Freedom From Fear

Please post, share, or read your personal story here

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Sat Apr 09, 2011 1:04 pm

Yeah, I know you are not pissed off. I'm just insecure enough to be paranoid about it; and the lack of sub just magnifies that insecurity. I'm usually pretty secure, a 180 degree position from when I was younger, combined with debilitating selfconciousness, and conviction, that I was born too flawed to be as good as anyone else.
Hair loss is a supportive, and perhaps it's really great tangenential evidence, in the fight against the nightmare of Suboxone. I don't know that it would be, a viable, winnable case on its own. But I'm not a lawyer. I'm certainly supportive of whomever is undertaking the case to an attorney, and hopefully a jury. A possible win, a hung jury, or even a loss, could only help us. A statement will have been made. Three attorneys have called me since last night due to my inquiries. I politely told them I didn't think it was in their best interest to undertake the case. They have far too high a profile, and a high profile might be in our very worst intrests right now. We ain't in it for the publicity at this point. My debatable thought, is a public profile is to be avoided at all costs, for now. A grass roots movement later, will be invaluable. We surely don't want to tip our hand too early. There are going to be a couple of huge law firms representing the defendant. They are probobly preparing for this already, billing millions of dollars in preemptive legal fees. As I hope you understand, and feel too, our main thrust should, and should always be, to prevent other people from suffering the as we have suffered, and to some extent, shall continue to suffer. Whatever else happens with a case, is only gravy. Brit48
Last edited by Brit48 on Sat Apr 09, 2011 1:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby xenofears » Sat Apr 09, 2011 1:11 pm

Brit48 wrote:Our main thrust should, and always be, to prevent other people from suffering the experiences what we suffered, and and will continue to suffer with. Whatever else happens is gravy. Brit48


Yes, agreed.

I wish I had a doctor monitoring my Sub w/d, to have it all on paper.. well I had a shrink but she wasn't a Sub doc..
Sub free 3 years. Klonopin free 1 year. 100% drug free. Feeling somewhat ok. :thumbup:
User avatar
xenofears
Member
 
Posts: 1997
Joined: Wed Feb 16, 2011 8:59 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby alley » Sat Apr 09, 2011 2:25 pm

what the fuck good would it do for a sub quack to monitor you deotx. only make he want to increase the price to watch.

britt. you said it so well. i was so different before sub. now I am a scared kid. always feeling left out, not part of anything. I had it good before dope for sure. was in school and doing great. now cant answer the phone without fear, feeling like everyone is talking about me behind my back. prob half of that is true. but I blame it all on sub. cant wait till I am me agian.
alley
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby So Cal » Sat Apr 09, 2011 5:09 pm

hell,,im on sub still! goin on 8 yrs and gonna have to have ALL my teeth removed!,,the ones that aint fallin out all by thereselves!
So Cal
Local Fixture
 
Posts: 1533
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:08 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Sat Apr 09, 2011 8:37 pm

So Cal, alley, Xeno Fears, and anyone else I've missed;
Please start jounaling now, your histories included, if you haven't already. That goes for everyone else who is capable. I wonder:Will female journalists will carry more weight, just because women tend to be better and more faithful at journaling? It only has to be done when the orange spirit does, or doesn't, inspire you. My post, is my journal. Your journals will be invaluable later. Just like Ratch's posts are a fucking knockout! Best, Britt48
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby ratch » Sun Apr 10, 2011 2:47 pm

Well I appreciate the honorable mention. A Class action has been discussed so many times but it never goes anywhere.. so please excuse my skeptisism, plus the fun really doesnt begin until after you actually jump. Then you are more likely to be thinking about buying a shotgun or a few grenades rather than calling a lawyer. I still have access to hundreds of public jump posts at our old site, so if by chance things do get rolling .. theres plenty of evidence... But like I said, pardon my skeptisism until there is a formalized LOR.

Ratch
User avatar
ratch
Administrator
 
Posts: 1372
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 6:53 pm
Highscores: 1

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby So Cal » Sun Apr 10, 2011 3:53 pm

my journal ,,that started yrs ago is the link at the bottom of my posts,,i was thinkin on tryin to find someone to write a story with it and make a few bucks!
Tattoo Tommy
So Cal
Local Fixture
 
Posts: 1533
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:08 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Sun Apr 10, 2011 11:01 pm

Ratch, i'm skeptical too. So I'm glad you are too. But I'm going to have a look into it. Thanks again. Down to .25mg and feeling fine. I'm gonna stay there awhile. Best, Brit
Last edited by Brit48 on Mon Apr 11, 2011 1:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby alley » Mon Apr 11, 2011 10:21 am

Britt... you want story after story of females/males detoxing off sub just go to http://www.heroin-detox.com/ they have so many stories there it will make your head spin. Yet not a class action suit yet.. many talk about it but seems once they do get off they just want it behind them.. also many cant afford to come out of the closet so to speak with thier addiction.

But if you get one started I surely will join in. I couldnt get off of it with a slow detox/ jump or anyway. I had to switch to morphine and planning another mode of treatment
alley
 
Posts: 35
Joined: Tue Mar 08, 2011 10:16 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby So Cal » Mon Apr 11, 2011 11:29 am

might be some good stories,,,but some fucked up people too!,,i hate that site!
TT
So Cal
Local Fixture
 
Posts: 1533
Joined: Wed Jan 26, 2011 6:08 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Tue Apr 19, 2011 6:30 am

Sanity arrives when you stop wishing for a better past. Britt48
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby celticpride4Life » Wed Apr 20, 2011 1:41 am

Brit48 wrote:Sanity arrives when you stop wishing for a better past. Britt48


Welp...I'm fucked!


On a serious note, how are you feeling?
User avatar
celticpride4Life
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1425
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:35 pm

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Wed Apr 20, 2011 3:05 am

Wide awake at 3 in the morning. Other than that OK. No depression, just some anxiety about not being able to sleep. Down to .125 mg. This is pretty nasty. 200mg of Seroquel knocks me down. But I have been cutting the pills in half, so a 100 mg is not enough. Cant see my Dr. until a week from now becuase of the Jewish holidays for chrissake. I'm going to have to talk to my RPH, he will see me through. Fuck this!!
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby celticpride4Life » Wed Apr 20, 2011 5:06 am

EeeeeeeK! You jinxed me! It's 3:05 am and I can't sleep! :shock:
User avatar
celticpride4Life
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1425
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:35 pm

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Thu Apr 21, 2011 8:10 am

Hey CP! I don't get your private message. I'm confused. There are no apologies needed. Apologies for what? I hung myself out there. Whatever comes my way, is whatever comes my way. It's all good. (If I may be camp.) Get it? Best, Brit48
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:09 am

Please just read the new section: To my mother. I sent this whole thing to my 82 year old mom. Obviously she is pretty cool. Brit48
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Wed Apr 27, 2011 8:32 am

Well, I'm down to .0625 mg for 5 or 6 days now. I can't accurately judge how I feel. Still manic, but not as bad as before. I will go down to .0325 mg in a few days. Sleep issues continue. Thank God for sleep meds. I could drive on 200 mg of Seroquel, and it's $11 a pill: and I thought Sub was the expense. My soul mate has Ambien. They give her awful nightmares, so she doesn't take them unless she is exhausted. Sometimes she starts shouting out in her sleep, and I have to wake her up and hold her. I've been taking one of her Ambien every few days, instead of the Seroquel. They are good for about 4 hours of sleep. Not enough. I have a few 10 mg Valium left. I take 5 mg in the morning. it helps with the anxiety, but does nothing to slow me down. I'm pretty sure it has little theraputic effect, but psycologically makes a difference, not good, in fact, fucking nuts. I used to take 30 to 50 mg all the time and walk around, doing whatever I had to do; driving included. I know where to get Zanax but I'm not tempted at all. I did Zanax withdrawl years ago, and I'll never do that again; I had seizures from the withdrawl. I also had a seizure or two from Librium back in the seventies. My friend 'D' recently went to his son's wedding in TX, got back and found out his other son, or his girlfriend, stole 5 or 6 of his Sub 8 mg for chrissake, and he can't raise his shrink. I had enough to give hime 16 mg, and now I have one 2 mg tablet left. That's all, and I don't want anymore. I am so close to the end, I can't even think about going back. Scary as hell though. I took .0625 mg about 15 minutes ago by the water method, with a syringe calibrated to 100 ml, so the math is pretty easy, therefore, it is an accurate dose. I can't believe how I go from ok, to better than ok, on that small an amount, in such a short a time. I am also on Paxil. I don't think it does anything; but this is not the time to stop taking it. Jesus, what a mess! I used to smoke less than a pack of cigarettes a day, now up to at least a pack and a half. Thank God for work. I have to fully concentrate to do it right, no skating, or slacking, allowed. I report to the president of the company, so I have to be on my toes, it's a good thing he likes me. The best thing about it is, I don't have to think about me while I'm there. I am afraid, and feel alone otherwise. The unconciousness of sleep is wonderful. Posting is hard. My mind flits all over the place, and I have trouble being congent, and making sense. Whatever it takes, I'll be back. Later! Best. Brit48
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby celticpride4Life » Wed Apr 27, 2011 10:58 pm

Thanks for the update Brit...Your FUCKED! Just kidding :D I take that garbage ass Paxil too and it does not do shit for me either. I'm tapering it now. Keep on doing your thing bro, your getting it done.
User avatar
celticpride4Life
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1425
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:35 pm

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby celticpride4Life » Thu Apr 28, 2011 12:07 am

Brit48 wrote:Hey CP! I don't get your private message. I'm confused. There are no apologies needed. Apologies for what? I hung myself out there. Whatever comes my way, is whatever comes my way. It's all good. (If I may be camp.) Get it? Best, Brit48


The apology was for my rude behavior early on in your first post. Your initial post confused me and I should have been more polite in asking for you to explain it so I could understand. No worries.
User avatar
celticpride4Life
Senior Member
 
Posts: 1425
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 9:35 pm

Re: Freedom From Fear

Postby Brit48 » Thu Apr 28, 2011 8:08 am

No problem CP. I read my post again, and realize how much more manic I was, just that short while ago. It's awfully long, and I coulda, shoulda, left some of it out. Especially some of my opinions on addicts and addiction, and stupid philosophical ramblings. But, for those in the future who wish to read it, there is a lesson there: How fucked up you can be while detoxing. I've got plenty of other drama in my life, like most addicts often have. We sure have knack for fucking a lot of things up simutaneously. Well at any rate, thank you for letting me know what you meant and, meant no harm. Thank you, it was nice of you to respond and help me understand you. Your FUCKED too! It's comforting to know we are fucked together. We could be Ratch, the lone, lost trooper, when he first began to realize we needed a proper forum to allow us to join together, and get through this fucking nightmare in unison. Best. Brit48
Brit48
 
Posts: 37
Joined: Mon Feb 14, 2011 9:54 am

PreviousNext

Return to Personal Stories

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest