Holy FUCK!

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Holy FUCK!

Postby RamptonNugget-Beast » Mon Sep 01, 2014 6:32 am

Freaky Fucking Friday!!

Except it was Sunday...

First things first, I'm not a Goddy dude - quite the opposite. No. That makes me sound like a Satanist, lol
I was in and out of AA for years, but I just couldn't get with the programme. Wasn't for me, good for some...

Right at the beginning of that though - before I would even admit to having a problem, some weird, weird shit happened. I won't say (spiritual awakening) shhh.... Fucking hate daft clichés. Psychic shift? Hmm, a bit too spooky for that, but it was enough of an upheaval for me to immediately go from being an active alcoholic, to removing everything but beer from my diet, and attempting to get sober. A HUGE change overnight. It was big, BIG I tell you!

Well, if that was BIG, yesterday was HUMUNGOTASTICAL!
I was just sitting on the toilet, reading a book, when every bad thing I'd done, every bit of hurt, every emotion I'd had or inflicted on someone else came roaring through me. From NOTHING to floods of tears, to quote someone's post from the other day, crying like a bitch! A good 20 minutes.

When it finished, everything was crystal fucking clear. The guilt was gone and I knew EXACTLY what I needed to do from now on.

Holy Fuck! :shock:

No explanation. I don't even care the why's and where fores. I'm left feeling such gratitude, and I've already started working on what I realised. Nothing earth shattering mind you just what I should have been doing all along.

Really, if I don't fuck up again, I need never suffer through all this misery again.

FUCK!! This sounds so Christian, so Goddy, so AA PMSL!!! :ogeez:

PLEASE understand, I fucking HATE all that shit. NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!

I just wanted to relate what went on, the FREAKYNESS of it, and how FUCKING CONTENTED it has left me.

N.B. no psychoactive substances were involved in the production of this earthshaking revelation! Ha! :laughpound:
Last Subutex 14th of July...FINALLY SUBSTANCE FREE! In recovery.
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Re: Holy FUCK!

Postby Justjules13 » Mon Sep 01, 2014 9:44 am

It's like you "dumped" all your guilt you were holding in right down the shitter where it belongs!
Your doing great moving forward....don't look back!
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
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Re: Holy FUCK!

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 01, 2014 10:24 am

Personal revelation and morality are not religious eventho we were taught it thru religion. Right and wrong can be taught in non religious ways even tho they may come from that. Historical teachings lead us...those of us that are atheist or are not christian can have spirituality that includes the teachings of wise men and women. Humanists don't have to be deemed from a certain regilion.

All thru time including the cave man days people have been able to take the good, community and fidelity and live with it.....apes love, dogs love, birds love....they no nothing of religion.
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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Re: Holy FUCK!

Postby RamptonNugget-Beast » Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:02 pm

Whatever the non religiony word for AMEN! is pmsl
Last Subutex 14th of July...FINALLY SUBSTANCE FREE! In recovery.
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Re: Holy FUCK!

Postby cheeps » Mon Sep 01, 2014 2:12 pm

Yeah...I hate using amen....so I use "you got that right motherfucker!". :lol: :twisted:


But when im company I don't know, I say...."and so it is". 8-) :punchballs:
10 yrs on methadone
Meth free 10/08
Back surgery 5/12/14
Knee surgery 9/19/14
Oxy free 12/06/14
2017 taper in progress
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