Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

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Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Punky74 » Mon Dec 28, 2015 2:35 pm

Hello all,
I have been on and off this site for a while, lurking. :silent: Things are coming to a head for me and I am in need of advice. :shifty:
I started my sub journey in 2006 when I realized I was addicted to the pain medication I was taking for an ankle injury. I have been on Sub for 8 years now and have had to slowly go up on dosage, I got up to 24mg/day until a few weeks ago I decided to start the taper and have been on 16mg for about 2 weeks now. I am trying to decide if I would do best going into a 30 day rehab to detox the rest of the sub and work on addiction, codependency, and depression issues. For the longest time, sub wasn't looked at as a drug that needed detox but now I have found there are many places that offer sub detox. I am not talking rapid detox where they put you under and have you "all better" when you wake up. I am talking about inpatient detox. What is really complicating all of this is the fact that I am a nurse. :shh: I have been an LPN since 2013. I have never had any write ups or issues with med administration. Sub is my dirty little secret. I have medical liability insurance but recently discovered that I cannot practice in my state while taking subs. My PCP who just found out I am a nurse recently sent me a certified letter stating that she can no longer treat me.(She has only seen me a handful of times since 2009 as a patient and none of the times were regarding addiction or subs) I am scared she is getting ready to report me to the BON. She gave no indication that she was but I just have a feeling. I am not sure that she can, since I am her patient but then she gave me notice that she will no longer treat me, I am guessing she is maneuvering to do just that.
:?: :?: :?: :?: First and foremost I need off Sub for my health and sanity. Second, I cannot lose my license, it has been my saving grace. What can I do? What should I do? PLEASE HELP ASAP! :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Kurdt » Mon Dec 28, 2015 3:12 pm

My knee-jerk response to that is HELL NO! And, that is because I have been in rehab (a few of them), before. If it is anything like the rehabs I have been to, they will immediately take you off the subs and *maybe* give you an Ativan and a B12 in the morning. Otherwise, you are going to be toughing it out behind locked doors with people breathing down your neck. Yes, it is good for working through the issues that led to your addiction, etc. But, if your main goal is getting off the subs as quickly as possible, I wouldn't go that route. What I would do is drop to 4mg ALMOST immediately. You should be able to drop to that dose, relatively, painlessly. The dose you are on (16mg), is WAYYYYY too high! You, probably, aren't even feeling any benefits from anything over 8mg, anyway. So, drop to 4mg, ASAP. Then, start a taper from there. Once you get to a manageable level <2mg (At the MOST), take a few days off of work and jump. The ONLY reason I would go the rehab route is if that is the only way you can salvage your Nursing License. Otherwise, I would taper/jump on my own and then go to meetings/therapy to work through the issues. Good luck!
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby yup. » Mon Dec 28, 2015 8:53 pm

I'm not entirely sure how this works but isn't giving out your medical information, regardless of to whom the information is given, a violation of your rights? I'm familiar with HIPAA laws to some extent but I also know that's in regards to insurance and so forth but I'm pretty sure there's laws against a doctor giving out your medical history, regardless of whether you're their patient now or in the past.
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby subster58 » Mon Dec 28, 2015 10:00 pm

Punky, welcome to ss and I'm going to cuss and blow up, so I don't want to scare you. I second fucking hell no about sub detox. I have been a nurse for over 40 years. What MD has been giving you the subs or have you got them off the street? Second the MD CAN NOT report to the BON or she would be breaking the H ippa laws and I'd sue her ass. Now if you were caught stealing drugs where you worked that would be different, but it doesn't sound like that is the case. Then they would make you go to rehab and you would have the BON so far up your ass to keep your license. Example, go to treatment, then classes,, then random drug tests for up to 3 years. Then when you got a job you would have to tell them about the subs and it will be on your record with the BON the rest of your life. After you completed all that I'm not sure how long you have to go through this BS until you graduate from the program. A nurse friend of mine got caught stealing Demerol and she was shooting up at work and got busted. She was glad because she wanted off but could not do it on her own, so she went to Betty Ford
I went to Hanley Hazelton and the nurse there told me to fill out a form to send to the BON, I took it and threw it away. The MD's I worked for didn't charge me, because the first place you go to is jail. The rehab could not tell the BON due to HIPPA laws, plus the drugs I was taking had nothing to do with where I worked. I did that number to myself off working hours. Your PCP is a real bitch and if you can slide by without the BON knowing keep that information to yourself, including all MD's ANYONE because there are so many judgmental people out in the real world, not on this site. I was started on 32mg of subs for taking oxycodone 30g 4-5 x a day. Fucking money grubbing assholes. I got my meds from a MD, not that makes any difference, the outcome is the same for all of us, so I'm not better by any means or worse, just an addict. You've been on subs for 8 years so it's going to take some time to get you off, more than a weekend. We all wish that was the case.
I agree with Kurdt on everything he posted. You have a mad stack of subs in your system and won't feel any difference in at least 3 days. 2mg and under is where the real work starts. Your body will let you know. You need to educate yourself first and read cheeps post on detox, nuts to bolts I think that's the name and she will come a long and give you a taper plan. This will be one of the hardest thing you've ever done, but well worth it. If I can get off 32mg with Cheeps taper plan anyone can. Read some stories. 16mg and 24mg is a shit load of subs . There's also a post for comfort meds you will want to have on hand when you get into the low numbers. I think I've said enough for now. Hopefully not too much to scare you away. If you do feel like you need in house detox and have many issues to deal with, you could go that way too. The choices are yours. Some peeps have jumped off 8mg but most do not advise that. You really want to get off this poison for it to work.
Post everyday if you need to. I did because I needed all the help I could get and no one else understood
Hang in there, help is on the way.
Peace,
Tia
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Punky74 » Tue Dec 29, 2015 1:18 am

Thank you all for the quick responses. I have never stolen any narcs, had any trouble with med count being off etc. I looked up the info trying to figure out if the Dr could report me to BON and I think you are right that she can't since she was treating me at the time. She was totally judgmental and didn't care to listen to my story, she pre-judged me. I could see the disgust in her eyes and hear the disdain in her voice. I couldn't wait to get out of there. I couldn't believe what I was experiencing.
NO one knows anything about my sub use. My Sub Dr doesn't know I am a nurse- I have kept this hidden very well. I have gone from 24mg/day to 16mg/day for 15 days and today gone down to 12mg/day. I didn't realize these tapers weren't doing anything- I will go directly to 8mg/day starting tomorrow and check out the taper you were mentioning- Is there a specific thread the taper is in?
Now I am so paranoid that if anything happens at work and the BON finds out I'm on Sub they will automatically blame me saying I was under the influence at work and it hindered my judgement to treat patients. I am nervous that I could be sued by a family etc. To be clear, I have never had any issues at work, my performance has never suffered, I have never even thought of taking narcs (I haven't touched a pain pill or alcohol since 2007)
I just wish every Dr was educated on this medication and the stigma would go away- It is ridiculous that people with a past must hide it like a dirty little secret for fear of losing their license or careers.
Thank you again for the words of support and encouragement. I have called and left a message for this Dr to get an explanation of why she can't treat me anymore (I know why but I want to hear her say it) do I have any recourse? I guess the only thing she could do is anonymously report me and that would definitely open a can of worms. I know the drug tests do not show subs unless they are specifically looking for it so I don't worry about that. I am guessing the paranoia is from the drop in sub dosage- I am way more emotional and worry about everything!
I will make it a point to post as much as possible on here in order to keep my mind straight- It is an amazing site and I feel at home here with people who understand exactly what I am going through.
Thanks again.
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby subster58 » Tue Dec 29, 2015 11:38 am

Hi Punky, I wouldn't call your old PCP about anything and never go back. Find a new PCP and don't tell them shit about subs. Your sub MD is also as ass for keeping you on subs for 8 years. It's all about the money. So when you do start the taper don't tell him shit. Just keep filling the RX until cheeps comes with a taper plan. The sub MD wants you to stay on subs as it is a real money maker for him and they don't like that patients taper on their own. I went to a sub MD for over 3 years and when I stashed enough away I never went back. I never received a phone call from his office, fuckers. I spent thousands of dollars. Sub MD can only have so many people on subs. I don't know, maybe that law has changed. So he just filled my apt with some other poor soul who got sucked into taking this evil drug. What drug were you taking for your ankle, how much and how often. Did you get the RX for pain meds via a MD? The answers will also tell us the taper plan. The site for comfort meds is From Soup To Nuts.lol . I shouldn't email when I'm half a sleep. My computer is on the fritz.
Anyway comfort meds would be clonidine, klonopin, Neurontin or lyrica, flexiril, Seroquel, benzo's in small amounts for short period. . Imodium up to 3x the normal dose. Most of these meds will help later when you start feeling with draw symptoms. You sound motivated and have a good head on your shoulders. Start exercising now and drink a shit ton of water to help prepare for detox. Keep a record starting now of what med you take when and the dosage. Very important because later you will forget. I used a calendar. Just know that this process is going to take some time, and you can do it. As I posted before educate yourself, read some story's There's a lot of them. Everyone is different and detoxes differently. Did they drug test you for your current job?
Peace
Tia
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby subster58 » Tue Dec 29, 2015 1:18 pm

Hi Punky, this is a PS. I do not have all the answers, I speak only from my own experience and what I have been through. You need to decide for yourself what to do. Laws are different in many states, so you need to find out what the laws are in your state. I don't want to give you information that may no longer be true, or be different in your state. I just want to be clear, this is my experience and my friend of 25 years experience. I have been off subs for 3 years and 8 months. I was started on 32mg and was only able to get off due to this site and all the great people who helped me. Don't want to mislead you in any way and I'm sorry if I did.
Peace
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Don_Pisto » Tue Dec 29, 2015 2:00 pm

Hello Punky,
I cast my vote to also add hell no to the rehab. It's good you decided to get off the subs. It's not only best for your career but more for your health, both mental and physical.

Here is an idea to consider: go ahead and get a refill of your subs and call it the final refill. You can then use it to taper off and use the taper time to develop new habits and slowly regain your freedom. No more sub Dr needed and you can get a new pcp Dr with a clean slate because your final sub refill effectively ends your "maintenance treatment". This is very doable because this is exactly what I did when I peaked at 24mg. I say all this because based on the little you posted, I believe you can kick this stuff's ass.

Remember the humiliation you endured with the way your pcp dismissed you as a patient and use that as motivation. This drug is marketed as a miracle but licensed health care professionals cannot practice while on subs? That's because it's not a miracle. It's a very powerful narcotic and any patient in "maintenance therapy" is an active opiate using addict.

I hope you keep educating yourself, that's the best thing to do at the stage your in and hopefully get pissed off or a burning desire to end the use of subs. Doing this will regain you your freedom.

Keep reading and learning about subs and if a taper sounds like something you want to commit to, I'll be happy to share what worked for me. Everyone is different, but there are many people here who successfully beat this and you definitely can beat this without using a rehab.

DP
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby subster58 » Wed Dec 30, 2015 9:31 pm

Hi Punky, Don said it best. He's recently been through it and his thread is a good read, honest, to the point etc. so if you have time I'd read his.
Peace
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Patti13_07 » Thu Dec 31, 2015 10:35 am

Hi Punky,

I'm in the midst of acute sub withdrawal so don't have much advice but do need to say hell fuck no to the rehab idea. I've been countless times (never for subs) and only learned how to be more manipulative and stay higher, longer. You can definitely handle it better on your own, however, I think you'll need someone close to you, whom you trust, to support you in your day to day life. I hid it from EVERYONE for a long time so I understand your shame. There's nothing to be ashamed of though. It is what it is. Be proud that you're ready. Educate yourself. Expect it to be rough and remind yourself that what you're feeling is just the poison leaving your body. It's hard as fuck, no bullshit, but you can do it.

Patti
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby subster58 » Fri Jan 01, 2016 11:51 am

Hi Punky, how are you. Maybe Cheeps can come along and give you a taper plan. Tis the Holiday so people are off doing family things. Maybe she'll pop in, the crazy ole bat,,,lol love you cheepers baby
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Punky74 » Fri Jan 01, 2016 7:06 pm

Thank you all for the advice, I will definitely only see the sub doc one more time- can't afford the copays with it being a new year- I have 1.5 month worth of subs now since starting the taper so I think having one more script will work perfectly to get me through to the end. I can't wait to be DONE! Thank you Don, Tia, and Patty for reaching out and offering your help! I will TAKE IT!
On 12mg - going DOWWWWWN!
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Steph1850 » Mon Jan 04, 2016 6:32 pm

Don't go to rehab. I have so been where you are right now. Read my thread. I got up to 32mg and even 40 mg of sub daily. Over half of hair fell out, my period stopped, I lost over 40 pounds, my teeth completely broken down and have cavitities everywhere. All in just ONE YEAR on sub. In April 2015 I was taking 32 mg. I have been tapering since June II have to go slow because my anxiety is off the charts) and I'm down to 4.75mg. You can do this. I went to rehab a year ago and they took me off sub and it was completely horrible. Even rehab doctors don't know how to treat sub detox. Not really. This members of this board no better and you can do this with everyone's help. I was just like you -- I thought I had to go back to detox. But fuck that. I am tapering with the help of this board, these great people, I am doing it on my terms and I am learning so much about discipline and patience in the meanwhile that I never learned in rehab. In rehab, I only learned how to get by and say what I had to in order to get discharged. You can learn to live sub free and clean with the help of these people right here.

Welcome to SS.
************
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby subster58 » Mon Jan 04, 2016 9:16 pm

Hi Punky, how are you? What dose are you on now? Steph has a good thread. She has come so far and done so well, It's a process we all went through. Educate yourself, which I know you have been doing. There are many people recently who have gotten off subs are in the process like you. We're all rooting for you.
Hope you are stable on one dose before you drop again. That's the key, so you don't spike.
Thinking about you and hoping you are doing ok with your taper plan. you can do it !!!
Love ya
Tia
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby cheeps » Mon Jan 04, 2016 10:33 pm

Pinky....go to 8mgs and wait it out....on day five, you'll know if you feel a little crappy that it's just sub. In 5 more days you can go to 4 and wait it out again. Not much will happen except your emotions will change and you may have temperature changes....

Hang on, you'll be down and feeling better soon!
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Punky74 » Tue Jan 05, 2016 3:25 pm

Hey all-
I am on 12mg right now- feeling stable just a little more emotional! I plan on tapering down again this week- like Cheeps says and wait a few days to see how it goes- 8mg it is! I will continue to read and gather strength from those who have gone through this before me- I will need it for the lower doses! Thanks again for checking in- I am focused and not letting subs win!! Talk soon!
K
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby cheeps » Tue Jan 05, 2016 9:37 pm

:problem: Loll at my new iPad that changes punky to pinky...some of these typos are funny, most are a little... :think: embarrassing.....

K...you can do this....grab all your patience and go with the flow. No worries.
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby CTCheryl » Thu Jan 07, 2016 11:18 am

Hey Punky aka Pinky....hahha, sorry I haven't been on the boards, I've been sick with a strange throat thing for awhile now. Heading to an ENT tomorrow. I can honestly tell you, I didn't really feel any strong symptoms until I got under 2mgs. And then not so bad, manageable with immodium and neurontin and lots and lots of fluids. Once I got down lower of course I needed more comfort meds, but one step at a time here. You are doing great, I feel slow and steady is better for most unless you can't take the drawn out symptoms. Some just like to suffer greatly for a shorter amount of time. For me it was more the mental stuff, the leg jumping, sweats and depression that seemed to last long. I cried all the time and felt like the world was against me. It's really a wonder I kept a job during this whole thing.

Please PM me any time you'd like to discuss anything off line. Vent, whatever...I will always listen.

Cheryl
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby Punky74 » Sat Jan 09, 2016 7:10 pm

Thank you Cheryl for the words of support. Glad you are feeling better!
I am on day 28 overall taper and day 12 on 12mg of sub. I will go to day 15 on 12mg then go down to 8mg for 15 days.
I have pretty much leveled out now so I think 15 days is a good number for each taper. We will see if that changes when I get to a lower dose-
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Re: Rehab for Sub detox? AND I am a Nurse...

Postby cheeps » Sat Jan 16, 2016 2:51 pm

Hey punkydoodle...how are you? Thinking of you and hope all is well.
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