hi Britt, good luck in getting the full time job. Hope it works out for you. Feeling of wanting to go back with him are normal. Like a comfortable pair of slippers that are falling apart. You guys are in 2 different places right now and he is using your past to make you want to stay. Has he changed. Is he still slamming the subs? You've worked so hard and come so far my fear is eventually you'll go back to the same old shit. You shooting him up and after awhile why the fuck not, join him. It seems like it would be easier, but in the long run you're the only one that has changed and wants a clean and sober life. Tell him to come back in a year if he can be clean and sober.
You're very emotional right now and need to be real careful not to fall into his BS. Like I know I can be around people who drink or smoke pot, doesn't bother me in the least and I don't want either. Have had that tested several times. But if someone in my life bought coke around I may be able to say no for a short time, or not at all. I just know that I will die if I ever do coke again. My heart couldn't take it, plus I don't know how to stop, and I've stopped many things. You know the answer to your question and I know you need to vent it out. Just think it through to the end and you'll get your answer. Easier isn't always better. You're an awesome girl and deserve the best life has to offer, continue to move forward not back. You can do it. You're worth it.