On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby subster58 » Sun May 06, 2012 7:28 am

Ty, love your posts, you keep it real, and I too believe God is helping me thru the WDS, day 7 off, wicked week, but not giving up. So why does your wife want a divorce while your getting off subs etc. If it;s to personal thats ok too. So how long have you been off subs??
Wishing you the best
Tia
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby TexasChemist » Mon May 07, 2012 9:59 am

Hey Sub. :^)
I came back from the woods & am feeling better daily. I struggle w/ some bad allergies & those are giving me issues, but aside from them, things are going much better OFF the BUPE than ON it. I think it had to really be toxic in my system. I wasn't eating much, now I cant eat enough...haha...

Overall, I am way better than before. As for wife, I'm sure she has good reasons...its hard to be there for people when your in an invisible cage that you don't even know is surrounding ones self. I think my cage kept me away & isolated in emotions to a certain extent. I am sure there are other good reasons, & its all ok with me at this point.

I hope all are doing well & hang in there through the WDs (anyone who might be enduring them). It does get better & really even much better than when on that garbage. I really do not think it should be allowed to be taken as a long term medication. I was having some nasty side-effects, yet was blind to them in many ways. Hopefully all will get their sense/feeling back when stopping 100% as well. I still take a small amount of imodium daily, but the Ativan that I was on for a long time, I have been able to now reduce it to a very small amount (less than 1/4 of what i was taking regular), as I do not have the nasty funk that comes with the BUPE. Life is good, & it is time to be human again. Its awesome to get to experience things all over after the initial 10 - 15 days of misery. (& eventhough the worst WDs are all gone, it still can hit me out of the blue, but it nothing like the first week feeling)
The body is fighting hard to get things back. Prayer can help. Best wishes to all & thanks for support given by all during my super-selfish experience of WDs...but well worth it to break that cycle of selfishness that had the meds dictating my life. What a ugly position for anyone to be/live in. Thanks again.
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby SubSucker » Tue May 08, 2012 6:08 pm

Good to hear from you Texas!

I'm sorry about the troubles on the homefront. Things sure do have a way of going to hell when we're using. Somehow, though, it sounds like you're hanging tough and that's good.

Kudos for knocking back the benzo intake too. When I got the Klonopin outta my system I felt like my IQ increased and I also think it was contributing to some depression as well. I hope you're feeling the benefits as well.


Stay positive and treat yourself kindly champ!


-SubSucker
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby TexasChemist » Thu Dec 22, 2016 9:25 pm

Been a long time, but just wanted to check in and say that some amazing things can happen if you beat this crap. I have gone through life changing events and done things nobody would believe..Except those who saw it.
I have researched and found that a contract is made with an entity when one enters into an addiction. It was given to me through research and visions. I actually was at work the other day and a guy came in saying he was hooked on stuff and doin real bad, and I told him to pray to Jesus Christ and I am not kidding, a huge dark grey smoke ball came out of him and headed to the ceiling, it was ultra fast and headed to front door, then turned around and went to dark in back room. I am not making this up and it happened! We were blown away. And I know this is not a religion forum and I'm not trying to make it one, just wanted to say that you may have something powerful within yourself, and we're not picked by accident to come in contact with this drug. Meaning, I think some are picked on more than others, and we are some of them, well I think we all have gifts, and it is up to us to discover what it is that the adversary has been so harsh on on for.
So my point is this:: you really are special, and God (the creator/higher power) has tested you with some stuff, and If you overcome this, you may be amazed at what you can do. This is not to push religion on anyone, just to say that this crap is strong, and if you overcome, some amazing things may be in store for you. I know me and the dude who that happened with are under heavy attack now, so if you pray, please pray for us. His name is Tanner and I am David. If you think I'm crazy, I do too, but I know what happened, and it was unexpected and I want anyone trying to believe that they have gifts and they are someone who is much more than they think they are and to not give up!
Life is crazy itself, and if I can do it, anyone can. Do not give up the fight. Also, beware of Kratom, I took it a while not so long ago and it's withdrawals are almost as bad. Severe hallucinations but not as much pain, but last bout 2 weeks, if you you use it, it can help a TON w pain and WD, but do not stay on it. It has more bizarre WD than BUPE.
Thanks to all who helped me through this year's ago. And if any noobs read this, just believe me... You got something that the evil one wants, and if you overcome, you may do things you never dreamed possible.
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby subster58 » Fri Dec 23, 2016 7:44 pm

Hey Tex, great to hear from you. Are you off everything now (subs). I totally believe your post. JC and I go way back. I believe that anything one does to get off subs is fine with me. Whatever works go for it. Some don't believe and that's ok too. I believe that with the great help I received from SS and GOD got me off of 32mg of subs. I pissed and moaned, complained cried. spiked, used and fought all the way when I got off of subs. so I'm no angel but I am a miracle. We all are, During the year it took me to get off no one ever gave up on me. I gave up on myself but some special people never did and cheered me on. I finally realized that I was just hurting myself and finally listened to people who had got off the evil, soul sucking poison. .

I got kicked out of the other side for using the word ass. I look back now and know it was a blessing as I found SS. Realized this was the place for me. Educated awesome people here. Only a few are left as they moved on. I stopped posting for 2 years as I had a problem with PAWS. Then one day I wanted to check on a few people and felt at home. Now there are a new group of people who have much to offer and give hope that it can be done. Like you said if we can get off subs we can do anything. The hardest thing I have ever done was to get off the subsucker from hell. It takes hard work and dedication. You give inspiration to many people. I fucked up a lot but the main thing was I never gave up, Be proud of yourself,
Peace,
Tia :D
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby Eyedotz » Fri Dec 23, 2016 8:08 pm

Seriously? They kicked you off because you said ass? Oh man, they couldn't handle this place. It's where all the broken rejected suboxone toys go... and I LOVE it!! Merry xmas you guys. Please have a safe and fun filled holiday!
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby subster58 » Fri Dec 30, 2016 8:02 pm

hi , yep they sure kicked me out the mother fuckers, ha ha ha. That's another reason I love SS. You can say what ever you want and no one, or most, do not judge. For me it has been a soft place to land, be honest and say my true feelings. I posted almost everyday while I was detoxing or if I thought I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to use. Someone always came along and helped cheer me on.

Tex, hope you are doing well.

Happy New Year to everyone.
Peace,
Tia :cheers:
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby TexasChemist » Tue Jan 10, 2017 4:58 am

Yes, I got hooked on kratom after being of the BUPES for over a couple years.. I will say that the detox from BUPES is the most painful thing I have ever gone through, and avise Anyone whos Dr says to start on 32mg to get lost. That huge dose just gets you hooked cause of the Half-Life in them, and just not a good idea. The thing to do is go about 8mg a day then taper down soon as you know the other junk is gone. I was on them for a long time, and I tell you it was the scariest detox ever, and the pain was so unreal (jumping off at like 1mg a day, but had been taking for over a year and tapered down), I would shake and sweat and just pass out cause the pain was so bad....I would wake up sweating and gasping for air and just amazed I was still alive. I mean, it was some unreal scary shit that I didn't see anyone else really talking about, so I was really freaked out, but this forum and the support helped me vent and was so kind to me, and helped me through it. And even though I was down to like 1mg a day for a week or so before jumping off, it was BEYOND IMAGINATION ON HOW BAD THAT DETOX WAS AND HOW LONG IT LASTED! NO exaggeration.1 month almost it was I was in the bed, first week solid=TERROR. After the first week it got better, and I could eat a lil and move some, but really was a full 60 days (I think) that it took me to get back to self.
But I have some news for people using KRATOM to help. I had never heard of it back then or I would have tried, just out of desperation, but I was a fool and didn't look deep enough online to find how bad the KRATOM detox would be, so as a manager of a nutrition store, after having so many people come in asking for it, and calling it a miracle all natural pain reliever and described it as Adderall mixed with heroin, and being clean from the BUPES for years, I decided I would try some.... And let me tell you... IT WAS ALL THEY SAID AND MORE for me. So I was blow away. I was hooked quick, and this stuff is good, I mean it is good... And didn't hear anything negative online about it, so I went off on it for almost a year. Got up to like 60g a day (max -like 15g 4x a day), then tapered down to like 5g a day (total) and jumped off.
I have never had such weird WDs in my life. It was the worst panic attacks and sadness I think a person could possibly feel coming off that stuff. So my point in this is NOT to glorify KRATOM, cause I really think it is stronger than BUPES, if the dose is high, a day you keep that 'glow' for hours, but I will tell you, it will probably get you off the BUPES, and won't show on a regular UA, but DO NOT BELIEVE THE LIES OF NO WDs With it. I Couldn't eat or sleep for almost 7 days, I mean unreal severe hallucinations that really sent me to a whole nother world. I'm not joking. That stuff IS NOT SAFE AND VERY ADDICTIVE! It wasn't as painful as the BUPES WDs, but the mentality I was in, and have gone through are sofar beyond BUPES, that I can't even describe. I mean, I used to hear acid trip stories of meeting God and laugh them off, but this stuff will REALLY make It happen. I never experienced anything like it. NOTHING.
So my point is long, but it is a very very honest warning of how bad that crap is and how you will not have ever experienced nothing like it in your life. So... DO NOT USE KRATOM EVER. IT IS THE MOST INSANE THING I HAVE EVER MESSSED WITH AND THE WDs WILL TAKE YOU ON A TRIP NO MAN WOULD WISH ON ANYONE. Do not listen to the lies online of how it is not addictive. It is VERY ADDICTIVE, and will make you want to kill yourself when coming off of. It may sound and seem like a safe alternative to those sorry subs, but I tell you do not get hooked on it. You will wished you were never born. And that may sound like a tall tale, but I am not kidding....I mean, someone has GOT to tell the truth about that stuff. It is a very very hallucigeic detox that no doctors can even offer help for. They say they never heard of it. So this is just a word to the wise... Do not ever decide to pick up KRATOM, not for detox help or just as a free lil pain buster for daily life. And I may sound a little dramatic, but I'm telling you something very valuable, believe me.
Anyway, thanks again for all the support you guys gave me while I freaked out on the BUPE WDs. But also, be so very careful if you use that other 'natural' plant to up you kick with. If you wanna really stay clean, just don't touch nothing but the basics these vets in here tell you is OK to take. Idk how that KRATOM is even still legal, stay away from it plz. Just trust me on this. And once again, no drama intended, but man, idw NOBODY to have to go through that kinda WDs as well as BUPE. Thanks and I hope this helps someone cause I'm really shocked and blessed to be alive after this last battle.
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby subster58 » Sat Jan 14, 2017 8:42 pm

Hi Tex, good to hear from you. When the MD put me on 32mg of sub I made a big mistake of not researching the med. Only when I came to SS did I learn the truth of the evil poison. Took me a year to get off the shit and it was hell. Of course I made many mistakes and did not listen and tried my own way. That didn't work either so I finally took the advise of people who had gotten off. I'm a big wuss and cried, cursed, used, spiked and finally got it through my thick head to do what I was told. I thank GOD that I never knew about Kratom until I came to SS and didn't know where to buy it or I probably would of tried it. I know a lot of people who have tried it on SS.
It's good you put it on your thread so others won't suffer like you did. You'll help a lot of people. Your entire story will help many people too. Detoxing off subs is not for the faint of heart. Hardest thing I've ever done. I was only able to do it for all the great people on SS.
Peace,
Tia
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Re: On day 4 from 4yr hydrocodone+ 2 year buprenorphin

Postby TexasChemist » Tue Jan 24, 2017 7:05 pm

Thanks tia.I do hope my mistakes can help others. I find the only way for me to be the one i want to be is to be filled w love and have my spirit full of the love of a loving and merciful God.
I find that exercise helps a lot for me, but after last experience, it opened a world that idk even existed, nor would i have believed, except that i lived it.... but thats a whole nother story, and ultimately, my conclusion is that the addiction process is a spiritual condition that we go through. And im not preaching by any means, but i do urge all others to at least attempt to make some type of connection spiritually to help one get clean and stay clean.
But what works for one, may not work for all. But if your hooked on this trash, or any trash, it might be worth a try.
:-)
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