a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

"Staying Clean" a place to share how you stay clean or got clean

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Tue Aug 27, 2013 9:46 pm

Thank you all for the encouragement, mynuts, nootlsjr, and Jules your alls words are takin very seriously. The sleep is still some what of an issue but starting to come back very slowly I can get about 5 hours a night but I wake up every 2 hours and walk outside and smoke. Cigarettes are next on my kill list. I'm glad to see that mynuts is doing well on day 28 I don't know about you but if you can make yourself get up and do something it seems like you just feel so much better although it might suck while your doing it. I think I'm gonna get a punching bag and hang it in my basement they are really good for exercise and also when u get that feeling to knock the shit outa something it will always be there. Not that I'm angry but you never know maybe just a tough day or something. Tomorrows 19 days and I couldn't be more excited... :wired:
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Sun Sep 01, 2013 11:04 am

Ok day 23 I think, I have been feeling ok except for the lack of energy but its been getting a little better slowly but surely. My sleep is still elusive but lucky for me someone has giving me trazadone to help. I try not to take it but sometimes I have no choice. I have still been doing the push ups everyday and it does help quite a bit. My appetite has come back 10 fold I eat like a grizzly bear. I still get a little anxiety from time to time but I usually just try and take some deep breaths and try and calm down. I still may go see a doctor about the hole not Being filled but I'm trying to do this on my own. I Wish I could smoke a little weed but with work that's just not gonna happen so I am gonna try and find something else. Good luck all
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby nootlsjr » Sun Sep 01, 2013 9:01 pm

keap up the hard work, its gonna pay off.

I had an idea, when you get anxiety try eating a sucking candy, or gum. I wonder if it will trick the mind into thinking your eating and release soothing chemicals. congrats on your days of suxcess. peace.

[I don't have anxiety anymore to try it, but wish I thought of it to try in the past].
Y ask Y,Y. Y is Y.....
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Sep 02, 2013 8:24 am

Trazadone is non addictive, so don't feel bad about using it...especially the first month or so.
You sound like your doing great...keep it up!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Tue Sep 03, 2013 10:45 am

I guess I need to change the topic name because this is day 25 I can't believe it. I've been reading some of the post on here and I have to say that I have laughed my ass off. I'm not laughing at the pain people have went through but at some of the stuff that was posted from people like Dan. What can I say being sober sucks but it also feels great at the same time knowing that I don't have to wake up every morning and shove that garbage under my tongue to get me through the day. I still have a half of a script left that I gave to my girlfriend and I just laugh when I think about it because when my mind starts to wonder I remember those 10 to 12 days of misery. I will say that the only good thing about the duration of sub withdrawals is that I wil never forget 8 sleepless night, high anxiety, and all that other good stuff that went along with it. I do know that sometimes I have to fake it and try and be happy and it does help a little. If I could give anyone advice it would be to get active no matter how shit you may tell get busy it takes yor mind off of things and also builds your confidence and stamina at least it does for me. Last night I ran wind sprints when I didn't feel like it but afterwards I felt great just give it a chance it does work.
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Sat Sep 07, 2013 9:18 pm

Well today has sucked ass. All I kept thinking about today was feeling better i have felt fine for about 10 days but today it's been sweats and just feeling shitty I hope this will pass cuz I've been really short tempered and usually not this bad my 6 year old has got the worst of it and that really makes me feel even worst. I've just been really distant it's kind of feels like the subs last chance to fight back. It's not gonna win but man it makes you think sometimes if it will ever end. At least football season starts tomorrow maybe that will keep me busy god knows I need something to slow my mind down. This has been one of the biggest mind fucks I've ever hard to deal with. Just when u think your in the clear BAM it hits like a ton of bricks. Oh we'll just keep pushing on... :twisted:
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Sat Sep 07, 2013 10:49 pm

Congrulations for one month sub free!
Your absolutely right...it's subs last ditch effort to get you back. Your really lucky that your last ten days have been good. Just push thru...bank days. After six weeks, things will even out more.
I totally relate to the "distant" thing. I get that way too.
Many people in recovery turn to yoga to full the void caused by sub.
Your doing great!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Wed Sep 11, 2013 8:21 am

Hey Gary...how you doing today?
You DO need to change your thread title. To..." My first 1000 days" or something.lol
It's funny you mentioned being sweaty...me too lately. I'm always hot or cold...no in between.
Hope your doing better today!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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A month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Wed Sep 11, 2013 4:27 pm

What's up Jules thanks for checking on me. I felt pretty good the last couple of days. It was really just that one day it really sucked but everything else except sleep is good. It's 95 degrees here today with high humidity so I have no choice but to sweat. Lol. I was in Canada the last fees days can't use my phone there so no posting. I hope u r well. I've been reading screwy red heads post I'm about 10 behind her feel bad for her tooth that suck. I'll be in touch
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby cheeps » Wed Sep 11, 2013 10:35 pm

Dan is an inspiration and one funny dude!! Keep kicking sub's ass Gary!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby Justjules13 » Thu Sep 12, 2013 3:48 am

Cool thread heading, Gary...
Hope you have a cooler day today.
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby jandrews » Thu Sep 12, 2013 2:26 pm

This is a very inspiring thread for all of us who continue to struggle, or know those who do. Thanks for posting.
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Thu Sep 12, 2013 10:32 pm

I hope this is inspirational if it helps 1 person then that would be great. I went from Oxys to methadone then subs and the dr. Said your gonna be on this forever and I just want people to know that's not the case. I can't tell u how relieved I am not having to deal with those sketchy people and looking for drugs it can be done. And to all those struggling with things just know that there are brighter days ahead if u want there to be, they all aren't bright but there are all not gloomy either.
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Sat Sep 14, 2013 5:51 pm

Well I did it now. I went and joined a gym, membership for a year. And to think this whole time I thought I was allergic to weights. So my smart ass went with my best friend who is a power lifter and work out legs, so today I can't walk. I know I'm being a big sissy but I'm sore as shit. But I must say its better than being pill sick at least it's benifical.
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby cheeps » Sat Sep 14, 2013 7:23 pm

hatethisstuff wrote:Well I did it now. I went and joined a gym, membership for a year. And to think this whole time I thought I was allergic to weights. So my smart ass went with my best friend who is a power lifter and work out legs, so today I can't walk. I know I'm being a big sissy but I'm sore as shit. But I must say its better than being pill sick at least it's benifical.


Good for you.....I know it will help you and you'll come away with some nice arms.....I love me some nice arms!
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Sep 16, 2013 8:40 pm

Hi Gary,
Saw your post on another thread and just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. Your a inspiration to others and really know what to say. Your damn right, sub is a marathon not a sprint.
Hope your feeling better daily.
How's the gym going? Don't over do it. Do they have a jacuzzi or sauna? I lived in my friends jacuzzi after a jump. It really helped the sore muscles.
Ok...keep up the great work!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Tue Sep 17, 2013 3:19 pm

Thanks Jules although I must say u have been a huge inspiration for me I mean 5 times I don't think I would have it in me. Just knowing that there r people like u out there looking out for other people giving advise. I remember 1 month ago the encouragement u gave me helped a lot. And yes I'm sore from the gym but its a good kind of sore. ;)
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Fri Sep 20, 2013 8:33 pm

What's up everybody I hope all is well. I'm here at work and just thought I would post. Well it's raining like hell, I'm soaking wet but guess what I'm drug free. Still going to the gym and to be honest I haven't felt this great I 15 years. I'm getting a little more sleep about 6.5 to 7 hours a night. Jules you was dead on 6 weeks the sleep starts getting better. I hope u are doing good I see u posting quite a bit so I hope that's a god sign gotta go
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby Justjules13 » Fri Sep 20, 2013 9:11 pm

Hi Gary,
I still have a odd sleepless night and some body temp issues, but that's about it.
Glad to hear your doing good and working out.
I swear, knowing that the WD from sub is 6 weeks will keep me from ever putting that nasty stuff in my mouth.
Can you believe it's cold and rainy here now too? Uggh, I'm not ready for summer to be over!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Tue Oct 01, 2013 2:36 pm

What's up everyone? We'll it's been close to two months now and I feel good. I'm still going to the gym and to tell the truth I'm starting to enjoy it. I'm not doing any light workouts I'm doing heavy lifting I'm trying to put on about 20 pounds or so. I've been eating healthier and what a diffrence that makes. I hope everyone is doing well and don't ever give up the fight.
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