Didn't know I was this strong...

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Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby Rachel3 » Thu Apr 04, 2013 10:57 am

My name is Rachel and this is my story...
I am 28 years old and have been a drug user all of my life, since the age of 10ish, and I am on the road to recovery. Let me give you my history so you can have better insight. When I was younger I wasn't scared to try any and every drug that was put in front of me and I always had an addictive nature ,runs in the family, I always noticed too that I liked to get high and it was not a social or recreational thing for me I just loved it. When I was 18 I got pregnant with my daughter and when it came time for her delivery I ended up having an emergency c-section, this was my first time using opiates before then it was cocane-ecstacy-downers-weed-acid-ghb whatever , and let me tell you I thought I had a problem before I took those lortabs booooyyyy was I wrong!! Well after I finished my script I ended up getting them on the street and it went like that for a while. One day my dealer says, "Hey you're spending all this money on these 10's why don't you try this (metahdone) you'll spend less money", tried it loved it duh hooked, same dealer introduced me to oxy's and that became my drug of choice me & oxy's had a volatile relationship for 5 solid years and compared to everything else but subs opiates has to be the worst addiction/detox of any drug out there! Well toward the end of my five year run me and my husband, who was also addicted, were trying to get clean I THOUGHT we were both doing good turns out I was but him not so much on October 11, 2008 I was at work and him and our five year old daughter Kaylen were together and he had a relapse that night he nodded off in the car with our babygirl in the backseat and they were both ejected from the vehicle, they both passed away and then I was lost and alone and once again I turned to the only thing that has ever been constant in my life and had a MEGA relapse!!! I went hard for about six months after their deaths and then I got on sub which isn't so great but it is indeed better than death, so here I am four years later tapering off of sub and doing better than I ever have drug wise, I live everyday to make my baby proud...
Rachel3
 
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby emily » Thu Apr 04, 2013 8:56 pm

Rachel

I am so sorry to hear about the passing of your little girl & husband! There are no words i can think of to truly express how i feel for your loss..

Congrats on getting clean! You are a STRONG woman & i have mad respect for you!
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby Rachel3 » Sat Apr 06, 2013 9:40 pm

Thank you Emily very much for the kind words and for taking the time to read my post and respond I appreciate it! I don't talk about it to many people so it felt good to kind of reveal it to the world in a way...
This sight really is awesome I am not traditional when it comes to my recovery and this is as close to an NA meeting as I am going to get, it really makes me feel great to have people to talk to that are going through the same things! Thank you!!!
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby emily » Sun Apr 07, 2013 8:00 am

You are welcome & i am glad you shared your story. Not alot of people read here..they kind of just go to the top to read & post.

You keep moving forward, life will be good again.
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby wastedtime » Wed May 01, 2013 6:32 pm

Rachel,I too am so sorry to read of your little girl and husbands passing.That has to be the hardest thing a person can go through in life.this site is great so keep posting as you taper down.It can be a great support for you.It is best to post in the subsux section for that purpose and you will get more responses there also.Again I am SO sorry for your loss,big hugs and peace,Goldie
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby Zippy » Fri May 03, 2013 3:08 pm

it really makes me feel great to have people to talk to that are going through the same things! Thank you!!!

I am sorry for your loss.

I too am tapering, come back and post and tell us you are doing.
Cheers,
Zippy

OFFICIAL MEMBER OF THE HIGH JUMP CLUB
Opiate free since July 2011
Sub free since 05/21/2013
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby Aubrey » Wed Aug 14, 2013 10:00 am

That made me feel really good mate kinda inspiring it is,I am glad that you have done it good to see it mate and the important thing is that you have posted it that can help a lot of people when it comes to motivation and stuff.
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Re: Didn't know I was this strong...

Postby Linda_09 » Fri Jan 17, 2014 11:26 pm

Nice post!
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