Ok messed up

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Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:36 am

So I posted here a few weeks back and I made it 12 days off the subs before going and doing some H I did that for about ten days and I have about 8 8mg films left of sub. So basically I haven't had any subs for well over 20 days or so. I feel like it's completely out of my system but now I'm coming off the H.. My question is should I use the subs for a few days to get through some of the H withdrawals or just kick the H with nothing. I have no clonidine, all I have is 4 Xanax and my friend has 6 more for me. I took 4 mg or sub last night and couldn't sleep for shit. It's like it had no effect, I was hot and cold getting the sweats, moving constantly and walking around. I took another 4mg this morning and still don't feel right. Any suggestions would help. I really want to be sober from everything.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby cheeps » Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:42 am

Stop......, stop all of it....get off.....burn the sub....you have enough in your system now for two days.


You need help with relapsing more than detoxing. Is there any decent rehab setting or outpatient program nearby.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:44 am

Unfortunately not. Not that I can get into anyway. I just didn't know if the sub would help or hurt me since I haven't taken it in a short while
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby cheeps » Thu Feb 25, 2016 11:46 am

I feel like the sub is going to buy you some time until the shit starts over....in about two days. So you have two days to make some decisions about your life.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby subster58 » Thu Feb 25, 2016 9:54 pm

ST, ditto to what cheeps posted. You're going to go through some shit either way. Ditch the subs. Were you in detox mode when you started taking the subs?
Good Luck
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Fri Feb 26, 2016 2:04 am

Hi subster. No I wasn't really in full blown withdrawal when I took the sub but I tried to take another piece prob 30 hours after my last snort of H and still nothing. I can't sleep a wink. So now I have no more sub because I got rid of it and I'm just sitting here while the rest of the world sleeps. It sucks lol. My pupils are big and everything. It's been 37 hours since my last bit of H. I know I don't want to use anymore and I need to get off of this ride.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:15 pm

You sure do! Time to pay the piper....the hardest time period is after two weeks.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Bupepoop » Fri Feb 26, 2016 12:25 pm

Yeah, you messed up pretty bad dude, but you owned up to it and are fighting back. Brace yourself, you got a war coming your way. Fight through it. Don't be a Nootles.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 26, 2016 3:41 pm

Commitment is all I can say at this point....you have to pull up the whites and push....get away from those who claim they want to help.

Your downfall is keeping contacts during the first few months....

You need to do this now.....you do not want this monkey on your back. The heroin cycle is coming after you and it will win if you don't commit.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Fri Feb 26, 2016 4:27 pm

Thanks for the replies guys. I'm trying my damn best to stay committed. My parents know what's going on so I have been here all day just talking. I have a life, an amazing girl, a job, and happiness to look forward to. I can't have this weighing me down anymore. It brings nothing but pain.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby cheeps » Fri Feb 26, 2016 6:46 pm

Very good that you have the family support....very good. Honesty can be a barrier sometimes. Remember that they have no idea of how hard this is....unless of course they have had to quit drinking. I bet your parents have seen some of their friends and extended family struggle.

Gather your comfort meds up....then block anyone from the old way of life out. You need to be selfish and use this chance to get as much help as you can.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Fri Feb 26, 2016 9:24 pm

God damn the day has dragged on foreverrrrrr. Yeah my girl knows what's going on too. We live together and she has never touched an opiate, but she is my biggest fan. I'm so fuckin hot then cold and am getting hot flashes lol. As for comfort meds all I have are 6 Xanax which are 0.5 mg. I have only taken Xanax once before and that was years ago. And I have vitamin water. And sex haha. God I'm fucked.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby syd » Sat Feb 27, 2016 11:58 am

If you want some tools on relapsing and staying clean, go here...


viewtopic.php?f=15&t=3249
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Sat Feb 27, 2016 12:18 pm

Thank you so much for that syd. Still feel about the same today. Got a little sleep from an ambien but still have arm pit sweating and hot and cold flashes. Get these tingles that make me shake my head once in awhile. My parents are going on a 2 day trip tomorrow and want me to go. One minute I want to go cause I think it will be good for me and the next minute I don't want to. Agh I'll probably go just to get away for 2 days.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby syd » Sat Feb 27, 2016 1:17 pm

I should have said, just reading thru that list, wont do shit for you. It requires Active participation.

For it to truly work, you need to carefully evaluate the questions and write out the answers.
Writing it down helps to reinforce it in your head. Kinda like keeping a journal.

Getting out is a better choice than sitting home. At home you will be 100% focused on how shitty you feel. It may drop to 95% if you are out & about :lol: Take the trip.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby cheeps » Sat Feb 27, 2016 1:33 pm

Hell yeah....go. :cheers:
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Sat Feb 27, 2016 2:47 pm

The trip is at a waterpark which is indoors. Water slides, hot tubs, all that type of stuff. My choices are go, or stay home with my girl which is where I'm at right now and listening to music feeling pretty good. Music sounds like it used to. I'm actually having fun. Only downside to the trip is there would be 10 of us in one big room. If I'm up pacing around and shit I don't want to disturb anyone. Any thoughts fellas/ladies? Need to decide by 7 a.m. Eastern because they roll out at 9.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby syd » Sat Feb 27, 2016 2:58 pm

10 ppl sleeping in the same room? :gaah:

Oh, Hell NO. Stay home dude. Hang out here at SSux.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby Secondtry » Sat Feb 27, 2016 3:07 pm

No there's seperate bedrooms haha but I would be sharing a room with someone. They all connect it's like a house.
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Re: Ok messed up

Postby subster58 » Sat Feb 27, 2016 3:37 pm

ST, it's all up to you about going on the trip. The hot tub will feel good, but you can't use it at 3am,, right? Or maybe you can if it's a house. You're in the thick of detox so the choice is yours. Sounds like you want to be with your girls, and be in your own house. I don't like anyone being around me when I feel like shit.
Good luck
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