Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Please post, share, or read your personal story here

Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby mimiluv » Mon Oct 01, 2012 9:14 am

I don't usually help too many people anymore.. :)

I don't really like to post about my experience getting off of sub because it was such a mess and it was so painful..

The way I got into this mess was.. I had to have a routine foot surgery.. well the Dr. fucked it up and I ended up having to have 5 in a year.. :puppy-dog: I found myself addicted to percocet I took about 60mg a day..

I had never been in this situation before so I thought I was doing the right thing by going to detox to just get it over with.. I had a 3 and 5 year old at the time.. Anyway that is where I got on Sub.. :x I didn't know what it was or that it was addictive.. all I knew was that it made me feel better.

I was on it for about a year until I tried to get off of it myself.. I tapered down over months and was in w/d for like 2 months while taking about .5 or .25mg.. I couldn't do it.. so I went back up in my dose.. This was the spring of 08 that December I found this board and tried unsuccessfully a few times to jump.. The people here gave me some serious ass kickings.. (tough love). ;)

Anyway by the time I finally got off of it I was so unhappy and felt so bad while on it that I had to get off of it.. I had to have one more foot surgery in June of 09 and I got my Dr. who knew me before this shitstorm started and he gave me some SAO's to help me finally get off of it.. I am happy to say I didn't even take them all.. :D :o

So I took my last sub on 8/26 of 09 I think and my last benzo (had tapered them since 3/09) on 9/5/09 .. I used the sao's for around 21 days and then I just suffered.. by November of 09 I started volunteering at my kids Christian school, making the banner for the Christmas concert and teacher aiding.. OH.. :lol: I was a lunch lady too.

I would still have bad anxiety, it was a roller coaster ride.. but I felt better when I wasn't at home.. So I went there 3 days a week.. By Spring I felt pretty damn good and had an AWESOME summer in 2010 and the rest is history.. :D

I still come to SS.. to be honest it's not really about helping people.. it's to chat with the GREAT friends I have met here.. I truly love them.. we don't really talk drugs it's just about life.. sharing about our day ect.. The first year I helped a lot.. and would get really invested in people and then they would just disappear.. :ogeez: I guess I see some "what I think" are genuine people here looking for help.. and I am in the mood to help again.. :D

I can tell you though I would have NEVER made it without SS or the people here.. I lived here when I felt bad and I didn't feel all alone anymore.. I had NO ONE in real life that understood what I was going through.

So just keep hanging in there and Pm me if I can be of help.. It will get better.. PROMISE!! :kiss:
Angela
Sub Free 8/26/09 :boobshake:
User avatar
mimiluv
Crazy as Hell
 
Posts: 2207
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:25 pm

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby SoCal » Sat Oct 06, 2012 2:54 pm

hey,,

just read your story,,and you may not be wanting to help people but it helps me to see that you didnt make it off sub first try,,I dont know,,i guess i just kinda had you figured as ms perfect,,and i was wrong to say the things i said to you,,and im sorry,,i also dont think theres different kinds of addicts,,sure some do more stupid things than others,,but i guess how we do things as addicts come from where we came from,,how we were raised,,but we all had the sames cravings and wd's,,some just handled it better,,some are stronger than others and still live as they were raised knowin right from wrong and lived as they did before becomming an addict,, well,,maybe breakin the rules sometimes,,but just the little ones! :D
TT
User avatar
SoCal
 
Posts: 4511
Joined: Wed Aug 10, 2011 1:48 pm

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby mimiluv » Fri Mar 22, 2013 4:33 pm

But I hate to add this. But I am positive sub did something to me and I will never be or FEEL like the person I was before. REAL feelings are still hard to come by I mostly feel numb unless something really shakes me up.

I am still glad to be off of that shit though.
Angela
Sub Free 8/26/09 :boobshake:
User avatar
mimiluv
Crazy as Hell
 
Posts: 2207
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:25 pm

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby Unhookedfromsub » Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:28 pm

mimiluv wrote:But I hate to add this. But I am positive sub did something to me and I will never be or FEEL like the person I was before. REAL feelings are still hard to come by I mostly feel numb unless something really shakes me up.

I am still glad to be off of that shit though.



I know mimi exactly what you are getting at here. It sucks but it is still better then being on that shit any day! Myself I'm just trying to get by and some days are better than others but what is the alternative? I will never go back it was hell getting off!
I too started using after numerous surgeries, many. I had 6 in one year and that is where it all started. But I got better, so I thought afterwards but it was really just the subs masking it all in. To this day I still look back and ponder, what if?????
But it is 6 months now for me and things just are not exactly what they used to be before all this, but I don't think they ever will! It's called getting old and I have a hard time with that!
Stopped taking the evil man-made drug called Subutex 9/17/2012

02/08/15 - 02/14/15 hopefully!
User avatar
Unhookedfromsub
 
Posts: 463
Joined: Mon Oct 22, 2012 4:38 pm

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby Justjules13 » Fri Mar 22, 2013 5:31 pm

Thanks for writing this Mimi. It's shocking how many people are put on sub in rehab....sweet deal for the rehab, your feeling ok when you leave. So terrible and unfair to people. I'm glad you came thru it.
Have you ever thought maybe you have PTSS from all you've been thru? It might not be the sub per se, but more the shock of going thru WD that is making you feel numb?.... Just a thought.
Thanks again for your story.
J
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby mimiluv » Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:56 pm

Jules its funny that you say that.. I have thought that.. but I thought if I actually said it out loud I would get laughed at.. I mean I really think that is what I have .. I was left alone for months.. I could have been dead for hours.. my husband never checked on me ect.. he just wanted it over with and me back to functioning.. I have NEVER been through something so horrific in my life and I was just left alone with NO one except SS and that is why I love these people here so much.. they were here for me when NO ONE else was..
Angela
Sub Free 8/26/09 :boobshake:
User avatar
mimiluv
Crazy as Hell
 
Posts: 2207
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:25 pm

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby mimiluv » Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:02 pm

Unhookedfromsub wrote:
mimiluv wrote:But I hate to add this. But I am positive sub did something to me and I will never be or FEEL like the person I was before. REAL feelings are still hard to come by I mostly feel numb unless something really shakes me up.

I am still glad to be off of that shit though.



I know mimi exactly what you are getting at here. It sucks but it is still better then being on that shit any day! Myself I'm just trying to get by and some days are better than others but what is the alternative? I will never go back it was hell getting off!
I too started using after numerous surgeries, many. I had 6 in one year and that is where it all started. But I got better, so I thought afterwards but it was really just the subs masking it all in. To this day I still look back and ponder, what if?????
But it is 6 months now for me and things just are not exactly what they used to be before all this, but I don't think they ever will! It's called getting old and I have a hard time with that!



Yes... I am better now than I was when I was on sub.. but I am NOT the person I was nor am I a better person after.... I am here but not here.. I feel dead inside most of the time and I hate it.. I NEVER use to feel so empty..

I use to feel life, NOW I just deal and get through each day best I can...

Like my favorite show.. the walking dead!! :wired: But I AM better than when I was on it.. so THANK GOD FOR THAT!! I have 2 jobs now that I LOVE and some great friends and 2 healthy kids a roof over my head, blah blah blah.. what more could I ask for right??? :lol:
Angela
Sub Free 8/26/09 :boobshake:
User avatar
mimiluv
Crazy as Hell
 
Posts: 2207
Joined: Tue Jan 25, 2011 10:25 pm

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby Justjules13 » Sat Mar 23, 2013 8:22 am

Oh Mimi,
I truly believe that the trama of going thru WD can cause PTSS. Especially if you were put on it without knowing it caused such severe WD. I think being put on such a stong medication without being fulling informed is criminal. It appears more and more people are being prescribed Sub as a harmless pain med and detox tool without knowing the WD is aweful. Even knowing, the WD is so terrible that PTSS should be listed as a potential side effect. I have tremendous respect for people like you who have beat this thing.
J
Even if you fall on your face, you're still moving forward.
Victor Kiam
Pills and IV Morphine- 1985-1999
Methadone maintenance- 1999-May 23,2011 (140mg, tapering to 10 mg)
Suboxone-slow taper to zero, very minimal WD (jump date 12/9/14)
User avatar
Justjules13
 
Posts: 5071
Joined: Tue Apr 03, 2012 2:07 am

Re: Mimi's story short and sweet!!

Postby prefercontractions » Sun Aug 18, 2013 1:11 am

CAN U SUE A PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL?
prefercontractions
 
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Aug 17, 2013 11:32 pm


Return to Personal Stories

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron