a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

"Staying Clean" a place to share how you stay clean or got clean

a month and beyond (uncharted waters)

Postby hatethisstuff » Fri Aug 16, 2013 5:35 pm

Ok so it's been 7 days since my last dose of 2mgs. It's been a roller coaster the first 2 days wasn't that bad for me just crawly skin, chills,sweats. The third day my anxiety was through the roof so I made a dr appt and she gave me clonidine which really helped but it makes me feel sluggish. The 4 day was great i got up and did things around the house. Day 5 was ok kind of emotional but made it through. Days 6 and 7 are what I like to call my lazy as hell days where I've done jack shit. By the way my name is gary and this is my first jump and I am going to impose my will on this nasty drug. The biggest problem for me is the insomnia it's been 7 days and 6 nights of no sleep the nights are long without sleep. To anyone thinking of making this move just plan for the worst and hope for the best I would've never thought I'd made it this far it truly is one day at a time actually for me it's one day and one night at a time.
Last edited by hatethisstuff on Wed Sep 11, 2013 6:39 pm, edited 2 times in total.
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Sat Aug 17, 2013 5:39 am

Hi Gary,
Days 9-13 have always been the worst days for me. (jumped five times) You just get SO tired of not feeling better and question if you'll ever feel better by days 9-13. But it starts to get better after that. I think that anyone prepairing to jump should expect to feel shitty for at least three weeks..maybe a month. It's a long process..
Keep us updated on your process...especially the dreaded days 9-13.. Lol
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Sat Aug 17, 2013 1:19 pm

Hey Jules I was just wondering, u said 9-13 were the worst was it like anxiety or something or was it emotional or physical because I can tell u, for me day 8 has been a little hard to deal with.
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Sat Aug 17, 2013 4:36 pm

It was mostly emotional...overwhelmed by how long the day seemed and just not being able to relax or get comfortable. Feeling beaten down and not getting any sleep or relaxation. I had severe anxiety and was afraid to leave the house. I made it the fifth attempt and I think the Nerontin I took for three weeks really helped.
Clonidine made me feel worse...I could barely lift my arm it felt so heavy. Lopermide really helped me too.
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Sun Aug 18, 2013 2:34 pm

Thanks Jules now I know what I got to look forward to. Well day 9 here and I feel pretty good because I had some sleep last night a freind gave me some trazadone and I was skeptical at first but I took it at 3 am and it took a while but it put me out off and on for about 8 hours its amazing what sleep can do for you. I haven't been outside today but I'm going to. I've been riding my bike everyday not very far or not very fast but it feels great to be outside. I also wanted to ask you, when did your sleep start returning. I'm supposed to go back to work tomorrow but I'm gonna take a few more days off. The clonidine does help but it also weighs me down, but I found that if I get up and take a walk or something it wears off a little not as heavy. :D
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Sun Aug 18, 2013 4:49 pm

It took me quite a long time to get back to fairly normal sleep...over two months, but, I was on daily opiates for over 25 yrs. I think yours will return sooner. Use the Trazadone. I used 100mg but then dropped down to 50mg. I only use melatonin and valerian now.
Your doing fantastic...I'm sure the daily exsersize really is helping..keep it up :thumbup:
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Sun Aug 18, 2013 5:08 pm

I can't explain it sometimes I just wanna ride my bike until my legs fall off. It puts me at ease a bit. I only have 3 tradozones left but even if l only get a little sleep it's worth it. You have been a big help I hope when I get over the worst parts I can help someone out like you have helped me.
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 5:37 am

Awwwww, your sweet!
The more you exercise the better. That "runners high" thing is a burst of endorphins that really help you in WD. You'll get back to "normal" much faster than someone who just lays around and feels lousy.
We need people around here like you to encourage the massive amount of people who are trying to get off sub.
Keep up the good work!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Mon Aug 19, 2013 3:08 pm

Day 10, it's been ok today so far I took my Harley out for the 1st time in weeks, and it felt good to have the wind in my face. When I got home I had to jump on my bicycle and go for a little ride. Today Is the first day that I'm getting these cravings to use something, but I can tell that u just have to keep pushing back. I think the key focacr me is sleep and just staying busy. I don't think I'm ready to go back to work yet because I drive a tractor trailer and I wanna be as safe as I possibly can. I will let u know what tomorrow brings
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Aug 19, 2013 4:57 pm

Great...I think you will see some positive changes after week two!
Your kicking subs butt!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Tue Aug 20, 2013 2:31 pm

Ah day 11 I thought I would never see it but it's here and I'm proud. I still feel like I'm in a small funk but I can tell that my body and mind are getting stronger each day I know I'm not out of the woods yet but I think I can see some daylight up ahead. I can tell you one thing I'm not very creative so I gonna end this post maybe tomorrow I will have more to say :gaah:
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:02 pm

Hey hon...it's all good after week two...
I found my worst days were 9-13, but then I saw improvement.
Your going great!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:59 pm

I feel ok, every once in a while I get a overwhelming feeling like I'm missing something in my day. The worst part for me is I'm just so lazy. Thanks for the encouragement
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Wed Aug 21, 2013 7:39 pm

Well day 12 is almost over I'm still at work tired as hell. This energy thing sucks but oh we'll its all worth it in the end. I always wondered why people say that sobriety sucks but wouldn't trade it for nothing.[quote I'm not proud of my past but I'm not ashamed of it either...][/quote]
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:59 am

Your gonna feel a lot better in one week. Keep pushing thru and banking days. I don't even know how many weeks I have clean...and that feels wonderful. Soon you'll lose track too.
Keep on keeping on!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Thu Aug 22, 2013 9:12 pm

Well day 13 has pretty much came and gone. I had to work like 10 hours but I think it felt closer to 40. I can say though that I had these moments of clarity that I haven't had in 10 years I think my brain is waking from its drug slumber. These moments would come and go like a tease but the were awesome. I'm still so sluggish and tired throughout the day but you just have to face the fact that its gonna be like this for a while so I say just suck it up and grind it the f@#k out. Your mind is a lot more powerful than u think even if u are feeling weak your mind can stay strong. Sleep is still an issue but I know in time that will pass also. Also this site is the shit I don't know,if I never would've stumbled on it I'm not sure i would've had the courage to pull the rip cord. Mostly thank you Jules I remember you saying it took you 5 times to so it i think that shows a lot of heart because you never gave up. I know that a lot of people will read this and say that he's being a little premature because its only been 13 days but I will never turn back. The only good thing about this process lasting so long is I will never forget it, I'm gonna own it. When I think that I'm having a rough time I try and think about a POW in the Vietnam war and the shit they wemt through. So from this minute forward I'm gonna live my life drug free and try and be as happy as I can. So thank you everyone for your story's they really do give people hope.
;)
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby hatethisstuff » Mon Aug 26, 2013 8:41 am

Day 17 here and I can say that my head feels a lot clearer. I get this empty feeling from time to time but when that hits I get down and do push ups it gets your mind off of it for a bit. My energy is still hit and miss seems like I get tired easily but I don't have a choice I have to work to pay the bills, such is life. Again I know I said this many times but this site is one of the many things to help me through this crazy adventure. I couldn't have done it without this place. I'm gonna keep posting not everyday but from time to time if anyone is having troubles I am willing to chat because it really does help. I'm not an expert but I am an addict and maybe I can give a little insight on what has helped me through.
hatethisstuff
 
Posts: 66
Joined: Thu Mar 14, 2013 7:28 am

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby mynuts » Mon Aug 26, 2013 11:56 am

I totally relate, man. I'm on day 28 feeling pretty steady through out the day. I started working out last week which has been beneficial towards my energy level and confidence. Yeah but until last week, energy was coming and going, mostly going though. I started forcing myself to go out even though all I wanted was to chill out on the couch and surely enough, little by very little, I feel good. But give yourself a break, at day 17 you are still convalescing. Stay well!
User avatar
mynuts
 
Posts: 269
Joined: Sun May 08, 2011 9:15 pm

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby nootlsjr » Mon Aug 26, 2013 1:51 pm

I had close to the same mindset when I jumped. reality starting coming back at 2 to 4 weeks. I was on sub/h for so long that I had an epiphany around day 35. it felt like I was young and my scensce's where new. it sounds like your headed down the same path. the intensity of it comes from how fucked our brains are, but it will feel good eitherway. that was my first comforting feeling of suxcess. your close and one tough determined dude. keap up the right mindset. congrats on your days clean, peace.
Y ask Y,Y. Y is Y.....
nootlsjr
 
Posts: 2417
Joined: Mon Mar 14, 2011 11:33 pm

Re: My first 7 days!!!

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Aug 26, 2013 2:17 pm

Hi Gary,
I really started to feel better around day 20, and most of my physical symptoms were gone by then.
Are you sleeping ok?
I can relate to that "empty" feeling. Part of who we were was being a addict...and now that's gone. Lots of people go from one addiction to another because of that empty feeling. Alcohol seems to be at the top of the list. Try to replace that empty feeling with something else. Even checking in here daily as a new "addiction". At least it's a good one!
Your doing fantastic!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Next

Return to Staying Clean

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest