
Currently main questions I have. Will my urine screen show I am not taking trazadone? Will it show the dose of sub I take. And is alcohol really going to kill me? I sure could use a cold brew or icy cocktail some days.
Thank you many times over. I will check in regularly to read for answers to this and all the info I didn't know I needed. P.S. will the Imodium used this way constipate? that 2 has been an issue on opiates. :?
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Re: detoxing is not easy

Postby cheeps » Fri Aug 19, 2016 4:28 pm

Your dr is a greedy prick...you are a PM patient not a drug abuser! He has no business giving you the speil that addicts get....staying on it for at least a year before reducing? WTF does he know about sub and pain anyways....not a damn thing!

Your situation is going to be very common for many many people in the coming years. :gaah: :gaah:

The good news is that you have only been on this shit a few months. And that is a very good thing. What are you going to use for pain when you get off this shit?

Drop to 4mgs anytime. You won't feel much....you actually won't feel much wds for quite a while. Sub stacks in your system....it's got the long half life like methadone does. Once you taper down below 1mg is when it gets rocky....but you'll be ok.

The only test that will trip you up is a sub levels test. Be discreet and try to find out if this is a urine screen or a blood test. I wish I knew. On the days you think they may test for that you could take more but....aren't you sitting on a rather large stockpile? If not, get as much as you can, as soon as you can.....if he does cut you off you'll have plenty to taper with. I don't think there's a test for trazadone...I wouldn't worry about that one.


Welcome to SS. I really think you'll be able to get off this evil shit easily. I'd really like to knock your Drs head back into yesterday though....fuck that rat bastard. He wants nice compliant customers because he's no dr....he's a greedy money hungry jerk. :ogeez:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: detoxing is not easy

Postby Subblind » Fri Aug 19, 2016 9:00 pm

Hi and welcome...listen to Cheeps and she will help you out.you sound like you know what you want and you should be ok... I too,am on bupe for pain but my story is a bit more convoluted than I feel like going into now.you could read my thread if your interested.get yourself some miralax and start that ASAP.it will help within a few days...,nicely.your dr probably isn't checking sub levels,as much as he is just confirming your taking it.they are only looking for opiates and bad shit so if trazadone isn't that it shouldn't be an issue...good luck and welcome to SS...
Did you start your own thread???
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Re: detoxing is not easy

Postby naiveandconcerned » Sat Aug 20, 2016 9:08 pm

Hey, Thanks Cheeps ans subblind for the responses. I was almost afraid I wouldn't find any responses. One of the two good counselors at the clinic I told about my doctors responses said to walk my own truth. That's easier since life is getting better just lying my way through the process to get the scripts piled up.I have some family matters and a vacation soon approaching. So 2nd week of Sept. I will go to 1/2 strip. I am managing well on 3/4 a day now so the stockpile is growing quick.
Once I get to 2mg I should have a good idea of when I can pocket my cash in earnest. I also know they accept readmits if I end the program early without bruising too many egos. Hell I can chew on my tongue that long. That pain is nothing compared to what I've been through. Just not being suicidal is a marvelous thing. I do have concerns over post sub management. I no longer tolerate the oxy family. I don't tolerate gabepentin or lyrica. I haven't yet gotten a doc to listen to a request seriously for an implanted nerve simulator. :banghead: I do respond well to my TENS unit and think it would provide great results. So that is something I also need to push for before I jump off. But if I get where I can think I can plan. Thanks again, I will be back daily for awhile, even if just to read and learn. :)
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Re: detoxing is not easy

Postby Subblind » Sun Aug 21, 2016 6:28 am

Start your own thread darling...it'll be better for us to see you
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Re: detoxing is not easy

Postby cheeps » Sun Aug 21, 2016 10:10 am

Subblind wrote:Start your own thread darling...it'll be better for us to see you


I'm going to see if I can split these posts for you and name your thread...walk my own truth.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: Walk my own truth

Postby Steph1850 » Tue Aug 23, 2016 1:12 pm

Welcome to SS, Naive!

I'm so sorry your doc put you on sub for pain mgmt and then treated you like an addict. That's SO WRONG. And it's crazy that you can't get anyone to listen to you for non-pharma solutions!!! And the clinic fees + scripts.....AGGHH! It makes me so angry for you.

Good for you for starting your taper and not listening to the doc. I had a similar experience. I dropped 45 pounds on sub, my hair was falling out in clumps everyday, and my period stopped for 9 months, and still my doctor said those weren't side effects of sub. Most who prescribe really don't know what they are doing.

Ask any questions you have. We're hear to listen and provide our experiences. I was at 28 mg daily for opiates and pain mgmt. I am now at .15mg. The sleep issues and laziness are definitely because of the taper.
************
Tapering since July 2015. Jumped on 9/21/16!
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