Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

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Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Onanewday » Mon Aug 01, 2016 3:34 pm

I'm on day 25 off of suboxone cold turkey. Let's say 12mgs aday. I was on subs successfully for 19months. At 15months I lost my insurance and was paying out of pocket for my scripts and sub doc visits... $400 to $700 amonth ( sorry my addition habit never was this much, i was in the pain clininc and my doc gave me my pills and my insurance paid for them) my sub doc worked some stuff around to help with the cost...he found me a coupon for my script but I had to change pharmacies. The coupon helped alot but I was picking a few strips up a week. July 8. I took 8mg., we were getting ready to go out of town for a few days, I call the pharmacy to pick up my weekly amount. Pharmacy said I had to wait another day. The only reason he gave me was pharmacy decreption. I was so upset...I felt like I was back when I was an addict..I said NO MORE!!! First I prayed to God, "Lord I need you now to get me through this. I know u can do miracles and I know you will on me"..then I went to my husband, I told him what was going on and told him I'm done with this life...I told him to get me a few things from the store...immodium, high protein boost, and magnesium. I was already on an anti depressant and gabapentin...I had pain releviers also. The first few days (while out of town at a friends) were not to bad...I did smoke some weed for those days. (Never had a prob with weed...don't even really like it) The first 5 days I was wide awake. I wasn't tired just awake...I started wondering how long a person can go without sleep. Day 5 @230 am I started to have muscle spasms, so violently my husband was so scared. He didn't know what to do...I tried different things, nothing worked. I took a gabapentin (prescribed 2 aday, never took more than that until that night)and with 20 mins I was fine and ready for bed. Day 6 I took 2 valerian root at bedtime..2 for a few days the 1 for a couple then none. Mean while I'm drinking 3 boost aday even though I had no appetite or hungry. I knew I needed to nutrition to heal. And 3 immodiums aday...day 8 and 9 I threw my hubby a surpise birthday party. It was hard, I had no energy or motivation...I had to sit down alot bc I couldn't breathe and I was dizzy and tired...I can't believe how hard everyday task are during all of this....I felt like I just ran a marathon. He loved it and had no clue...he was thankful bc he knew I didn't feel good and I pushed myself for him. The weekend after that we went camping...I didn't even want to think about that task. But I did it...did I mention that it was the hottest weekend this summer with heat advisors...IN A TENT for 3 days....I did it...it wasnt great but wasn't bad. Ok so now I have been able to sleep most nights, I don't hurt and I don't really get hot flashes or cold sweats...I havent even needed a pain reliever , ( i messed my body up so bad, what works on other throws my into restless legs vomiting and sleepy....all before the withdrawls...I cant imagine what it would do if i were to take it for withdrawls.) I am doing ok my main issue, which I knew would be the hardest for me is my mind fuckery. I have always been a busy active person, (which is why my addiction took off ) I can't right now, I have no energy or motivation...I know there is a pill that will get me up and moving...I don't want a pill...when you go on suboxon here you have to do some intense learning with an addiction counselor. I learned so much about addicts. I know we have no control, that the drugs control everything. I learned so much about myself and I learned coping skills...I am using those on a daily base sometimes minute by minute. I was on 33 tramadols a day. Addiction runs in my family. I tried my hardest to stay away from anything that would put me where I am today....11 1/2 years ago my doc looked me and my husband in the face and said " this is non habit forming, you will not become addicted to this...this is something u can take 6to8 aday." 19 months ago I saw my life heading for heiron...I saw the streets and I saw the lifestyle to hold on to my addiction.. I tried everything to get off, I could only go 1 to 2 days. When I got on subs I was so mad! Mad at myself, mad at that damn doc, and mad that I was in this position...I thought I knew better, I thought Im not gonna be an addict when I grow up. Subs help me. I was able to heal and learn new ways and understand that it doesn't have to be oxys or this or that for your mind to love something so bad u may sell ur soul. I'm not mad for being on subs (well a little bc I guess I shouldn't have been on this long). I not mad that I had to come off the way that I did. I'm on day 25 and that is 25 more days than I ever had...it isnt easy but it isnt as bad as some posts...I knew on July 8th I was gonna have the biggest fight I have ever had and I needed to be ready to fight till the end. My end isnt here yet and i go in waves sometimes by the hour but i feel better today then yesterday and i know tomorrow will be better than today. Subs are not like any other narcotic...1 weeks and u will feel better...no u don't even get the withdrawls until then end of 1st week.my husband and I know we r in for a long fight...but a fight is what I'm gonna give...subs will not win...I'm stronger and smarter today...I didn't want to shard my recovery but all the post I was reading to my husband, I kept waiting for the worst day of my life...day 8 day 10 day 15...it never came...my husband said I needed to write this...to encourage others. Was I scared shit less when I realized I had to go cold turkey u bet...but I was tired of that life so I made a game plan I was prepared for the worst...I know it is scary and addicts want instant graditifation. I have found, driving with all the windows down blaring ur fav music gives off the best high...a high like nothing u will get on drugs...I have so many emotions now...I thought I loved my kids and husband, sober love is like no other. A sober life is like no other...IM not gonna lie some days are harder that others...but I'm on day 25...sober! If anyone is looking to get off know that it is possible. And it doesn't have to be a horror story. I'm writing this so to encourage others...Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Him who gives me strenght!
Last edited by Onanewday on Sun Aug 07, 2016 1:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: 25 days

Postby Subblind » Mon Aug 01, 2016 4:12 pm

Fucking good for you lady...thanks for the words of encouragement,we really need that around here!!
Be very proud of yourself,hope to hear more from you...thanks again SB
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Re: 25 days

Postby Eyedotz » Mon Aug 01, 2016 5:02 pm

Congratulations!!! It is a huge accomplishment to make it 25 days! I am over 4 months sub free and i feel pretty fabulous. I did a long slow taper. To jump off ct ....now that takes some serious guts. Really. I'm really glad you found us here and I hope you'll stick around throughout your process!

Good f'n job!
-dotz
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
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Re: 25 days

Postby ycarie » Mon Aug 01, 2016 11:52 pm

I agree, jumping off like you did takes courage, and you my friend have it. We have the same jump date! That's pretty rad. You have the right mindset too, which can make this whole experience have a very special significance in your life, as would a trial or tribulation and you conquered what many fear.

-C
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Re: 25 days

Postby cheeps » Tue Aug 02, 2016 12:12 pm

Fan fucking tastic! I love your story. I love your determination to get your life back!! 8-) 8-) how cool is that!!

I want you to edit your thread title to say,

Jumped from 8-16mgs!! 25 days and counting!

If you can't do it, I'd be glad too!! Like subblind said....we need the better outcomes posted here! And a big, BIG, Thank you! to your hubby for asking you to share here!! :cheers: :cheers:

You will feel many ups and downs for several months.....jus get up and push sweetie!! Going camping?? :lol: :lol: AWESOME!!

You are just a few days away from a month.....seriously kudos to you and your hubby.....you are kicking ASS and telling sub and Freddy the fucker to KISSoFF!! :thumbup: :thumbup: :cheers2:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: 25 days

Postby Onanewday » Sun Aug 07, 2016 1:02 pm

Thank you everyone for your encouraging words...sometimes I have to remind myself of the accomplishments I have made....today is day 30...30 days off of subs...I can't say I feel wonderful yet but I can say I AM FEELING..I feel the wind on my skin..I feel joy when my kids laugh...I thought I was feeling while on drugs but I was so wrong...life is good...every once in awhile I'll feel a withdrawl symptom come on but it never is bad to hold me down...I am at day 30 and was hoping to wake up today and be over the wave ride but my addiction decided I was gonna have some stomach issues...I can't beileve the hold subs has on a person...so many times I wanted to just take something to get through the moments...but I fight and say "look where u are today..look what u have been through...u are almost there and u are better today than yesterday"...words I say sometimes every min sometimes just every other day. I am excited to have lost almost 35lbs...my nails and skin look great...and that makes any women start to feel better about them self. I really wish my motivation and desires would come back...then I will be great...I need and want to do more than just sit for hours wasting my life away...I want more...
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Subblind » Sun Aug 07, 2016 7:28 pm

Your awesome!!!30'days is a WHOLE fucking month away from this shit....congratulations young lady,you are totally in control of your life...how fucking cool is that???the shit your going through now is typical and you will continue to get further and further away from that kind of shit.cheeps usually give out the stupid bananas but I'm beating her to it
:banana: :shred: you are cool
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby cheeps » Sun Aug 07, 2016 9:50 pm

Here's a freaking monkster banana.....ya get on every 30 days!! You deserve the big guy!

Image
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Subblind » Mon Aug 08, 2016 8:33 am

Is it just me,or does that silly ass banana look like an air humping Jay Leno...??
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Onanewday » Tue Aug 09, 2016 1:21 pm

Cheeps...I have a question..I'm on day 32 and I am so tired and achie and no motivation. ..I have to say the first 20 days I could handle but now I am desperate to get on with my life...I need to function...do u have any advice to move this along faster...I have tried 5htp and t-l...and it makes me really tired and brain zaps..I am getting out and walking but that made me feel worse...
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Eyedotz » Tue Aug 09, 2016 9:34 pm

Hey,
All you need is time. It will get better...I felt pretty good the first month and then it slowed down for a while. I had a good month of feeling 'blah' and being really bored and unmotivated but I stayed with my exercise routine. Once I hit 2.5 months I started the incline back to more energy....this is only a phase. I am now a little under 5 months and my energy level is what 'I' consider a normal person to have.

Things that helped me enormously with energy are 5 hour energy shots...long daily walks/runs with my headphones...I promise you....you will get there.

You are doing great chick!
~dotz
Eyedotz Spotify playlist (EDM Detox Mix)
https://open.spotify.com/user/eyedotz/p ... luHItCVAiQ
13 Year Sub survivor - Jumped at .03mg after 9 month taper from 4-6mg.
JUMP DATE MARCH 18th, 2016

Forgive yourself for not knowing what you didn't know before you learned it.
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Onanewday » Sat Aug 20, 2016 1:05 pm

Day 43...everyday gets easier...I have been able to do a few things but still have no ambition to do the things I use to like...but hell, 43 days off of the Devils drugs...thank you all for the advice...I'm doing it!
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby cheeps » Sun Aug 21, 2016 7:14 am

Onanewday wrote:Day 43...everyday gets easier...I have been able to do a few things but still have no ambition to do the things I use to like...but hell, 43 days off of the Devils drugs...thank you all for the advice...I'm doing it!




Congratulations!! You are doing it and can consider yourself on "the other side", a damn fine place to be!!

You'll continue to have ups and downs.....be gentle with yourself...you've done a very hard thing....a life changer. Your inner strength is good and give yourself Big BIG props! :cheers2:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: Jump from 12-8mgs, 25 days and counting

Postby Subblind » Mon Sep 05, 2016 1:51 pm

How you making out.?.?.?
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