Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

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Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby My_Distraction » Thu May 12, 2016 5:03 pm

:cheers-smashed:
Last edited by My_Distraction on Tue May 17, 2016 3:33 pm, edited 3 times in total.
Riiiiight
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You so crazy, girl.

Postby My_Distraction » Thu May 12, 2016 5:20 pm

:suicide2:
Last edited by My_Distraction on Tue May 17, 2016 3:34 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Beautiful Disaster

Postby My_Distraction » Thu May 12, 2016 7:00 pm

:twisted:
Last edited by My_Distraction on Tue May 17, 2016 3:35 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Give me one Reason

Postby My_Distraction » Thu May 12, 2016 7:15 pm

:suicide:
Last edited by My_Distraction on Tue May 17, 2016 3:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby subspouse » Fri May 13, 2016 7:38 am

well busy girl...i think you have found the place you need. all you speak rings true...everyone here knows it does it or did it.......twice. i stay to support the spouse,partner, the ultimate enabeler. i was one and no one can understand what we do/did do. so keep it up do what you need to do.
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Re: Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby southerngirl » Fri May 13, 2016 8:02 am

Yes. Everything you say........just - yes.

Chaos is more than just a theory. It is our reality.

SG
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Re: Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby cheeps » Fri May 13, 2016 4:14 pm

The three of you are our sub spouses. Until I can add a family and friends forum for you, personal stories is your temporary home.

There is no fucking denial here. Hopefully peeps can find comfort in reading your stories. Hopefully You all can find validation and temporary respite when you come here.

I can copy your threads and move them here, leaving a shadow copy in the existing forum. If you would like that, let me know.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back & Neck surgeries
Oxy free 12/06/14
More surgeries 2016-17
2017 Oxy taper in progress
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Re: Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby syd » Sat May 14, 2016 9:30 am

Thank you guys for sharing your experience with us. There is room for us all here. I say us, because I've been on both sides.

In many ways, it's worse for the person living with an addict, cos we have no one to turn to. IF family & friends even know, they dont understand why we stay. It's those glimmers of the person that used to be that give us hope. A lot of our behaviors are rooted in Codependency, too. Sometimes we need to do some self analysis and ask ourselves what are WE getting out of this toxic relationship.

After 8 yrs, I wrung everything I could out of it. The hope eventually turned to resentment which turned to anger. The anger was the catalyst I needed to finally get the hell out.

FWIW, 9 yrs later and he is still right where he was when I left.

The members here are survivors. We dont scare easily. Feel free to post your thoughts & feelings without impunity.
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Re: IF I stay or If I go now

Postby My_Distraction » Sat May 14, 2016 1:05 pm

Thank you for the welcome, syd.

Know that your experience has been added to my arsenal and will help better prepare me for whichever choice (of the two) I make.
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Re: Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby southerngirl » Sat May 14, 2016 5:38 pm

I've been thinking about those lyrics.

And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster

I did hold on. And I laughed and I cried. But he didn't. He just sat. He just became invisible and I'm the one who quietly turned into the beautiful disaster. And that just ain't right. I think if I'd had a place like this twenty years ago, I wouldn't have had such a hard time making the decision of what to do. I had no support. None. My family (now there's where my real codependency lies) pretty much told me to slap a smile on my face and buck up. I didn't have the strength to leave then. I'm not completely sure I do now. But the one thing hanging over my heads was 'the children.' And time has done it's thing and now I'm all out of reasons to keep trying.

He is definitely a disaster, but there is nothing beautiful about him anymore.
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One HellOfA Ride

Postby My_Distraction » Sun May 15, 2016 10:27 am

:wired:
Last edited by My_Distraction on Tue May 24, 2016 5:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Ah metaphors...

Postby My_Distraction » Mon May 16, 2016 12:21 pm

:yawn:
Last edited by My_Distraction on Tue May 17, 2016 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Wrong Forum, perhaps ... but Right for ME

Postby subspouse » Mon May 16, 2016 12:32 pm

cheeps wrote:The three of you are our sub spouses. Until I can add a family and friends forum for you, personal stories is your temporary home.

There is no fucking denial here. Hopefully peeps can find comfort in reading your stories. Hopefully You all can find validation and temporary respite when you come here.

I can copy your threads and move them here, leaving a shadow copy in the existing forum. If you would like that, let me know.

i would be honored if you named the forum sub spouses. you can change my name...
i expected the typical replys you even hear at meetings...stick it out...blah blah blah
found no denial here. lots of private support..even open sharing.
we need a voice to keep from screaming when no one can here.
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