HiJoe'swife, is that what you want to be called?? First of all you're not in PAWS yet. You are still detoxing from the subs. Congrats on being off and the slip.. don't worry about it. I slide all over the place, fucked up,used did all the wrong things. I was started at 32mg of subs which is unreal. Yes in April I'll be off subs for 4 years? WOW. Blows me away. You've gotten really good advise from some great people. You're in the right place and I'm glad you found us.
It just takes time and it moves at a snails pace. Just when you think you can't take it for one more second push through it. That's what I finally had to do to not spike. I pissed and moaned and cried all the way.
You're off subs now so that is GREAT even though you feel like shit. It will get better, then suck again and get better. Everyone is different. I got down to a crumb before I stopped. Subs is so powerful and evil you're in the place of still detoxing. And working too. That was something I was unable to do, not by choice but got laid off my nsg job after 23 years at one place. . I also had severe clinical depression and anxiety for years prior to sub detox.
I lived on this site, which saved my ass. I never could of done it alone. Everyone helped me and never judged my fuck ups. You can do it too. You are doing it. If this ole gal can anyone can. I wouldn't worry about PAWS now. You may not get it. Now you just have to be patient with yourself, kind and loving. You're doing all the right things. It just takes time. I used to hate that when I was told, but it is true. We're usually in the space of taking care of others. Now it's our turn to take good care of ourselves. That was hard for me too. Fix the problem then move on o the next problem. Sub detox is the hardest thing I've ever done but well worth it. You're well ahead of the game compared to me.You're off SUBS and that is awesome. So be proud of yourself and keep coming back.
subsucker free 4-30-12
One Hour at a time